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Sunday, July 20, 2025

𝐊𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬⁣⁣



𝐊𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬⁣⁣

By Restita R. DeJesus⁣⁣

Martial arts isn’t just about punches and kicks—it’s also about growing stronger on the inside. But sometimes, that inner strength gets tested when students feel impatient with themselves… or embarrassed when something doesn’t go perfectly in class.⁣⁣

And guess what? That’s totally okay.⁣⁣

Whether you're a kid in Mighty Mites class or an Adult in the Adults classes, wearing a brown belt or tying your white one for the first time, here’s some ways I've learned through the years, how to deal with those “uh-oh” feelings and keep moving forward like a champ.⁣

⁣⁣

Monday, July 14, 2025

Fable: The Caterpillar and the Sparrow


The Tale of the Caterpillar and the Sparrow 

Once, in the heart of an old forest, lived a caterpillar named Marrow. He was not the prettiest of caterpillars—his stripes were uneven, and he had once nibbled the wrong leaves, causing a few plants to wither. The other creatures whispered about him often:

 “That’s the one who ruined the elder thistle.” “He’s nothing but a crawling mistake.”

Marrow heard them. Every day. And even if he could not hear them, the others would tell other creatures about him 

But while they gossiped, Marrow worked. Quietly. Tirelessly. He listened to the rustle of the trees and followed the rhythm of change. One morning, he wrapped himself in a silky cocoon—not as an escape, but as a commitment.

Weeks passed. The forest barely noticed he was gone.

Then one morning, a vibrant butterfly emerged—wings gleaming with sapphire and ember hues, flight light as breath. Marrow had become something wondrous.

As he soared through the trees, a sparrow flew beside him. She looked closely and gasped.

 “Wait... aren’t you that caterpillar? The one who messed everything up?”

“I was,” Marrow replied, “but I’ve changed.”

The sparrow frowned. “Well, I remember what you were. Doesn’t matter what you look like now. I don’t trust you.”

And just like that, she darted away, chirping warnings to the other birds.

Marrow felt the sting—not in his wings, but in his heart. No matter how far he flew, shadows of his past trailed him. Some squirrels scurried when he landed. Some frogs scoffed behind lily pads.

But the flowers... oh, the flowers didn’t care.

They opened for him. 

He began to pollinate them, spreading life where there had been none. His flight helped the bees. His colors taught children insects that transformation was possible. The forest grew more vibrant.

Some still whispered. Some never forgave.

But the wise owl said one night:

 “Some creatures will always see you as the crawl, never the flight. But it’s not your job to stay grounded for their comfort.”

Marrow soared higher, and continued to help the forest thrive. 
---

🌿 Moral of the Fable:
Some will trap you in the story of who you were, not who you’re becoming.
Fly anyway. Let them talk. Let those with eyes that can see, notice your change and your contributions. 

Thursday, July 3, 2025

Progress, Not Perfection: Why Skill Comes with Time and Effort

 


Progress, Not Perfection: Why Skill Comes with Time and Effort

At some point in your martial arts journey—or any journey, really—you’ll glance around and feel that creeping doubt whisper: “Am I good enough?”

Maybe your kicks don’t snap like your classmate’s. Maybe you blank on a kata you’ve done a hundred times. Maybe you’re just plain frustrated because improvement and belt promotion feels slow.

Yesterday, in Mighty Mites class, I overheard some of the boys in the boys break room (my office is not far from that break room). Names have been changed for privacy.

"I can't wait to get to Yellow belt! One more stripe until I get the rest of the yellow requirements!" Timmy said

"I'll never get to yellow belt. It's too hard and I forget a lot", Mitchie commented. The frustration in his voice was apparent.

"Well I come early before class, we can practice the strikes and stuff if you come early too", Timmy said.

"I can't..." Mitchie answered. Dad can only get me here right at 5 pm."

"Yeah, I'll ask my mom if I can get here 15 minutes early to practice too..." Avril chimed in.

"Me toooooooo I wanna come tooooo", Margaret's voice added from the girl's dressing room.

Mitchie's voice stayed dejected, "I'll never get good. Remembering stuff is hard".

