Don't Fight The Tao

2012: Year of the Water Dragon

2011-12-31T11:09:00.000-08:00

Water Dragons – Years 1952 and 2012

Water calms the Dragon’s fire. Water Dragons are able to see things from other points of view. They don’t have the need to always be right. Their decisions, if well-researched, are usually better since they allow other’s to become involved. (from chinesezodiac.com)

2011 was a great year. We had a wonderful year of new classes added to our martial arts studio's offerings, students made outstanding accomplishments inside and outside of the Kwoon, lessons learned from struggles as well as successes.

As we move into 2012, the year of the water dragon, let's take heed of what the "personality" is for a person of the Water Dragon sign.....and let's try to employ the concepts this year. We are all entitled to our own opinion, but to truly be open minded is to be able to see things from other points of view. This is not to say that we have to "believe" in anyone else's point of vew, but rather to understand *why* or *how* others have come to their point of view.

Some people have the standing of "Well, I see where your opinion comes from, but I don't have to respect it". This type of thinking keeps our minds struggling to always be right and keeping others wrong. True, you don't have to believe or even like the other person's opinions, but at least having respect that others have as much right to believe in what they believe as you do.....that's what I'm talking about.

I'm guessing that some people will have their own opinions about this blog post...and I welcome them. :)

“Adult dragons are,astute,powerful,and sure of their strength. ”
― Ciruelo Cabral, The Book of the Dragon

A fun time had by all at the 4th Annual Bullwhip Demo/workshop at SANCA

2011-12-29T15:21:00.000-08:00

On December 27th I had the opportunity to work with wonderful bullwhip artists John Leonetti (Actor, cinematographer ,director and lifelong whip artist) , Louie Foxx (Professional magician, comedian, whip artist, whipmaker and all around cool dude), and Will Morgan (whipmaker/whip artist and son of famous whipmaker David Morgan).

We did a bullwhip demo/short workshop at the Seattle School of Acrobatics & New Circus Arts (SANCA), located in the Georgetown neighborhood of Seattle. It was a fun evening of discussion and hands-on learning, covering topics such as: History of the whip, whip types, whip anatomy, caring for a whip, whip safety and ettiquette. Each of us did a short demo, then the audience members broke up into groups to learn the basic cattlemans crack.

It was a fun evening! Not only did I get to work with some of the best in the business, but I reconnected with two previous martial arts students who study or work at SANCA! Many thanks to John, Will, and Louie for inviting me out. Would love to join them again next year if possible!

Go to the album link to see some photos that I took from the event:
https://plus.google.com/photos/108455661859937675427/albums/5691682517187724177?authkey=CJjxoILX18aW_gE

Here's some video that I took, also:

And....pictures that Louie took.... http://bullwhips.org/?p=5061

For those of you who might be interested in learning to crack a whip, my studio holds a free monthly practice group that meets every 3rd Sunday of each month at 5 pm. Beginners always welcome! More info here (3rd entry from the top) : http://seattlewushucenter.com/FREEmonthlyevents.aspx

I'd also like to do a shameless plug for Louie Foxx.....if you're looking for wonderful entertainment for all ages (kids love his shows!), check out his site at http://louiefoxx.com/ . Great for birthday parties, fundraiser performances, school functions....any event where fun and engaging entertainment for kids is desired. Don't forget that he does shows for the grownups too!

Partner work: Equal responsibility, maximum benefit

2011-10-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

Image license from 123rf.com

In pretty much all martial arts, students are expected to do partner exercises. These exercises may be in the form of drills, self defense practice, forms practice, calisthenics, academic work, etc.

As martial arts teachers, I'm sure you'get had this happen at least once (especially in kids classes)....you say "Grab a training partner!", and kids scramble to be with their best buddy, often running across the floor to get their favorite buddy even when there is another child standing right next to them. Or, maybe a duo ends up talking about what they fed their hamsters that day, instead of practicing the drill you gave them. These things can happen in adult classes as well.

Situations such as these are not necessarily a result of poor teaching. (when such situations happened at my school I often wondered what I was doing wrong). Instead, it might be simply that the participants do not understand the purpose of partner work.

So then, what is the purpose of partner work? Obviously, it is used to practice techniques against an "opponent". But it is more than that. As a student, when you work with a partner or small group, you have a wonderful opportunity to learn in a way different from solo training. Here are some things to consider:

1) You are responsible for your partner's learning.
Just because you might be better than your partner doesn't mean you should constantly remind them of that. Partners must share equal responsibility for each other's learning. Working with a partner doesn't mean doing your own thing while your partner happens to stand near you.

2) Challenge yourself while doing partner work.
If you are a higher rank working with a lower rank, this doesn't mean you can "lower your standards". Work at the lower ranks level, yes! But don't lower the standards of your own movement. Try your best to provide as best of an example as you can. If working on something very "simple" to you, then challenge yourself to execute as good of form and structure as you can. If you are a lower rank working with an upper rank, try your best but don't over-think things or become over-critical of yourself. You are not "holding your partner back", he/she is learning just as much as you are. Try to bump your comfort zone up a notch when working with a higher rank, by maybe lowering your stance, trying to up your speed a tad bit, etc. etc.

3) Don't become impatient with each other.
This holds especially true with teachers who demonstrate things while using another student. When you, the teacher, demonstrate with a student, you are doing partner work! Maybe your demonstration partner might react to your strikes a bit differently than what you feel is "normal', or they might make a slight mistake that messes up your flow. You MUST be patient and remember that you too, were once in their shoes. Allow your partners to figure things out as you nudge them along with guidance if need be, and allow mistakes from your partner and most importantly, yourself.

4) Feedback and communication is important.
Many lower ranks assume that they should keep their mouths shut and blindly follow the senior student, if they happen to be working with a senior. Feedback is just as useful for those upper ranks as with lower ranks! If you're working on a joint lock and your partner isn't quite locking it in, go ahead and politely say that it doesn't feel locked in. After all, if you don't say anything, your partner will assume that they are doing it right when they are not. Learn to give positive feedback without becoming "preachy". Nothing is more annoying than partners who appear to talk about everything they know about a particular technique.

5) Regardless of seniority, remember that you and your partner are working toward the same goal.
Whether it is sparring, grappling, push hands, etc.....keep your Ego out of the partner work. Sure, you might be the same rank, but when you start thinking you're "better", there's the possibility that your actions will show it. Then what, all your partner will learn is that you think you're better, or uncontrolled, or impatient, etc.

6) Try to grab training partners of all types....don't stick with just one body type or your best buddy.
Challenge yourself! While its so much easier to work with your best buddy or someone your own height and body type, you will learn a lot by working with varied people. Grab the person standing right next to you. If you happen to be standing next to someone, and you take a look at them and walk away to be with your best buddy, you just showed a huge amount of disregard and disrespect to that person.

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Remember, partner work is an activity that your teacher trusts you with. If you are not ready to work with a partner, you teacher will tell you. Don't take it personally if the teacher has you practicing basic maneuvers solo while everyone is practicing with a partner. As I said before, partner work is an activity that requires both people to be responsible for their partner's learning for that period of time. If your teacher needs you to practice your basics for a bit before allowing you to work with a partner, then know that your teacher is simply getting you ready for the other "fun stuff".

Guide for martial Arts parents: 10 things martial arts instructors want parents to know...

2011-10-10T10:18:00.001-07:00

As martial arts instructors, we teach all sorts of age ranges. If your school teaches kids, then its important that we teach patience, value of hard work, goal setting, etc. However we must not forget to educate the parents as well.

Unless a parent already has martial arts experience, many parents get their children into martial arts not knowing what it is about....that is what this primer is for.

"10 things Martial Arts instructors want parents to know"

(I will be speaking in terms of my school....)

1. Please use the proper term for the class. I teach Kung Fu, not Karate. While I also carry a black belt ranking in Karate, this class is Kung Fu. If they are cross training in another one of put classes, please use the proper term for the other class(es) well.

2. As stated on your class agreement, please call or email of you child can't make it to class. Just as you would call your child's school when he/she is ill, do notify us as we are a school as well. We plan classes with your child's attendance in mind, and we will need to adjust our class plans accordingly.

3. We have belt ranks to show a child's progress and to teach the progression to children. Most importantly it teaches children that goals must be worked toward, and that success must be earned, promotion is a privilege (not a right). We didn't make up this ranking system...it has been around for a LONG time. We charge a fee for exams not to make "more money", but to basically pay for that nice belt your child is now wearing. If we have to bring in other teachers and masters to be on the exam board, it helps pay their travel. We make serious decisions about who gets to be on the promotion list, it is not some random name-out-of-a-hat. If you don't wish for your child to be promoted, then my school needs to know BEFORE the fact, not after I put the belt around their waist. However, consider that it is your child that is taking the class, so please consider their wishes as well.

4. I have taken many classes in subjects that relates to what I do and have undergone over 30 years of countless hours of training...please don't dismiss my position as something like a summer camp counselor or recreation leader. I've studied many things in order to be a good martial Arts teacher.... psychology, accounting, business, philosophy, taken classes in teaching strategies, I take workshops and research many things, study first aid, CPR, and most of all I continue to be a student .....i don't just sit on my laurels as a "Master" The hours you don't see me, I'm practicing hard with my own teachers and putting in sweat and effort to become a better artist and teacher for your child. In many respects, I carry the equivalent of Doctorate degrees....teaching martial Arts is something not all martial artists can do....just because they can do, doesn't mean they can teach well. My goal is to be the best I can at both, to be able to do it well and teach it well.

5. I don't teach martial Arts to make a fast buck. I teach because I love the martial arts and I believe that the self discipline, confidence, and skills of martial arts will continue to be a part of a child's life long after they quit classes. While there are schools out there that charge exorbitant fees....have you noticed that my studio is not 5000 square feet, that I don't have locker rooms, showers, a lounge, and a fancy pro shop? Tuition fees, exam fees, workshop fees, etc pay the rent for our humble studio so that students have a safe place to train.

6. We are an "acceptance" school....we don't take every person off the street. This is why we have the intro trial lessons....it allows the visitor to see if our classes are a fit for what they're looking for, and allows us to see if the visitor is a match for the school. If a visitor has a bad attitude, is cocky or overbearing, they might not be accepted. We've turned away people, but we've always made good references for them to other schools. Doesn't matter if someone offers a large sum of money...if their attitude is negative, demanding (telling me what to teach them, when and how), or boastful, they will he shown the door. I've turned down a $1000 check for a private lessons because the person had a very bad attitude. It's all about the atmosphere of my school and the comfort of my students.

7. On the subject of testing, please don't demand that I test your child or ask when you will test for a rank. You will be notified personally if you or your child is ready to undergo a rank exam. If ready for ranking, then you're ready, if not, you're not.....and we'll let you know. Please leave the decision to the experts. And even if you have previous martial arts experience, allow the chief instructors to make the decisions.

8. We welcome applause and encouragement from parents if watching classes. But please, please please try NOT to correct your child....leave that to the teachers. By shouting across the training area, you take your child's attention away from the trained instructors. Please don't walk onto the floor to change your child's foot placement or posture. We understand that you want your child to do well, but please understand that a child's knowledge kinesthetic sense takes some time to develop. We are happy that you're interested in martial Arts for your child....we have classes where parents can work out with their kids.....you are welcome to do class with us on those days, however even then please leave the teaching to the teachers.

9. If you want your child to learn discipline, then please don't be shocked and tell Timmy to stand up if I put Timmy is a one-minute timeout in horse stance for pushing Johnny to floor in order to be the first in line. If little Johnny makes little Jane cry by not sharing an apparatus, I will have Johnny apologize out loud to Jane and give Johnny 5 to 10 pushups....please don't tell him that he doesn't have to do pushups. The words Please, Thank You, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, etc take priority in the class terminology. We teach kids that "self discipline is doing what is right even when no one is looking." We are trying to enhance similar tenets that you may have at your own home, not take over the discipline.

10. Lastly, please don't use my martial arts class as discipline at your home. Try not to enforce a "horse stance" if they don't clean their room....it will only undermine the real class. Do not threaten to take away martial Arts classes if they do something wrong....if they don't attend class how can they learn that their teacher supports your discipline? Do not use me or the other teachers as a threat (If you don't clean your room I'll tell Sifu!).

Communication is key.....as they say, "it takes a village". Communicate with your child's martial Arts instructors....it is a team effort. Sometimes you might find some statements or rules sort of odd, or that you might initiatially disagree with some rules. Before you form an opinion, be sure to get information and facts before making assumptions about school procedures. This is for the smooth workings of your child's class.

Beat stagnancy in its tracks

2011-09-25T19:23:00.000-07:00

"When you're green you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot" - Ray Kroc

(Part 2 of a 4 part series about the internal (mental, emotional, spiritual) aspects of martial arts and self improvement.)

We all hit a stagnant phase in our martial arts training. That feeling of almost being "bored" in our art. This feeling of stagnancy may manifest as a "lack of interest", a feeling of not feeling motivated, or feeling as if things remain the same even if you try hard.

Someone asked me once some years back, "Wow, 30 years studying martial arts....how do you do it for that long? Doesn't it get old?"

"Old? Not really...." I responded. "I guess I got lucky enough to find something else fun and exciting to play with in my martial arts all this time..."

To best explain why I chose to keep going in the martial arts, beyond the "hobby" phase, I'd like you try this simple visualization/meditation:

From the standpoint of being a martial artist in the present time, ask yourself, "Why did I get into martial arts in the first place?" (insert any long term activity here if you're not a martial artist). How long ago was it? Did you get into it because you saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Did your parents get you into it to learn about fitness and self discipline? Whatever the reason, think back to that time. What was your first lesson like? Try to remember as many moments of that lesson..... Were you excited at the prospect of learning "ancient fighting moves"? Did you start dreaming of using a staff like that one Ninja turtle? (I forgot which one had the staff!).

Now think about one time where you realized you really "got" a particular technique. Allow yourself to feel that sense of satisfaction and pride in yourself that you "did it". Allow yourself to feel that "reward" of being able to do that same new move again, and again. The trick now is, to find ways to bring that sense of excitement back....otherwise, things might start to be "same old, same old"..

Most times, we grow out it, or something piques our interest enough to get back on the bandwagon and go "gung ho" into the training again.

If you find yourself hitting a stagnant period of your practice, ask yourself "am I really 'training' or am I merely practicing at a comfortable level?" If someone is practicing the same Kata over and over again, it can get a bit monotonous if you don't approach your training with a mindset that motivates you to find a new twist to the Kata or the finding a way to apply the Kata in a way that improves other facets of your training.

For example, let's take the basic Kata or routine from your art. Do it once, as best as you can. Okay, looks great...but how to improve? How about putting a new weapon in your hand, one you haven't worked with before. I taught a basic Eskrima class to people who had little or no weapons experience, and the addition of an apparatus really brings one's awareness back into the form...instead of just "doing the Kara", now you have to think again! Puts a different spin on the same Kata!

Try doing your kata slow. I mean really slow, with stances lower than you normally would. At my school we call this "low and slow" training. The trick here is to not cheat by making the transitions between movements too quickly....instead think of making the pace consistently slow throughout the form. Your legs in the low stances might remind you they are working. :) You might find your balance a little off, or that you might lose your place in the form a time or two. This "tai chi" type of training can aid in keeping your awareness in each movement.

Sparring: Let your imagination drum up different ways to approach sparring. How about sparring one handed? Maybe not allowing kicks with one leg? How about adding the "push hands" or "chi Sao" sticky hands exercise to your drills? There are many possibilities!

Let your creativity go wild in finding different ways to train your self defense, sparring, forma and fitness. Creativity is one way to beat stagnancy! I would love my readers to share their own methods and ideas for fun alternative training drills and activities.....please post!

Aware mind and Thinking mind in martial arts and other experiences....

2011-09-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

This is part 3 of a series about the 'internal' aspects of martial arts training. Its nothing mystical...its simply the mental and emotional components we have that help or hinder our training and motivation. :)

Thinking, or more precisely identification with thinking, gives rise to and maintains the ego, which, in our Western society in particular, is out of control. It believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy. Negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, envy, and jealousy, are products of the ego.

- Eckhart Tolle

I was talking to someone about the meditation practice that I open to the public each month. I invited him to a session and he said "I'm not very good at it, I can't get my mind to shut off, I keep thinking."

"That's why its called 'practice'. Its not called a 'meditation master' class." I replied.

"I don't know how you guys do it..." he said. "I just can't get my mind to shut off".

"Its not about shutting off your thoughts....Its about not dwelling on them or passing judgments based on them. If you're not thinking, you're dead." I said. "But...we tend to over-think a lot of times. Meditation balances us out a bit, and allows us to to be open, honest, and aware. Its just sitting and experiencing each moment as it comes without judgement and without goal. Its a quiet awareness....not not overactive thinking. You could benefit from the practice...you should try it out".

I haven't seen him at a practice yet.

So, what's the difference between the Awareness mind and the Thinking mind, anyway? I'm just going to present my view, based on experiences so far.....pardon me if I ramble.

Awareness is a 'moving stillness'...it moves from one moment to the next, not dwelling on the material from a previous moment, nor judging the moment or material. Our thinking mind can become judgmental or try to convince us that we can predict the future *based on past experiences". There's a catch to this "future prediction"....if your experiences with something are what you consider as "bad", then there is the possibility that you will "expect" the same if a similar experience happens.

Awareness is now, not the future or supposed possibilities. Awareness allows us to recognize and experience the world around us, whereas thought can give us the ability to change how we view the experiences. Awareness is acknowledging each moment and living each moment as it comes without trying to control, prove or disprove.

Thoughts are largely comprised of things we've remembered, imagination, even "pictures" and words. However, the thinking mind tends to bring out the judgmental sides of us. For example, consider the "Vulcans" of the "Star Trek" series.....Logic was a revered trait, and everything was based on this "thinking mind" and logic. It is possible to become obsessive with the thinking mind, logic and reason,... that it affects our ability to feel emotions fully. Some may turn overtly to the thinking and logical mind to avoid past emotions that were painful, or to maintain a sense of "control".

I'm not saying that logic and reason will turn you into Mr. Spock. We all need logic and reason to experience the world in many degrees. However, if we get stuck in logic and become overdependent and obsessive with it, it can probably prevent us from getting "full" experiences.
So, how can we use awareness in our martial arts training? Well, one good exercise is to feel your body as you practice a form or Kata. Feel each stance as you move....check your stance without looking down at it....does it feel correct? If not, correct it the best way you can, based on what you perceive a "correct" stance to be. If you don't know if it is correct or not, ask your teacher. If you make a mistake, don't concern yourself with "did Sensei see that?" or "I'll never get this right"....that negative self talk is your THINKING mind being judgmental. As we practice awareness in our martial arts training, we must be honest with ourselves. If we try to control everything and pay attention to every little thing, that is not awareness....that is merely the need to control. Its as if you impose your opinion on everybody else while saying you will hear others...., that is not awareness, that is still the need to be controlling. Its hard for us to let go....many people see this as "giving up control" or "relinquishing one's power" or even "giving in to delusions".

Awareness, however, is not expecting or waiting for things to happen. In my martial arts classes, we say the "awareness is the most important aspect of training". However many students assume that it means "paying attention to what is going on around us....and most times, they associate this awareness exercise with an exercise we do called "circle drill", where people in a circle randomly "attack" the person in the middle of the circle, who in turn has to defend himself/herself. In this type of attention, the attacks are already expected....the defender just has to react. Is it still awareness? Depends on how you approach the exercise.

Ever meet a martial artist or athlete that instantly knows what needs to be adjusted in their movement or technique? Those people have great body awareness. Ever see a beginner or intermediate martial artist be corrected by the teacher in class, only to repeat the same mistake over and over? Its not that they are necessarily "uncoordinated", its just that they need more practice at being aware and present in their own bodies......it is common for beginners to concentrate so much on the outside form of the techniques, trying to get their fist to go this way and their legs to go that way.....and that can prevent the inner awareness from paying attention. This is expected. Practice is the key.

I tell my students all the time about how our minds can trip us up by being tricked by our own need to be in control.....and many have found that the harder they grasp on to control of their goals, the lesser grip they have on the process of getting to the goal. And some have found that if they get too logical and scientific with their martial arts, the less it makes sense and the less intuitive their reaction times are. When I say "stop thinking so hard", I'm often met with a blank look.

Again.....I'm not saying that logic, reason, and the thinking mind are bad. I'm not saying that at all (Did some of the judgmental minds think so??). As I said earlier...."Thought" is part of the content of awareness, and thought allows us to reflect...which in turn, allows us to grow intellectually, emotionally, and even spiritually. Overthink, and you override the process of turning thought to intuition. Many people make the choice to not listen to their intuition or "follow their heart" because they believe that thinking with intuition or emotions only leads to heartbreak. I disagree. Whatever negative things that happen when you follow your gut, has nothing to do with you following your gut! If something doesn't go your way, its usually because you still tried to impose your control over the event or person. That's not following awareness of intuition.

I've taught students who are very concerned about the "science" of martial arts"...the exactness of perfect parries, the perfect stance, etc. To a certain extent, as martial artists we must embrace the science, but allow awareness.of "now" to develop into "intuition". Let's face it....when the crap hit the fan during a physical confrontation, the assailant won't give a hoot about how good your grasp of martial "science" is. You have to pay attention to "right now" if you want to fight effectively.

I know other's views might be different, I've even been accused of having "negative" views of the overly logical bunch. I'm not looking for judgement or being told I'm wrong or right....to be honest, I don't much concern myself with what anyone else thinks . (And I don't mean that in a mean way....I'm just saying that comments that come from people who feel the need to argue or to prove their point, don't bother me). When the judgmental minds start balking, they really aren't listening. Its kind of hard to listen when you are holding on to listening yourself think,and grasping so tightly to maintain control of your reality.

I'd be interested in hearing your views on Aware-Mind vs. Thinking Mind. Remember though.....no judgments! :)

Academic knowledge, experiential wisdom

2011-09-20T16:14:00.001-07:00

*This is part 4 of a series about the internal (emotional, spiritual, mental, etc) aspects of learning martial arts. *

In an earlier blog post, "Is it knowledge, or just your opinion?", I spoke about surface knowledge and actual internalized knowledge. Now I'd like to post thought about "experiential wisdom"....something gained when you truly know and understand something. Experiential wisdom is gained in any subject, but in this case I'll be speaking about martial Arts.

If you're a martial arts teacher, you've met them before...the people who talk more about what they know instead of having skill that matches all that information. When you invite them on the floor, they politely decline, or they have an attitude that screams "inflated perception of one's own abilities."

Memorizing techniques and retaining academic information is great....but I'm a believer that people shouldn't say that they know something unless they've worked at it for a long while and has explored as many aspects of it.....otherwise, its merely thin opinion, not knowledge. True knowledge of a subject can't be gained by merely reading books or scouring the internet....you have to practice it, explore it, feel it.....and all the while keeping an open mind that allows for other variations of information to be considered for your learning. Most of all, you have to give that new found knowledge time to integrate with your experience. It is this time, as well as absorbing the knowledge and experience, that eventually turns into experiental wisdom. The thing to remember is to allow time and practice.

Too many times however, in martial arts, some choose to consider themselves experts at something when they have little experience. Give it time....give it energy and commitment. Accept that you don't know it all and stay motivated to gain actual experience.

Wisdom awaits....what will you discover in the meantime?

Is it knowledge, or just your opinion?

2011-09-14T12:16:00.001-07:00

Part 1 of a series on internal aspects of martial arts and self improvement....

Have you ever noticed, that the most opinionated people tend to rant, complain and find fault the fastest? While those who are truly knowledgeable make their points known, but not point fingers and look down their noses at others?

I call the behavior of complainers and know-it-alls, the "attempt to control Universal knowledge".

I get youngsters visiting my studio a lot, many times with previous Karate or Tae Kwon Do experience....usually around 3 to 6 months. When they take their intro lessons at my school, sometimes I'll be interrupted with "Karate does it like THIS..." Or "That's easy, I already know dragon stance...." (when in fact they have never done it before).

So why do young kids blurt things out like that? Adults in the martial arts know that if they interrupted the teacher, they'd get a bunch of pushups. But even if the kids knew this, it doesn't stop them. Why not?

Because there's that point in childhood where everything is about them and what they know...for many youngsters, their world is the world everybody else experiences. This mode of perception could be at 2 years old, could extend all through teenage years. I know some adults that still think their perceived world is the only true world. :) kidding aside, if kids are exposed to only one thing, one activity, one facet, without seeing the variations, they believe that is exactly what everyone knows....a "universal knowledge". They're not trying to be rude, they just assume everything is Karate.

I had one new 4 year old tell me I needed to get karate belts. "we wear sashes to show our belt rank" I said. "yeah, but...but. but you should get belts so everyone knows what belt you are." Heh heh! The child didn't hear what I said....instead made sure I knew the right way to do things. :)

Ever notice too, that the word "you" is used a lot by those who feel the need to prove their point? More "you" refererences than "I" references....usually in pointing out others supposed faults..."You need to do this", "you need to do that."....many times this phrase is used by "academic masters" not true, "knowledge earned though toil-sweat-and-struggle" masters. Hint, teachers....try saying 'that skill needs....(insert points), and here are tips for you in practice"....this allows students to feel a GAIN, not a sense of incompetence when you say something like "you NEED to relax!" They know they 'need' to, but since they know they're not there yet (otherwise you wouldn't be saying "you need to...") , it can make them feel that they're missing something. Just goes to show that just because you know, doesn't mean you can do. Just because you can do, doesn't mean you can teach.

Problem is, sometimes people don't grow out of that mode of thinking. People assume everyone should think like they do, and they look down upon anyone that doesn't think as they do. They make general assumptions, even going so far as to label others with their opinionated "truths". Personally, I'm getting tired of seeing constant flame wars about which martial arts is best, religion vs. Athiesm, people thinking they're smarter than others, labeling others as stupid or delusional, Tai Chi style arguments, the best way to make a pie, etc etc......In the end no one gives a hoot about how smart you *think* you are or how good you *think* you are....a Get a grip on Ego and the need to be right, people.

. Someone once tried to tell me who I was as a person, what I thought, and what my beliefs were......WRONG WRONG and WRONG. (yup and the words "you you and you" were used a lot)..... It was all based on opinion, not true knowledge about me as a person or an attempt to try and understand my core beliefs. I didn't believe exactly as they did, and therefore I'm black sheep....something they themselves despised being tagged as. Go figure.It is said that knowledge is power.....but be careful that your don't rely on it as your sole support. That would be like relying solely on your pocketknife for self defense, and not going to Martial arts class because hey, you have a knife right? Don't need anymore of that antiquated martial arts stuff. Get that knife taken away from you or get frozen by adrenaline dump....NOW WHAT? You should realize that the knife is a tool in your toolbox of self defense or combat tactics....no one tool will match every job.So the next time you think about being a blowhard, ask "Is this true knowledge or just my opinion based on my biases?"

Book Review: "Beyond Human--Claiming the Power and Magic of your limitless self"

2011-07-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

I wrote an editorial review of the book "Beyond Human--Claiming the Power and Magic of your limitless self" by Jaden Rose Phoenix, because I believe that the concepts and insights in this book would be great for martial artists. This book goes beyond run-of-the-mill "self help" books (and I've read a lot of books in the genre), allows the reader an opportunity to feel comfortable in moving the veil of human Ego aside, and take a deep look inside.

Want to move beyond fear, self doubt, and other roadblocks that prevent you from attaining goals? Then is MindBodySpirit book is a wonderful place to learn ways to "get out of your head" and into personal successes.

Don't worry, reading this book won't make people think you're weird or a spacy "woo-woo" New Ager. This fear is what prevents many from reading books like this..... however, Jaden takes the jargon, mystery and "guru mythos" out of it, and explains techniques to make positive shifts away from our control-freak-expectation oriented brain barriers. In my opinion, many of us (if not all of us) program our own thought patterns into belief systems, and hold so tightly onto these patterns that sometimes we work too hard to fulfill our self-made prophecies....it feels good to be "right", doesn't it? But sometimes we want to be "right" all the time and we'll fight tooth and nail to prove ourselves right. Jaden's techniques help guide people out of this self-programming and Ego feeding, and onto success. As Jaden points out... "fear is simply an illusion".

Many of our stumbling blocks to success are based on fear. We've all probably seen the saying: "Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real", right? Well, many people, when they hear this, become motivated to move beyond fear, however they will ignore the fear in a vain attempt at courage.....but this doesn't solve the issues as to WHY you fear situations, people, or things. Nor does it address HOW to move beyond it. Jaden's book moves you through finding your way through fear, and to a "point of Power".

Its a quick read, entertaining, and the exercises Jaden presents are easy...with no experience in meditation or any other "consciousness practices" required. Give it a look!

Available at Amazon.com

Middle age: Crisis or celebration? For me, a celebration!

2011-07-12T00:43:00.000-07:00

I'll be turning 45 this month. Yes, not often do women give away their age, but I'm okay with it. :)

What exactly is the "mid-life crisis" that people so often speak of? Is it where people ask themselves "Am I where I hoped I would be?", "Well damn it, I should be at *this* goal but I'm not, now what?". Is it a realization that we're not as nimble as when we were 20?

Whatever it is, I don't see middle age as a crisis. I see it as a celebration, for me at least. Each year is a celebration, because I wasn't even supposed to be here, actually.....

I was born prematurely, at 6 months. Being that technology for premature baby care in hospitals was still very new at the time, I had to be airlifted from the small hospital in the outskirts of Seattle where I was born, to University Hospital in greater Seattle, where their new wing for premature births had just opened, with all the latest medical technology of mid 1960's. The doctors whisked me away from my mother after I was born, trying to keep my tiny lungs from collapsing and to keep my heart beating. According to Mom, I started to come out breech, then the doctor tried to turn me around, then my foot kicked out (hmmm, sign to be a martial artist?), but they finally turned me around. I did not cry at birth, and my appearance made the doctors realize they'd better do something quick. My Mom says that I fit in the palm of the doctor's hand. Wow, hard for me to imagine!

After being airlifted to University Hospital, I was kept in intensive care for 3 months in an incubator, hooked up to breathing tubes and lines stuck into my arms. According to my Mom, several other preemies were in the same room in other incubators...another 6 month old, and a couple 7 month olds. They passed away a few days later. My parents started to freak out....they didn't even name me yet, because they weren't sure if I was going to make it either. My Mom remembers... "When I would see you with all those tubes sticking out, I would always feel faint!" A small hole in my heart was something that the doctors debated about operating on, being cautious as they didn't know if I'd survive the operation. But apparently, the hole closed up on its own and I started to breathe on my own.