-------------------

Here’s the truth Mitchie wasn't aware of yet: being "good" doesn’t matter as much as you think. What matters is showing up, trying, learning—and repeating that process over time. Being "good" happens gradually as your keep trying.

I went to the boys break room and asked if i could talk to them. I said "You know....in class, your personal best is enough. Even if it's not what you think is good or perfect. You don't have to be perfect on your first day, or even as a purple belt or higher. You'll make mistakes, and each time you make a mistake, you can learn from it a lot more than if you were just standing there worrying, right?"

"Yes, Sifu..." the boys answered.

"Mitchie? Did you hear me?" I asked.  "All I ask is that you try your best, and each time you try you'll get better. But you have to try to get better....even if you remember just one thing to practice at home.".

"I'll try...." Mitchie answered. His voice sounded a bit more positive.

"You'll get to yellow belt for sure when you keep trying! I know you will!" I added.

-------------------

🎯 Perfection is a Mirage

No one starts off a master. Black belts were once white belts who stumbled, doubted, and even wanted to quit. What sets them apart isn’t natural talent—it’s consistency.

Chasing perfection too early can paralyze progress. You get stuck trying to look polished rather than getting your reps in and building real skill. Remember: a little imperfect practice done often beats perfect practice that never happens.

🥋 Progress is Earned, Not Granted

In martial arts, every block, strike, and stance improves through repetition. That repetition, layered with mindful effort, is where transformation happens. You won’t always notice it day by day—but look back after a few months, and the progress is undeniable.

Think of your skill like planting bamboo. For a while, nothing seems to grow. Then—boom!—it shoots up rapidly. Why? Because it was growing roots the whole time.

So keep training. Your roots are forming.

🧠 Mindset Over Metrics

Don’t focus on whether you're "better" than others. Focus on whether you're better than yesterday's you. Are you more focused? More fluid? A bit more confident? Great—that’s progress.

When you replace “Am I good enough?” with “Am I putting in the work?”, you’ll start to see training as a path, not a performance.

💬 Encouragement from the Mat

At Seattle Wushu Center, we remind every student: You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be present. We celebrate effort, not just excellence. Because growth is always worth more than giftedness.


Final Word

Skill is not a gift—it’s a result. And it doesn’t arrive all at once. It arrives slowly, wrapped in sweat, effort, and the willingness to come back and try again.

So don’t worry about how good you are today. Just focus on showing up and being better than yesterday. That’s how warriors are made.

Monday, June 30, 2025

Owning Your Responsibility in Self-Defense and Protection

 


Owning Your Responsibility in Self-Defense and Protection

Restita DeJesus

When it comes to self-defense, there’s one truth that cuts through the noise: you are your first responder. Not the police, not the neighbor, not even your loyal German shepherd. You are.

While we’d all love to live in a world where danger is rare and people mean well, real-world experience—and martial arts training—teaches us that prevention, awareness, and preparation are non-negotiable responsibilities. Self-protection isn’t about paranoia. It’s about empowerment.

🥋 The Warrior’s Mindset: Why Responsibility is Key

At the heart of every martial art is one unshakable principle: accountability. Whether it’s mastering a form, doing self defense drills or controlling a technique—your safety and success lie in your own hands. That same mindset applies to life outside the dojo.  Recently, my Tai Chi instructor, Master Yijiao Hong told our class "You can practice for 30 years, but if you're not accountable (for skills), then it's nothing."

You cannot outsource your safety.
Yes, there are security systems and emergency services, but if something happens in the first 30 seconds—those seconds belong to you. The better prepared you are, the less likely you are to panic or become a victim.
As my Kajukenbo Instructor, GM Terry Faircloth told classes time and time again: "you don't need a black belt to protect yourself".


🏡 Securing Your Castle: Smart Perimeter Protection

Whether you live in an apartment or a house, there are steps you can take to keep danger at bay—literally.

🔐 1. Start with Visibility

  • Exterior lights should be motion-activated and cover entrances, driveways, and blind spots.

  • Trim hedges and trees to eliminate hiding spots. Burglars love overgrown landscaping.

🚪 2. Fortify Entry Points

  • Use solid-core doors with reinforced frames.

  • Add deadbolts, door jammers, and security strike plates.

  • Consider smart locks or video doorbells for monitoring and alerts.