After staying in the hospital till "full term", Mom and Dad finally got to take me home. There's a picture my Mom has of my homecoming, and I still ask my Mom to this day "Wow, that was me? I was soooo tiny!" I definitely wasn't the same size as most newborns when they come home.

What's funny, is that I was told by friends that I "change" as the days come nearer to each birthday. Sometimes this "change" might be "spaciness", sometimes incredible changes in temperament, sometimes even changes in "energy". I used to scoff at it, convinced it was all in their heads. But, oddly, as I think back, I remember many occasions *after* my birthday where out of the blue I'd "hear" odd noises like muffled voices, doors opening and closing..."feel" odd sensations like being picked up, hands on me, being cold (even in the middle of summer!), the feeling of being short of breath....and sometimes, I'll pick up the distictive odors of iodine, alcohol, and "new carpet" out of the blue (I still don't understand the new carpet smell!) ! Some have theorized that somehow I "remember" some parts of my months in the hospital, but I honestly don't remember anything specific! Would these changes in temperament and odd sensations be a result of my body "remembering" the trauma?

My Mom has always said "There's a reason why you lived through that, even though those other older babies-bless their souls-did not". To this day I still wonder what the reason is, but I'm guessing the path I've chosen to take has led to me several things: Sharing with others, following my passions, experiencing the many lessons of Love, Happiness, even Anger (and other less than savory emotions), and feeling joy for even the littlest of things. If this is what being "alive" is, and if this is the reason I'm here, then I hope for at least another 45 years.

Mob mentality: Vancouver, what happened?

2011-06-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

Last night, Downtown Vancouver BC erupted in violence and looting after the Canucks lost the Stanley Cup final. Story here: http://www.lawofficer.com/article/news/vancouver-hockey-fans-run-wild (thanks to Brian King for the link)

I must say....I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. When we had riots here in Seattle in 1992 about the Rodney King verdicts (http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?displaypage=output.cfm&file_id=3054) , it was sort of understandable. I was still disappointed in our city back then, about the lack of emotional control that the citiziens of our city displayed. But, I have a few words for Vancouver:

IT IS A FREAKING GAME, FOLKS!
A GAME! JUST A GAME!Let me reiterate....I'm not disappointed at Vancouver as a city. I'm disappointed at the citizens that CHOSE to throw a temper tantrum just because their team didn't win. I'm disappointed in the women that crashed through stores and stole Coach bags and stole makeup and clothes. I disapointed in the people that didn't care that there were people that just wanted to get out of the riot area. We'd expect this type of behavior from 4 year olds that don't get what they want.....but grown adults. Come on.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm better than that and spout fortune cookie wisdom. I'm not going to sit here and type about how badly those riot mongers acted and try to give counsel and advice as to how the violence can be "controlled", nor will I spout off about "Its not about if you win or lose, its about how you play the game". You know why? Because we are HUMAN.

Anger is a secondary emotion. In the case of the Canucks loss, the fan's own disappointment (sadness?) played a big factor. Can you imagine?...after all the buildup of the Canucks making it to the finals, and playing on home turf....can you imagine wanting the victory so badly on your own turf that you could literally taste it? Then being soundly defeated on your turf? I'd be disappointed too! We're human and yes its natural to feel that disappointment.

But what separates rioters from those who can just move on, is how we process that disappointment. It is common for anger to rear its ugly head and cause us to want to inflict the same hurt and disappointment on someone else, or in this case, to destroy the streets of downtown Vancouver. The mob mentality is so easy to get sucked into. All it takes is just a few other people to do what you only think of doing....and if you see others doing it, then it tends to trick our brains into thinking that you now "have permission" to do the same ("if they can do it so can I"). There's a lot of news footage of people standing near burning cars and throwing garbage....do you think they actually thought about the video proof that could land them in jail? Of course not....the only thing that mattered was letting loose of that anger about losing the Stanley Cup.

I'm sure that most of the people that were involved in the looting and violence, would never start such actions on their own. "Strength in numbers". But come on Vancouver brothers and sisters....looting is STEALING for gosh sakes. Vandalism is vandalism, doesn't matter that the Canucks lost and you think its okay that trashing the streets is justified.

This is why I practice martial arts....it allows me to remind myself to keep concentration on myself as well as everybody else. Having been a victim of my own anger and fury, I know how it can affect my critical thinking, problem solving skills, and awareness. I've said and done things out of anger that I've regretted ....and I know that I might give in to anger again. But I can only hope that I can recognized myself when I get to the fury point and "check myself before I wreck myself".

Is "mob mentality" necessarily a bad thing? Not really....depends on what type of mob mentality we're talking about. If a group of people are thinking positively and working toward a good goal, then people call it "Group Support". But if the group is feeding anger to each other, then we tend to call it "mob mentality". But in the end, the group thinking and the cohesiveness of the group is the same....they're both "mob mentality"....but its just a matter of what mentality we choose.

Positive Mob for me, please. :)

Passing on a wonderful blog post from a good friend....

2011-05-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

My friend, Jaden Rose Phoenix, of Alchemy Wisdom, posted this wonderful blog post on the subject of "Ego vs. Heart". I just wanted to share it with all of you. :) http://alchemywisdom.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/the-seduction-of-ego/

"Don't you know who I am??"

2011-04-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

"None of our men are "experts." We have most unfortunately found it necessary to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert because no one ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible." ~Henry Ford, Sr.

We've all met self-proclaimed "experts" in martial arts or other activities at one time or another. Have you noticed that some of these "experts" might look down their noses at you because you're not quite at their lofty level? Sure, as "experts" they gain success in whatever they do, but many times some end up having their staff do the things that make things happen, while taking the credit of the accomplishments.

Now, I'm not against anyone requiring assistants to move forward in their endeavors....in fact, I think it is necessary to delegate tasks to those willing to assist. However, when we get to a point where we proclaim ourselves as "experts" or "masters", there comes a risk of forgetting all there is left to learn.

"Well, my students call me 'master'", you might say. "Should I ask that they NOT call me by the title?" That's fine. Their willingness to address you as "Master" is their expression of acknowledgment of your time and experience in (insert martial art or activity here). If you've been formally promoted to the title, you've earned it....much like a Doctorate degree (and the title "Doctor" is fitting in that case). However, if you proclaim yourself as a Master, and carry yourself as if you were royalty, saying "What, you don't know who I am??", then your Ego is going to trip you up someday.

What I find amusing, is when people introduce themselves as "Master so-and-so", regardless if it is at a martial arts function or not. What I find doubly amusing, is when people introduce themselves as "Master so-and-so" when meeting a well known and widely recognized Master. "Title-dropping", I call it. Many bona-fide experts do not call themselves "Master", nor do they consider themselves such. The individuals that always strive for learning and growing (regardless of time and experience in the field), are the ones that students are lucky to study under.

Keep the Egos in check. When others give you the honor of choosing to call you "Master", I believe one should acknowledge the honor and move on....knowing then that you've still got a long road ahead.

Train hard, be well! Gassho.

Are you a "Teacher", or a "Coach"?

2011-03-15T14:05:00.000-07:00

Those of us that have taught martial arts for a long time, know that teaching or coaching people isn't as easy as we thought it would be when we were still a student. We also are aware that Teachers can be coaches, and vice versa. But is there a difference between being a "teacher" and being a "coach?". I'd like to sound off with my views, and I welcome my reader's views as well:

Teachers:
Teachers are mentors, of sorts. They commit a sincere personal interest in you progress, act as a role model, gives you advice and shares their past and present personal experiences throughout your progress. Students know you have an expectation of them, and they trust that you'll guide them.Good teachers know that they have a big responsibility to their student and know that it is a two-way street.....As the teacher teaches, they too learn as well. As the student learns, they too teach the teacher.

Let's compare teachers to...let's say... theatrical directors. Teachers set the stage for the students, teaches them the script and performance, handles rehearsals, and motivates the students into realizing that EVERY day is "opening day".

Coaches:
The term "coach" is sometimes used to even the scales between student and the more experienced coach. In martial arts, many students tend to see the "space" between themselves and the "Master" as a very vast area, whereas the space between a coach and student is a bit less. That's not to say that coaches are "less than" a teacher, because teachers can be very effective coaches as well (and they should be!). The coach tends to focus on your performance, and students may find themselves shouldering the responsibility of performance more, as the coach fine tunes, gives advice, and constructive criticism.

While the Teacher teaches the gamut of "who what when where how why", the coach makes the student responsible for applying those facets into performance.

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In my opinion, these responsibilities are interchangeable, so a good teacher should be both the Mentor and Coach. What do my readers think? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Food Highlight: Guyabano (Soursop)

2011-03-01T09:58:00.001-08:00

The Guyabano has long been used in the Philippines and other parts of the world as a food and medicine. With a prickly appearance on the outside, and a wonderful flavor on the inside, this "wonder fruit" is high in carbohydrates, with considerable amounts of Vitamin C, Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Potassium and dietary fiber. Guyabano is known to be low in cholesterol, saturated fat and sodium.

Independent clinical studies have shown that guyabano extracts are effective in killing cancer cells while leaving healthy cells intact, suggesting that it might have less adverse effects than regular chemotherapy (which kills healthy reproducing cells as well as cancer cells, which results in hair loss, fatigue, and nausea). However, for some reason, no double-blind clinical tests or trials have been executed as of yet.

Having been raised on natural remedies and the use of herbs and foods for health, I remember my father adding Guyabano to Ginataan* for a delicious dessert, or eating it fresh. With its spiky rind, its a prehistoric looking thing, which made it a fun fruit to eat. Filipinos use the leaves by boiling into a decoction that is used as a tea to help reduce fevers, leaves in a bath help with reducing fever or used in a hot foot soak to relieve foot swelling and pain. Crushed leaves can be applied as a type of compress for rheumatism or skin afflictions such a eczema.

The seeds, by the way, can be crushed and boiled to make a natural bedbugs and mites killer. Just spray onto linens and let dry, then wash the linens. Spray liberally onto mattresses, being sure to spray into the box spring as well. No odors or harmful residues like chemical insecticides.

Medicinal and home uses aside....give Soursop a try. Try it in a refreshing blended bubble tea, Ginataan* (yum!), or even in fried Guyababo (yes, I know fried *anything* can be bad for you, but a little treat every now and then wouldn't hurt, right?)

Fried Guyabano--easy to make!
--Peel Guyabano, slice into pieces and discard the seeds (or use for the bedbugs/mites spray)
-- Dip the pieces in beaten egg & water mixture then dip into flour (some people add cinnamon).
-- Fry in light oil on both sides till brown. Some people like to sprinkle a bit of cinnamon or brown sugar on top, or serve with a splash of honey.

I hope you like Guyabano/soursop!

*Ginataan: Typically a thick dessert "soup" made with thick coconut milk, taro, jackfruit, sweet potato and tapioca pearls. Other fruits are added to taste. Great served hot on cool days, or served cold with a splash of sweet evaporated milk on hot days. Ginataan is also a word sometimes referred to *anything* cooked in coconut milk.

Throwing out the myths of....Meditation

2011-02-24T15:18:00.000-08:00

Stock Photos from 123RF

While meditation practice is commonplace in my Tai Chi classes, I've been slow in implementing it into my Wushu and Kung Fu classes. Not because I don't think it is beneficial (I believe meditation is HIGHLY beneficial), but because I didn't think it was something my hardcore Wushu and Kung Fu classes *wanted*.

I know, I know....."teach what you feel is important for the arts, not just what the students want" you might be saying. However, many things popped up into my head, such as "What if the students think I'm trying to 'convert' them to some modality of belief?", "What if they think its too 'woo woo' or 'new agey'?", "How would I convince the die-hard 'kick ass and take names' students that love an intense workout, that meditation is as good for their body as the physical workouts?"

Truth is, I thought too much about what I thought the students *didn't think they wanted* as opposed to *what I know will be beneficial to their training!

So, students.....as much as the exercises, sweat, and toil are important to your physical fitness, meditation is just as important to your mental fitness as well. So, lets debunk some common meditation myths that might be holding you back from this great activity:

Myth 1: I have to be flexible enough to sit in lotus position for long periods:
Although some methods of practice do use the lotus position, you don't have to worry about tying yourself in knots to meditate. Meditation can be done while standing ("zhan zhuang"), sitting in a chair, while moving (as in Tai Chi), or even laying down (however, sleep usually happens after a while!). You can even "meditate" while doing your forms!

Myth 2: Meditation is solely a religious thing:
Sorry to bust your balloon, but it is not. While members in systems such as Zen Buddhism utilize meditation as a part of their practice, meditation itself is NOT solely a religious practice. While some people use the phrase "contemplative meditation" in reference to "prayer", that's just how their particular belief system might label it. However, not all meditation is prayer, so everyone...including Athiests, can benefit from meditation.

Myth 3: Meditation is all about chanting Mantras and putting my fingers together in odd ways:
The use of Mantras and Mudras are just but a few methods that people use while meditating, but are not used as the standard rule for all. Remember, there are many ways to meditate.

Myth 4: Meditation will allow me to get into altered states or give me special powers:
If your only goal in meditation is to get into altered states (much like with the use of drugs) or to attain super powers, then you're missing the point of meditation. To fixate on a goal too much, will take away the benefits if you get stressed out about not meeting a goal. While your mind may give you the sensation of floating, you're not flying. While you might see colors or images, unless you've already taken a drug, you won't "trip out". Does meditation change your brainwaves, though? YES. Scientific studies have shown that the brain undergoes changes from Beta (wakeful) waves to Alpha (relaxed physical and mental state) , and with some practitioners, to Theta (a state of reduced consciousness).

Myth 5: Meditation's goal is true enlightenment and connection to the Universe:
This is where many people think meditation is too "woo woo" or "new agey". Again, if you fixate on the goal of enlightenment you're being too goal oriented and will most likely become frustrated when enlightenment doesn't come (besides, how do you recognize it? Do you wake up one day and just say "Wow, I'm enlightened! I know the Truth!!"). One of my teachers once told me, that people tend to see others as "enlightened"....the enlightened person just goes on about his/her business, never bragging they've reached enlightenment. Any knowledge they have, is simply knowledge, and is normal to the "enlightened" person, not some big, fame-producing thing. So, apparently, if you say you're enlightened, you're really not. You're just recognizing that you've reached one of many "A-ha!" moments.

Myth 6: I have to train myself to think of absolutely nothing to meditate:
Your brain will naturally form thoughts.....some your don't acknowledge, and many you do acknowledge. These thoughts are a natural result of our biases, beliefs, upbringing, experiences, expectations, emotions, etc. Many people mistake non-committal meditation as "thinking of nothing". In fact, when we say "clear your mind", we mean "don't attach to your thoughts, fears, concerns, etc". Acknowledge a thought, don't hold onto it, and let it go. Ever watch a DVD and think "Oh! Rewind that! I want to see that again!"?? That's what we do in our minds, many times a day......e hold on to a particular "scene" and replay it. Meditation is the opposite....we just watch the whole DVD without rewinding and without getting stuck on any one particular scene.

So...What IS meditation, anyway? It is a form of awareness. Some methods use mantras to focus their minds, some use relaxing music, some sit in silence, some may practice while walking and paying attention to the ground beneath their feet and how their body feels during movement, some may focus on the sound and sensation of their breathing.....there are so many ways to bring a relaxed state of awareness to the body. If you feel sleepy after meditation, then you just relaxed....you weren't "aware". While meditation does help the body relax (which is conducive to sleep), if you are sleepy after meditation then you were merely just going to sleep, not meditating. :)

The benefits are wonderful....less stress,more relaxation, refreshed mental state, broader outlook on personal problems, etc ....although I must point out, these are benefits to the practice, NOT the goal of the practice.

However, for those of you that are dead set on having a "goal" in meditation.....the only goal I can think of, is *well deserved time for yourself* !

I'd love to hear from the readers....Please add your thoughts about other myths of meditation, how your meditate, etc! Looking forward to hearing from you.

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Brainwaves and meditation: (Science Daily) http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100319210631.htm

Meditation research, scientific findings:
http://www.researchingmeditation.org/

http://www.tm.org/research-on-meditation

Scientific American: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=meditation-on-demand

International Journal of Psychophysiology: Study- "Effects of Transcendental Meditation practice on brain functioning and stress reactivity in college students" http://www.t-m.org.uk/articles/Effects of TM on brain functioning and stress in students.pdf Alternate link: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T3M-4TJX1PW-1&_user=10&_coverDate=02%2F28%2F2009&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_origin=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_searchStrId=1655236106&_rerunOrigin=scholar.google&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=00f67966ab7a3e263003abec5c2f3a84&searchtype=a

Header image courtesy of:
Stock Photos from 123RF
Image license purchased by Restita DeJesus

Sorry about tripping into you, I must've stumbled on my own Ego.....

2011-02-20T16:42:00.000-08:00

I was watching a video on YouTube about Aikido, and reading some of the comments about the video. "Aikido is fake", "this is lame!", "No wonder why the guys got beat up, why are they always holding on? Grab something else! so dumb!". Two people got into it over who knew more and arguing about semantics.

However, nice video, by the way.........

In a way, we all think we're experts "after the fact".....after watching a video or demonstration and then thinking "Pfff...that sucked, I could do way better", "Geez, that person's form sucks!", or "I could beat that guy". Come on.....you mean to say you've never at least *thought* it? Liar Liar pants on fire!

I've seen people watch other martial artists sparring at a martial arts event, then find everything wrong with someone's techniques or choices. Usually I find this behavior from people in the audience (not other competitors), and sometimes I want to ask them "How long have YOU been training?". But you have to remember, its relatively easy to be an armchair critique *after* the match....but wait till you're *in* the action, in real time....its a whole different story. They just don't realize that knowing what to do and applying it are two different things.

There's no use in trying to argue with the audience "martial arts master"....they've got it all figured out and will go out of their way to teach anyone that will listen about their superior knowledge. There they are, barking orders at the martial artists in the ring, telling what to do, what techniques to throw, and what weaknesses the opponent has. Some people will even be so bold as to go to the martial arts official and dispute what they thought was a "bad call.

For these people, I often want to tell them to "shut up and sit down", but in their minds, they know what they're talking about and will refuse to see they're being jerks.

Our minds do funny things when we're right in the thick of the action....it takes training to be able to think on your feet under pressure of a tournament, freestyle demonstration or self defense encounters. What we thought we were so better at, all of a sudden goes out the window when a little stress shows up, and we're forced to eat a little humble pie or put our foot in our mouth.

So for me....in order for me to prevent my putting my foot in my mouth, I try to keep my mouth shut and remember that in the end, it doesn't really matter that I think I'm better, smarter, faster, more logical or have more of a grasp on the science behind martial arts. What matters is that I improve yourself for the sake of improving, and not necessarily to make other people look like "they suck". I've stumbled over my own Ego and arrogance more than once, and still do sometimes....its just that now I try to not be so biased and try to see the good in everybody's ways of practice.

Besides, the truly confident people won't give a hoot about what I think anyway. :)

Who ya gonna call....STRESS BUSTERS!

2011-02-18T17:43:00.000-08:00

Even the best of us can have stressful days. That project at work, schoolwork, obligations, too many places to take the kids and not enough hours in a day, being pressured by your supervisor, stressing out about finals.....there's a lot of stuff that can tax our patience.

Stress is just our body's way of dealing with changes around us or demands on our body or our time. Some stress is good (Eustress), which is associated with good emotions. For example, getting a new job....you're excited, probably trying hard to keep up with the new information, wondering how you can into the lunch crowd with the employees, trying not to get lost in the new building, etc. Performing in front of an audience for the first time can also be "stressful", but in a good way. Even though we might be nervous at first, it allows us to keep motivated to do a good job in front of the audience and feels great when the job gets done. Eustress is commonly a short term thing when it comes to situations and activities, and the "stress" fades with time and practice in the activity.

However, when the stress is negative (Distress), it can affect our bodies in less than favorable ways. Chronic stress can manifest as anxiety, depression, bursts of anger, decreases our ability to cope, and may lead to physical or mental problems problems (depression, pain, problems with sleep, lack of libido, mental breakdowns, etc). Negative stress may be caused by such things as divorce, death of a loved one, loss of job, money problems, etc. Stress may be exascerbated by oneself by negative talk to oneself, an "all or nothing (perfectionist)" attitude, and decreased self esteem. If not nipped in the bud, negative stress can turn into a chronic problem and make life difficult. When it gets to the point where making even simple everyday decisions is difficult, then its a sign that the stress has gotten out of hand.

How can we combat the effects of the daily pressures? Just a few suggestions:

Obviously, I'll say... Tai Chi. :) Tai Chi requires that we become aware of each slow movement. As we focus our attention and energy to the movement and let go of the urge to "get it done already!", we give ourselves the enjoyment of no deadlines, no perfectionist expectations, no judgment from others, and great exercise.
Meditate: Even 5 minutes of quiet time, where that 5 minutes is all about just "being' instead of "Oh my gosh why am I wasting time when I could be (working, driving, planning, exam cramming, etc)!!" Try not to get into the hype about the "right" method to use to alleviate stress. All methods are beneficial! Try to get some instruction from a qualified teacher on meditation techniques.
Breathe: When we're stressed, we tend to breathe in a shallow manner. Take about 10 seconds to take deep slow breaths. Come on, that 10 seconds is NOT going to completely ruin your important schedule!
Take breaks: It IS allowed, don't worry. :) Go outside and walk for a few minutes to clear your head for the next mode of action. Sometimes, just getting out of the immediate area of the area of stress will make a difference.
Take the time to have fun: Do an en activity you enjoy.....do some gardening, have a girls-night-out or boys-night-out, go to a comedy club, go dancing, etc. If you're saying "I don't have time to have fun", then you're in a stressful *lifestyle* where you are choosing to keep in the stressful cycle.
Exercise: Any type of exercise. Not only will it benefit your body, it will work off some of that stress.
Know that activities such as these are part of your "YOU" time: It is important to spend some time on YOU, regardless of the deadlines and pressures. I'm not suggesting that you ignore the deadlines, what I'm suggesting is that you block away a little time each day for YOU....not behind the computer, not worrying about bills or deadlines, not running around like a chicken with your head cut off. Just 5 to 10 minutes every day (I actually believe in 10 minutes every 3 hours) will make your day so much more bearabel!

There are many more ways to beat stress....I'm interested in hearing your input about what works as a stress-buster. Please post your thoughts here!

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Great article on how to beat the winter blues....

2011-02-18T13:06:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to share this interesting article forwarded to me from Roxanne McCann of nursingschools.net, about 50 natural antidepressants that can help curb the winter blues....

http://www.nursingschools.net/blog/2011/02/50-natural-antidepressants-to-beat-the-winter-blues/

4 letter words that are not allowed in my martial arts school.....

2011-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

Of course, we wouldn't allow curse words in our martial arts schools, would we? But what about the other 4 letter words that our students sometimes put in their heads, or that we as instructors sometimes use during a class? Words that, if used with a negative mindset, can stall one's progress. Words like...

Can't: Limiting oneself by resigning to "I can't do it"

Won't: "Well I can't, so I won't try..."

Fail: "What if I fail?"

Fear: "Wow, that's scary, I don't think I do that."

Self Talk (Okay so its two words. But they're both in 4 letter format!): "Why can't I do this technique yet? Everyone else can, why not me?"

Need: "Sensei says I *need* to stop looking so floppy with my kicks". (for some people, this can put a sense of value on the word "need", and makes the student feel like they're not accomplishing the "mandatory" skill). While we do expect certain standards, the way students practice those standards can be affected by one's mindset.

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How can we as instructors combat the 4 letter words that are almost just as bad as cussing? By adding in "power words" in our dialogue when correcting the students. Words like...

And: "That's a great outward block, Timmy. I like how you're trying your best with it! And, now let's stop the block in front of your shoulder, and it will lock in and feel great!". The word "But" separates a sentence into two ideas for a student, such as "That's a great outward block, Timmy, but you need to stop the block in front of your shoulder". This phrase says "My block is okay, but its still wrong."

Know: "Wow, I know you're coming right along with your kata! You've practiced well to know your kata, will you show it to me?" (notice how the word is used by the instructor to acknowledge the student, and the word is used in the student's experience.). Use this word when you've seen a student work hard at something.

Gain: "Mary! I noticed that you gained some speed in your hand-drills!" (doesn't matter that Mary's forearm block isn't quite perfected yet, but she got faster with a drill that she struggled with the previous class....acknowledge this!)

Glad: "I'm glad to see you came a little early to get extra practice before class!"

Excited: "I'm excited about tonight's class, folks! We've got some great drills that will enhance your kata and strength tonight!" (set the tone of the class....if students are excited, then corrections are very much welcomed)

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Teachers, I'm curious as to what 4 letter words your school's students might be harboring in their heads that might be holding them back, or what 4 letter words you use while teaching. Also, what "power" words do you like to employ in your teaching? This discussion is open to any teacher, not just martial arts.

The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor,

loved or unloved,happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.

- Ralph Charrell

In Good Training....

-Restita

Primer for Martial Arts student parents

2011-01-25T14:23:00.000-08:00

We've all heard of "Soccer moms" or "Little League Dads".....but how about "Martial arts Parents"?

My previous blog posts addressed tips for the "martial arts newbie" and "New martial arts instructors", then I realized.....what tips would I give to parents of kids that are in martial arts? Well, here you go.....what to look for in a martial arts school for your child, tips, etc. Also, I've included honest points of view from a teacher's perspective.

Take some time to choose a good school for your child: Whether the class is held in a community center or a commercial space, take the time to do a little research on the schools in your area. Don't just enroll your child in a class only because "its close to you". While convenience is nice, the closest martial arts school may not be the school your child is attracted to. Remember, these classes are for the *child*....the child should have some say in what style or method they'd like to try out. Call around and ask if you can observe a class, and ask if the school has an "introductory program", a "trial lesson", or something similar where the child can try out the class with no obligation to join.
There are many benefits to martial arts....teamwork, self discipline, critical thinking, fitness, cultural knowledge....the list is almost endless. While many sports are just as fun, there's something about martial arts that only a martial arts practitioner can describe as being "different" than other sports. For me personally, I've formed lifelong bonds with people that have trained alongside me,...that have been through grueling workouts, frustrations, pulled muscles, and self doubts right alongside me....they "understand" me and other martial artists. Granted, these things are possible in other sports....I just can't put into words how the benefits of martial arts has shaped my life....not just my skill set, but my life.
Know that not all schools are the same: While many of the techniques in martial arts are "universal", the teaching methods and the styles themselves are not all similar. Kids gravitate to certain styles based on their personalities and interests....take this into consideration when looking for a school. Again, try not to get your child to join a school just because it is close to your home.....the class should be a match to you *child*, not necessarily to your proximity to your home.
Ask if there are different tuition rates based on the number of classes your child attends per week, or if there are cross training discounts if your child studies at different subjects at the school. Some schools will offer different rates based on if your child attends once a week, twice a week, or three times a week, while others may charge a flat fee regardless of how many times the child attends. Some schools offer more than one subject...for example, a school might offer Karate on certain days and grappling on other days. Most schools will offer a discounted tuition price for the second subject if your child chooses to take on a second subject.
How are the instructors at teaching those with special needs? If your child has special needs, ask if the school has taught students with similar needs or if they can modify movements to fit your child's needs. Obviously, a kicking movement in a Karate or Kung fu routine may not be possible for a child in a wheelchair, so if the staff can attend to modifying routines and self defense maneuvers to highlight your child's strengths instead of focusing on what the child "can't" do, then that would be a great school for your child.
If your child does participate in an introductory session, do realize that the teacher or staff will speak to you about the possibility of your child enrolling as a regular student. I'll be honest, and say that we as martial arts instructors, if we have a commercial space, we run a business as well, and hope to gain clients as much as any other business. However, good schools will not pull a "hard sell" on you.....after all, we're talking about the best interests of your child in these classes, and we're not selling a used car. Have questions or concern ready for the instructor or staff, and don't feel self conscious about asking the questions you might have. The instructor or staff will gladly address your questions or concerns.
Month to month, contracts, sliding scale, etc: Some schools will charge their tuition fees on a month to month basis, where you can quit at any time. Some schools will use contracts that may range anywhere from 3 months to a year. Keep in mind that with contracts, you are responsible for paying the balance of the contract, even when your child does not attend. Again, I'll be honest....tuition for a martial arts school is sort of like college tuition....you pay tuition, but its up to the student to attend classes. In college, if a student skips out on class or doesn't attend class for a week, the college is not liable to refund a day's worth or week's worth of tuition. If money is indeed an issue, ask if the school has sliding scale fees.....many schools do have sliding fees for low-income families. (At my school, we offer pro-rated tuition *only if* a student misses more than 2 classes a month if attending once a week, or will miss more than 4 classes in a month if attending 2 or 3 times per week. We give no refunds for missing class one or two nights due to a cold, school concert, football game, etc.)
Pay tuition on time: Its the parent's responsibility to know when tuition is due, not the child's responsibility. Many schools have a late fee for tuition paid after the due date, please respect that. Please don't back date a check when you put remit it late.....schools will generally post a tuition payment based on the date received, not when the check is dated. Usually, schools will give a few days leeway, but if you remit tuition 2 weeks late and back date the check, what example does that set for the child? The staff at martial arts schools will gladly take into consideration any financial difficulties you may have, so if you have an emergency expense or bill and can't pay tuition on time, let the staff know. I'm sure the staff will work something out with you (payment plan, etc), and sometimes even waiving the late fee.
Get to know your child's martial arts style and support your child's endeavors: You don't necessarily have to take classes, but at least know the basic information about your child's class. If your child is in a Judo class, please don't use the general term "Karate" for it. If your child's school has periodic "recitals", try to attend them. Watch a class periodically to show your child you support their progress. (of course, ask your child if you can watch. Some children prefer to have their class time as "their" time without parents watching. Respect that if that's what your child wishes). Or, on the ride home, ask something like "You said last week that Sensei might show you more moves of Pinan 4....did you learn new moves today? Can't wait to see the new moves if you want to show me and Dad....". Things like that, show your child you support them in what they do.
If your child chooses to quit martial arts classes due to loss of interest or chooses another activity, ask about what made them come to their decision and respect that decision. However, you should accompany your child to tell the teacher that he/she will not be attending classes anymore. This, while it may be sort of a nervous experience for the child, it will teach the child important lessons they can use in their adult life.....such as explaining why they're leaving/quitting a job, to take responsibility for his/her actions, to not just "skip out" and hope no one notices, etc. Support your child. Sometimes, children will lose interest because they feel they're not progressing as fast as they should, or maybe they're feeling awkward that they're not "getting" the moves as quickly as others, or that the class does the same stuff over and over. Discuss this with the instructor....many times, its not "loss of interest"...but instead something the child feels is "missing" from the class. If the instructor is able to take your child's goals into consideration, you might find your child's interest might pick up again. However, if the child chooses not to continue, support that decision and move on to the nest interest.
Consider having your child "earn their keep" as "partial payment" toward their classes. If your child already receives an allowance from you, you may decide to consider adding on extra chores or special around-the-house jobs once a month for the child to "earn" money to pay for the class. Until your child is old enough to get a part time job, it is you that pays for those classes. Not only does a child feel great about "earning" money for their own class, it teaches a sense of responsibility that they will carry on to adulthood.
Okay...the bane of martial arts teachers....Please don't coach from the sidelines: If you are watching a class, please...no coaching from the sidelines. "Bobby! Your LEFT foot!", "Katie, your OTHER hand, no not that one, Sensei said the RIGHT hand!". The teacher and assistants have that covered, thank you. We as teachers understand that you want your child to do well, but if you're shouting at your 4 year old during class, you'll only confuse them. The child will wonder who the "real teacher" is, and it will distract them from fully putting attention on the teacher. I'll be honest and say what teachers sometimes want to say: "Your child's lack of knowing the difference of right and left, is NOT a reflection of you as a parent....its just their learning curve. Let them learn, and allow the teachers to teach." If you have previous martial arts experience, the rule of "no sideline coaching" applies as well.....let the school's staff teach that class, because your Karate experience might not apply to the school's Kung Fu lesson that particular day.
Don't be afraid to ask about your child's progress. Periodically ask the teacher how your child is doing. The teacher might suggest that the child take 5 or 10 minutes each day to practice a particular move, or might suggest a few private lessons to get him/her caught up on things needed for an upcoming rank exam. However, try not to dictate to the teacher how to teach your child. Please leave that up to the professional.
Address the teachers and assistants by their given titles. When speaking about class with your child, try to use the titles that the teachers have....Sensei, Sifu, Mr. Smith, etc. This shows your child that you care about what the child is learning. I see parents in the grocery store frequently, and the smiles the kids give their parents when the parent says "Hey Joseph, look who I ran into! Sifu DeJesus!". Besides, it teaches the kids to respect earned titles such as "Doctor", etc. Some kids can actually become confused if a parent addresses the teacher by nickname or first name, and they wonder "Can I call Sensei that when I'm a grownup?"