🪟 3. Secure Windows

  • Install pin locks or security film on ground-level windows.

  • Consider window alarms or impact sensors—especially in hidden or shadowed areas.


🧠 Everyday Self-Protection Habits That Matter

Self-protection is more than a self defense move or a concealed carry—it’s also how you live.

🧍‍♂️ 1. Walk Like You Belong

  • Predators look for easy targets. Confidence deters threats.

  • Make eye contact, walk tall, and stay aware of exits and surroundings.

📵 2. Ditch the Distractions

  • Keep your head up, especially in parking lots, elevators, or transitional spaces.

  • Your phone can wait. Your life cannot.

👀 3. Trust That Gut Feeling

  • Your intuition evolved for survival. If a person or place feels off, trust it.

  • Give yourself permission to say "no," leave, or create distance.


🧰 Other Useful Tools and Mindsets

🛠️ Layers of Protection:

  • Security cameras aren’t just for evidence—they’re a deterrent.

  • Alarm systems are still relevant—go for monitored ones if possible.

  • Dog bowls, beware of dog signs, or even a fake camera can give intruders second thoughts.

📚 Train the Mind, Not Just the Body:

  • Run drills at home—what would you do if someone forced their way in? Where are your exits? What can you grab? The drills can be mental too, such as scanning for the exits and possible self defense tools while at a public venue (restaurant, theater, etc).

  • Take classes that teach self defense. Realize that some of the techniques might seem gritty and violent....i.e. gouging the eyes, kicking knees, striking the throat, etc.  But, if someone is intent on causing you or your loved ones harm, these are necessary.  As my Kajukenbo teacher said "Any self defense situation is where someone chooses the time, the place and the opportunity to cause you harm". YOU have the choice to gain the skills to defend yourself and your loved ones.

  • There are mixed opinions about weaponry, but if you choose to have firearms for home defense, get trained in it. Practice often. Be vigilant about locking up the weapons if there are children in the house, and know how to access the weapons in any scenario....in the dark, etc. 

☎️ Have an Emergency Plan:

  • Create a code word with family or roommates.

  • Practice home invasion scenarios just like fire drills—yes, even with kids.


🧘‍♀️ Calm Is a Skill: Train It

All the gear in the world won’t help if you freeze under pressure. Martial arts builds that inner calm. Meditation helps, too. In a crisis, your breathing can be your weapon. Control your breath, control your actions, control your thoughts. Train it diligently.


💬 Final Word from Sifu Restita:

Self-defense isn’t just about throwing punches or wielding a weapon—it’s about ownership. Your body, your space, your life—you’re responsible for protecting it.

And guess what? That’s not a burden. It’s a gift.
Because the more capable you are of protecting yourself, the less you have to live in fear.

So be aware. Be prepared. And most of all—be unapologetically ready.

Sunday, June 29, 2025

𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞⁣


 

𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠:

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞⁣

At Seattle Wushu Center, we believe martial arts is more than just a set of techniques—it’s a personal journey. Whether you're training in traditional forms or modern applications, every class is an opportunity to sharpen not just your movements, but your mindset.⁣

If you want to elevate your practice—on and off the mat—here are eight core principles that have helped me along my martial arts journey, and still do.   

-Restita


𝟏. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧⁣

Every time you bow in, ask yourself: What am I here to improve today? Whether it’s perfecting a stance or refining your energy flow through a form, your focus fuels your progress. It is common to come to class and just wait for it to start and follow along. Whatever is covered in class, use it to meet your intention.⁣

🔹 Sifu's tip: Before class begins, take 30 seconds to set one small goal. Even subtle shifts in intention can lead to big breakthroughs.⁣

𝟐. 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫⁣

Instructors can point the way—but real mastery comes when you can observe yourself. Be your own toughest (and most compassionate) coach. Reflect on your practice. Watch your form. Make mental notes. Repeat.⁣

“𝘚𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵.”⁣

𝟑. 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 o𝐧 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲⁣

At Seattle Wushu Center, we say: Don’t count the reps—make the reps count. Doing 20 mindful kicks with proper alignment is far more valuable than 100 rushed ones.⁣

𝘗𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘯 the sword 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 it.⁣