Now , I'd like to talk about a subject that might not comfortable to talk about.....If you are sensitive to such matters, I suggest you stop reading, BUT I strongly suggest you read what I have to say.....

A subject that is not frequently addressed in martial arts books: What to do if you child mentions something about "inappropriate touching". I know, its a hard subject to talk about. But I must address it because it is a subject that most often is NOT talked about.

First I'll talk to the teachers and staff: Remember, as a teacher, assistant, or staff member, you are an adult that has been put in a position of trust. You must not do or say anything that would compromise that position of trust! Plain and simple! If you can't handle that, then don't be a teacher!
For Parents: If your child mentions (heaven forbid) something about being touched inappropriately or verbally harassed by school staff or another student, please don't brush it off. Address the issue with the head teacher or school owner, and don't be afraid of looking like the "complaining parent".

Keep in mind, however, that some martial arts, such as Judo, JuJitsu, Aikido, etc, will have contact in close proximities between students and sometimes even between teacher and student. Those arts mentioned have techniques that only work in close proximity, such as throws, sweeps, pins, and "tap-out" submission maneuvers. However, martial arts schools teach these techniques appropriately, safely, and in a professional manner. Keep in mind that if your daughter is in a Judo school, that others will be in contact with her while learning to do a throw, sweep or tap-out technique. Your child, who is familiar with the art, *will* know what is appropriate and what is not, what speech is appropriate and what is not, and what situations are comfortable and what are not.
Address the complaint with the teacher or school owner in a factual manner. Don't point fingers, but don't take excuses either......allow yourself to hear rebuttals (if any), then allow your intuition to tell you how to proceed, and face the issue with professionalism. If you feel you should take your child out of the class, then do so. If you feel that you should contact authorities to help you with this matter, then do so.
No adult in a position of authority or trust ever has the right to abuse that position of authority or trust. Let your child know that and let your child know that you are there for them should they have *any* concern. Of course, you don't want to scare your children from martial arts, sports or any other extracurricular activies, but that "talk" should be something that should be done anyway, as part of their growth process.

Whew, that was even uncomfortable for ME to talk about....but I have to put it out there.

I'd like to hear from other martial arts instructors, as to what tips you'd like to give to new Soccer....er, I mean, "Martial arts" Parents. And from parents, what questions do you have? Your comments are welcomed!

I highly recommend this book: "Parent's guide to martial arts" : http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1880336227?ie=UTF8&tag=martialdevelo-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1880336227

Tips for new martial arts teachers

2011-01-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

Previously, I wrote about tips for newbies coming into the martial arts world. This time, it will be for new teachers coming into the world of teaching martial arts.

So you've passed your black belt test.....congratulations! Chances are, sometime in the near future, your teacher might entrust you with helping a senior black belt with a beginner's class, or even a beginners class of your own. What an honor, right? Indeed it is, for the position of an assistant instructor is a great responsibility. You have to uphold the rules of the Dojo, set a good example for other students, and be a positive representative of the school. But along with that, you have to *teach*.

I learned about teaching through trial and error, I made many mistakes (and still do) and always hope to make the path a little easier for the new teachers that I bring up, but I have to remember that they too have to learn on their own.....while I can inform them of the bumps and obstacles along the way, they still have to do the walking themselves. :) So, a few tips for the new teacher who is teaching at their Master's school:

Class scenarios:

Try to keep your teacher's curriculum as true to form the best you can. If you cross train in another art, try not to add that cool new drill you learned in the other class without first clearing it with your instructor.
There are many ways to plan a lesson. Try to include 3 main concepts: Academics (history, lineage, terminology, etc), Basics (fundamental movements and techniques), and New techniques. The academics are important, as I've met students who don't even know what style Karate they are studying...they just know it as "Karate". Basics should always make its way into your lessons, no matter how high a level certain students may be. Basics can sometimes bore some students, but they can always be improved upon. (See "how do you teach or practice 3 techniques without boring a class" below). Including at least one new move or technique or concept each class is great too!
When teaching new students, don't over-correct. A common occurrence for new teachers is to teach every single fine point of a technique to a new student all at once. This not only will frustrate a new student, but will make you look overbearing.
It is understandable that you want the students to do well, but remember the "3 marble rule": Imagine that only 3 marbles can fit in the space of your head....if you push a 4th marble into your head, 1 marble has to bump out to make room, and you've lost that marble! Most students can handle 3 major corrections in a single class. As students grow in skill and experience, the amount of "marble" that they can handle increase. So don't overcorrect and try not to teach 15 different fine points to a technique all in a single class. 3 new techniques or major corrections per class are usually enough.
How do you teach only 3 techniques without boring the class? Utilize different drills for those techniques. For example, if teaching "backfist, roundhouse kick and outward block", devise a two person drill where 1st person throws a backfist at partner, the other blocks with outward block, and the 1st person counters with roundhouse. Or have a speed contest where the class has to do all three techniques and set in a stance of your choice....last one done has to do 5 jumping jacks. The possibilities are endless in devising great drills and exercises that focus on particular techniques without boring the class.
Understand that new students will not move as you do. Don't get frustrated with students when they are not mastering a technique as fast as you did when you were a beginner. I still learn lessons of patience when teaching classes. :)
Words make a difference. Avoid using words that imply the new student is deficient in a skill...they already know they're beginners, so don't imply that they "suck"! A phrase like "You HAVE to relax!" implies that the student is overly stiff. Well of course they are, but try not to single out a student. Address the class as a whole (everybody needs the info!) and see if the correction happens with a particular student....if not, feel free to correct the student, but don't make them feel stupid. I like using words like "Want", "Could" or "Can". For example, "That's a great side-horse stance, John....and now we want to straighten that back leg to make it a bow-arrow stance for the technique...like this (demonstrate)".
Check your Ego. Being a teacher doesn't mean "be bossy". Be firm in disciplining inappropriate behavior, and let students know of the school's expectations and rules, yes.......but being generally bossy and snippy, with a "my way or the highway" attitude will not win points with the students or senior teachers.
Many schools will require that new black belts teach or assistant-coach in classes as part of their experience needed for advancement to a full "instructor" title or next belt degree. Do not assume you will be paid for your time in teaching. If you balk at not being paid, then don't learn to teach then. Nowadays many schools offer great training programs in teaching people how to become good teachers or how to run a martial arts school, often at a discounted fee if you gain experience by teaching and leading classes. If that is a program that is available at your school, do take the class. You'll be glad you did.

Private lesson scenarios:
Although it is not common for a new black belt to be given the opportunity to offer private lessons until they have more experience, if given the privilege of holding private lessons, here are tips for the new teacher:

All of the above-mentioned points apply.
Remember that private lessons are just that....private. Don't bring your friend into the training area to watch. If you're being paid for the lesson, the student is paying for the private session, not to perform in front of people.
Exception to above tip: Young children MUST have parent or guardian nearby, and parents should have full view of the lesson if possible.
If you're teaching within your Master's school, try not to think that your private lesson student is "your" student....they're still students of the Master. So carry yourself in a manner and teach in a manner that reflects the school's expectations, not your own that are outside of those expectations.

Some people might read this and say "Well, if I'm the one teaching, why should I adhere to my Master's curriulum? As long as I get the students to where they should be, why should it matter how I teach?" I'm not talking about teaching *exactly* like your teacher does, or using the exact same wording in classes as your teacher. What I'm saying is don't add embellishments just because you think its cool. Never say "Master so and so's way of doing this is good, but I've got a better way"....for that implies that you think you are your Master's equal. (rude and disrespectful!). If you have a great way of presenting a drill to a class, then that's fin, but never imply your way is better than your teacher's. You've still got a long way to go yourself, you know!

If you're given the opportunity to teach at your teacher's school, you've been given a responsibility that should be honored and respected. Although its "your" school as a student, it is not "your" school to do with as you please. When you get up in rank a bit and eventually attain your OWN school, THEN you can run your school as you please, assuming it is run in manner that upholds quality instruction, honor, respect, and community service. The last thing you want is the "Cobra Kai" type Dojo as seen in the old "Karate Kid" movie.

And besides....as a new black belt....you're STILL a student yourself. Don't rush to become a great teacher. Great teachers are forged through practice, learning, and hard work, just as in regular martial arts classes, and it is the students recognizing you as a great teacher that allows you the "title" of "great teacher".....it is arrogant to give yourself that title, be it in your own head or verbally aloud.

Now I'm not saying that we should make things too easy for our students....not at all....Martial Arts are supposed to instill a good sense of self discipline and confidence through hard work, right? All I'm saying, is that we as teachers can bring out these traits in students without being overbearing a**holes. For me, I prefer "Old School" training.....hard work, sweat, and struggle, with a good teacher strictly reminding me where my lazy areas are and waking me up to the potentials I have. I've also trained in China and Japan, where harsh criticism and disciplinary measures are common in some schools, however the key point here is that no teacher in those schools doled out the discipline out of malice, Ego, or personal gain....the whole point in their teachings was to forge a strong will and spirit within me, and pound out the egotistical issues that distracted me. I knew that if I was corrected, that they cared enough to not let me do it incorrectly and look stupid doing so....I considered it an honor for a Master to physically move my arm or stance to the correct posture, and to tell me to repeat the movement again and again until I did it correctly on my own. When I did get it right, a smile and a thumbs up from the teacher, and my excitedness of learning a new skill, was all the reward I needed. When I was asked to lead a group of new beginners through an exercise.....would I buckle under pressure of being watched by the Master, or would I set a good example by trying my best to pass on the great tips given to me by the Master? It all depended how I "took" the training.

While some people can't handle that type of Old School training and seek out an "easier" school, it is unrealistic to expect a martial arts school that doesn't expect your to try your best, doesn't correct you just so your feelings don't get hurt, or allow the wrong movements to become habits just so you don't experience humiliation. It boils down to the interpretation of the student.....if a teacher says "Oh, you can improve on that by turning your arm this way..." and you think "Oh my God! I must really suck! I'll never get this right!!", then really, its the issue of the student, not the teacher or the curriculum.

Good teachers can still hold a firm stance in the discipline department without being a jerk, and they can correct your techniques in such a way that *you* learn to recognize inconsistencies with yourself and correct it yourself someday, and they also should have no problem training you to a level where, when they get their black belt, that they're better than you were when you first got yours. That's my goal, anyway. :)

Train hard, train well. Until next time!

Choosing a martial arts school & learning martial arts: Primer for potential students

2011-01-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

I saw a funny stand up comedy video the other day, where the comedian spoke about her friends who were starting to get into health and fitness. She spoke about how "two grown adults" were taking Karate. "You don't take Karate when you're an adult, you take it when you're 8 years old! You don't use the moves in Karate when you're a grownup! What would you need it for?" Initially, I took it as an affront, but it was a tongue-in-cheek comedy routine, and it indeed was pretty funny.

Martial artists out there, I'm sure you'd agree that no matter what age you started martial arts, that the positive benefits and "moves" will stay with you for the rest of your life...all through childhood and adulthood. Granted, there's nothing wrong with taking a martial arts as merely a "hobby" or for sport and recreation, or for something to take up time after school. But regardless of the sport or art, its all about the sports coach or martial arts teacher that determines whether or not the lessons and skill learned in the sport or martial art, stays with the player/student and provides part of a base with which to build upon during future years.

With that in mind, here are some tips for people looking to get into martial arts and for parents looking to get their kids into this fun activity:

1) Do a little research before visiting schools. Yes, it might be a little bit of work to email or call schools in your area, but its important to get a feel for what is being taught, who the teacher is, etc.
2) Focus on the school's content and overall feel, not the fact that its got the cheapest tuition. If the school "feels" right for you and/or your child, then the learning experience will be that much more enjoyable. Don't jump into the cheapest school just because its cheaper than other schools.....you might end up joining a class that your personality might not really be attracted to. If you are looking for lower cost classes, check out community centers or YMCA's, but keep in mind that the class schedule is usually not negotiable due to the facilities other events or class room rentals. Full time schools will most likely offer "open training" times during the weekends, where students can come in to practice on their own, make up a missed class or get extra coaching. Full time school may also have hours where you may come in for guided coaching on your free time, private lessons with a coach or master instructor, or have classes during workday lunch hours. This probably won't be available at YMCA's or community centers as the class schedules are set times only.
3) Parents, please be aware that "Karate" is not taught at all martial arts schools. I've seen parents in Kung Fu schools call the class "Karate class", or Aikido classes "Karate class". These are entirely different arts. If your child joins a martial arts school, find out what style is taught and get a brief overview of the art's history and the history of your school. This will make classes funner for your child especially when they can talk to you about the training and classes, and you won't be clueless. Better yet, if there is a mixed age class and you're interested, join in with your child. (see below for tips on taking classes with your child)
4) Students: Are you joining a school only because the learning progression is quick and goes by what YOU want instead of what the Master requires? If you join a school only because the "cool stuff" is being taught and the rank progression is very quick, take a moment and look at the other students. Do they talk or move about when the Teacher is teaching or demonstrating? Are the students not so excited about practicing basics but light up when the "cool stuff" is taught? Do the students not like being corrected? How's the effort of the students? If you join a school only for the "cool stuff", you will not learn the discipline required to achieve higher skills and ranks, and your mind will turn into "selective learning"...this is not respectful to the teacher, when you listen only when YOU want to! I've seen too many students at some schools that learn intermediate or advanced skills or weapons when they are clearly not ready for the skills....and while the weapons or skills may be "cool", the foundation and form will clearly not be as refined if seen by expert eyes. Students should go through skill progression at the supervision of the teacher, not by own student's perceptions of their own skill (which sometimes can be a bit inflated). A professional teacher will advance your skills based on your ability, not solely by what you think is cool.
5) Realize that each person has different goals and reasons for joining a martial arts school. Try not to be surprised when other students don't have the same obsession for the martial arts as you do. We all have different lifestyles, goals, and reasons for bringing martial arts into our lives......try not to "preach" to other students about why they should be as passionate as you.
6) Upon registering at the school, be sure to ask about the uniform and gear-accessory requirements......don't assume that the school will give you free uniforms and accessories. While most schools might give you a uniform on your first day, some schools do not require a specific uniform, or you might have to purchase some or all of the uniform items on your own. Other items, such as sparring gear, training weapons, etc, may likely be your responsibility to purchase through your teacher or through martial arts supply companies. However, some schools that focus on community service or have classes for lower income individuals, may provide some training items free of charge. If you absolutely cannot afford the uniform requirements, don't be afraid to ask about ways to work things out.....good schools are always happy to work with you on making sure your uniform and gear is attainable.
7) Realize that sometimes the classes will be hard or confusing....not every class will be easy. For kids, not every class will be fun and games. Try your best, however don't hesitate to notify the teacher if you start to feel sick due to the physical demands. Don't give up if you don't understand something, and don't be afraid to raise your hand and ask for clarification or help about techniques you don't understand. Keep practicing and you'll find the difficult stuff will get so much easier.
8) Parents: Speaking of "games". Many schools will use games to teach specific skills. These drills and games keep young children engaged and more apt to learn the skills. Remember you are paying for the teacher to teach the skills to your child, not to treat your child like a "mini adult" nor teach your child on your terms. As much as some parents don't like to hear....your child is in the TEACHER'S instruction, not yours. Don't assume that your child has to go through a very strict para-military regimen to learn martial arts. A very young child needs gradual introduction into the discipline of martial arts....don't worry....your child WILL learn about discipline, honor and respect. :) And lastly.....try not to coach your child from the sidelines. That's the teacher's job. :)
9) Be supportive of your classmates but don't be bossy or attempt to "teach", no matter how well you think you know something. Again, that's the teacher's job. Raise your hand and ask the teacher for help if there's any confusion about techniques or self defense movements.
10) New students, would you believe that some people are very afraid of not looking competent on their first day? It is natural to be sort of nervous on one's first day....new class, new people, new things can be sometimes overwhelming. But just know that the more experienced students have been where you are now, and will understand your initial nervousness or concerns. Take a deep breath and dive in....you'll do just fine!

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There are many other things that will make your experience in martial arts a great one, and you'll learn those as you progress. The initial plunge into the world of martial arts may be a whirlwind at first, but you'll definitely see so many benefits within a very short time.

Happy Training!

Ethics, honor, respect: Important aspects not only in Martial arts, but in marketing your martial arts business....

2010-12-27T10:05:00.001-08:00

Marketing....the part of my business I admittedly hate doing. I'm not the type of person that likes to toot my own horn, so many times it feels awkward to "sell" myself. Oh sure, I could hire a marketing and advertisement specialist, but my studio isn't a big name chain that can afford that.

So, you've got a single school and would like to market the school and recruit more students....how do we do that without breaking the bank? Marketing is not merely as simple as putting out glossy print ads, fancy commercials, or using a professional publicist services. Believe it or not, good marketing and building a good reputation is based on a honor, respect, ethics, and a bit of social skills as well. Here are a few simple tips (and a few rants):

1) Word of mouth is always the best spreader of good or bad news. Provide a good curriculum, maintain a friendly yet disciplined atmosphere, train your assistants well, be dedicated to teaching each student to the best of your abilty, and your students will spread the word. On the other hand, if your school is shabby and unfriendly, that news will spread as well.

2) Freebie marketing on social networks: Facebook and Twitter have been great ways that many businesses market their services. However, social networking ettiquette asks that you don't "ego-post" or "flood the network" with only your advertisements.....it would considered "spammy". Poeple on social networks like to see interesting news or material....stuff that makes sense and shows you're human and not money-driven. Of course, making money is part of business, but you don't want to appear greedy either!

Being a Twitter fan, I've seen too many people "Ego Tweet"...only posting their ads,and only RTing ("re-tweeting") people that seem to only benefit THEIR business, ignoring all others if they don't appear to be useful to their own marketing. If someone retweets you, say thank you. Don't be afraid to retweet people that don't even have anything to do with your business...remember word of mouth is important. I've mentioned and RT'd people that have nothing to do with martial arts, and have made wonderful and valuable local networks from seemingly "unrelated " people from across the country..... If you stick to only the people in your niche that are "useful", you've limited your market and it gives you an arrogant appearance on the social media circuit.

3) Remember that nothing a a "waste of your time". If requested to donate a martial arts demonstration for a charity event, children's event or community festival, go ahead and do it....its a good way to get your name out there. Just because you're not being paid for the demo doesn't mean it is a "waste" of your time. If you think so, you've just "wasted" the opportunity to have your school seen and heard by many people, who by the way, may have spread the event via word of mouth. Your loss!

If an event offers to pay your group for a performance, be sure to set a fair price. Remember you're not the only martial arts group in town. And even if you are, if you set too ridiculous a fee, event organizers aren't necessarily going to pay you out of desparation for performers. As your reputation as public performers grow, you'll be surprised at how the events will increase the amount they're willing to compensate you (assuming that it is kept within their budget).

4) If you're a new teacher renting space in another studio, do NOT attempt to steal the studio's students, especially if it is the same category of martial arts you and the other studio is teaching. Many studios will rent their floors during off-hours to new teachers, as the new teachers gain a base to open their own studios. Recruit from outside the Dojo, not from within. If its the established Dojo's students to choose to cross train with you, that's fine (so long as the established head instructor deems it as acceptable), but ettiquette should dictate that you deeply discount the established student's training fee to half or more than half your stated fee, as a token of goodwill and respect for the school who giving you this opportunity. Some new teachers will teach established students for free, so that it motivates them to recuit from outside the school.

5) Professionalism: Carry yourself as a teacher at all times, but do show you're human. You're not perfect so don't act like you are. You don't know everything regardless of your years in practice, so don't look down on students who arent "getting it" yet. Don't attempt to correct other teachers or tell them "better" ways to do things or bad mouth them..., that's just bad form that makes you look arrogant or desparate for upper level recognition.

6) Professionalism II: I've seen people sabotage their own reputation by seemingly "innocent" flirting with students or by speaking to others about their "hot student" or "beefcake new guy". If another teacher was talking to me.....I don't want to hear about how cute you think their student is, how they and a student are "getting along", and I definitely don't want to hear about the tryst they had! They will lose me as a colleague and networking hub if that ever happens.

7) Just because you have the skills, doesn't mean your reputation should instantly be comparable to the big names right away. You should't expect to charge $100 per hour for private lessons just because the well known Gracie JuJitsu teacher in the next town does. It is not merely about the marketing or advertising...its about the blood, sweat, and voluntary hours that the big names had put in to build their reputation. So be patient and do your thing to build your school's reputation. Many people will argue "Well, I should charge a lot of money for my classes so people gain a sense of value about my school". True, I say, but if you're arrogant and lacking in the teacher skills and social skills department and in it only for the money, then congratulations....You've just added the label "McDojo" to your oh-so-elite school!

Surpisingly, a few months ago, I've had parents ask me "When are you going to increase your monthly fees?". I said "What"? And the parents said "Well, you've had the same price for years and years....and given the quality of instruction and attention the teachers give the students, Its only fair that the school is compensated for that!". Wow, they're asking ME to increase the fees! Interesting what building rapport does for building a good reputation.

8) Ditch the "My way or the highway" method of running your business and allow the feedback and assistance of other people. The adage "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself" is very outdated! Yes, you can have "your way" to do things, but if you don't make use of others who are willing to help you, you've just sent a sign that states "I don't trust you", or "You're terrible at this, I'm the only one that can do this right!". That will surely bump a few people off your network.

The "My Way" thing is not an issue of whether someone else can do the job....really, its a issue of you feeling that you've relinquished control and an issue of you not being accepting of change. If you get the same results through a different method will it kill you that "you" didn't do the great job? No it won't. Will it kill you to give kudos to someone else? No it won't. So leave your Ego at the door.

9) Free events: Not every activity or event you have at martial arts studio should cost people money. Although you'd like more students, it makes no sense that they have to pay to see your school. I've seen a few places that won't even allow you to see a class till you sign the contract! Hold periodic free events such as open houses, free women's self defense, children's bully-proofing, etc. This "giving back to community" is a great way to give you and your students the wonderful feeling of giving! :)

Allow the public to attend free of charge, but be sure to not appear to make the "car sales approach" during these events...hard sell tactics, while they may may work for some schools, will make your "free" events just look like disguises for your hard sell tactics. Have brochures available and have "special discounts" available for those who attended your event, but don't bug the attendees. Surprise them by allowing them to enjoy the event without the sales hype....because chances are, somewhere in the back of their mind, they're expecting the sales pitch.

10) Newsletters: Ask if visitors to your school can be added to the newsletter list. When putting out your newsletters, don't forget to include other linterestin local or neighborhood news that is not related to martial arts.....even non-martial-artists will be more prone to read (and pass on) your newsletters.

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It is a fine line between highlighting your strong points and skills, and arrogantly bragging about yourself. Be proud of what you do but knock that chip off your shoulder!

More tips and rants and raves to come as they pop into my head. :)

If it ain't broke...

2010-11-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

Years ago, I bought a brand new Geo Metro after I was involved in an accident that totalled my previous car. The "Little Red Wagon", as I called it, ran like a champ even though it had only 3 cylinders. For the first 2 years, I took all the necessary actions to keep it in tip top shape.....regular oil changes, frequent car washes, checked the belts, kept tire pressures correct, tune up, etc.

As the years went by, I became less and less concerned with the oil changes....I merely added oil as the oil level dropped, but never got an actual oil and filter change. It kept running, and that's all I was concerned about. It was the "if it ain't broke, why fix it?" mentality. In the following 4 years, I think I got an oil change only once each year and a tune up only twice, all the while running it long distances and hauling heavy loads. Needless to say, there came a point where the car started to show its signs of wear....it had a hard time starting, it wouldn't idle (I had to put it in neutral and keep my foot on the accelerator to keep it running), the alternator belt kept squealing, the front end alignment went sour....you get the picture. Then came the day where it just died. I towed the Little red Wagon to a mechanic, and he said "The engine is fried, and its going to cost you some money if you want drop an engine into it, probably more than the car is worth now.".

The "If it ain't broke" mentality finally caught up with the poor car. I knew then, that if I had just taken the time to do the "little things", it would still be running.

Sometimes, we are like that little car. We keep running although we're running low on sleep or food. We try to do too much on our own without asking for help because it might "look weak" or look as if "we don't know what we're doing". We put ourselves through guilt trips when we don't finish a task to our expectations. We become hard on ourselves if we don't make lofty enough goals. Have you been there? I sure have!

There comes a time, however, where all that stress, guilt, overwork, emotional and turmoil, (and sometimes even making more work for ourselves just to feel "productive") catches up with us. The results may range from getting sick to an emotional breakdown. At this point, its too late....there's no going back and saying "I should do this instead"....you're already sick or had undergone a breakdown...too late!

So, how can we keep our own "Little red wagons" running? It is all about keeping mentally and physically "in the game" without feeling that you have to be the coach and player at the same time, and stress reduction is a good way to combat our "engine failure"! Some ideas......

1) Take guilt-free beaks: Even the most important projects need breaks, even if it is something as simple as stepping away from the computer for 5 minutes to do some deep breathing or walking. Don't feel guilt about take a break. In fact, the quality of your work is dependent on a clear head.

2) Practice mindfulness: Take just a few minutes several times a day, to be mindful of yourself. How does it *feel* to breathe? What do you smell, see or even taste around you? What colors draw your eye to them in your surroundings? Meditation is a good mindfullness exercise...sit quietly and pay attention to how your breathe moves and feels within you...feel how you expand and conract. Our "interal" senses are just as important as our external senses.

3) Have fun: Sounds pretty easy, but many people don't choose to find time to have fun. You don't have to go out with friends or have a big party...as long as you do something enjoyable, it is "fun"! When I feel energetically blocked, grumpy, or stressed, I gear up and go for a ride on my motorcycle or do Tai Chi to my favorite Tai Chi music. They're activities that are done solo, but I enjoy them immensely and they do wonders for my state of mind.

4) When overwhelmed, ask for assistance: The old saying "If ya want somethin' done right, ya gotta do it yourself", it so outdated. Not only does it imply that you're the only on the Earth that can do things "right", but it implies that others are incapable. The real issue here is that you want things done "your way". That big office project's success or bake sale's profit doesn't care what your Ego thinks. Asking for assistance is not a sign of weakness. After all, "weakness" is a relative term based on your Ego's perception. Whatever action you might think is "weak" probably works well for the guy down the the street.

5) Speaking of Ego, tell it to take a hike: Our "self" has no inherent importance....we only *think* it does. It is this sense of self-importance that may cause us to make mountains out of molehills. On the other side of the coin, an underactive Ego (or more exactly, low self esteem) makes everything a failure, every word that comes out of our mouth as "wrong", and our efforts "good for nothing." Our Ego, for many of us, stands in the way of allowing us to see things as they really are and prevents us from clear thinking.

6) Eat well, exercise, and get a good night's sleep: Sounds like the usual advice...we've all heard it before...but maybe we've heard it so many times we just don't listen to it anymore. Eating well and getting exercise keeps our metabolisms humming, and getting a good night's sleep re-charges are "batteries". If you're a frequent insomniac, chances are that your mind is too preoccupied, and if your Ego is indeed in the mix, it will make mundane "molehill" thoughts into sleep depriving "mountain" subjects.

6) Take a course in activities that involve mindfulness: Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, martial arts, chess, etc. There are many sports and activities that bring mindfulness to the forefront. These activities involve being aware of "NOW"....not 3 hours from now, tomorrow or next week, but NOW. These respites from our mental chatter are a great buffer in keeping stress related ailments at bay.

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I bought a sports car after selling my poor Little Red Wagon. It doesn't take all that much effort at all to do its regular maintenance. Oh sure, I've had some big ticket expenses with the car, but had to shell out that money so I kept my transportation. Without the maintenance, it doesn't matter how cool the car looks if it doesn't run! If we can commit to fixing our cars, why can't we commit to fixing ourselves? I've had the car for over 10 years now, and she's still running like the day I bought it.

Speaking of which...I should get new windshield wipers tomorrow.

Armchair Warriors, revisited......and judging a book.....

2010-10-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

A few blog posts ago, I posted an entry called "Armchair Warriors and Futon Fighters", which spoke of the pros and cons of learning martial arts solely through media instead of through an instructor. I just want to share an amusing conversation I had with an Armchair Warrior just 30 minutes ago. (statements in brackets and italics are the thoughts that ran through my mind).

A gentleman came in and asked me "What's the difference between Wushu and Tai Chi?" Not a hello, not a "good afternoon", not even an answer to my "How are you today?".

As I started to answer his question, he "gently" interrupted me and said "...Cuz, I'm asking because there IS a difference between Wushu and Tai Chi, you know..."

"Um....forgive me for misunderstanding, but are you asking me about the difference is, or will you be telling me what the difference is?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm asking you what the difference is....'cuz I have a martial arts background and I know what the difference is, and I just want to know if I have it correct...."

"Oh, I see." I said. I proceeded to go through a brief synopsis of the differences between Wushu and Tai Chi, and I didn't get far into the dialogue when the man interjected "....have you heard of pakooah?"

"Yeah, Pakooahchan".

"OH!" I exclaimed. "You mean Bagua Zhang....Yes, I've heard of Baguazhang".

"Yeah, its all about circles, you know....." he answered. I'm thinking of getting into Tai Chi because with all my martial arts experience, I think its time to learn the true meaning of martial arts...."

At this point, he proceeded to "teach" me the meaning of Tai Chi and his style of kung fu. I let him speak for a few minutes till he said.... "then the Dalai Lama brought kung fu to the Shaolin temple..."

I had to interrupt at this point. "You mean "Boddhidharma", right?"

"Yeah, of course....Dalai Lama..."

"Okay, so you're interested in Tai Chi, right? We have two classes....Yang style and Chen style. I suggest that you try a free lesson in each to see which class you'd prefer."

"I'd like the style that teaches the whole combative applications. Because of of the meaning of Tai Chi, I'd like to get into the combative stuff" he said.

"The meaning???" My voice trailed off because I didn't know what he meant by the "meaning of Tai Chi".

"Yeah, in Chinese, Tai Chi means "Great energy", you know. I want to gain that kind of energy...." he answered. (he did NOT use the word "Qi" as part of his translation, did he?)

The conversation went back and forth for another 15 minutes. I was amused by his big confidence in his knowledge, however incomplete it was. Impressed, actually....I was impressed that he was really trying hard to let it be known that he was knowledgeable, I wanted to giggle, actually.

"Well.....I can explain Tai Chi till I'm blue in the face, but I don't want to take up your time, I suggest...-"   I was interrupted by him stating "No, you don't have to, I already know all about it". (don't roll your eyes, Rusty, don't roll your eyes....)

"If you don't mind me by asking, if you know about all about it, why are you looking for Tai Chi?" I asked

..."Cuz I want to learn the forms. I know with my previous background that I'll be able to understand it quicker than the usual beginners and master it quicker...." he answered.

"So....you're looking to be a teacher?" I asked.

"Yeah, I figure in a couple of years I can help teach at a school or teach on my own" he said.
(Oh my Gaaawwd....)

"Taiji isn't something that can be mastered in a mere 2 years, nor is it something that one can deem themselves skillful in, within such a short time, regardless of previous experience..." I said. "Um, Sir, how long, out of curiosity, have you studied?"

He stepped forward a tad bit, folded his arms and said in a proud manner "I don't wanna brag, but I've done martial arts for about as long as you are alive..." (you're kidding ,right??)

"Thank you for the compliment about my age," I said. It was all I was able to say without giggling.

"How about this..." I said. "As I said, I don't want to bore you with the whole history of Tai Chi, why don't you come in and try one of our classes tomorrow night?"

"Well, I'll be around I'm sure, but I'm not going to say I'll be here tomorrow 'cuz it depends on what I'm doing tomorrow.." he said in an indignant manner.   "Who teaches that class?" he asked as he looked through a Tai Chi brochure. "Will I be able to meet the Sifu?"

"Maybe.....So, out of curiosity....how long did you study?"

"Uh, I did Tae Kwon Do when I was a kid, then Hung Gar.."

"How long?"

"6 months Hung Gar" (6 months??)

"With which Sifu? Here in Seattle?"

"Uh, no, I learned from a guy who did Hung Gar and came up with his own style" he said.

"And your Sabumnim?" I asked.

"What's that?" he asked.    (you did Tae Kwon Do and don't know the terminology?)

"And how long in Tae Kwon Do?" I asked

"Same, around 6 months. But I've studied many years on my own, you know. I've studied every book by Bruce Lee". Not everybody knows his own art of Wing Chun that he developed." (Are you serious??)

He continued: "I'll be able to learn from the Sifu, right? 'Cuz I want to learn Tai Chi right, you know. I'm sure you're learning great things too, huh? How long have you been studying with the Sifu?"

I pointed at the "About Restita DeJesus" section on his brochure. "Um....that's me...I teach the Tai Chi classes".

He looked at the brochure, then at me, then back at the brochure. "YOU'RE the Sifu?"   (let the stammering begin)

"You're the teacher?" he asked. "And you teach the Wushu classes too?"

"Interested in our free intro class tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Uh, It depends on what my Monday looks like tomorrow." he replied. "Um, I didn't know you were the Master, I uh....uh..."

"Okay then. Have a great day. I'll see you again soon".   (Cue to leave. Cue to leave.)

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So, I wonder if he'll show up tomorrow night.

Suggestion to martial arts "academics" out there. Its great that you're learning theory and concept from books and videos, but do NOT, I repeat do NOT assume that you can brag to the "office assistant" about your whole 12 months of martial arts classes and academic study done on and off for the past 15 years. Spare yourself the embarrassment of trying to impress the office assistant.

This situation made my day.....very amusing! But all I can do right now is shake my head in pity.

Check out some of my older posts on WordPress

2010-10-06T22:48:00.000-07:00

Its been a sloooow process of moving my blog over to Blogger, but if you'd like to see my older posts from years past, feel free to have a look... https://sifurestita.wordpress.com

Initially, my original blog was on Windows Live Spaces, and Spaces was offering an upgrade to WordPress so I went ahead and made the switch. My old posts will live there till I import them over to Blogger.

Situp and pushups and squats, oh my!

2010-10-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

Around 3 weeks ago, I decided to add to my training routine and take on the "one hundred pushups" challenge. This training program involves following a formulated workout regimen, designed to build your strength to be able to do 100 pushups at once. There are 5 sets that you do, based on the day, and every "week" (not a calendar week, as the workouts are designed for every other day) you take an exhaustion test to determine your next level of workout for the following week. I'm currently at week 3, and so far, doing okay.

On the off days, I've also added "200 squats". At first, I thought it would be relatively easy, since I do martial arts stances and workout every day. However, I was humbled by my initial exhaustion test....40 squats, and my legs started to give out. Goes to show that just because I do martial arts, it doesn't mean that my legs are primed for that type of extended use. I'm looking forward to working my way up to the 200 at a time.

Then, just yesterday, I added the "3000 situps in October", suggested by Twitter friend, @LCTKD. He mentioned he was doing it, and asked who wanted to join in. "Me!! I'm in!" I responded. We managed to get another Twitter mutual friend involved, and also one of my students.

While doing the 100 pushups and 200 squats program is going well, I find that its so much more fun with the 3000 situps in October to have others with you. It is very fun to share our progress online with each other, supporting each other and knowing that we have other friends interested in a common goal. So, I ask the students of my school, Seattle Wushu Center.... "Who's in? Who wants to join us in 3000 situps in October? Its 100 per day, but not necessarily all at once. I'm starting slow, doing them in sets of 25, with a minute rest in between sets. I'd like to get back to being able to do 100 at a time, and I figure I'll be there before October is over. :)

And the pushups and squats....who wants to join me? The pushups and squats programs are here: http://hundredpushups.com/

Meanwhile, this 5 year old Romanian boy is my motivation. 20 "air pushups". Wow. This kid is crazy strong. We'll see him in the Olympics one day, I'm sure of it! http://thebsreport.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/worlds-strongest-boy-5-year-old-breaks-push-up-record/

Okay....who's in? come on....join us for the fun of fitness! I'm here in Sacramento right now visiting family, and it doesn't take a noticeable time away from the visiting at all. In fact, while my sister is doing her daily workout with her DVD's, I've been doing mine. Let's do this!

Armchair Warriors and Futon Fighters.

2010-09-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine suggested a subject for one of my blog posts..... "is YouTube killing regular martial arts classes at bona fide schools?" I liked the idea, but I want to expand on the idea a bit.

I would say....YouTube doesn't kill martial arts class schools. I am not saying that videos can replace a good instructor and classmates. If done correctly, a school's YouTube videos can recruit more students. Videos can be a good reference for students who are already familiar with a particular art. A good video can be a "video notebook" if a student learned a form and forgot how to do a transition or forgot the exact angle of a form technique.

The issue here is not "is YouTube decreasing martial arts class attendance". The real issue is "Are video viewers thinking they can learn martial arts from a video, without a real instructor?"

I've met some people that claim to know martial arts, having learned from videos and books. Upon seeing such people display their skill, it is glaringly obvious that they learned from media instead of a good teacher. I've even heard of "practice groups" where members (with no actual experience under an instructor) will get together, watch videos or study books, then gather together to practice, spar, or even bout with swords!

Now, its one thing if you live out in the boondocks somewhere and cannot access a school. I would venture to say that if online videos are all you have, then videos would be a good initial exposure. It is when individuals think their skill is growing just because they've memorized a bunch of techniques or forms from video, that it becomes a "iffy" thing.

I see this a lot at an online discussion forum that I frequent or am a moderater for. "I want to do martial arts, but there are no schools near me. Can anyone help?" Usually, as a service, I'll research the location of schools near the forum member's location....and most times, I'll find schools within 25 miles. When I list these schools on a follow up post, and give hints on what to expect or what gear to purchase if they attend the school, I hear all sorts of stuff. Here's just a sampling of stuff I've heard, and my responses to them.

- - "I want to do Kendo, not Karate or Tae Kwon Do. The nearest Kendo Dojo is too far from me"
* It wouldn't hurt to get some training in *any* martial art, be it Karate or Tae Kwon Do. It will allow you to learn about body movement and coordinated technique. Ask the Tae Kwon Do teacher if they offer Kumdo, the Korean equivalent to Japanese Kendo. When you do find a Kendo Dojo, see if you can attend once a week to start. Or ask if they offer private lessons. You won't make progress as quickly, but at least you'd learn something.

-- MMA is the BEST! I want that, not wimpy Chinese stuff" (really, someone posted that)
         *See this post: (link to the post that has the smae comment in the above paragraph... "it wouldn't hurt to get some training in *any* martial art...." And by the way....a round kick in MMA is the same as Kung Fu's. Chinese arts have "Shuai Jiao"....grappling and throwing...and its just as hard pounding as MMA. Please refrain from calling an art "wimpy" until you research it.

-- "What do you mean I gotta spend $300 to $500 on a beginner's set of Kendo equipment? Can't the Dojo just let me borrow theirs?"
         * Wow, really? You really want to do Kendo but not willing to invest in the art? You shouldn't depend on the dojo to give you bogu to "borrow". Bogu should be fit specifically to YOU. Besides, the thought of wearing a Men that a bunch of other people sweated in, doesn't sound like fun.

-- "$65 bucks a month....too expensive. Any dojos that have classes for under $30 per month?"
   *$50 to $150 per month at an established school, is the average tuition fee, depending on how many classes you attend per week. If cost is really an issue, try your local YMCA or see if an established school has sliding scale fees. Offer to work at the Dojo as part of your tuition payment, they might take you up on it if it suits both you and the school"

-- "I want the best art that can kill people quickly, like in the , I don't want some traditional art that won't do anything"
   *You're not going to learn how to kill people from videos. And do you really believe everything you see on cracked.com?

-- "I'm good at following videos, why would I need to pay money to someone to learn what I can easily follow on the video?"
      *A good teacher has gone through rigorous and serious training to be able to become a teacher. They have the experience. Tuition itself doesn't pay the teacher, because really, there's no price you can pay for the teacher's experience. The tuition pays for the facility you're in, and the school's bills. Your tuition helps you be able to be in a place where trained teachers can instruct you. You wouldn't expect to learn open heart surgery online and for free, would you? You NEED a skilled eye (instead of one's own overconfident eyes) to correct your mistakes and be a physical example for you."

-- "I'm learning from a friend of mine who studies . He's done it for 2 years so I trust him"
    * Two years is not enough experience for someone to teach. He's still learning himself, so how can he teach you? If anything, what will happen is that you'll end up just being as good as he can teach. And if he can't teach well, then you're not doing anything except for imitating him.

You'll notice that comments such as those listed above, are comments that really mean:

"I want free martial arts training and I don't want to travel"

"I don't want to invest in the gear and accessories...I just want to learn the cool stuff."

"I want to be able to fight and possibly kill people, but I don't want to work for it"

If you really want to learn martial arts, find a way or a means to do so....and be ready for some hard work and even eating some humble pie. Videos and books are great tools for your training, but not a replacement. Once you've practiced a long time at one martial art, you'll find that your understanding of another martial art is easier to grasp, but even then, videos and books should be used as reference, not replacement for good instruction. you might even find that when you get into another art, you'll be working just as hard as your other art.

So in a nutshell, it is not the video sites out there that are preventing people from attending real martial arts classes. It is the attitudes of the viewers. They *think* they can learn from videos. And 9 times out of 10, one's perception of their own skill is greater than their actual skill. If you want You can't get good at any martial art without hard work and possibly taking a few lumps.

If you want to study martial arts and become good at it, don't settle for being an "armchair warrior" or a "futon fighter".

*******************************

See this Yahoo! question and answer session for more comments about this very subject:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100303080033AA2nvzG

Can't vs. Won't

2010-09-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

Teaching very young children martial arts can sometimes be a challenge....not only must instructors make each activity in class an age-appropriate activity, but we must also be open to a child's attention span, mood changes and learn how to deal with mood swings in a firm yet caring manner. However, the benefit of teaching children, is the many lessons you will learn for yourself while you teach them. :)

One day in my "Tiny Tigers" class (3 to 4 year old kids), we were doing a drill called "pop-up". When a child's name is called, they are to "pop-up" from a seated position and do 2 reps of whatever movement they were taught earlier in the class. After a few rounds, one of the children "Jack", did not pop up when his name was called.

"Jack, aren't you going to pop up and show us your great front kick?"

Jack flopped backwards onto his back as a couple of other kids giggled. "I can't...." he said as his voice trailed off.

"I think you can..." I replied. "You do so well on your front kick. Wouldn't you like to show how strong your front kick is?"

"I can't do it...." Jack said. His voice was a touch shy of being a whine, but he didn't whine.

"Why not, Jack?" I asked.

".....'Cuz I can't...". Jack's father urged "C'mon buddy, you can do it".

"But I can't". Jack said. Odd. Jack was always so good at his front kicks. He started to squirm around on his back, just as little children do as they awaken from a short nap. "I can't do it.".

So as to keep the class going, I asked "Okay, that's fine. But do you remember what you have to do when you are not participating?"

"Uh huh....I sit next to mommy or daddy quiet and not talk...."

"What else?" I asked.

"I gotta ask to join the class when I'm ready..."

"That's right, now go sit down quietly".

After another few minutes of the pop up game, I gave all the kids a short break to get some water. As the kids clamored to their bags to get their water, I saw Jack on the corner of the floor, doing side kicks. I grinned....I thought that maybe Jack just needed a break and now he's back on task.

"Jack! That's a really cool side kick! Can you show me your front kick as cool as your side kick?"

He flopped to the ground. "I can't" he said. I tried to help him up, but he flopped more, make himself heavier.

I reminded him, "Jack, if you cannot participate today, you'll have to go home with Daddy and not do Martial Arts today...."

"But I wanna stay..." He protested.

"Well, sit here a few minutes and we'll see if you can stay on task in a bit", I answered.

After break was over, I got out the "big kids" kicking shield for side kick practice. "Okay! Time for side kicks!, everybody ready for side kicks?"

"Yes Sifu!!" the class shouted. Including Jack. He shouted "Yes Sifu" too. I cocked my head and gave him a grin.

"Jack, what do you say?"

"Uh....Sifu, I'm ready now. Can I come in?"

Jack's father grinned "Go on, and listen to Sifu"

Jack did great for his side kicks....they were pretty strong too! He also did great with his inward blocks and evasive techniques for the rest of class.

As I reflected on the class afterward, I realized that Jack had probably reached an important milestone....the ability to recognize that he can make choices for himself. It wasn't that Jack *couldn't* do front kicks... it was just that he *chose* not to do them. I don't know if he just didn't feel strong at them that day, or if he just didn't find them interesting , but he made the choice not to do them. The only thing was, he didn't quite know the difference between the words "Can't" and "Won't". He didn't quite understand that the word "can't" didn't indicate a physical inability (he's done front kicks before), he said "can't" because he simply didn't *want* to do front kicks. Although he made choices that day based on "acceptance" and "refusal", he simply didn't have the concept of what "won't" meant, or what "refusal" meant.

We, as adults, sometimes do this as well. However, as adults, we should be able to understand the difference between "not being able" / "not knowing how", and "not wanting to". The lines between our choices aren't quite as blurred as they are when we were children. However, when we say "Can't", we tend to apply the word to our lack of understanding of something or to when we feel we're not up to par with our own expectations or expectations of others. Before you blurt out the word "Can't", do a quick mental note of why you "can't". Is it that you just aren't skilled enough? Is it that you don't understand? Is it that you're not trusting your judgment? Is your intuition telling you to hold off till later? Do you feel that you'll be embarrassed if you don't look good in the eyes of others?

No matter what the reason, get to know what that reason is before your say "can't". Yes, it is your choice to engage or not....but try not to use the word "can't" when you really mean "I choose not to", "I'm not interested", or "I'm not quite up to par yet". Choose the words that accurately reflect your position. The word "Can't", for many of us big kids, can easily turn into a convenient excuse if we don't check ourselves.

Want to know how to get "Can't" to turn into "Can"? Its simple.....try.. Everyone is capable of "can", albeit at a lesser degree than our expectations. To meet those expectations, we just have to keep plugging along.

I have to disagree with Yoda on his quote "Do or do not, there is no try". "Try" does mean a path to "do", assuming that we're committed to the task. Not everyone is born as a Jedi Knight, after all. :)

A favorite fable from the Philippines, "The upo plant"

2010-09-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

When I was a child, I remember hearing fables that taught moral lessons. Many of these stories were very amusing, but taught great lessons, such as the stories of "Juan Tamad" (Lazy John), which describe the consequences of laziness or making too many excuses. The following fable, however, has always been a favorite:

The Upo Plant *

Once upon a time a wild specie of the upo plant grew in the garden of Tandang Teban. When the old man saw the growing plant, he carefully entwined the stem around a small bamboo post to make a trellis for the plant.

The plant did not like the idea of the old man. It wanted to grow freely like any other plant. So the plant talked to the wind.

"Mang Hangin! Magkaibigan tayo, di ba²? Look at me," the plant pleaded. "I am a mere slave of Mang¹ Teban. I need your help. I want to grow freely like the grasses and the plants around me. Look at the banana, the rose, the sampaguita³, and the other plants in this yard. They are free. So my friend, I beg you to blow hard and loosen the tie around my body till it breaks."

"Your request is not just," replied the wind, "but if that is what you like, I will do what you please." So the wind blew hard. It blew hard some more, thus breaking the knot around the body of the upo.

"Thank you," said the upo gratefully. The vine then crawled freely on the ground.

Just then a dog that was looking for a piece of bone came along. The dog stepped heavily on the small vines and was able to find the bone. In taking the bone away, the dog also carried a part of the vine to a far distance. The poor plant not only became short; every part of it was damaged.

When Tandang Teban visited his upo plant next morning, he saw the poor state of the plant. At once he tied the plant to a thin bamboo post. The plant drew a deep sigh of relief.

After a few days, Mang Teban arranged a trellis for the upo to sling its vines on. The plant blossomed. The leaves gave shade while the flowers and fruits gave joy to those who saw them.

One time the wind blew hard and played with the leaves of the upo. The plant requested the wind to blow softly so that the plant would not fall down.

"When you were still maliit, you asked me to set you free from the bamboo post so you may crawl freely on the ground," the wind replied. "Now you request me to spare you. YOu sound funny indeed."

"I had an unforgettable experience," said the upo. "I know now that all creatures have their own ways of living on earth. Experience is the best teacher."

---------------------------

* Upo is a common gourd vegetable in the Philippines, that if left to grow, can reach very large sizes. The dried shells of the gourd may be fashioned into utensils, bowls, flutes, and smoking pipes, just to name a few uses. I still enjoy upo in the hearty "pinakbet" stew whenever the local Asian store has it in stock. Especially delicious in Filipino fish stews. :)

1. "Mang" is considered a contraction of the respectful title "Manong", which is formally used as a title for older male relatives. (for women, the title is "Manang"). Nowadays, "Mang" is commonly used in place of the word "Mister", especially in reference to those who are older.

2. Roughly translates as ""Mister Wind! We are friends, aren't we?"

3. The "Sampaguita" is the national flower of the Philippines. My mother used to tell my sister and I about the beauty of the flower, and how the scent of a Sampaguita field can be smelled for miles . Mom told us that oil made from the flowers is used as a rub for headaches and migraines, and that the flower is used for Jasmine tea in China.

"Make way! Make way for the King!": How to deal with conceited people

2010-09-22T17:11:00.000-07:00

We've all met people like this at least once. The types of people that think they're "all that". The ones that think the world revolves around them. The people that assume others are in their service. The people that revel in the knowledge that they're handsome, beautiful, smart, tough, or powerful. The people that make it very much obvious that you should feel blessed to be in their wonderful presence.

My friend told me a story about an incident at her apartment where another resident parked a junker car in my friend's assigned parking space. My friend left a note in the resident's mailbox....not a rude note, but one that asked very nicely for the resident to move the car so that she could park in her own assigned spot. This is where the proverbial sh*t hit the fan. The resident called the police and made a fuss about my friend threatening her, demanding my friend be arrested, and other ridiculous claims.

My friend is the type of person that doesn't like to cause or deal with conflict. so this is a hard situation as the other woman taunts her with phrases like "I'm not moving my car, what are you going do about it?" and "Its not over yet, Bitch". It has gotten to the point where my friend peeks out her door before leaving her own apartment, afraid that the other woman is waiting around, to taunt her more. The other resident has even gone so far as to rally other neighbors on her side, by padding the story, making my friend out to be the evil one. They gather around and laugh at my friend as she tries to find a place to park her car. They make it known that they're in control, and that everything works on their terms.

After hearing my friend's story, I was saddened. I too was there many times, tiptoeing around people not to cause conflict. I knew what it was like to have my self respect shattered to the point where I actually thought I was less than what I really was. I thought about how I allowed it to happen, and though about the hard work I put into patching my confidence and self respect. "You shouldn't have to live like this...." I asked my friend. "Where's the apartment manager in all this?"

"I don't know. I think I'm just going to move to another apartment. I think she waits for me every day to let me know there's nothing I can do about it...." she replied.

"...But then you'll let her take more of your power if you move..." I said.

She looked at me in a puzzled look. "This woman knows you're avoiding her." I added. "She knows she's got people on her side....she doesn't care that her side of the story is all lies. She's an energy-hog, and it seems that she thrives on the knowledge that she has power. But, the power isn't hers....its YOURS. She's taken your personal power. And, the more you feed it with your fear, with your checking if she's out there before you leave for work, when you avoid eye contact with her and rush away, you give her more power....and, feel more and more drained in the process".

Being that my friend is humble and non-aggressive, I continued with this comment: "I'm not talking about you turning into a hard-shelled "don't mess with me" person,... that's not what I mean about "power" here. Any amount of self-respect, confidence, and feelings of security you have, that's your power. You've allowed her to take a lot of it.....trick is, to gain it back."

"...But how do I not give it away? How can I get it back from this arrogant conniving lady?" my friend asked.

In a nutshell, this is what I suggested, to deal with self-absorbed energy hogs:

Establish your boundaries. Know just how far energy hogs can approach before you start feeling that your space is being infringed upon. When they cross that boundary, it is time to nicely, but firmly, remind them not to "walk on the grass". Don't make the boundary too big, or you'll appear stand-offish. Don't make the boundary too small either, because you'll feel all the negativity, arrogance, and self-absorbed behavior in a big rush, and you'll get overwhelmed.
When your boundaries are breached, stand firm. Many times, a person who doesn't like conflicts, will allow their boundaries to be infringed upon, just so that the other person doesn't get angry. Well, where does that leave you? It leaves you frustrated and angry, and hiding these emotions just to avoid conflict, is not healthy for your emotional self. Mentally keep your boundaries at a clear line, and try not to convince yourself that making your boundary "smaller" makes you "braver".
Know that most arrogant people are looking for attention to be on them...regardless if it is positive or negative attention. This is where they feel powerful....they feel empowered by their ability to generate attention. There may or may not have self esteem issues, or they might feel that something is missing in their personal or emotional lives. Regardless of the reason, it is attention they seek. Know that there is some type of underlying reason why they are the way they are.
Don't settle for being in the shadow of their self-made pedestal. Allow yourself to be their equal. This doesn't mean to be as conceited as they are, but as long as you abdicate your position to a much lower one, they will drain more and more of your personal power. Know that they are people too....albeit overly egotistical people. This will level the playing field a little bit.
Keep calm and keep your attention on your own well being. If you give attention to these types of self-absorbed people, you'll place less attention on your own needs, thereby, "giving away your power". If you get angry, this is what some energy hogs thrive upon.
Let trusted people know of your concerns, especially if the arrogant person is making you fearful. It may sound counter-productive, as having other people know about the situation will give more "attention" to the arrogant energy-hog. But, having other people support you is helpful. Be sure to not follow the energy-hog's behavior by not padding your story and sticking to the facts.
Keep your circle of influence a positive one. Your "circle of influence" is our network of people that are upbeat, positive, good listeners, and willing to share positive information in areas of personal life, workplace, etc. These are people that support and respect your personality, likes, dislikes, etc. If you have more "good influence" and less "bad influence" (in this case, an arrogant, petty, and vengeful neighbor), then hopefully, the bad influence will take a backseat to the the positive influences.
Know that its okay to stand your ground. You don't permission from the energy-hog anyone to stand your ground and do what is necessary to keep your personal power. For every time you don't stand your ground to prevent conflict, you give away more of your personal power.
As well as personal and emotional space, keep your energetic space (on more of an aesthetic and metaphysical note): Keep your energetic "bubble" as confident and "warm" as you can. Your energetic space is one that is yours alone, and you're the only one that can make the choices as to who enters your space and contributes to it. Continue to be focused on your own well being, and allow your energetic space be a part of your safe-haven....protect it ardently.

Remember that no matter what the conceited person thinks of you, only you know the truth about how you really are. Try not to allow the conceited person to drain you of your self respect and don't allow their self-inflated egos to destroy your well being.

My friend now is confident, that if she does move from her apartment, that its based on her own decision, instead of being forced out by an arrogant bully. I only hope, that her personal power continues to be gained back from the bully, and continues to grow by leaps and bounds.

"What's in it for me"?- -Self absorption: Saturated in your own junk.....

2010-09-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

Leave Ego aside. If we are too self absorbed,

we become like a wick saturated in our own oil,

yet not letting others light the lamp.

This results in functional, yet useless lamp.

Okay, I'll admit....I've been guilty of "self absorption". We all are self absorbed to some degree or another. Thinking about our own needs and desires is a motivating factor to keep us plugging along and going forward with our goals and aspirations. This is good! If we lose that sense of self-importance that motivates us, we would sit around and become stagnant. However sometimes we all go through phases where the self-absorption begins to turn too severe selfishness. When we forget about everything else and make the world revolve around us, we miss out on a lot of things.

During a self-reflection after one of my usual meditation sessions a few months ago, I came upon the realization that a period of time had been based around my self-absorption, instead of what I really *am*. Common thoughts in my head during this time were "What's in it for ME?" "How do I benefit?" "What do I get if I do this or that?". I found myself getting frustrated or impatient when things weren't happening fast enough.

As I arose from my meditation bench, I asked myself several things:

1.What do I truly enjoy in life and with other people?

2. What exactly are the needs, goals, and desires that I need for myself?Whtat do I feel is "missing"?

3. What do I consider as "reward"? Will the world end if I don't get the exact rewards I seek?

4. Can I still be able to share with others, and still attend to my needs, goals, and desires?

Do you find yourself frequently asking things like "What's in it for me?", "How will this benefit me? What can I get if I agree to that?". Granted, I run a business and I "should" be asking these questions to benefit my business. But I'm not talking about finding ways to market my business or finding opportunities for the benefit of my business. I'm talking about doing things merely for the benefit of my Ego. I'm talking about manifesting things only if we're guaranteed some type of reward, money, or recognition. I'm talking about only paying attention to activities or people only if they have a role in benefitting our Ego and personal gains.

Let's ask ourselves.....When was the last time we manifested something wonderful for *other people* other than ourselves? When was the last time we enjoyed helping others without the expectation of reward? When was the last time we willingly gave your time instead of feeling that we wasted it? When was the last time we accepted a long line at the bank or something breaking down instead of getting upset that the world isn't doing our bidding at the time we demand it? When was the last time we asked how the other person was doing before talking about our own things?

Also, let's listen to ourselves....in any situation, listen to how many times the word "I" comes into thoughts. If we find ourselves always asking "What's in it for me??", acknowledge it and think about your next step. Think outside your box and see things from the outside looking in. Think about the other person and/or their situation as well. I'm not saying that we should sell oursevles short....on the contrary.... I'm just saying "Get your Ego out of the equation". Or...."Get your head out of your...." Well, you get the picture.

Although I never outwardly and rudely asked out loud "What's in it for me?" whenever situations or opportunities arose, I did find myself thinking it a lot. Things became motivating factors only if there was reward. For a bit of time, I lost a little bit of who I really was and I didn't notice I was doing it. I decided to re-invest my time in doing what I enjoy and sharing with others....all the while still attending to my needs and goals. I remembered that giving away my time was not necessarily "wasting" it. I remembered that the world wouldn't end if I didn't get rewards all the time. I remembered the joys of knowing that great people are blessings in our midst, not merely network spokes on the benefit hub.

We all can benefit from toning down our self-absorption.......You might be surprised that when we give ourselves for the greater good of others, the benefits we seek show up on their own.

Pom-Poms and Positive Purpose....

2010-09-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

All of us has "cheerleaders" for ourselves and our group of sub-personalities.....but, do your cheerleaders motivate YOU to play at your best, or do the cheers prompt you to boo the other team?

I remember going to Football and Basketball games in High School. As a member of the marching band, we attended the games to provide music for half-time and to accompany the cheerleaders in the "fight songs". The cheerleaders were so peppy....I wondered how those gals ever mustered up the energy to do all shouting and jumping and dancing for hours.

I remember our crowds at games shouting cheers along with our cheer squad, and our band would blare out the "Charge!" tune, our fight songs and other tunes to motivate our teams to play hard and win big. During basketball games, our band would frequently blare our horns and pound the drums with the opposing team was at the free-throw line, hoping the noise would make the opposing team "brick" a shot. Our band would sometimes play the "neener-neener" tune when the other team would miss a shot or if the other team missed a touchdown pass. We would boo the other team if they celebrated a goal, or we would call the referees "blind" if a call was made against our team. If we werere winning, we'd gloat and make it known.....if we were losing, we were sometimes brutal to the other team.

But, on hindsight, you know what I noticed? The cheerleaders themselves NEVER boo'd the other team. They never prompted us to make noise to mess up a free thow, they NEVER prompted us to curse the other team or other coach. They just led cheers to motivate OUR team. When our teams scored, the cheerleaders cheered, if the other team scored, they would just shout "That's alright! Bring it back!". Meanwhile, the rest of us non-cheerleaders would curse, throw things, and do everything short of wishing a lightning strike on the opposing team, just so we would win. All that negative behavior never changed the fact that the other team was focused and playing well. In fact, all our cursing and shouting at the other team took away the important element....cheering on our OWN team. The cheer squad sometimes told us to be nice, but we were being the die-hard fans that wanted victory just the same, and we continued to boo the other team. In the end, our favorite team, the football team, ended up winning one game of the season, in what was dubbed the "Basement Bowl". One game for the season. Wow. What a disappointment.

--------------------------------------------------

Whether it is martial arts, your career, or whatever other activity you'd like to "win", we all have "cheer squads"....those inner voices that keep us moving toward our goal, those motivating factors that keep us plugging on and going forward. However, be sure to check your attitude at the door! If you're doing well, then celebrate! However don't place blame on other people or make excuses for your shortcomings or perceive failures. Just concentrate on playing well and playing hard! Accept a loss, and learn what you need to do to make the next "game" successful. Remember, each time a losing team gets upset and places blame and animosity toward the the winning team, the losing team just sits there wallowing in "we suck, we need to win next time!", while the other team is back in practice sessions, getting better and perfecting their play.

Let your cheerleaders motivate you, but don't use them as an excuse to blast the other team. Alright, team, get out there and GO!!!

Let me hear you yell Go Go!

Let me hear you yell Fight Fight!

Let me hear you yell Win Win!

Let me hear you yell Go, fight, win!

Physical Conditioning & Emotional Conditioning

2010-09-07T17:01:00.000-07:00

From: www.hardcore-stress-management.com

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." - Victor Frankl

I attended a recent 4 day seminar with Grandmaster Chen Zhenglei, hosted by my teacher, Sifu Yijiao Hong. During the 4 days of training, most of us who attend all 4 days had sore legs from the stance work. Some of us (myself included) even had soreness in the shoulders and torso. On the final day of the seminar, Master Chen asked "Are you sore? Legs sore?" The class chuckled, and we all took a quick mental note of how our bodies felt. Many of us groaned at our sore quadriceps, and joked that we should "finally admit it".....so we said, "Yes, Laoshi!". Byron, our leader for warmups, asked Master Chen, "Laoshi, what shall we do for the leg pain?" Grandmaster smiled, and said "PRACTICE MORE!"

A great lesson. I guess we were expecting a response akin to Qigong healing or stretching, but Grandmaster told us plain and simply: "Practice more". Upon telling my massage practitioner about this amusing exchange, my therapist said "Yes, it allows for the lactic acid to get flushed out, but its the cool down exercises after the workout that are important." ¹

^{As it turns out, Tai Chi can help increase muscle endurance because of its slow and controlled movements that activate the slow twitch muscles. ² Do a Tai Chi workout, then not do it again for days or weeks in the same fashion, and you lose the benefits and get sore all over again. The long term practice is where we gain the benefits. After all, it is not the *techniques* themselves that cause the soreness, it is the body's reaction to the exercise. If we're not conditioned to a hard workout, of course out bodies will balk and be sore.}

^{As I was on the massage table at my therapist's office, I realized that this lesson applies to not just our physical conditioning, but our emotional conditioning as well. If we were to consider emotions such as anger, greed, frustration, worthlessness, etc, as "Pain", then we could, theoretically, apply Grandmaster's lesson to our emotional lives.}

^{We will use "anger" as an example. Anger is a secondary emotion, and is for some, a knee-jerk reaction to some other "primary" emotion (disappointment, embarassment, feeling pressured, etc).}^{Often, it may a reaction to the primary emotion of "fear", or the anger might stem from an emotional need or desire that has not yet been fulfilled. If we acknowledge what the primary emotion is, and ask ourselves what we can control about the situation (if we're feeling out of control of it), and what our options are, we can think a bit more clearly about the situation and decide whether or not the anger is worth expending energy on. When we can think clearly, we can carry on .}

^{Most people will one of three things when confronted by negative emotion: Run from the stimulus, tackle it head on (i.e. feel the anger and act upon it), or go around it to move forward. Some people would say that options 1 and 2 are negative responses, and the 3rd is the best choice. However there are some things to consider:}

^{If you're going to run, don't run backward. Try not to delve into you past and make this current situation a repeat of a long gone past experience. Take time off to cool off, then get back to the situation and address it with a clear head.}
^{If you're going to tackle it, don't tackle it all at once. Get angry will not change the situation, and we all are too familiar with the blindness that anger brings. Remember, in order to move a boulder from your path, you have to chip away at it with the right tool.....a paper clip isn't going to do the job, you must have a pick-axe or similar tool. With a clear head, you can better choose the right tools.}
^{If you go around it, be sure you aren't just avoiding it. If you just go around it and leaving the "obstacle" there, it will still be there. Acknowledge the "obstacle", observe it as you go around and take mental notes as to how you can clear the path. After all, if you leave the obstacle, then you leave it for someone else.....how lazy does that sound?}

^{Remember, in the case of anger, it is not situations or words that make us angry, it is our reaction to them. For some, emotions are based on past experiences. Some people tend to attach a situation that similar to a past experience, and react with an outburst exactly as they did during the past experience. Many times, these outbursts will be out of context with the current situation, but the pattern happens anyway.}

^{So, how do deal with these negative patterns and thought processes? PRACTICE MORE. Stay with the situation, let it play out while you acknowledge your primary emotion to the situation or try to figure out what similar past experience is making your negative reaction happen. It takes PRACTICE.}

^{Anger, despite it negative connotation, does have its good purpose....it is a mechanism for survival....the body's response is to fill the body with the energy to deal with a "fight or flight" situation. Its a mechanism that evolved so that we, as primitive humans in eons past, could use to defend ourselves or our tribes. But if we use it out of context, we sure would look silly wielding our clubs against a wild animal that isn't even there!}

^{Practice more. Stick with it. As Grandmaster says, it will condition your body and make things easier. Increase your emotional endurance. Even the most healthy body with great physical endurance, will not be useful if our emotion endurance is weak.}

^{And by the way....did I mention....we should practice more.}

^{And before I forget.....don't forget to practice more. :)}

1. Forum thread on "active recovery: http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/diet-bodybuilding/what-can-flush-out-lactic-acid-muscles-owwwwwww-473883.html
2. Tai Chi or jogging for lower body conditioning: http://www.ideafit.com/fitness-library/tai-chi-or-jogging-lower-body-conditioning

The lesson of the Hummingbird

2010-09-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

This wonderful article written by Eknath Easwaran in 1990, is a great lesson in how we may live. Food for thought......http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC26/Easwaran.htm

The fable of the two wolves...

2010-08-26T15:04:00.001-07:00

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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I've thrown many a juicy steak to the Evil Wolf.....it approaches with snarling teeth, then snatches the food and runs. Why feed a snarling wolf in the first place? If you have to throw the steak to avoid getting your hand bitten off, what's the point?

On the other hand, if I feed the Good Wolf, I've noticed that the Good Wolf nuzzles my hand before gently taking food, then hangs out for a while, sitting at my feet. There is no fear when feeding a creature that trusts you.

Which Wolf do YOU feed?

Change....the only constant.....

2010-08-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

"Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don't want to believe that. But if you're over age twenty-one, your life is what you're making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities." - John C. Maxwell

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As the quote says, "some people don't want to believe that".

When I was in my 20's, "change" was something I hated. I was, in my mind, in control of everything in my life. When anything changed, be it a slight change to my work schedule even a change in plans for a vacation, I felt the need to "control" the situation again. Granted, I was able to make the necessary changes to my schedules or whatever it may have been, but I wasn't necessarily happy with it.

The biggest change I underwent, was quitting my job in order to run a martial arts school full time. I was scared....."Quit my job? Are you insane?". In my heart, I knew that committing 100% of my efforts to my new school would be the way to start the marketing and find new students to pay the rent. But, in my mind, I was fighting my refusal to quit my job. I tried to find all sorts of excuses to keep my safety and security of my job, while trying to run a full time school. In the end, I took the plunge, quit my job, and never looked back. The first year of not having that secure income from my job, was very scary. I made use of "101 ways to prepare Top Ramen", and I thought about getting another job. But I knew that if I didn't commit myself and make it work, that my dream of having a full time school would go up in smoke. I was blessed to have a supportive business partner that sometimes had to bring me out of my silent balking at such a big change in my life.

That was in 1991, and in the past 19 years I've learned through trial and error, that change is a much needed thing in order to grow. Change provides us with a different way of looking at things, a fresh method of applying our skills or knowledge, and sometimes, change can bring about challenges that make us buckle down and really think about our next course of action. Change allows us to transform from what we "were", to what we "can become". Change allows us to look at things from the outside-looking-in, instead from our self-absorbed egos. Resistance to change, however, can most times prevent us from realizing our true potential and making meaningful changes to our lives.

Lately, I've realized that change is not necessarily just an outward thing, nor is change a radically different situation or attitude than what I'm used to. I've realized, that over the years, I had changed my outward attitude just to cover up my "inward attitude" (interests and goals that have been put on the backburner). Once I realized that my interests and future goals are not going to completely "change" me into a different person (that, was my fear), nor my friends think I'm crazy for having the interests that I do (another fear!), I was able to "change" yet again, and let go of the fear. What a liberating and transforming experience! This "loosening of the binds", makes me more aware of life's purpose, and made me think a bit more about life's priorities. Life is about choices....we can either make the wrong choices, learn from them and move on, or not pay attention to our choices at all and blame the world for our shortcomings or take credit for the successes. No matter what, our choices and changes determine how we make life out to be.

Sound off!....Have you ever been in that state where "change" was something you resisted? Did you manage to get used to "change"? What was scary about "change"? How did it make you feel? How have you changed?

Fable: "The wise healing sage"

2010-07-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who saw he was a sage and told him of a sick child nearby. She beseeched him to help this child. The sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a man was a rare sight. One woman brought the sick child to him, and he said a prayer over her.
"Do you really think your prayer will help her, when medicine has failed?" yelled a skeptical man from the crowd.
"You know nothing of such things! You are a stupid fool!" said the sage to the man.

The man became very angry with these words and his face grew hot and red. He was about to say something, or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said: "If one word has such power as to make you so angry and hot, may not another have the power to heal?"

And thus, the sage healed two people that day.

-Author unknown

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"Thank You", the phrase that pays.....

2010-07-20T09:27:00.001-07:00

I was coming out of the grocery store last night, and as I hit a parking lot bump, my potato rolls jumped out of a bag and hit the pavement. A teen walking the other way stopped short, picked up the rolls and said "Here you go, Ma'am", tipped his baseball cap and started to walk away.

"Ma'am? Hat tip?" I thought. "Wow. From a teen, even!".

"Thank you so much!" I said with a grin. Just then, I thought, "Wow..."thank you" is a word that has been ingrained to be an automatic response. Did I say it out of reflex, or did I say it because I meant it?"

I did mean it. I was more thankful seeing a teen, all decked out in teen fashion, using "Sir" and "Ma'am", tipping his baseball cap like days of yore, than thankful about my potato rolls. Potato rolls are a dime a dozen.....seeing such formality and manners with teens, is a jewel! I thanked that kid, not for preserving my rolls, but for renewing my faith in youth manners that I thought was slowly being lost.

I think he knew my "thank you" was heartfelt and sincere....at least I hope so! However... some people have a hard time saying thank you. Have you met people like that?

Some of us have different reasons why we might have a hard time saying "Thank You", but consider this....

A student of mine quoted an an acquaintance of his as once harshly saying "The word 'sorry' is the most overused word in the friggin' English language, get over the sorry part and start doing!" Well, you know why its so overused? Because some people *expect* the word "sorry" to be payment for a perceived affront....those same people don't use or choose not to use the words "thank you" enough to acknowledge the other's willingness to acknowledge their mistake.

Get off the ego high horse...no one really *owes* you the word "sorry". It would be one thing if you loaned a friend your lawnmower, and the friend accidentally broke it by running over a hidden rock or tree root. Yes they might have broke it, and yes the right thing to do is for them to apologize and maybe offer to fix it or buy you a new one. But really, they don't *owe* you anything if it was an accident. Would you demand the same apology from yourself if YOU broke the mower under same accidental circumstances? Why is it that you'd let yourself slide yet demand the World from your friend?

If you see the world in extreme black or white, or if you demand the world always be fair to you, you're in for a shock...the world *owes you nothing*. Its been here before you...if anything YOU owe *it*. Say "Thank you" for the opportunity to live on this particular area of the Universe!

"Thank you" is the phrase that pays.....it acknowedges acceptance for both giver and receiver. Use it often!

The right tools.....

2010-06-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

"If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." -Abraham Maslow.

Today, a friend needed some tools and I was asked if I had a socket set with a spark plug socket. Usually, I carry a toolkit with me in my car at all times, but I left the toolkit at home months ago and never put it back in my trunk. I felt badly that I didn't have the toolkit with me, and it reminded me of a situation that happened years ago......

One day, during my Mighty-Mites class, we were practicing inward strike (or inward block, in other systems), and little Timmy asked "Sifu, why do we do inward strike like that?"

I paused for a second to realize that he wasn't asking "Why is it called inward strike?" but "why its done like that". If he had asked "why is it called?", that would be easy to answer! "Because it goes *inward* toward our centerline!"....but he asked *why* it was executed like that, and honestly, I didn't have an answer because he took me by surprise. Most kids always ask "why is it called this or that?". All the other kids chimed in, "Yeah, Sifu, why do we do it like that?"

Wow, simple question, and I had no answer. I could have explained all the academic points of proper weapon placement, mapping, and choice of techniques for a given self defense situation, but the kids were 5 years old.....would they even care about all that academic mumbo jumbo that probably wouldn't make sense till they were at least 8 years old?

At that time, it was getting around time for a short water break, so I said, "I'll answer that question after break...." and I let the kids take their break. As I was walking to my office to get my water bottle, I noticed that the locker that carried all our tools was ajar. As I shut the locker door, I thought "That's it! Tools!" I gathered up a hammer, a few small nails, a screw, a bolt, a nut, a flathead screwdriver, a Phillips head screwdriver, and a wrench, along with some pieces of board from a previous board breaking class.

After break, I called the class together and said "Remember a few minutes ago, when Timmy asked 'why do we do inward strike like that? Who remembers?" All hands raise, all voices ring "I remember! I do!"

"Well, who has ever watched their Mom or Dad use a screwdriver? Who knows what a screwdriver is?" All hands raise. I pulled out the screwdriver and said "This is a tool that is used to put screws (held up a screw) into things like wood or a wall." I showed them the flathead and the Phillips, and started the screw into one of the board pieces with the flathead (single slot screw). I let each of them try to turn the screw a few turns. Then Anne exclaimed "Hey, the other screwdriver won't fit! Its got a different shape!"

"That's right! Good eye, Anne! This flathead is the right tool for this job, since the screw only has one slot. The other screwdriver, is that the right tool?" "NOOOOO!" said the class. "Same type of tools, they both are, but one doesn't work for this job."

Then, I started a nail into the board with the hammer. After I got it a little way into the wood, I pulled out the Phillips screwdriver and tried to "hammer" it with the tip and the handle. The kids laughed. "Is THIS screwdriver the right tool?" "NOOOOO!"

Then, I took out a bolt and nut, pushed the bolt through several layers of paper and turned the nut on. "Now I gotta tighten this bolt!" I used the hammer, and the kids laughed. "Well that's not gonna work. How about this?" I used the screwdrivers. More laughter. "Well, dang, that's not gonna work either. Let's see, let's try this!" I grabbed the adustable wrench and fitted it onto the nut. "Wait! This thing can fit on the bolt!! Michael, can you turn this and see if it makes the nut go tighter?" Michael turned the wrench a few times. "Its working! its moving!"

"See? We have to have the right tools for the job!". I stood up and said "Michael, I want you to pretend that I'm an attacker, and I want you to show the your best side kick to my knee!.....don't hit me for real though!" Michael got up, assumed his tiger stance, and did his best side kick with a kiai. "Very nice! Now, I'm gonna change my position, and I want you to side kick me in the knee again!" I fell to both knees, and bent over a little bit to hide my stomach. Michael got into his tiger stance, then said "But I can't side kick your knee, you're hiding 'em!" The class erupted in giggles.

"That's true! So your side kick to the knee is probably not the best tool to use, huh? But the job is, put down the bad guy, so what other tool can I use?" The class shouted out "front kick!", "Palm strike!", and other weapons. "Those are all correct! But, we can't use all those tools for all the places you can hit. Tell me, what target is open right now?"

"Face!"

"True! Can you kick that high?"

"No! Too high!"

"What could we use, then?"

"Palm strike!"

"Timmy, show me how you'd use palm strike to face". Timmy ran up, and did a great palm strike toward my nose. (very close! Whew!) "Right, Tim! You got it!"

"See? We always need the right tools for the job. "How about punch? Can you punch me in nose NOW?" I turned my body to face away from Timmy. "No! Too slow to run around to your face!" Timmy said. So I said "How about inward strike? Where can you strike?" And without warning, he landed his inward strike to my ear. Whew, luckily, not enough power to bust an eardrum, but it woke me up for sure!

"I get it!" Timmy said. "Sometimes ya gotta use other strikes when ya can't do punch!"

"That's right, Tim. Did you feel that inward strike was the best tool that time?"

"Yeeeaaah. It was easy! Is that why inward strike is done like that?"

"For this can't-get-to-my-face-job, Timmy, yeah!"

Little Paul was looking at the pile of tools nearby, and piped up....."Sifu, but this thing....(held up a phillips screw)....you didn't use the other screwdriver! (he picks up the phillips head). Hey, this thing fits in BOTH this one AND the other one (single slot screw)! Hey look!!!"

"We'll......go over that another day, Paul...."

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As adults, we know that certain professions have certain tools that are needed for their jobs. Plumbers tend to have a slightly different toolset than carpenters, and carpenters have a different toolset than, let's say, car mechanics. But as Paul pointed out, sometimes a single tool can span different jobs. In martial arts, we learn how to use all our "tools" for multiple "jobs", in an myriad of ways. In life, the more "tools" you have, the greater the chances you can "fix" what needs to be fixed, or the greater the chances you have for figuring out how to construct something.

Do you have multiple "tools" in life? Or do you carry only one or two tools only because they're the only ones you know how to use? Why not learn how to use other tools?

Our past experiences, our opinions, our outlooks, even our predictions, are types of these tools. In simple example, If all you know and expect from life is negativity, then guess what....you'll see everything, no matter great it is, as a letdown or a perceived insult.....your perceptions will have operated on only the tools that you know how to use. On the other hand, if you're overly confident and positive and don't allow reality to come into your mode of thought, then problems that need working on, won't get worked on if you think that the problem will solve itself just with positive intent. There has to be a balance....a point where *all* our tools in our toolboxes will be useful for our specific jobs. We must purchase our tools wisely, and if need be, seek instruction from someone else familiar with a particular tool, on how to use them.

Now, if I could only figure out what I bought my big impact wrench for. :)

The Importance of Martial Arts Etiquette , addendum....

2010-05-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

I forgot to add a few other points to the importance of etiquette in Martial Arts. These points address the confusing aspects of Wu De (martial ethics):

Students:

1) Try to uphold your ethics even if the seniors and teachers don't do it themselves.
---This can be confusing, because we're supposed to follow our senior's and teacher's leads, right? But teachers are human and make mistakes or might get involved with situations that challenge the ethics of your art or even the morality of the general public. Keep to your manners, and stick to your guns. Don't be the lemming that runs off the cliff just because the others do.

2) Dishonesty is not allowed.
--- Don't lie to your classmates or teachers to cover up something. Unless you're keeping a surprise party a secret, don't tell lies to cover up for someone else.

3) If your school's ethics fall by the wayside, ask yourself honestly: "Can I stick around turning a blind eye to the broken manners and still feel good about myself and my training?"
---If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, its okay to take a leave of absence or leave the school if need be. Its your training....take pride in it but don't tarnish it with bad manners or turning a blind eye to bad manners and ethics. If you're looking merely for the techniques then sure, stick around and deal with it, but you won't be studying a true "art" if you're all about the skill and looking cool and willfully ignoring the manners and ethics.

4) Remember, you are in charge of the work you put into the training. You reap what you sow.
---Your teachers have made a commitment to show you their art....you should make a commitment to doing the best you can while you're at the school. YOU do the work. You'll feel really great about it in the long run.

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Thoughout my own training, I met people who thought that "Training" meant just showing up for classes. They showed "committment" to showing up, so didn't that deserve a gold star or something? Well yes, it could mean that...*assuming the work they do is hard, dedicated, and earnest. "Sweat and hard work brings success....no one will give it to you on a silver platter", My Dad used to say.

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Teachers, its exactly the same as for the students:

1) Try to uphold your ethics even if the students don't do it themselves.
---Remember you're a guide that leads by example. Show them the importance of your school's etiquette and be sure they learn the true nature of it, instead of just having them blindly follow rules for fear of getting punished.

2) Dishonesty is not allowed.
--Do not destroy student's trust in you. (I mentioned that in my previous post). Don't manipulate the students. Remember that one lie begets another, and it will get to the point where you won't be able to keep the lies straight.

3) If your school's ethics fall by the wayside, ask yourself honestly: "Can I stick around turning a blind eye to the broken manners and still feel good about myself, my position, and my school?"
---If the students continually break protocol, you have the right to have them take a leave of absence or leave the school altogether. Its your school and your reputation......take pride in it but don't tarnish it with bad manners or turning a blind eye to bad manners and ethics. If you're looking merely for more students, more money and prestige, then sure, stick around and deal with it, but you won't be teaching a true "art" if you're all about prestige and willfully ignoring the manners and ethics.

4) Remember, you are in charge of the work you put into the training. You reap what you sow.
---Your students have made a commitment to work hard at the art....you should make a commitment to doing the best you can while you're at the school as well. Teach them well, but understand that skill alone doesn't put the label "Martial Artist" on them.

5) Leave your ego and sense of entitlement out of the picture.
--- Your position as a teacher carries many benefits as well as great burdens of responsibility. As much work as you do teaching your students, you do not own them. Don't force them to stay or threaten them if they choose to leave. They too, are individuals and good teachers will let them go if they choose, or dismiss them if they are not upholding a moral standard. Some will stay away, and some will return, and either way you should take it as a learning experience. You are an experienced guide, and good students will continue to follow you if you keep your end of the school's etiquette as well as they. To keep students via manipulation is purely ego-driven.

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I've had kids that were all "gung ho" one minute, and wanting to play on the ultimate frisbee team the next. I had a kid who wanted to play on the frisbee league, and I let him do it, saying "Wow, sounds like fun....I bet your Wushu will help that jumping for the frisbee, huh?". Then, some months later, he returned, excited about how his Wushu helped the games and he also learned new things that made his wushu much better when he returned. On the other hand, I have students who have left for other activities, school, or other life reasons. My wushu class is relatively small due to those who have chosen other paths, but "I don't own them", so no harm, no foul. If they choose to return, the door is always open.

There are two types of students when it comes to manners and etiquette....those who follow them, and those who do not.....

Which one are YOU??

The importance of Martial Arts Etiquette in everyday life.....

2010-05-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

Wu De, Dojo Kun,....whatever you prefer to call it, "Martial Virtue" is a very important aspect to learning martial arts and important life skills. When I was a youngster on my first day of Karate training, I thought "Cool! I get to learn how to break boards, and beat bullies up, and look cool!". That first day, was my first taste of "Dojo Kun"....the rules, the ettiquette, and the morals of Karate (and other martial arts). The first thing I learned, was not to punch or kick.....but to *bow*. We learned to come into the Dojo with a humble heart and open mind. We learned that bowing to another was a greeting, a token of mutual respect, a way of saying "please" and "thank you". We learned more Dojo Kun as the months passed, and soon it became a natural part of training. When I think about it....there were a lot of etiquette factors, but we remembered them. It wasn't that it was hundreds of rules to follow....instead, it all boiled down to polite courtesy.

Times have changed, and so have training methods. Many eclectic fighting styles are out there and the popularity of MMA (mixed martial arts) has skyrocketed. However, these days, some people might have the idea that the "old ways" of respect and etiquette are outdated. When I was learning Karate, we knew what happened if you spoke to others or was moving around aimlessly while Sensei lectured or demonstrated....you got pushups. it was rare that Sensei ever gave out pushups, because we all knew the rules. But when those those pushups were given, the offending student immediately did them without complaint, apologized for holding up the class, and it never happened again.

These days, I meet people that see nothing wrong with talking with others while their teacher is speaking or demonstrating. I've even met people that are proud about how brave they were about back-talking their teacher. I've met people that see nothing wrong with people roughhousing, arguing, belittling others, standing in disrespectful postures (arms crossed, hands on hips) or even sitting down and playing with stuff on the floor while their teachers are lecturing or demonstrating. I've even heard of students that tell the teacher what they should be learning, or threatening to quit if they don't get the belt they want or the special treatment they think they deserve.

Granted, each school is different. I know of schools where the teacher's first name is used, not their title. I've been to schools where bowing is not required. That's great...but the basic tenets of courtesy are followed. That's all that Wu De is....courtesy, acknowledgment, gratitude, and respect for students and teachers.

But what are these "basic tenets"? Well, as I said, each school is different, but the common factors are:

Respect your teachers
Respect your classmates
Do your best in classes, don't be lazy
Be the best you can be
Come to class ready.....uniform clean and body clean, have all necessary gear
Work together to keep the school clean and neat. Don't expect the the seniors and teachers to do it all for you.
We are all training together for a common purpose. Work together to make training a good learning experience
Do not get angry at other students for silly reasons.
Use proper titles if your school requires it.
Don't be arrogant or over confident in your skills. We all have much to improve upon.
Set good examples for lower ranked students
Be patient in your training. Do not demand more knowledge from the teachers. If you're ready, the teachers will teach you.
Be humble, don't brag
Don't be afraid to speak to your teachers about questions or concerns you may have. To fear a negative response from your teacher, is unneeded fear. A good teacher will listen and work with you, so long as you don't do rule #12
Don't think of any concept or technique as "simple"....again, we all have much to improve upon.
Be honest in your training. Are you *really* pushing that stance down, or are you watching others do it and assuming you are as well? Your classmates are not doing your work for you....work hard on your OWN improvement and be honest with yourself. Leave your ego out of your training.
Don't take corrections from teachers so personally.
Be grateful for the opportunity to train in your art.

Some schools carry many more rules of etiquette, some less, but it boils down to courtesy and basic morals. As for the people that threaten to quit their Dojo if they don't get taught the kobudo kata they want so badly, or if they don't get to test for the next belt they think they so rightly deserve....think about it.....there IS a reason why you're not being taught it yet. You're not ready for it! Oh, you might *think* you're ready, but that's merely ego pushing itself into the limelight. Train hard and show your teacher how hard you are willing to work, don't sit around and wait for instruction.....work for it. Teachers are happy to teach, so long as you're willing to work and take corrections. You'll be surprised sometimes, how much the teachers will teach you when you show the willingness to learn. As I've always said to my own students: "If I took my Master's corrections personally and got mad because I got corrected, that would be like saying I was better that my Master. How arrogant that would be! In that case, I would be teaching my Master! And I don't see that happening until the day I leave this Earth...."

So far, I've spoke of just the student's responsibilities in Wu De or Dojo Kun. However, it is a two-way street. Teachers should also take the above listed rules to heart as well, with certain additions, such as:

Be patient in your teaching. Do not demand perfection from your students....instead, demand that they try their best to be the best people they can be. Your definition of "perfect" is probably different than your students. Be the experienced guide, not the dictator, along the path..
Do not destroy the student's trust in you.
You are the example for your students.
Encourage the students, do not belittle them.
Make classes enjoyable yet disciplined......don't sacrifice Dojo Kun to have fun.
If your students are working hard to learn, work just as hard to teach!
Be balanced and honest in your teaching. If your student is not quite ready for the next kata (or boxing combo, or whatever else), then don't teach it to them yet and give them good pointers on how to improve their current skillset. Don't teach anything merely because a student demands it of you, and be ready to stick to your guns.

There's so much more Wu De for both teacher and student....and as I mentioned, each school differs. Learn the protocol for your school or gym, and stick to it as best you can. For me, protocol and etiquette is much, much more than antiquated, old style customs.....they're what make a martial system an "art" as opposed to just a "beat people up" art. You may argue "Well MMA (or insert fighting-only system here) doesn't have all that outdated etiquette junk!". Well, to these people, I ask.....when was the last time you tried talking back to your coach? When was the last time you didn't say thank you to your training or sparring partner? When was the last time you purposefully was lazy in your training session? Did you get disciplined when you were being lazy? Well, then.....Not quite so outdated, is it?

Courtesy, Respect, Gratitude. That's all Wu De or Dojo Kun is. Whatever you call it, the etiquette forms a wonderful network between students and teachers, and with other arts as well. Remember, your art is only as strong as its practitioners.....if the practitioners are weak in manners, then the art becomes weak. If you brag a lot about your skill, then blame others when you're defeated, you're not a warrior, martial artist or even a fighter.....you're just bragging and blaming, that's it...period. Manners of the Martial Arts are what really tests us.

"Are you merely just 'all fists', or are you 'all finesse'?"

Martial Etiquette is what gives us our finesse.

A few sites with Wu De or Dojo Kun examples:
http://www.pathsatlanta.org/index.php/2009/11/28/understanding-wu-de-as-martial-virtue/
http://www.lotusdragon.com/L2/ETIQUETTE.HTM
http://www.clubs.psu.edu/up/shotokan/dojokun.html
http://www.birminghamshotokan.com/page7.htm
My school's Wu De: http://seattlewushucenter.com/wudeh.aspx

Pleased to meet you..., I'd shake your hand, but.....

2010-05-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

..."If you have a clenched fist, it is difficult to receive. If you let it go and open the fist, you have a hand. Then it is easy to receive...." -John Rogers, Peter McWilliams, from their book "Life 101"

I normally do not blog about topics such as my own personal beliefs, because honestly, I don't think its anyone's business if I believe in Christian beliefs, Buddhist beliefs or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But, here we go on the subject. Lately, some friends and I have been discussing the topic of "acceptance" and the meaning of "spirituality". Does "Spirituality" only mean that one has to believe in a "one Diety"??. Although our discussions started out talking about different religion's views and wondering about some people's lack of acceptance of other people's beliefs solely because they do not match their own beliefs, I had to sit back and wonder why skeptics of Deity-beliefs are just about as hard nosed about the non-existence of Deities, as the believers are insistent that they do exist.

Either way, folks, its not going to prove your belief wrong if you actually listen to what the other side has to say. Most people would assume that I'm talking to extremist religious folk when I say that, but I'm also talking to the hard nosed skeptics. Both sides want to prove the other side wrong,....admit it already, both sides!. Skeptics will try to bring out tons of "scientific proof" that "God doesn't exist", or provide unanswerable questions to believers, just to stump the believers and make them realize their religious beliefs are merely superstition and are good for nothing except for superstition and ritual.

On the other hand, Religious folk will slate "proven" miracles, asking the scientific side "explain *that* with your science junk! Of course the skeptics will always find a scientific explanation.

Geez, all that work to prove your point. What's the point? Really.....WHAT'S THE POINT? The point really isn't whether or not a God or Higher Power or Source exists.....If you boil it down, all this arguing of "science is King" or "Jesus is King" is really just based on your own ego wanting to keep what you believe in, as your rock of proof. Its your justification for your personality and ego, if you really think about it.

When either side is closed-minded (i.e.....clenched fist), it going to be impossible to see the other point of view. Actually, its not a matter of "seeing" the other point of view (because gosh forbid....others might think you're not a skeptic (or a religious believer) anymore!), but respecting it. Open your hand....at least that way you can meet people properly, by shaking hands. Shaking hands doesn't mean the other person will magically convert you into a believer or skeptic. Get over it, folks.

There are extremists on both sides.....there are those skeptics that will troll the world for information that proves religious believers are wrong, and those that will try to cite timeline parallels between recorded history and their spiritual books to proof to skeptics that their deities exist. And, on both side, sometimes it can get violent when people get angry that their beliefs are being questioned. Come on skeptics....it is NOT an insult to your intelligence, and your social standing is NOT going to drop a few notches just because you respect a religious person's view without trying to condemn it as "superstition". And on the other hand, Religious people.....its not an insult to your god(s), nor is your social standing going to drop a few notches just because you respect a skeptic's person's view without trying to condemn them as "going to hell" or something like that.

Oh.....and for those of you wondering where my own beliefs are......I prefer to say that I follow a spiritual path, but I do not practice any orthodox religion. I believe, that the word "spirit" itself, does not necessarily *only* refer to God(s). I believe that the journey of raising awareness toward one's own consciousness of being and our relationship to anyone and everything is a journey toward Source. So there, I said it.

"Hi, my name is Restita....and I'm spiritually / energetically inclined....pleased to meet you.

Its a Pleasure to shake your hand."

A lesson from the TinyTribes Kung Fu class....

2010-04-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Today, in my TinyTribes class (3, 4, & 5 year old children), it was "300 Day". Their goal was to stay focused, alert, and participative in 100 punches (from a horse stance), 100 jumping jack, and 100 instep kicks. I told them "If you all participated and did *all* the techniques, you can say you did 300 things in 30 minutes!

Granted, there were a few interruptions, like "Sifu.....last time at the daycare, I got my toenail painted...." (amazing how kicks can bring up memories like that!). But, they did all the techniques! Instead of doing 100 punches straightaway, we did set of 10 on each exercise....always pointing out how close we were getting to 300 techniques.

So far, I've had many comments come in, like "Wow! They did that?" or "300 things for the tots! In 30 minutes?? Wow! Quite the achievement!" Yes, it IS quite the achievement for tots. But......us grownups can do great achievements like that too. As adults, shouldn't we be able to do such things? Let's take a lesson from our little ones....

Perception: The kids had actually no clue what the concept of "100" or "300" meant. They knew it was a number, they knew it was a lot of numbers, but they didn't let the numbers interfere with what they knew they could do. They didn't think it was going to be difficult at all. For them, its was "just punching", "just kicking", and "just jumping". As adults, if we think "100 pushups", we think of the repititions, the tired sore muscles, and the possibility of not meeting the goal. Don't let the numbers nag you, they're just numbers!
Initiative: When the tots just stood there watching others, they were reminded that standing there watching others wasn't the same as participating. If they didn't do all ten of say....a set of 10 punches, they would have to choose to take the initiative to"make up" the punches after everyone else was done with their own punches, or sit out and not meet the goal (an award ribbon). I see this sometimes, in group situations where adults must work together for a project. Sometimes, a group might have a few individuals that will allow the rest of the group to do the work, or not submit ideas or feedback for fear of being ridiculed or just being shy....but they're not afraid to take credit for being on the group that made the project a success. Don't be afraid to jump in to those cooperative group projects.....after all, the very worst that could happen is that your idea is not used. That's okay! Try not to be the wallflower that has the rest of the group do your part of the work.
Set the goal in your mind so that you can see it, hold it, smell it, taste it, etc.: I displayed the award ribbons during the class so the kids could see what they could take home and show their parents and be proud of. I allowed them to hold them for a few seconds, then stated that if they are successfull, I would "autograph" their ribbons so they knew how special their achievement was. They were sooooo excited.
Be realistic: One of the kids said "I can do a a bajillion of the jumping jacks all at once!!" Remember, the kids had no concept of 100, 1,000, or even a bajillion. So of course, they knew they could do it. However, after class, I said, "How about a one-thousand day? That's like doing what we did today, 10 more times!!". Then, they said "Wow, that's a lot!" As grownups, its great if we think we can do anything, but be realistic in your goals. Set your goals in steps....that way, you won't be disappointed when your ultimate goal isn't met after only a mere few weeks.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"!

- Lao Tzu

Lessons from an injured back....

2010-04-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday, I threw my back out. I'm embarassed to admit it....but I did it....get this....doing TAI CHI.

Okay, okay, before you all throw up your hands and say "Well, there goes that idea out the window! I wanted to learn something that allows for self-reflection and relaxation and stuff, but she threw out her back!"

Yes...I know....its kind of like setting up a skiing lesson with someone, then learning later that he/she can't teach you your first lesson because they broke their leg on the slopes. Hahahaha!

But.....if anything has been learned from this, I'd like to share my findings with you, my friends and students.

Don't go full board into an activity you haven't done in a few weeks: Take your time warming up into it, then building up again. I hadn't gone to my Master's Taiji class because of having to make appointments or teach here at my studio because my assistant was out of town. When I did get to class, we happened to do class "backwards". The fast forms first (Old Frame 2, broadsword), Push Hands, then Old Frame 1. I was so excited to get "back into the groove" that I did too much, at too fast a speed.
Its amazing just how much of daily activities involve your back!: I went Downtown to the City Municipal Building the next day, not walking all that well from the pain in my back and hip, tried opening the big door and fell to the sidewalk as a sharp, stabbing pain overtook me. Lucky for me, a gentleman was just coming out as I opened the door....he picked me up, asking "Oh my God, are you okay, Ma'am?". He even pushed on the revolving door for me so I didn't have to push it myself. Thank you, dear gentleman! Driving the car was painful, sitting was painful. I couldn't even lift my leg to kick or punch. Breathing.....breathing hurt too, believe it or not.
Don't be afraid of asking your support team for help....don't let pride or self reliance prevent your healing: I've always liked to demonstrate martial arts techniques on my own, and to get right into the middle of the class and correct people as they practiced......and I wasn't able to do that. If I dropped something, I couldn't pick it up. I took a deep breath (as painful as it was!) and asked my students "Can you get that for me?", "John, please demonstrate the proper stance in move 12", "Andrew, please lead warmups", "Class, please team up with a high ranked partner and practice together, high ranks, please coach your juniors". Granted, this is really how a good martial arts studio should be ran, but as much as I ask the help of my assistants, I love to move and work myself! It was hard to be reliant on others during my injury.
If people offer to assist you, accept the generosity graciously! What do you often hear when someone asks someone else "Need a hand with that?". You might hear "No, thank you, I got it". I've found that people will usually ask you if they can help *because they WANT to*. Its an honor to have someone offer their time and assistance. Accept the assistance and pay it forward later.
Listen to your body and your intuition: As I grow older, I realize that I don't bounce back after workouts or injuries as fast as I did when I was 20 years old. As this realization reminds me of my aching joints and muscles, I see I must listen to my body. The "No pain, no gain" adage needs to take a hike now. There are jumps and kicks my intuition tells me "NOT" to do, and I've ditched my intuition many times as of late, and have paid the price. This back injury was the Universe's way of telling me to SLOW DOWN.
It takes a village..... Just as it "takes a village" to raise a child, it takes a village to grow up responsibly and healthily, and to grow older as well. Just as I mentioned a few paragraphs back, don't be afraid to enlist your "village". It doesn't mean you are weak...it means you are smart.

Well, my back is doing a little better now, 6 days later....but I know the pain and muscle guarding has referred into my neck. Whatever I've done in the past few months to contribute to throwing my back out and with neck pain/migraines, I'm going to have to figure out what it is and be consistent in my wellness options. I have a great team of students, friends, chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncturist, etc that I know are on my side, and it feels good to know that I have a support team. My hope, is that I too, become (or are already) a part of other people's support teams!

"What, ref, are ya blind??"

2010-04-09T15:19:00.001-07:00

Easy enough of a concept, but I'm still finding this out: In order to really "see", you should be "looking". We see what we want, and tend to ignore what could be an obvious happening, all in the attempt to "see" what we personally prefer.

I meet people with "selective awareness" all the time. Sporting events, martial arts tournaments, martial arts classes, healing methods, etc. Name an activity, and of course you'll see people that are staunch supporters and fans of what they do or like.

Whatever the thing we support or activity we do, I'm a believer myself of the "whatever floats your boat" stream of thought, so long as "you don't try so hard to sink my boat, and to stop thinking your boat is bigger, faster, has more sails, has better engine, or whatever else."

It is our own thought process that makes something interesting, enjoyable, and full of positive results. It is also our thoughts that make something dull, lackluster, and full of negative results. We will tend to see things in the way we'd prefer them to be....we will tend to gain results from things we prefer to believe in. That's fine. We all do that......

...But, let's all get of our high horses, shall we? Yes, that includes me...and includes you too.

I've heard lots of things.....Karate is better than Kung Fu, MMA is better than Karate, this method of healing gets better results than that method, this religion is better than that religion.....all because we've developed something over the evolution of humans.......

"Personal opinion".

Ironic....that my opinion is that everything boils down to opinion....hahahaha!

"Personal opinion" can also make success. Or make failure....

Recently at a tournament, i heard several spectator shout "What are you, Blind?" as we officials were calling points for a sparring match. Parents are looking for points *their* child makes, ignoring obvious point the other child makes. What made it ridiculous, was that some parents were making the other kid's clean point to the midsection, a sloppy slap to their own kid's arm. Hello! All 3 of us judges saw the other kid make a clean punch to your child's midsection....and controlled too. Meanwhile their own kid was kicking *really* hard and made the other kid cry after a particularily hard roundhouse kick to the stomach. "What! That kid is faking! He's not hurt! That was a clean point! New judges! Get new judges! My kid deserves that point not a contact warning! Wimp judges"

Yep....that's what can go on at martial arts tournaments sometimes. But I can't really blame those blowhard parents. They want their child to win so badly, that all they see is their child's victory......meanwhile, they don't see how embarassed their child is of the shouting his parents are doing at the sidelines, nor do they see they are coming across as opinionated and obviously hoping the other child will lose the match. No sportsmanship there. The desire the support their child was a good thing....their opinion of what it took to win, was not a good thing.

You know who the good sports are in any sport? The people that truly understand what getting good at their sport is all about. The good sports are the ones that are thankful there are other people that play the sport in order for tournaments to happen. They're the ones that learn from mistakes instead of blaming the winning team for cheating in a fair and square match.

As I said earlier..."Whatever floats your boat, people." Enjoy the sailing and don't sink mine. Besides, regardless if you have a cool boat while I have a mere kayak, I could easily just put mine on a carrier on top of my car and away I go....., while you have to go through the trouble of putting your big boat on a big trailer with a pickup just to drag it anywhere.

Learn well, Train well,

Restita
http://seattlewushucenter.com

Exploring Martial Arts is like exploring relationships

2010-03-21T19:22:00.001-07:00

Martial Arts training, can be a lot like finding relationships.....sort of like "dating". Having been single for a few years now, I've come back to realizing the true reasons why I train and teach. And humorously, I've realized that Martial Arts paths are indeed sort of like the paths experienced through dating or forming relationships (with anyone...doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic relationship)

Think about it,....when you're first attracted to someone and you're on the "pursue" phase, sometimes we take on a slightly different persona during that time. We take on that "good behavior" persona so that the the person we're interested in sees our good side and hopefully, is attracted to us as well. During that "dating persona" time, we generously compliment the object of our admiration, we see the great things about the other (and sort of ignore the less-than-great-things), we arrange our schedules to spend time with the other, we hang on to their every word, and listen for the phone to ring. Sound familiar??

And so...two of you get together, things are going great, communication is good, you enjoy each other's company and all is good. Then, what happens? Time goes on, and the honeymoon phase ends. Although the excitement of being with the other person is still there, it is definitely not like the first few months. Although you care deeply for the other, over time you've seen the other's true self, outside of the dating persona. If you choose to be with the other's true self, you find that the love and caring is indeed always there, but the feeling is not that sense of "urgent" desire to be with the other person.....it is not always that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see them, it is not that feeling of having to say and do all the right things. Instead, if all goes well, the feeling gains a sense of deeper meaning, a higher understanding of the other, a sense of trust, and a true sense of connection. You then begin to truly enjoy the time together, instead of merely being addicted to the activities.

On the other hand....if the relationship gets too one sided, or if your expectations of the other person turn out to be so over-estimated that you become disappointed that he or she is not the epitomy of perfection you so thought them to be, you'll soon be looking somewhere else to satisfy your desire for companionship. Or, you try to keep your expectations of them, trying hard to look for anything positive and ignoring anything that doesn't fit what you're looking for. Also, in some cases, you might meet someone that seems so wonderful, but they show an attractive personality just long enough to secure your willingness to stick around or for whatever ulterior motive they might have.....then they drop the ball and you're left high and dry.

Whether you stay strong in a relationship, you leave the relationship, or the other person leaves you, you learn a lot of things about yourself along the way. Some of these life lessons may not be easy pills to swallow, but hopefully, we learn to look at ourselves with an honest eye. We learn to not place the total blame on the other person, nor do we take all the credit for for a wonderful relationship. We learn that any relationship is based on the efforts of both people.

Martial artists will know exactly how the dating scene relates to our paths in martial arts. I see it all the time. New students are so gung ho about their training. They come to class as often as they can (sometimes every day, and even stopping in to practice during non-class times), and they're attracted to the benefits and challenges that the activity brings. They're making new friends, getting stronger and more skilled every day, and they love it so much that they sometimes say "I wish the school had this class every day". They do their best to show good technique, respect, and gain favorable nods from the instructors. As instructors, we say "This gal or guy is gonna be good!".

Then, with some folks, the initial excitedness wears off. The interest is still great, but they realize that they have other responsibilites outside of martial arts class, and their attendance drops to a more realistic level. Their participation in class then begins to show that they're not trying hard in practice to impress the teachers or senior students....they begin to practice for *themselves*, and that's when we as instructors see their "true colors". If the students sticks around, they do indeed gain a sense of deeper meaning, a higher understanding, a sense of trust, and a true sense of connection with the art of their affection. You begin to learn a lot more about yourself and how to relate to the art. You begin to truly enjoy and experience the time, not just satisfy your need for activity.

And...on the other hand, if your expectations of an art are overestimated (or in many cases, wrong altogether), uninformed, or stereotyped, you might be surprised when you begin to find the true nature of the art. I've had many people come into my school assuming that Tai Chi was merely a type of slow happy dance (really, I'm not kidding). Or, they stereotype Tai Chi as only an exercise for the elderly, infirm, or those undergoing physical therapy. Some do learn through a bit of research that Tai Chi is a great exercise for all ages, and a good activity for stress relief and meditation. But when I pull out the combat applications of Tai Chi out of my hat, some people are taken aback in disbelief.....even when I tell them from the very beginning that Tai Chi is first and foremost, a martial art. "What! You mean those movements can actually be used for combat? I'm outta here!". In these cases, I try to refer them to an activity that would best suit them.

I'm not even going to get into studios or teachers that put forth a big attractive personality, then don't deliver what they claim. These schools are very few, thank goodness. For the most part, martial arts schools are professional, staffed with skilled teachers, and honest with their students.

So......Whether you stay strong in a relationship with your art, you leave the art, or the art distances itself leaves you, you learn a lot of things about yourself along the way. Some of these life lessons may not be easy pills to swallow, but hopefully, we learn to look at ourselves with an honest eye. We learn to not place the total blame on the art, nor do we take all the credit for for a wonderful relationship with the art. We learn that any relationship is based on the efforts of both people.

As someone who has been been around the dating scene a little bit in the last few years, I am sort of amused by the parallels between dating/good relationships, and martial arts training / mastery. I'm in no big hurry to find the person of my dreams at a dating service or at the supermarket and have them sweep me away. Nor am I in the biggest hurry to become an Nth degree Grand-Poobah-head honcho master. But one thing is for sure in both cases.....I'm going to keep looking, striving to be at my best and true to my personality, goals, and dreams.....hopefully, it will result in favorable situations in both cases!

So, I ask you, dear reader.....have any of you been through any interesting martial arts "Dating Experiences" lately? Doesn't necessarily have to be in comparision to martial arts.......Let's get your 2 cents! Feel free to comment.

Train well...

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Rewards: Incentives or Distractions?

2010-03-18T12:34:00.001-07:00

Just as I was getting ready to leave from from private school Wushu classes, a little girl came out of one of the classrooms, crying.

"Sheila..., what's wrong?"

Sheila struggled to catch her breath between sobs. "I got a missed point on my point sheet because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing....."

(At this school, kids get daily report cards. Kids earn points toward "marks".....)

"Aaw. Can I ask...will it be the end of the world if you miss a point? You can make up the point, you know..." I said.

"Yeah, but......"

"Are you disappointed because you expected all good marks today?" I asked.

"No. Not disappointed".

Puzzled, I asked "You're not gonna get a Minus from this are you? ("minus" mark means "fell well below expections")"

"No. No minus. I just won't make an the "met all expectations" mark"

"So, you're disappointed about missing the "excellent" mark?"

"No....." She sobbed more.

Now I'm really puzzled. Usually, even if you don't get the "met all expecations" mark, you can make up for it in another tracks of that class. Its common for kids to get a check mark or even a minus mark some days. So I was wondering why she was so upset. Then....she told me.....

..."Its just that my Mom told me that if I got all equals until Spring Break, then I'd get to go on a vacation to Disneyland with my friend that I havent seen in 3 months...."

"Aaaah. So, let me understand....you're working on good marks, just for a vacation to Disneyland? I see. You're upset because you know you might not make all 'equals' marks until Spring Break, huh?..."

"Yeah, and that means I won't go to disneyland with my best friend...". More sobs. Its was heartbreaking.

I spoke a lower, softer voice and intentionally breathed in even breaths, to try and get her to follow my rhythm. "Sheila...please listen. You can go back in class and earn that missed point back, or we can sit out here and talk about how you will not go to Disneyland because you weren't on task. I know you can be on task..."

"But what about Disneyland??? If I can't earn that point, I'm not goinggggg!"

More sobs. More erratic breathing.

"Sheila...are you trying hard for good marks for being proud of trying your best in school,...or are you only trying hard just so you go to Disneyland? Remember what I talked about in class last week?"

"Yeah.....we study and try hard to earn experience and knowledge, not just points. Points just tell us how we're doing with gaining knowledge".

"That's right. So what is important? Knowledge that will stick with you the rest of your life? Or only a few days in Disneyland?. Disneyland is cool, but I guarantee you'll have lots of opportunities to go to Disneyland. Or 6 flags. Or anywhere else!"

"I guess...Knowledge is more important."

"Yes sirree. Knowledge and pride in you accomplishents are your real rewards. Disneyland is extra icing on the fun cake, huh? Sheila smiled and wiped her eyes.

"Now get back in there and earn that missed point back! And I hope to hear about your Disneyland trip!". Sheila ran back to her classroom.

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Rewards: Incentives or Distractions?

As a teacher, I do use rewards as an incentive for the kids at my martial arts school. Maybe a fun little game for a class's excellent effort, or for little ones, stickers that say "I did my best today!" when they try their best. It doesn't matter that they might've made mistakes...if they try hard to correct themselves, have fun, and put in good effort, they've earned rewards. But I keep the rewards realistic, and I don't do games or stickers every day. I don't want kids to believe that they can get the reward by just showing up to class.

When teaching our own kids at home, let's do the same thing. Keep it realistic. Base the rewards on fun things, yes...but to promise something so big as a trip to Disneyland for an 8 year old child if they are "perfect" in school....that's setting up for a very upset child if he or she realizes they weren't "perfect".

At this age group, the concepts of self-esteem, confidence, and pride through accomplishement, are just starting to make sense to kids. To attach rewards that are associated with things that kids really desparately want to do, want to get, or think are cool, will only result in kids working at goals just to get the reward. Instant gratification. "I got my "A", so give me my vacation". "I got my "A", so buy me a car". When kids are taught from a young age to expect that the World is owed to them if they do one little thing correctly, they will learn to expect the World for *every* little thing done correctly. This will backfire....even though kids will do the correct things, and the right things, they might be apt to get very upset when things don't go their wayc or if they feel their efforts are not "correct". A downward spiral with self confidence, a questioning of self worth, and the questioning of the "fairness" of the World, could result. I'm not saying it *will*....what I'm saying is, depending how the child is taught, it might end up in the child seeing their surroundings as "not fair" when things don't go their way. Or, in extreme instances...resulting in a child obsessed with being "perfect" to avoid disappoinment in anything.

If these traits linger into adulthood, it is possible that it could affect their lives in different ways. It may affect how they work, it may affect how they interact with others, it may affect their own expectations of others.

Support our kid's efforts, and Reward wisely. Let's teach our kids the true meaning of effort and accomplishment...if they understand those, the rewards you give will be that much *more*....rewarding.

Train hard...train well.

Selfishness and Altruism: Two sides of the same coin?

2010-03-15T17:31:00.001-07:00

Today in my afterschool martial arts program, all the kids were taking their snack break in the commons area, when I heard a sharp shout above the din of talking and laughter: "I'm in 8th grade! For gosh sakes! I'm not some baby ya know!"

I stopped the class. "Whoa, what's going on?" I asked, while the shouter, an 8th grade girl, stomped away to another part of the commons area and plunked down in a chair with her arms folded and a grumpy look on her face.

After speaking to several boys about what happened, I learned that one of them asked her why she was giving away her snack.

"Yeah, then she started to get all mad and we asked 'why are ya mad?', then she started screamin'"

I was surprised at her reaction to whatever upset her, because a bit earlier, she offered her snack to me, saying "I'm not into animal crackers...you can have them if you want...its called 'unselfishness'. I heard you say earlier that you were hungry even though you had lunch not long ago..."

"Well, thank you! Unselfishness, eh? Sometimes, we can use the word "Altruistic"..."

"I like to not be selfish. But what's that 'altruistic' mean?"

"Well, it kind of means that you're concerned about the interests and welfare of others, and may often offer your service, time, or asstance to help other attain whatever goal or desination they're going for or hoping for....all without expectation of reward or recognition. Kind of like that!!" I answered.

"So selfishness and altru..."

"Altruism..."

"Yeah, Altruism...so they're kinda like opposites?"

"Yeah, you could say that", I smiled. "Actually, I'm not into animal crackers either...maybe you may share with the others??"

"Sure! Its all about altruism, right!" She said, as she walked back to the group.

Fast forward 10 minutes later, after the shouting scene. I walked over to her and found out that she was upset that she wasn't highly commended or complimented or thanked by the kids on her selfless act of sharing.

"Remember what I said about selfishness and altruism being opposites?" I asked. "Sometimes though, we may tend to be so caught up in our own thoughts or our own needs and wants only, work so hard to makes these needs and wants happen that we forget to at what others need and want."

"...But I'm always helping people and sharing. No one really appreciates it!"

"Then, that's not being truly altruistic. If you are looking for recognition and awards for helping others, that's a kind of selfishness." I said.

She looked at me and nodded. "So...I'm being sefish by wanting people to recognize me as a good person?"

"No, not sefish....self absorbed maybe. Think about it...do you do good things so people say 'oh! Helen is such a good person!', or, do you
Do good things just because it feels good or because its the right thing to do?"

"Aah...I guess a little of both. I like doing the right things, but I want people to know I'm doing it for them".

"Aaah", I said. "Then that isn't really selflessness or unselfishness if you do things to make yourself look good, just for the gain of recognition. Or, when you're older, if you the do right things only for fame or profit."

She nodded. "So what now?"

"Go over there and apologize to screaming at them. They didn't say anything to make you mad....you allowed yourself to interpret things differently and you got yourself mad. That's the right thing...go say 'sorry'".

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So ask yourselves...."Am I doing right and good, and doing service for my community out of good feeling, love for fellow people and compassion? Or am I doing this for fame, recognition, money, or other profit? Am I doing this for only my personal gain?"

No one would want to think of themselves as someone who is so self absorbed that they think as if they're great and doing the world a favor for being around, when they're actually just acting. But, you'll probably be surprised, that one time or another, we've all given service for the ulterior motive of being recognized as "that great person" or for personal gain. I've been there....and will struggle for a long time with that question of "Am I really all that and a bag of chips, expecting fame and fortune from all this? Or am I doing good for the sake of doing good?"

There's nothing wrong, of course, if people recognize you as a great person, a great leader, or even a selfless altruistic person.... but don't let it go to your head and don't allow ulterior motives guide your decisions. If you do, you'll only end up make everyone happy *except* for yourself!

Train the mind, strengthen the spirit. Train well!

Another blast from my blog's past: "Vitality in Art"

2010-03-11T13:13:00.000-08:00

(Moving old blog posts from my previous location to here on Blogspot....here is one from early 2009)

February 24 2009

Quote of the month:

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost". -Martha Graham

Who a better person to quote such words, as dance legend Martha Graham? Her ideas and concepts in contemporary dance choreography were innovative for it's time, and set the stage for contemporary dance. Her concepts were fresh, incorporating a raw sense of emotion not often seen before that time. Even the musical scores composed for her suites were very different from the music of the time.....major and minor chords combined, intricate rythym, tapestries of sound that either hit you like a shock, or brought raw emotion to the surface. Dancers of the Martha Graham Dance Company, became masters of bringing a "life force" to dance, translated through action.

Being a martial artist, I feel that the "art" of the fighting systems not only resides in the correctness of movement or even the committment to movement.....the art, I believe, resides in the "vitality" (as Martha puts it) of intent, emotion, and expression. This expression can be evident in any martial art, no matter how rough or it may look.

Don't get me wrong....Martial "art" is simply not the sole idea of looking pretty while you do a Kata. Nor is it how high you jump, how heavy a sword you wield, how many boards you break, how many tournaments you win. Granted, having a few elements of strength and poise are indeed contributing factors to physical prowess and competitive edge….but in the end if you don’t have “intent, emotion, expression….and the ability to manifest these elements without conscious thought”….it won’t be a true art....it would only be physical skill and in some cases, mere tricks.

In my Taiji classes, my students often hear me say “Feel for it…..”, or I’ll compare a motion to an already familiar experience. “Push the beach ball under water” I might say, and their eyes light up with “Oh! Okay!”. This is because I know that not all my words will make sense during a class, and if a student does indeed make the connection between a familiar experience and a newfangled martial arts movement, it will be easier for them to bring forth the sense of intent needed for a movement. When it all comes together and a student can translate intent through action and freely express themselves through movement, then that , is Martial Art.

"Softness Vs. Hardness" (A blast from my blog's past)

2010-02-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, I had my blog at a previous location before switching over to Blogspot. I'm in the slow process of transferring my numerous old blog posts to this one, so every now and then, I'll be posting a "blast from the past". Here's one from last year:

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Softness vs. Hardness

June 08 2009

Softness triumphs over hardness,
Feebleness over strength.
What is more malleable is always superior over that which is immoveable.
This is the principle of controlling things by going along with them,
...of mastery through adaptation.

- Lao Tzu
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The other day, a student emailed me and asked: "What is the point of Tai Chi practice? How effective is it at all, for self defense. Soft is weak, slow is not powerful and will not defend yourself. I don't get, what's the point? I want to defend myself powerfully, not be weak."

....And that, dear student,....is where your current weakness lies. It lies in your interpretation of "weak".

Now, this student is an "external" Wushu student.....not a Taiji student....he has been around long enough to know the movements, but not long enough to know the "art" yet. I pondered for a day before responding to his email. At first, I took it sort of personally,....I thought he was putting down Taijiquan and labeling it a weak method. After thinking about his email, I realized that he was genuinely curious about something he does not understand.

I did write back, citing the above mentioned quote, and attempting to explain that Taijiquan does not teach one to be slow and weak. But how do you explain it while typing? Its something that has to be shown, experienced, felt. So, the next class the student was in, I introduced the "slow and low" approach to Taolu (forms) training. I had the whole class practice the 1st basic routine, with 2 stipulations: 1) They had 10 seconds to do each movement...they could NOT be done with a movement before the 10 second timer went off, and 2) Their upper body movements and lower body movements had to precisely timed to end at the same time....no stances being finished before the hand motions, and vice versa.

We did this exercise for about 10 minutes, and at first, I noticed that everyone "cheated", by establishing the stance first, then finishing with their arm or hand movements. After the exercise, I mentioned that they would need to work on moving slowly, in order to move quickly in an effective manner. I said "Lao Tzu has a quote...."Softness triumphs over hardness, Feebleness over strength.What is more malleable is always superior over that which is immoveable.This is the principle of controlling things by going along with them,...of mastery through adaptation." This doesn't mean that you have to be weak, flaccid, lacking strength. It means that you shouldn't always rely on brute strength alone. If you determine victory solely by size and strength, you'll one day experience defeat when your strength wanes. You guys are using so much tension and strength just to do 10-second movments.....relax a little, take your time instead of timing yourself! Be aware of every movement, how it feels, where your body is in space at all times. Establish and keep your aligned posture". I then showed them some tips on how to move effectively while moving slowly.

After another 15 minutes of practice, they were beginning to get a bit more versed in moving slowly.....not quite picture perfect Taiji form, but they at least were getting the idea. I ended the exercise with "That, everyone....is Taiji. It doesn't matter what movements you do, so long as you keep Taiji principles. You don't know the principles by academic standards, but your felt them tonight. Now, lets do some self defense!"

I noticed, that all the students moved a little more swiftly, with a little more flow and little more agility. Without much thought, all the students applied "ting jin" (listening energy) instead of merely throwing strikes and kicks in hopes that they would hit something, or put up a blind block or blind parry. At the end of class, I said "Thanks for practicing Taiji with me tonight. All of you fought well in the self defense drills......we do the same in Taiji class....different form movements though. Other than that, know that true martial arts use BOTH hard and soft energy.....never just one or the other."

As we were prepping the studio to leave for the night, the student who sent me the "what's the point of Taiji?" email, approached me and said "Thanks for answering my questions". I laughed and said "YOU answered your questions....by struggling through what you initially thought was soft and weak. Now you know how to adapt to your sparring partner's movements and attitudes"

Hopefully, this student will understand how softness and hardness, can pretty much be the "same"......

Want to be a Martial Arts instructor? Then act like one.

2010-02-12T16:03:00.000-08:00

This blog post is mainly for students who want to be an instructor someday. If you're already on your way up the ranks in your study, then kudos to you.....you've realized that martial arts is not some "get your black belt in a few weeks" kind of activity, and you've realized that attaining that black belt or instructor certificate does NOT make you an instant Master.

When you are authorized to instruct, keep these points in mind (these do not include the business aspects of running a school, but rather general points on teaching and keeping up on your training):

As a teacher, realize that people start studying martial arts for different reasons. These reasons include, but are not limited to:

Self Defense
Mental discipline
Physical fitness
Recreation/sport
Making new friends
Hobby
Fun
Get in touch with one's own culture
Stress relief

Whatever the reason your new students choose to study martial arts, assure them that they will find the benefit they are looking for, and more. Remember, the students are not you.....if a student wants a hobby, then don't expect them to attend every class every day right off the bat, as you did when you were a beginner.

Plan your curriculum in such a way that students get a bit of their goals at each class.

Your class should include activities that will allow students to practice not only their fundamentals, but their forms, self defense, sparring (if applicable), and new belt rank elements (if applicable).
Class activities should be geared in such a way as to allow students to appreciate the traditional aspects of your art, as well as modern methods of training.
Don't be afraid to try new things. The traditional rote method in which you trained was probably great for you, but probably will not be as enjoyable by others.....don't take this as an insult. After all, everyone is different in their learning styles.

Praise students and correct students as necessary.

Give compliments for improvements, good effort and good attitude. Don't give compliments blindly. If students get a compliment for mediocre effort, they will grow accustomed to mediocre techniques.
Nip disrespectful behavior in the bud right away. If someone is acting up, stop it immediately and very briefly explain why that behavior is not acceptable.

Keep your own training a priority on your schedule.

You can spout fortune cookie quotes all day long, but it won't make you a better teacher in the student's eyes unless you keep training yourself. If you are able to still train with your own teachers, then do it. Although "self teaching" is good, it doesn't replace training with a teacher.....whether it be in a seminar, workshop series, or even a quarterly visit with your teacher for an intensive training session.

Network with other Instructors in your area.

Visit other teachers in your area, get to know them. Networking is great, because it allows teachers to refer to each other for answers to questions or allows other teachers to refer students to your school if their school isn't offering what a visitor is looking for.
Field trips. It won't kill your art if you visit other schools. Ask instructors of other schools if you can bring your class to train with them for a field trip, so that you may get familiar with other arts and learn to appreciate and respect them. Who knows, you might get another school coming to your place to learn about your style.

Last but not least, ACT LIKE A TEACHER.

Come to class on time, be dressed and ready for class. If you can't be there on time, be sure that someone can cover for you....don't leave the students waiting outside the Dojo door wondering where you are.

Don't talk badly about other teachers, especially well established teachers. It could come back to bite you in the rear end. One time, I was talking to a teacher, who proceeded to talk about an esteemed teacher in our city, and how much different the other teacher's teaching style was. It was evident that this teacher was hinting that the other teacher's style was "wrong". Come on, if you have to pick apart someone else's teaching style, it doesn't impress me nor does it make me think you are any better of a teacher than the person you're talking ill about. Want to lose respect? Then just keep talking trash about others.
Be yourself, and balance your personality with your art. If you like to laugh, then add a bit of humor to your classes. Don't try to be like your own teacher.....everybody teaches differently. However, see below.
Keep bawdy humor and conversation out of your classes. Some of your students might take offense. Does'nt matter if bawdy humor is part of your personality....it does'nt belong in class.
Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT flirt with people in your class. Do not abuse your level or authority. Doesn't matter if the student flirted with you first....if you go along with it, you've just created a very awkward situation.

These are just a few tips for a new teacher. Remember, being a teacher doesn't give you ultimate power over others.......instead, it gives you the responsibility to show others how to to find their own power.

2010-02-08T16:19:00.001-08:00

THQ announces impending release of "All Star Karate", a game for the Wii. http://ping.fm/vhzXL

2010-02-02T11:31:00.001-08:00

Shared by Sifu Carlton Doup: Great "Stop Bullying" resource for kids & parents http://ping.fm/tv7WL

2010-01-26T10:26:00.001-08:00

This vid, "Tai Chi Masters Battle", has been around for quite a while, but I guffaw every time I see it. Is it only funny to me because I'm a Taiji player? http://ping.fm/Lf3PT

2010-01-26T10:11:00.001-08:00

Great blog post by Karate instructor Jason Stanley: "The prejudiced sign installer"...http://ping.fm/vFjt0

A comprehensive to Martial Arts Tournaments for Newbies: "Forms competition"

2010-01-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

In our first 2 sections of this guide, we discussed the pro's and con's of martial arts competitions, and tips and tricks for training for competition. In this section, we will discuss forms competition. (A few tips from section 2 will be touched up again in this section).

So, your Teacher thinks you are ready for your first martial arts tournament, and you decide on competing in forms divisions. You've trained hard for months, you ironed and packed all your stuff just right. Its the day of the tournament, and you've gotten a good night's sleep, had a good breakfast, you're early at the tournament venue to check in (since you pre-registered)......

NOW WHAT????

Preparation:

Most likely, the tournament will be held at a large gymnasium. When you enter the the gymnasium, treat it the same way as your Dojo, Dojang, Kwoon, etc. Bow at the entrance as you normally would at your school. You might see other people not doing this, but this will prepare your mind for the task at hand by an action that is very familiar

Choose a main "meeting spot" and seating for your family and/friends first. Don't leave your family and friends high and dry while you run around nervously.

Most likely, other members of your school who are competing and the coaches/teachers, will sit together. You should sit with your classmates and teachers to keep the comraderie and morale up with each other.

For many tournaments, forms divisions are run off first, followed by sparring. So don't put on your sparring gear just yet!

At registration/check in, you may be given bracelets or tags with your division numbers or division names on them. KEEP THESE WITH YOU DURING THE TOURNAMENT as they will help you remember your divisions (especially if you compete in more than one division).

Get to know the dimensions of the forms competition rings. For open tournaments (that allow all styles to compete), you'll probably find that all the rings are cordoned off as large squares. The size of the rings may vary from event to event, but they are usually between 18' X18' and 20' X 20'. "Hard style" forms (Karate, etc) are usually ran in these rings.

Soft stylists (Wushu, Kung Fu, etc): In the event that there is not a regulation Wushu ring or Wushu/Kung fu carpet, you will need to address the judges to request extra room to do your form. This is so the judges can temporarily halt the action in adjacent ring(s) so you can have the room to do your form. Wushu stylist frequently do this. (more about addressing the judges, asking for more room, etc later in this section!)

Be in a clean, pressed uniform. I know, you're probably thinking "Duh!", but I've seen many competitors come into the ring with dirty wrinkled uniforms. I drop points when I see that!

If possible, research and read the rules of the tournament before the day of the event. In open tournaments, it is common that the event may use NBL (National Black Belt League), or SKIL (Sport Karate International League) rules for forms, sparring, scoring procedures, etc. Click here for NBL and SKIL rules and regulations for forms and sparring

For Wushu tournaments, the rules are completely different. Get to know the rules beforehand! Click here for USAWKF tournament rules

Don't try to change your form at the last minute to include fancy moves just to get an edge on your competition. That should have been done months ago with your teacher or coach, don't try it yourself on the day of the tournament. What you didn't have yesterday, definitely will NOT manifest today (unless you are a very seasoned competitor)!

You are responsible for listening to the announcements for forms divisions. These announcements will state the division name and ring location. Some tournaments will have you go to "staging" well before your division to make sure everyone is present for your division. Staging is just check in....so don't panic yet!

If staging has indeed been done, that's your cue to really warmup and get focused. Don't pay attention to all the other people warming up in your division, and try not to get intimidated by their show of skills. Believe it or not, some people will actually try to "psych out" their competitors by doing difficult moves or jumps while trying to make it look effortless. Don't fall into the "warmup trap". Warmup on your own or with your group, and STAY FOCUSED.

Performance:

Division ring presence:

Sit quietly with your forms division. Be respectful and conduct yourself with good manners. Do not splay your legs out sloppily, and don't talk while someone is in the ring performing.
Most tournaments will state the name of the next competitor, and the name of the person "on deck" (i.e., the next after). For example...."John Smith next performing! Kate Johnson on deck!" Upon hearing your name as "on deck", raise your hand and nod in acknowledgment.
Upon hearing your name to perform, stand up smartly, turn around to quickly adjust your uniform if need be, and smartly approach the edge of the ring. (if its your first time, watch the others). Bow or salute, walk confidently to your starting spot.

You may start your form after finding your starting point, or you may choose to "address the judges". This address introduces yourself, the school your represent, your teacher, and the name of your form. Address the judges confidently but without cockiness, speak loudly and clearly, and salute the judges when given permission to begin. Example:

"Good morning, judges, my name is Jane Smith, and I represent the Metro Martial Arts Studio and Sensei John Doe from Anytown, USA. Today I will perform the kata "Jitte". With your permission judges, may I please begin?"

Your Form performance:

Upon getting to your starting spot, take a couple of deep breaths to compose your mind, then start when you're ready. Don't take forever to ready yourself.

When performing, keep your eyes focused on your "opponents", don't let your eyes wander. Do your form just as practiced, keeping aware of good stance, good power, confident demeanor, etc.

When your form is complete, stand quietly in attention position, and await the scores from the judges. As hard as it might be after a strenuous routine, try to control your breathing so you do not looking like you're huffing and puffing. When given your scores, the judges with call out each judge's score, then the Final Average Score. Salute the judges, walk backward to the edge of the ring, salute again, and walk smartly back to the group to sit down again. You might encounter a few competitors congratulating you on a job well done....say "thank you" quietly and sit down. (give your group members the same quiet kudos when they are done with their forms as well.)

Weapons:

Make sure your weapon is free of defects. Swords must be securely peened or screwed into the handles. Staffs and spears and other long weapons must not have cracks in the shaft, spearheads securely screwed on. Always have a spare weapon on hand.

Do not wave your weapon around carelessly before your division. Keep a controlled demeanor .

If addressing the judges before your form, allow the judges to examine your weapon before your performance: "Judges, do you wish to inspect my weapon?"

Oops! I made a mistake in my form! What do I do???

Don't panic. It may happen at your first real tournament. Hopefully you've practiced hard enough to not mess up, but sometimes things happen and you lose your concentration. No worries......when you realize you are "lost", make up some movements to keep you moving while you find your place in the form again. When you find your place, pick up where you left off. (during your training phase, you should practice your favorite moves and "slow dramatic postures" for times such as this)

The trick here, is to NOT let the judges see that you made a mistake. Do NOT look at the floor. Do NOT snap your fingers or touch your head in the "trying to remember" actions. If possible, do not ask the judges if you can start over. Although most tournaments will allow this, your score will be reduced significantly if you start over due to forgetfulness.

If you do have to start over, its okay. Its not the end of the world. Keep your emotions in check and perform as if it never happened. Remain focused. Keep stoic at the end of your performance and try not to show your disappointment until later. This will show your fortitude and the judges will remember your strength for the next time they see you.

If a mistake in your form is due to outside circumstances, like if an adjacent ring's competitor accidentally throws his weapon into your ring, or if someone is not paying attention and inadvertently walks into your ring (it happens!), the head judge will most likely stop your performance, and allow you to start again without any score penalties.

Tie breakers:
There's the possibility of ties....in the event of a tie, each tournament has their own way of breaking them. Most tournaments will allow the tied scorers to perform the *same* form again to be scored again; other tournaments might have you perform a *different* form to deter a bias. Some tournaments will allow for judges majority vote. Whatever the outcome, be prepared to perform again.....and have a 2nd form in your repertoire in the event the judges ask for a different form.

After the scores and awards:

Regardless of the outcome, always thank the judges personally with a handshake and a sincere thank you. Sometimes, you may be able to ask a particular judge what advice they may be able to give you for the future. (wait to ask until a break between divisions or when you see them during a floor break)

Thank your fellow division competitors. Congratulate the top winners, and see if they would be willing to give you tips as well!

Do NOT express your disappointment at not winning to your school group, family, or friends while at the tournament. This reflects on your school. You don't want to be thought of as a person whose sole reason for living is "Winning". Instead, express your desire to *work harder* for next time!

Your first forms competition might be a nerve wracking experience at first, but remember that every competitor starts out with the first experience. As your experience grows, you'll settle into the tournament routine a little easier.

Be sure to check out the tournament rules links I included above.

Next post, section 4, will include sparring procedures......

Martial Arts Tournaments: A comprehensive guide for newbies, part 2 "Beginner's tips"

2010-01-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

In part one, we discussed the pro's and con's of tournaments. If you choose to compete, congratulations! You're taking a big step in gaining a different aspect of your training. Competition can indeed be an intimidating thought, but here are some tips for the first timer:

This portion of the guide with be broken into 4 sections: "Forms", "Sparring", "Travel", and "Day of".

First off: Watch a tournament FIRST. Get a feel for the atmosphere. As you watch, put yourself in the shoes of the people on the tournament floor....they have to listen attentively to all instructions given over the public announcement system, they have to know where their divisions are being held, they have to stay focused and calm during the din of people warming up or practicing on the side. Tournaments are much like rank tests, in that you have to do your very best, but unlike exams at your school, there are so many things going on at the tournament floor at one time. Get familiar with the way things are run, how the event goes, etc.

Another "first off".....do realize that you are not "obligated" to win an award at your first tournament. Your teacher won't demote you if you don't take home an award. Just do your best and learn from the results. Also realize that you are not guaranteed an award just because you show up to the tournament. Surprisingly, some first-timers (mostly young children) believe that they get a prize for being brave enough to show their skill in front of other people. While judges would surely want to give prizes for all people that attend and do their very best, the reality of competition is that limited awards are given. This is usually limited to 1st, 2nd, 3rd place in divisions, and Grand champion awards.

On to the tips......

FORMS
1) When you do decide to compete at an upcoming tournament, let your teacher or coach know of your intention to compete. The sooner the better. Don't tell them a few days beforehand! Your teachers and coaches will help you in choosing a routine for forms competition, or coach you in your sparring tactics, or both.

2)If you choose to get a group together for group forms or open skits, be sure that there is ample time to prepare and practice together. Don't just throw together some mish-mash thinking "oh, let's just do Pinan sandan all together". You must practice and detail your group's form diligently.

3) Practice your form facing in different directions in your school, and in places other than your school. You want to be able to perform that routine *anywhere*. My tournament team used to do a drill called "crazy house", where they would do their individual routines while the rest of the team would be a "housefull of of crazies"....we'd turn up the stereo so loud the walls vibrated, the other team members would spar around the person doing their form, or make loud raucous noise. The idea here was to train the person doing forms, to be able to perform at their best regardless of distraction. Practicing forms in unfamiliar places also helps, because let's face it, your probably won't be competing at your school!

4) Ask you teacher to hold a "Mock Tournament". This is a fun event where each student gets to come up in front of a "panel" of judges to perform their routine or spar using tournament rules. All students get a chance to learn about scoring rules, be a "judge", and be a "competitor".

5) Practice your form as slow as you can, paying attention to good form and technique execution. Practice your form as fast as you can, while trying to keep good form. Practice with no kiai, practice with kiai. Practice both slow and fast with just stance work. Think of different ways to practice your form inside and out!

SPARRING
(These tips are based on point fighting, no contact, light or semi contact. Although we're not including MMA, kickboxing, etc in this section, most of the tips can indeed be applicable to mma and kickboxing)

1) Be sure you have all safety equipment for practice. Mouth guards, head gear, torso protection (if allowed at the tournament), gloves, shin pads, foot pads, etc.

2) Spar with people of different rank at your school. Don't regulate yourself to sparring only with those in your rank. If you have friends in other martial arts, ask if its okay if they visit your school to spar with you so you can get a feel of how other martial arts styles spar. While I see no problem with just going to a martial arts friend's house to spar together, I do think it is wise to have a more experienced practitioner there with you to give you tips and to see to safety protocol.

3) Spar with control. No one ever gets points for being an out of control puncher or kicker. In fact, most tournaments will disqualify you if you are in a no contact or light contact match and you continually hit hard uncontrollably.

4) Work on your cardio, work on your stamina. Jump rope, pushups, blitzes, situps, shadow boxing, squats, speed drills, ....don't forget those! All the cool techniques you know and all the cool combinations you have are useless if you run out of steam. You need stamina and you need to stay strong for sparring matches. A 3 minute round can seem like a very long time if you're not in shape.

5) Work on keeping your cool. If you get tagged, accept it and move on. Don't spar in anger....it only gives you tunnel vision and might end up with you being out of control in your strikes and kicks.

TRAVELING TO TOURNAMENTS
(Whether the tournament you attend is just across town, or across the country, keep these travel tips in mind)

1) A few days before: Place as much of your gear in one place. No need to pack it yet, because most likely you're going to class and practicing and you're carrying your stuff with you to class. As long as you can set aside your stuff, it will be easier to pack the day before you leave for the tournament (that's explained later).

2) List what you will need,.... Here's some things to consider:
a) You'll want an extra uniform for each division. An extra uniform for forms, and if you wear something different for sparring, and extra set of clothes for that division. You never know what could happen....you might snag your uniform and rip it, or someone might spill their gatorade on you. Its better to pack extra uniforms rather than compete with a uniform with gatorade or mustard on it! Extra shoes and socks (if your art wears shoes) is a must also.
b) If doing weapons, always bring an extra weapon. If you accidentally break that staff or spear during warmup, or if your sword somehow falls apart, you'll need that replacement weapon. If , before the tournament day, you suspect that your main weapon is going to crack or is loose in areas, replace it as soon as you can AS WELL AS bring an extra weapon.
c) Extra contact lenses and accessories, or extra glasses if possible. Some people wear prescription safety goggles for sparring.
d) Duct tape! Preferably in a color that matches your sparring gear. You might need to do a quick repair on a ripped section of foam on your gloves or foot pads.
e) Snacks...water. Trail mix, granola bars, energy bars....anything that you can nibble on to keep hunger at bay. You don't want to eat a big meal just before your division, so nibbling on something and sipping water while you're waiting will keep your energy up. Wait to eat that big meal until AFTER the tournament!
f) Iron or clothes steamer. Chinese martial artists who wear silk uniforms consider this a MUST HAVE.
g) Travel documents: Passports, plane, train or bus tickets, ID, medical info, medical alert tags, an "in case of emergency" card in your wallet or purse.
h) Medications (if you take them), and first aid kit.

3) When packing, make sure you use a bag or luggage that will fit all your things in such a way that things are not "jammed" in your bag. Ifr possible, get some "packing cubes" for small items such as medical or eyewear supplies, snacks, etc. Just before a sparring division, is not the time to freak out about not finding your mouthguard. In fact, if you have people with you that are in the audience, its a good idea to have them hold onto an extra mouth guard in the event you get get distracted and lose your mouthguard.

4) Plan ahead.....think "what if??" What if I lose my mouthguard (see above)? What if someone mistakenly takes one of my gloves that I left near the ring? What if I (gosh forbid!) lose my belt? Think about this well beforehand, and make the choice as to whether or not you want to bring extra items to replace such things.

DAY OF THE TOURNAMENT

1) Get a good night's rest the night before! Get up early enough to eat a good breakfast and allow the food to settle a bit before competing.
2) Make sure you uniforms are ironed and neat. Nobody likes to see forms performed in a wrinkled uniform....especially the judges!
3) If you're staying at a hotel, leave unecessarry items at the hotel. Sorry, but you should leave that Gameboy or PSP at the hotel in the safe. Take your mp3 player if it helps you relax before your division, but don't walk around with the earbuds hanging out of your ears the whole time. Leave your laptop in the safe....why would you bring a laptop to a tournament anyway? You should be concentrating on your performance, not the internet, email, or work project on your laptop!
4) Get to the tournament venue with enough time to check in (if you've pre-registered) or to register. Give yourself time to look at the forms areas and sparring areas to get accustomed to the size of the areas. Be sure to ask your coach or teacher any questions now....don't wait until just before your division starts.
5) Warmup lightly....don't go full power continuously while you're waiting for you division. You've hopefully done the power training already in the months and weeks prior, so use this time to keep warm and envision your forms or sparring.....imagine your moves and techniques being done in the best way you can muster.
6) Keep hydrated!! If it is your first tournament, the excitement will make you forget that you're probably sweating while you're warming up and waiting for your divisions. Keep sipping that water!
7) Be a good example. Kids....Don't run around the venue with your friends, talk badly about other people, or play around or yell. Introduce yourself to other kids, be friendly but not playing around. Adults....follow the same protocol as kids. Conduct yourself respectfully inside and outside the tournament rings. Whether you attain awards or not, remain respectful, humble, and gracious.
8) Do your best! You are always a winner if you commit to doing your best!
9) Congratulate your fellow competitors and thank the judges with a salute and handshake after your division. (more about good manners in the ring in part 3!)

That's the quick lowdown of simple tips to get ready for a tournament. In Part 3, we will discuss the detailed aspects of the forms competition, what the judges will look for, how scoring is done, etc.

Martial Arts Tournaments: A comprehensive guide for newbies, part 1, "Tournaments, good or bad?"

2010-01-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

Tournaments: Good or bad?

Tournament competition is purely a voluntary thing. You don't *have* to compete in a tournament. But, if you don't try it at least once in your martial arts course of study, you'll be missing out on some wonderful lessons. If your school allows its students to participate in tournaments, I suggest you consider at least watching one.

Some schools believe that tournaments only teach the aspects of "winning and losing", and that tournaments "cheapen" the true teachings of the arts. On the other hand, some schools believe that tournaments can have many benefits. Let's discuss the pro's and con's:

Pro's

You learn how to play the "tournament game"

Tournaments have rules, and to be successful, you want to get to know the rules and the strategies based around these rules. In any event, the judges panel determines your scores. Your teachers and coaches will show you how to keep the judge's attention, how to perform so as to highlight your strongest points, and show you how to set an good example that will allow the judges to remember you at future tournaments. Cheating has no place in tournaments, neither does bullying competitors to intimidate them.

You learn sportsmanship

Its not whether you win or lose, its how you play the game".....a very often quoted phrase by coaches and teachers everywhere, in all sports. If you win, win with humility and appreciation for your competitors, and if you lose, lose with grace, dignity, and sense of learning what you can do to improve for the next time.
In order to gain the benefits of tournaments, you must first determine what the terms "win" and "lose" mean to YOU.
What IS "winning", anyway? Does it merely mean that you get to take home a shiny trophy or a beautiful gold medal? Does it mean having bragging rights at your school? Does it mean that you're better than everybody? Does it mean having people recognize you as a "winner"? Yes, while "winning" does entail attaining a prize, the "Prize" must be thought of as much more than a medal or a bunch of plastic and wood assembled together to look like a trophy. You must think of the "prizes" such as learning to see what you can improve upon, even if you've bested the rest of your competition, and realizing that the confidence of a "win" will motivate you to work harder. Besides....a trophy only means you were the best on THAT day.....you'll need to keep working hard because everyone that didn't get that gold medal will be working hard to get it next time!

What is "losing"? Does it mean not getting first place? Does it mean not getting a trophy or a ribbon? Does it mean that your teacher will be disappointed in you? Does it mean your skill is bad? For some, the term "lose" means "to fail". However, it can also mean that you've parted with something you currently have, unwillingly, or by accident or misfortune. Now think about it....if you've never had that particular tournament's gold medal or trophy, or if you've never had a "win" at a tournament, how can you "lose" it?
Here, sportsmanship is key. Both "winners" and "losers" should realize that learning is the key element to such competitions. Win with humility, lose with grace.

You learn how to train beyond your normal routine

I tell students "Oh sure, you won a gold medal, and that's wonderful. But, all those other people in your division with be working hard to see to it that they get the gold medal next time....so train harder and don't get a big head!"

If you're used to doing your forms in such a way that your winded after a single routine, train to do the form in such a powerful dynamic way so you're exhausted after a single routine. Work on the weak spots on your form. If you're sparring, try sparring one-handed to work on your evasion skills. Spar with friends in other martial arts so you can spar with people that fight differently than your classmates. Ask your teachers or coaches for private sessions so you can get some one on one coaching on forms or sparring. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone, because when the tournament day comes, you'd be surprised at how your skill might dwindle when the nervous energy kicks in.

You learn about other people and martial arts

If you compete in "Open" tournaments (where all arts are welcome to compete, not just one type of art), you'll see a lot of martial artists from different martial arts.....Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, etc. Feel free to meet these people, strike up a conversation with them, watch the other artists in action. You'll learn to appreciate other martial systems this way!

You learn from seasoned competitors

Watch and learn from tournament veterans from not only your own school, but from other schools as well. Learn how they approach the forms ring or the sparring ring. Watch their concentration or execution of movement. "Learning from those who are farther down the path, with show you what to expect as you keep walking the path."

Now, let's look at the possible con's. However, these disadvantages only happen if all you are concerned about is "winning".........

Cons (if all you're concerned about is winning, then you just might......)

....Lose sight of the true nature of your art

Martial Arts, first and foremost, teach us much more than winning trophies. They teach us self defense, courage, tenacity, the culture, lineage and history of your art, respect for those who have mastered the art, the importance of hard work, philosophies of the past, and a ton of other things. If all that concerns you is a trophy, then you'll only have a roomful of trophies that will eventually gather dust or break, rather than a treasure trove of life lessons.

.....Get a big head

Being proud of your wins accomplishments is one thing, thinking you're the the universe's gift to martial arts is another! If the first thing that comes out of your mouth when you meet someone at a party is: "My name is ______, and I'm a regional forms champion in Karate", then be prepared to not talk to anyone at that party. (unless of course, you meet up with another "big head", but at that point, you'd be playing the "one-upmanship" game). Be proud and feel good about your accomplishments, yet allow that pride to motivate you to work hard and assist those less experienced. Bragging doesn't win you any groupies.

.....or, you lose confidence and give up entirely....

I've met people who competed in two, maybe three tournaments, did not attain medals or trophies , and gave up entirely. They said "Why bother? Everyone else is so much better, faster....I'll never win....blah blah blah"

When I began competing in tournaments as a brown belt in Karate (yes a brown belt...it took me that long to work up the courage to try and compete), I did not attain any awards that first time at a closed Karate tournament (only members of my style competed). Nor the 2nd time. Nor the 3rd. In fact, in took me until I was almost a 2nd degree black belt to win a 3rd place trophy. I didn"t give up, I kept training, I kept pushing forward. Soon....I began to attain 2nd place awards, then 1st place awards. Then I set my sights on open tournaments and regional award rankings. I went up the regional rankings and became 1st in the Pac-West NBL (National Black Belt League) rankings. Then guess what? After some years in regionals tournaments, I decided to go National....several years of hard work in attaining awards at National level, I made the plunge to compete at the World level. The hard work, the strenuous pain of training, the sweat, the tears, the toil....all were rewarded with a World Championship under my belt. If I can do it, being that I started out being the most UNconfident person, I know you can do it too.

So, are tournaments good or bad? Well, it depends on how you approach your training for tournaments, and whether or not you see "success" as a black or white. Given the correct mindset, tournaments are wonderful venues to learn a lot about yourself, and to learn important life lessons.

In part 2, we'll discuss tips for the tournament first-timer, travel tips, etc.

Movement is indeed healthy

2010-01-20T22:49:00.001-08:00

Too much sitting may be dangerous to health http://ping.fm/RnhYR

'Nuff said...keep moving....keep healthy!

Efficient minds, efficient plans, efficient movement

2010-01-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

I was teaching self defense drills to a group of teenagers the other day, and found myself saying over and over: "Close the gap! Close the gap!" My focus for that day, was to have the students get familiar with getting into an effective position in relation to their opponents in a quick and efficient manner.

I found that the kids were running in to close the distance between themselves and their attacker to throw an elbow strike, instead of possibly using a longer weapon like a finger jab to the eyes or similar) to "fold into" the gap. I also found that many times they would strike once then walk a few steps around their opponent then strike again, instead of maybe striking or kneeing as they took a step. Another thing was that many of them would use primarily only one side of their body. One teen said "i can't think of stuff to throw. This is hard".

The thing that made them more aware of the use of all their weapons and fighting ranges, was to give them an imaginary situation:

"Let's pretend you're all Captains of a fierce army in old China. You've got Spear men, you've got swordsmen, you've got horsemen, you've got archers. Which of the groups would you prefer to have out in front when your army runs in to meet the enemy?"

One teen raised his hand. "Probably the spear guys, 'cuz they have long spears and can clear a way for the other guys."

"Good call. Who would follow the spear men?" I asked.

A gal raised her hand. "How about the sword guys? While the spear guys are keeping the enemy busy, the sword men can go through and cut the enemies who are confused and distracted".

"Okay, nice way to look at it" I said. "Then what?"

All the rest of the kids began to blurt out things like "The horses! then the horses!" or "No no! The horses should go first and run over people, then the spears then swords". "Hey what about the archers?" "Archers should shoot first, before the other guys come in...to kill some first!" I heard many great "tactical plans" as I listened to the din of voices.

"Okay, Halt!" I thundered. "So, we have great plans...all of them different. But, we all agree that your army shouldn"t just run in all at once, right?"

There was a very brief silence. A boy held up his hand. "Sifu, you think we're just running into our partners in the drills, huh??"

Smart kid.

"Yes, use a distraction, a longer weapon such as feet or finger jab, even throwing something....then fold in using your other weapons. Keep in mind, you should always have archers trying to shoot when its safe to do so and so not to shoot their own troops! hahahaha!" The room erupted in laughter.

"Also, you must make sure all your swords are sharp and that the troops know exactly where to cut....they can't mess around like light saber fights on Star Wars!"

"Okay! I think I get it!" another gal said. "Can we try it again, Sifu?"

"Sure! Knock yourselves out!" More laughter.

Now I don't claim to know anything about battlefield tactics, so you military people can stop snickering at me...hahahaha! I just wanted my kids to take a look at their training from a different angle, rather than jsut correcting them and saying "no, do it this way"

As the kids practiced, they flowed much better, and their entries were cleaner and their techniques a little more precise. Their efficiency of movement began to improve, and I was But why was it that they fell short of flowing? Where was the efficiency of movement hiding?

Granted, it does take some training to learn how to move efficiently..."maximum effect, minimum effort". What many people have for a time, is not a lack of flwing moves, but a lack of flowing thought. Do you remember your first day at sparring or self defense drills? You felt kind of awkward, not knowing if what you were doing was correct, or what move to do next, didn't you? All the distractions of not knowing or worrying, froze your mind and stalled it a bit. You might aggravate it by thoughts like "I should know this by now", "Why am I making so many mistakes?" or "Why is the lower belt not having as hard of a time as me?"

These distractions prevent the mind from "simply thinking simply". Know your plan, but don't freak out if your plan doesn't unfold the way you planned it. Find a way around the obstacles and carry on. Shoot a few arrows first to see how it affects the situation before running in headlong. Push forward intently, knowing where you should cut, thrust, or ride. Disjointed thoughts can result in disjointed technique execution.....or worse yet...death on the battlefield.

Efficiency of movement goes hand in hand with efficiency of mind. However, realize that it does take time, training and practice to train the mind and body. My Taijiquan teachers say: "Where the mind moves, the body moves." That, is sooooo true!

Okay troops...get out there!

Can very young children learn martial arts?

2009-12-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

Ninja Turtles. Power Rangers. Kung Fu Panda. Best friend Johnny does Tae Kwon Do. There are so many reasons why little ones want to learn martial arts. Can 3 to 4 year old children learn martial arts? Indeed they can....well...."martial arts themed movements", actually.

I have a class, called "Tiny Tigers", that is an activity that prepares them for the "Mighty Mites" class (5 to 7 years old). I've modified the curriculum so that the children are exposed to martial arts themed activities that introduce the following aspects of martial arts training:

- Taking turns, waiting for their turn at an activity
- Following simple instructions
- Raising a hand to ask a question, no interrupting
- Learning responsibility for their actions
-Empathy
-Self confidence
-Encouraging others

And.....its fun!

Notice that although martial arts techniques are indeed taught in the class, they are secondary to the above list. The class does not teach complete forms,....instead, I introduce movement combinations taken from our forms , and play a "follow the leader" and "what comes next?" type of game. The kids love it, and I venture to say that most times, the kids don't really realize they're learning martial arts. Its difficult for 3 year olds to remember 12 to 20 movment sets.....combinations work just fine for learning "sequencing".

Some teachers might say that "dumbing down" a martial art for very young children is not really teaching "martial art", but I beg to differ. After all, isn't it the job of any teacher to break down concepts of their curriculum into its basic elements, so that the student can better understand the concept? Not just memorize the concept or operation, but to really understand it?

We as martial arts teachers have a responsibility to not think of them as "little adults". Very young children are growing both physically and mentally. To put very young children through a very intense workout that is similar to an adults class and that is beyond a child's natural physical ability to "play", can be damaging to their growing bodies. Not to mention, an overly strict disciplinarian atmosphere that Adults would have to problem with, will turn off a child. There has to be a firm hand in the disciplinarian factor of martial arts for kids, (i.e. "you kicked Jimmy for no reason while I was talking. This is not allowed. Its time for a sit-out"), but to punish a child for not getting a technique correct is overkill. If a class for young kids is conducted like an adults class, many times a 3 year old will not understand why they're doing pushups for talking out, or why they have to do a timeout or a sit-out for trying his newly learned roundhouse kick at little Jimmy.

Another responsibility we have is to encourage less able children as much as a "gifted child". I once witnessed a coach pay more attention to a child that could do aerial cartwheel after only 2 weeks, and pretty much ignore another child that was working so hard at a regular cartwheel on his hands. I could see that the second child was trying to gain the approval of the coach, but the child was dismissed with a "Yes, great effort, but your goal is to get it down like Tommy".

One thing I always try to do all during a class, is make the expectations for the class known. At the beginning of a class, I might say "Okay, My expectations for today are: Try your best, Keep your hands to yourself unless I say its okay to work together, and no talking while Sifu is talking". Each class has a different set of 3 expectations.....I try not to list all my expectations at one class....they won't remember them. I then give 3 choices for the "timeout" activity (if someone breaks one of the 3 rules. After I give my 3 expectations and the children choose the timeout activity, I remind them throughout the whole class about the expectations. Most times, when a child does break a rule, they know exactly what the timeout factor is.....after all, they chose it!

One word of advice to teachers that choose to teach very young children. Speak to the parents beforehand to let them know that "side coaching" is not allowed. Explain that it will confuse the child if the parent is shouting "No!, use your other hand!" or "Timmy, listen to Sifu or you're going home!" The children need to learn to follow instructions from another authority figure, and to learn that the martial arts studio is a special place and martial arts classes are a privelege. Respect for the teacher is something we want the child to learn on his own, not just because the parent tells him/her to. If a parent shouts or attempts to coach the child during class, it tends to make the child think that the parent knows martial arts too, and is a martial arts teacher as well.....which sometimes, can lead the child to view the teacher as "bossy" just like the parent.

A word of advice to the parents of young children in martial arts: Now, as parents, we all want our children to do well in activities. But while we're on the subject, please leave the teaching to the teachers. For many children, this activity is something of "their own", and it gives them pride and self confidence to be able to do something on their own. Although I do try to teach the difference between "right leg" and "left leg", I'm not going to take it personally if they kick with a left leg when I ask for a right leg kick.....so why should the parent? Parents, keep in mind, that your child's progress (or lack thereof) is not necessarily a reflection on you.....instead it just shows me their learning curve so that I can better teach them and improve my curriculum.

-------------------------------------

Funny story....a few weeks ago, there was a new 4 year old child trying out one of my classes. I asked him why he wanted to do kung fu. "I already know kung fu", he said proudly.

"Oh?? How so? Who is your Sifu?" I asked.

"My Mastersifu is Po".

"Oh....Kung Fu Panda. Did you notice that Po had to work very hard to get good at Kung Fu?"

"Oh I'm as good as Po. I've practiced for a very long time. Are you a mastersifu?"

"Um....yes....I'm a mastersifu." (I didn't have the heart to tell him that the term mastersifu was incorrect. Although I do see why the movie introduced the term as such).

The hard part for me was, to teach him for that introductory lesson without him feeling "less than" for not knowing what a horse stance was or what an instep kick was. He had such an expectation that my class would be like "Kung Fu Panda", that he would sit himself out when we saw we didn't say "Skadoosh" or have a "secret pinky technique". One of my kids asked him "Hey, why don't you do instep kick with us? Its like this", and proceeded to demonstrate. "Oh, I already know how to do that. Its easy."....he then walked up to my kicking shield. "Wait wait.....you gotta wait your turn. Its Alex's turn right now". But he proceeded to kick at my shield with his toes. Ouch. That hurt. I could tell he kicked with his toes. He sat back down. "What's the matter?" I asked. "You did okay! Did you kick with your top of foot or your toes?" "My top of foot!" He rolled his eyes. Did a 4 year old just roll his eyes at me?

"Well good. You can continue to practice it if you'd like".

"Nah. I know it. And I'm tired anyway".

Definitely, this child NEEDS a type of regular activity and self discipline that martial arts training can bring.

Funnier thing is....sometimes I meet Grownups that are exactly like that.

2009-10-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

"When you meet your antagonist, do everything in a mild and agreeable manner. Let your courage be as keen, but at the same time as polished, as your sword."
- Richard Brinsley Sheridan, Irish dramatist & politician (1751 - 1816)

Great quote, and great advice for all martial artists. To many people that are somewhat new to martial arts, this quote might seem as if it says to be "nice" to your opponent,...to stand there and take the abuse, be it verbal or physical, and to not retort in harsh words or violent physical defense.

However, I see this quote a bit differently. "Mild and agreeable manner" doesn't necessarily describe "how" you do something....rather, I feel it means that your mind-set must be "mild", and "agreeable". That is, without panicked reactions and without actions that go overboard and uncontrolled. This type of mind-set is a product of many years of study, practice, and dedicated tenacity.....this is where a martial artist can be considered as "mature".

I'm a firm believer in that just as much as we should keep a good sword well maintained, we too, should keep ourselves well maintened as martial artists. If we use a sword constantly but do not take care of it, what happens? The blade may rust, it may go dull, its fittings may get grimy and all value of the sword will decrease to un-usability, no matter how much it is worth or what famous Smith forged the sword.

"Let your courage be as keen, but at the same time as polished, as your sword." ......as my Taijiquan Sifu once said...."practice well and the benefits are yours". Keep up on your maintenence....practice, practice....practice some more. Train. Read. Strive for improvement. Keep your "edge" keen, which in turn will keep your courage keen.

The Spear in Chinese culture, by David Mastro

2009-10-04T16:51:00.001-07:00

Many thanks to David Mastro, who srote this article and has given me permission to re-print it. Wonderful information!

The Spear in Chinese Martial Culture
by David Black Mastro

The spear has played a huge role in both hunting and fighting arts all over the world, and China, with her vast martial heritage, is no exception. In his excellent article, "The Spear: An Effective Weapon Since Antiquity", author Robert H. Dohrenwend, Ph.D., noted, "The most important weapons in the Chinese military were the bow and arrow and the spear (qiang), and there were specialized bodies of soldiers trained to use each weapon." In our modern age, where so much attention has been given to the more fantastic aspects of the Chinese martial arts, we would do well to remember Dohrenwend's observation. Chinese warriors relied on the fundamental missile and melee weapons of the time, just like everyone else: the bow & arrow, the spear/lance, and the sword & shield.

Another crucial aspect to understanding the reality of Chinese martial arts (or any other martial arts, for that matter) in their proper historical context is knowing just what the term "martial art" means. The word "martial" comes from the Latin term martialis, which literally means "of or belonging to Mars (the Roman god of war)". Thus, a "martial art" is a "war art". The Chinese term wushu is synonymous with "martial art", though when used in the historical sense it should not be confused with the "wushu" of today, which is a type of performance art that was developed during the Cultural Revolution. In their useful text, Chinese Martial Arts Training Manuals--A Historical Survey, Brian Kennedy and Elizabeth Guo soberly noted, "For most of China's history, martial arts had one purpose--imposing one's will upon another by force or fear." The simple spear played a major part in this grim task.

According to Robert Dohrenwend, bronze metallurgy originated in the Mediterranean some 5000 years ago, and spread eastwards via Central Asia, and eventually to China. These early bronze-headed spears were effective, but the spear became even more durable and lethal, with the advent of iron working. Dohrenwend wrote that iron metallurgy began with the Hittites some 3500 years ago, and spread around the world from there. Such technology reached China about 2500 years ago.

Unlike the Japanese yari, the qiang of the Chinese most often featured a socketed spearhead, like Central Asian, Middle Eastern, and European spears. While the Japanese preferred their white oak for the shaft of their yari and a composite oaked-cored & bamboo laminated shaft for their nagae-yari (long spear/pike), the Chinese apparently used white wax wood, which is a species of ash. Europeans also generally preferred ash for their polearms, as it is lighter, stronger, and more flexible than oak.

Chinese military practice resembled that of Europe to some degree, in that spearmen often operated in cooperation with troops armed with sword-and-shield, and gave each other mutual support. In the West, this integration of spearmen and swordsmen arguably reached its height with the Spanish colunela (lit., "little column"), which featured pikemen, arquebusiers, and rodeleros aka targetiers (sword-and-shield men), in a ratio of 2:2:1. The pikemen were useful against both cavalry and other pikemen, while the swordsmen provided close support. In the Chinese military, the preferred weapons of the sword-and-shield troops were the single-handed saber (dao) and the round rattan shield (tengpai). At around 29" in diameter, the tengpai was similar in size to European targets (or targes). The saber type used most often was the willow leaf saber or liuyedao, which featured a single-handed grip, a disc-like handguard, and a slightly curved single-edged blade of uniform width. It was a light and handy weapon.

The integration of the spear and sword was manifest in the celebrated "Mandarin Duck Squad" unit/formation, created by the great Ming general, Qi Jiguang. During the mid-16th century AD/CE, the southern Chinese coast was ravaged by Sino-Japanese pirates (wokou in Chinese and wako in Japanese). In Late Imperial Chinese Armies 1520-1840, Chris Peers pointed out that, at that time, the manpower of the wokou was 2/3 Chinese--however, even some of their Chinese warriors used very long Japanese swords (no-dachi, which led to the reintroduction of two-handed dao into the Chinese military) and the corresponding method of kenjutsu. In General Qi's "Mandarin Duck Squad", four men were equipped with long spears, which outranged the no-dachi of the enemy, but they were nevertheless supported by two sword-and-shield men.

The overall impact of the spear on Chinese martial culture can be seen in the legend regarding the origins of the internal art of Xingyiquan; according to the legend, Xingyi was created by General Yue Fei, sometime during the Southern Song Dynasty (1127-1279 A.D./C.E.). According to Kennedy and Guo in Chinese Martial Arts Training Manuals, Yue Fei based Xingyi "on his mastery of the spear". Even if we question the reality of this story, it reveals much about how highly regarded the spear was, as a weapon.

Chinese spear technique was similiar to that of other cultures, and one of the most noteworthy tactics is the dreaded "slip-thrust", where the weapon is driven by the rear hand, as the shaft slides through the forward hand. As noted in my previous essay on Japanese spears, the "slip-thrust" gives the spearman a tremendous advantage against users of shorter weapons like swords, since it is so difficult to properly gauge distance.

The spear continued to be a primary weapon, into more modern times. In Comprehensive Asian Fighting Arts, Draeger and Smith pointed out that, during the Opium Wars, the British acknowledged that the Chinese spear was "far superior" to their bayonets. This should not surprise us--the spear is a purpose-built polearm that is comparatively light and maneuverable, whereas the rifle-and-bayonet is, at best, an improvised polearm that is both shorter and clumsier than the vast majority of spears. The Chinese predilection for spears and sabers might be one reason why American and European military forces retained not only bayonet work, but saber & cutlass drill as well, right into the beginning of the 20th century. One can see old photos of cutlass practice on board American vessels like the armored monitor, U.S.S. Monadnock, which was often stationed in China, and cutlass practice was also carried out on the Australian monitor Cerberus, which was involved in the supression of the Boxer Rebellion in 1900. The retention of bayonet and sword technique in these modern Western militaries was quite likely a functional reaction to unpleasant experiences against Asian foes armed with traditional edged weapons, like the Chinese, the Filipinos, the Moros, etc., and it reveals much about the respect that modern soldiers had, for such warriors and their skills.

For Further Reading:

Comprehensive Asian Fighting Arts by Donn F. Draeger and Robert W. Smith

Chinese Martial Arts Training Manuals--A Historical Survey by Brian Kennedy and Elizabeth Guo

Chinese Swordsmanship--The Yang Family Taiji Jian Tradition by Scott M. Rodell

Ancient Chinese Weapons--A Martial Artist's Guide by Dr. Yang, Jwing-Ming

"The Spear--An Effective Weapon Since Antiquity" by Robert E. Dohrenwend (from the Volume 16 ~ Number 1 ~ 2007 issue of Journal of Asian Martial Arts)

Late Imperial Chinese Armies 1520-1840 by Chris Peers (Osprey Men-At-Arms series)

Warriors of the Steppe--A Military History of Central Asia, 500 B.C. to 1700 A.D. by Erik Hildinger

Pavia 1525 by Angus Konstam (Osprey Campaign series)

A History of the Art of War in the Sixteenth Century by Sir Charles Oman

Boldness does not necessarily mean Victory...

2009-09-26T15:21:00.001-07:00

Many thanks to my friend David Mastro, who shared this book excerpt with me....

--The following eyewitness account of an actual samurai duel comes from Sakujiro Yokoyama (1864-1914), who was one of the greatest jujutsuka/judoka of his time. The account originally appeared in E.J. Harrison's classic text, The Fighting Spirit of Japan (1913):

"I can carry my memory back to the days when all samurai wore the two swords and used them as well when necessity arose. When quite a boy I accidentally witnessed an exciting duel to the death between a ronin (an unattached samurai) and three samurai. The struggle took place in the Kojimachi ward, in the neighbourhood of Kudan, where the Shokonsha now stands. Before proceeding with my narrative I ought to explain for the benefit of my foreign listeners (there were two of us present besides another Japanese gentleman) the usage that was commonly observed by the two-sworded men of the old feudal days, in order that the incident I am about to describe may be better understood. The sword of the samurai, as you know, was a possession valued higher than life itself, and if you touched a samurai's sword you touched his dignity. It was deemed an act of unpardonable rudeness in those days for one samurai to allow the tip of his scabbard to come into contact with the scabbard of another samurai as the men passed each other in the street; such an act was styled saya-ate (saya = scabbard, ate = to strike against), and in the absence of a prompt apology from the offender a fight almost always ensued. The samurai carried two swords, the long and the short, which were thrust into the obi, or sash, on the left-hand side, in such a manner that the sheath of the longer weapon stuck out behind the owner's back. This being the case, it frequently happened, especially in a crowd, that two scabbards would touch each other without deliberate intent on either side, although samurai who were not looking for trouble of this kind always took the precaution to hold the swords with the point downward and as close to their sides as possible. But should a collision of this description occur, the parties could on no account allow it to pass unnoticed. One or both would at once demand satisfaction, and the challenge was rarely refused. The high sense of honour which prevailed among men of this class forbade them to shrink from the consequences of such an encounter.

So much by way of introduction. The episode I am going to describe arose in precisely this fashion. The parties to the duel were a ronin and three samurai, as I have already said. The ronin was rather shabbily dressed, and was evidently very poor. The sheath of his long sword was covered with cracks where the lacquer had been worn away through long use. He was a man of middle age. The three samurai were all stalwart men, and appeared to be under the influence of sake. They were the challengers. At first the ronin apologized, but the samurai insisted on a duel, and the ronin eventually accepted the challenge. By this time a large crowd had gathered, among which were many samurai, none of whom, however, ventured to interfere.

In accordance with custom, the combatants exchanged names and swords were unsheathed, the three samurai on one side facing their solitary opponent, with whom the sympathies of the onlookers evidently lay. The keen blades of the duelists glittered in the sun. The ronin, seemingly as calm as though engaged merely in a friendly fencing bout, advanced steadily with the point of his weapon directed against the samurai in the centre of the trio, and apparently indifferent to an attack on either flank. The samurai in the middle gave ground inch by inch and the ronin as surely stepped forward. Then the right-hand samurai, who thought he saw an opening, rushed to the attack, but the ronin, who had clearly anticipated this move, parried and with lightning rapidity cut his enemy down with a mortal blow. The left-hand samurai came on in his turn, but was treated in similar fashion, a single stroke felling him to the ground bathed in blood. All this took almost less time than it takes to tell. The samurai in the centre, seeing the fate of his comrades, thought better of his first intention and took to his heels. The victorious roni wiped his blood-stained sword in the coolest manner imaginable and returned it to its sheath. His feat was loudly applauded by the other samurai who had witnessed it. The ronin then repaired to the neighbouring magistrate's office to report the occurrence, as the law required...."

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Boldness, over-confidence (three on one), highly volotile and easily offended combatants learned the hard way, that boldness does not necessarily mean victory.

The Ronin, being older and more experienced (and most likely, beyond the "young & full of piss n' vinegar" stage), attempted to prevent bloodshed, but defended himself with a calm mind and effective technique.

It takes a lot of training and self-understanding to gain similar skills as this Ronin. Train hard, and train well!

Drive Thru: You want fries with that?

2009-09-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

The other day, I went through a drive thru to get a quick bite before my kids kung fu class. I was running errands all day and rushing around, and lost track of time. I realized I was very hungry because I felt a hunger headache coming on. I turned into the restaurant and placed my order.

While waiting in line to pick up my food, I checked my phone. "Wow, cool, emails about class inquiries...I better get on that later!" I thought to myself.

I received my food, drove all the way back to the studio, opened the bag, and found that my order was completely wrong. The drink was the only thing correct. "Wow, I wonder if someone else got *my* food and I have theirs..." I wondered.

By that point, I was past the hunger stage and the headache had already set it. My appetite was gone, and the aroma of the food made me want to gag. I took a couple of ibuprofen and decided to sit on my meditation bench and try to breathe off the headache before the little kids arrived for class......

As I sat, it hit me. I was so busy "driving thru" my day, just trying to get things done, assuming everything will go as planned. I expected my food order to be correct, and by honest mistake, I got the wrong food order. I didn't even pause for a second to check if I had all my stuff....I just drove off....expecting things to be the way they should be. If I would have just took the time to pause for a bit to check, the situation could have been very easily corrected.

As I came out of meditation, I was happy to find my headache gone, but the lesson ingrained on my brain. "Don't just 'drive thru' your everyday life....pause a bit and check-in with yourself. If you always expect things to just fall into place on its own, you get complacent and won't check-in with yourself.

"Checking in" doesn't have to be a meditation....it can something as simple as enjoying a view, sitting quietly for a moment and reflecting. Not reflecting on the to-do list....I mean "reflecting" on how you are this moment, at this place in space. No worries of trying to control everything in this point in time.....just being there, checking in, and acknowledging the experience so that your mind can ease up enough to make the rest of your day a bit less hectic. Hopefully, you can get back to your to-do list with an organized, more relaxed viewpoint, instead of rushing around like a headless chicken like I did.

Because of my rushed, stressed state, I didn't get the tater tots I wanted with my lunch. Darn it. Next time I'll go inside to order food....at least I'll be able to see the order being bagged.

And for you, dear reader....."go inside" sometimes!

Edge alignment: The art of "cutting" through ego

2009-09-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

When I teach Tai Chi or Kung Fu students broadsword or straightsword routines, I always try to make a point (no pun intended) to explain the details of sword handling, such as "COP" (center of percussion), "POB" (point of balance), and edge alignment. I want the students to understand their swords as well as their movements and form....that way, they are not merely waving their weapons around aimlessly.

Another thing I like to share with students, is the concept of "why" we train with swords. Its not so much that we aim to actually fight with swords, but rather, using the blade as a means of "cutting through the ego". Many sword systems teach this concept, however it does take time to get over the "coolness factor" of working with swords and blades. As I explain the characteristics of their blades, I explain the concept of "cutting through ego" in this way for students:

"COP", Center of percussion: On a well made sword, the center of percussion is the place on the blade that does not transfer vibration to the handle when the sword is used to strike or cut an object. One way to find the COP is to hold the sword in one hand, and use the other hand to tap the hand on the handle....as the sword wiggles and vibrates, look for the space on the blade that wiggles much less or doesn't wiggle at all. This is the center of percussion....the "sweet spot" where you'd want to cut with. If you cut correctly at an object, hardly any vibration travels to the hand through the handle. Just like the sweet spot on a baseball bat, the COP is where you want to focus your strike or cut. Easier said than done. After very many practice sessions at target cutting, I can only say that I can count how many times on only one hand where I've cut with the perfect COP. Its an ongoing process of adjusting the cut throughout the swing, without interrupting the flow of the cut. Yes, the targets will cut even if I don't hit the COP on the button, but I feel it in the handle, and the cut, most times, is not as clean as it could be.

Practitioners of any martial art will typically go through these periods of "vibration"....tough times where we might feel we are not progressing, sore muscles, bruises, injuries, etc. Although we might know what our true purpose of our training is, it definitely is an ongoing adjustment throughout our training. The key here is to keep plugging along until things become easier and better ingrained. The COP in martial artists, is the place where we feel that our skill and body coordination match. Knowing how to do a form is not enough....you should know how to coordinate your whole body into the movement and know the "sweet spot" of balanced relaxation and tension through a technique. This results in effective movement with minimum effort.

"POB", Point of balance: To find the point of balance on a sword, you would find the place where the body of the sword balances on the edge of a finger. Ideally, the closer to the handguard, the better, so that fine maneuvers with the sword is easier. However, POB is a personal preference. Some people like the POB to be more toward the middle of the blade, other prefer the POB to be near the hand guard. Very well made, balanced blades undergo very detailed workmanship methods by the swordmaker....a skill gained only by dedicated practice in his or her craft.

In martial arts, we should always strive to find our "point of balance". Not just our physical balance...that's a relatively easier skill to gain by constant practice in one's movements. Instead, we should strive for the perfect balance of mind/body/spirit. As with blades, some people prefer to be a little more physically tuned than mentally or spiritually tuned, and some prefer to be mentally and spiritually tuned a bit more than physically. Either way, this slight imbalace will show its results as time passes by. If we concentrate too much on the mental and spiritual, but neglect our physical body, our bodies will "feel" our age as we get older....the nagging aches, pains and physical complaints. Or, if we concentrate too much on the physical aspects and neglect some of the mental and spiritual, we become strong bodied, but prone to things like confidence issues, anger, contempt, fear of things other than martial arts, etc. Train both the body AND the mind, and we learn so much more about ourselves and how we relate to the the physical world and the Universe.

"Edge alignment": To cut properly, keeping good edge alignment is the to a clean cut. If you turn your wrist or drop your elbow in the wrong direction, it will affect the position of the edge, resulting in a botched cut, missing the target, or batting the target off its platform. To keep good edge alignment, students must practice each cutting angle diligently and follow good cutting procedures (proper posture, positioning, transferrence of cutting power from legs/hips to arms, etc). It looks so easy when you watch an expert do target cutting, but it is a little more difficult than it looks....the idea is to cut, not hack.

When a swordsman/swordswoman knows their blades and trains hard in their art, the sword becomes an extension of not only their arm, but an extension of their whole being...mind-body-spirit. During this arduous training, a sword player may get callouses, sore palms, maybe even smack themselves with the handle sometimes or even cut themselves. But the training, practice, and high awareness needed for sword work conditions the hands, strengthens the body, and reduces the likelihood of injuring oneself.

Keep in mind however, that good technique is useless if the blades are not kept to a fine edge. Maintaining one's blades is part of being a sword player....neglect the blade, and it will rust, get dull, and eventually become useless unless much repair work is done. Its so much easier to maintain the blades on an ongoing basis.

Put the training of POB, COP, and edge alignment together, and train hard. That's the way to get good at swordplay or any other martial art. No shortcuts. The techniques themselves, such as parrying, thrusting, cutting, point work, etc, are just the base on which to build the foundation of your training. Finding one's balance, one's "sweet spot" in their practice, maintaining a finely honed "edge" and knowing how to keep the edge on track.....that's what makes a great martial artist. The journey in finding the POB, COP, and edge alignment.....that's the fun part. As we discipline ourselves in our martial art journey, we find that Ego hinders our progress and actually degenerates our skills. Through consistent hard work and with quality instruction from a good teacher, we gradually cut away the Ego that binds our strength and sight, leaving full strength for the training and physical/mental/spiritual journey, good sight to see the way along the journey, ......in time we expose the true self.

And......the "true self", it is said, is "one with the Source".

Train Well, Train Hard. JIAYO!

My missing coffee cup: Blindness with eyes wide open

2009-09-17T00:19:00.000-07:00

This morning, I made myself a cup of coffee, warmed a pastry and sat myself down at my computer to answer emails, update my task list, and other work related stuff. By habit, I always have my coffee in my favorite mug that has a yin-yang symbol on it. However this morning my mug was nowhere to be found, so put my coffee in a different mug.

After writing a couple emails, I put some eggs in water to poach, and looked for my archery equipment. I sat back down in front of the computer, and realized my coffee wasn't there. I scanned the desk...nothing. Looked in the kitchen. Even looked in the bathroom. Looked downstairs...nothing.

"Mom!" I called out. "Have you seen my white coffe mug? I misplaced it."

"is it in your office?" Mom answered.

"No, it just got up and walked away!"

I made another cup of coffee. As I was in the kitchen, I heard my Mom laughing. I walked to where she was...in my office, pointing at my computer desk..... and there was my first coffee cup. Still warm. "What the hell?" I thought. What the hell am I going to do with this other cup of coffee?

Mom walked away laughing.

It was then I realized that when I was looking for my coffee, I was looking for my favorite Yin-Yang mug, not the brown mug I initially had the coffee in. Blind with eyes wide open. Because I was so intent on looking for a white mug, a different mug just disappeared on my desk because my mind didn't "see" it. There it sat, waiting for me to enjoy it and I was scrambling around the house foolishly looking for it. I had to laugh at myself after feeling silly.

In a martial arts sense, this "looking but not seeing" sometimes happens to us as practitioners. When we are beginners in our art, we tend to look at each new technique with a motivated mind...we want to master it, we want to practice it till we get it down. (Sound familiar, martial artists?)

However, sometimes, as experienced martial artists, we tend to look only for the similar skills that we're habituated to. The different flavor of the new art is ignored, and sometimes we don't even hear corrections from the teacher because we might assume we already know the skill set of the similar movements.

As a result, we miss the flavor of the new activity because we are so intent on seeing "our own mug"...our own "coffee". You keep going to class but you still can't quite get the feel of it the way you expect to. Or, for some, they overestimate their skill, and see their skills as a bit better than it really is.

It is this type of "blindness with eyes wide open" that hinders our progress. We try to seek so hard for things that are already there...we try so hard to place value on our higher skills...our "favorite mug of coffee", so to speak, and we forget about the time when we had no skill. In this sight impaired state, we might even go so far as to denounce the simpler skills...sometimes putting down those with lesser skill because we avidly seek such higher skills and go out of our way to get that skill. "Baby stuff" is not in your vocabulary...you think you're better than that.

Then, when we do find the things we look for that are right there in front of us, we wonder "what the hell am I going to do with this other cup of coffee??" After you've gone through all that trouble of manifesting that new skill that you gained so quickly because you thought you were so good, there will come a time where you'll wonder why you went through all that trouble when the process could have been so much easier if your just saw what was really there.

In martial arts, I've seen this type of "blindness" many times...not only in some students i've taught in the past, but with me as well. I'll admit i've been guilty of thinking that I was "all that and a bag of chips", and would laugh at those with less experience when they are astounded with double-sword techniques or high jumps. "They're just impressed because they can't do it. They're like little kids impressed by a simple cartwheel" I used to think. How dumb of me to forget that I was once at their level.

My advice folks: When given the opportunity, learn to "see" not just "look". Remember where you came from....you were once without skill, remember that. Instead of dismissing those with lesser skills, help them find the skills they're looking for if they're being "blind". Just don't laugh at them like my Mom did with me. :-)

Want to know where my yin yang coffee mug was this whole time? (the sole reason why I used a different coffee mug this morning).... In the fridge....where I left it the day before.