𝟒. 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐮⁣

Progress doesn’t always feel like progress. You’ll have highs, lows, and long stretches of “stuck.” That’s normal—and it’s where real transformation hides. Show up anyway. Keep breathing. Keep moving. To this day, I'm still hitting those plateaus where I feel almost stuck. But the more I study and share the knowledge, I feel the flow again. You'll hit many plateaus...and you'll get through them if you keep up the work.⁣

“𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.”⁣

𝟓. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝⁣

Kajukenbo, Wushu, Eskrima, San Soo-whatever art you study here, and all martial arts—is as much internal as external. Practice focus. Meditate. Reflect. A clear, resilient mind is what gives your technique depth and presence.⁣

“𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘵—𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴.”⁣

𝟔. 𝐁𝐞 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬. 𝐀𝐬𝐤. 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞.⁣

Your instructors are guides, not gatekeepers. Ask questions. Explore different interpretations. Martial arts grows when you stay curious, not complacent.⁣

𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯eve𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭.⁣

𝟕. 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲⁣

In our classes, we don’t glorify burnout. Smart training includes rest. Hydrate. Stretch. Sleep. Rested bodies perform better—and are less prone to injury.⁣ When I was younger, I was one of those "No pain no gain" people. But I'm paying the price for it today with hip and knee issues.

𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵: 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺, 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴.⁣

𝟖. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲⁣

Whether you’re brand new or a long-time student, stay humble yet stay hungry. The white belt mindset—open, curious, eager—is what carries you the farthest.⁣

“𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴—𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴.”⁣

💬 Final Word from Sifu Restita:⁣

Martial arts isn’t just something you do. It’s who you become. Every class is a chance to reconnect—with your discipline, Your lineage, your courage, and your purpose. So train with heart. Train with curiosity. And remember:⁣

"𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦—𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦."⁣

— 𝘚𝘪𝘧𝘶 𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘢 𝘋𝘦𝘑𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘴⁣


Thursday, June 26, 2025

The Donkey and the ladder

 





"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐫"⁣


In a sleepy little village nestled by the cliffs, there lived a donkey named Milo. Milo was clever, strong, and full of dreams—but also very good at doing as little as possible.⁣

At the top of the nearby hill sat a golden bell tower, said to grant the loudest voice to those brave enough to climb it. Milo longed to reach the top, so that everyone in the village could hear his voice and know his worth.⁣

“I would’ve climbed it already,” Milo sighed one day, “but ever since the old goat moved the ladder and never brought it back, I can’t. So, here I wait.”⁣

“Why don’t you build another ladder?” asked a young mouse who overheard.⁣

Milo blinked. “Well… it’s not my fault. The goat ruined everything. Plus, building things is hard. Dangerous, even. What if I fall? What if it doesn’t work?”⁣

So Milo stayed put—days, then weeks, then seasons passed. He watched others climb using ropes, platforms, pulleys, and even stacked crates. Every time, Milo found something to blame: the goat, the hill, the weather, the village council, not having time, neighbors that didn't share their tools (although he never asked to borrow them).....He thought verything was everyone else's fault. After all, he was not to blame, in his eyes.⁣

But one day, a blind turtle slowly crept by, dragging a handmade step stool, two boards, and a hammer in her shell. “𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱,” she said kindly, “𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐’𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘳.”⁣

And just like that, Milo’s excuses felt heavier than his hooves.⁣

That night, he stayed awake staring at the tower. Then he sighed, dug in his hooves and began to build—it was messy and awkward—but he put in the effort, he worked.⁣

Eventually, Milo stood at the top of the tower, breathless and stunned. Not just from the climb—but because for the first time, he realized it wasn’t the goat, or the hill, or fate.⁣

⁣ It was fear pretending to be logic, and comfort pretending to be wisdom. If he had not feared speaking up and asking to borrow materials.....if he had not refused to do the work....he would have found success much earlier.⁣


𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥:⁣
Sometimes the things making things difficult isn't what someone else did or the situation not being ideal — it's the work you were afraid to do and the effort you refused to put in.

Friday, June 20, 2025

Some Martial Arts Instructors Don’t Teach Children, And Why Others could beneft

 



Some Martial Arts Instructors Don’t Teach Children, 
And Why Others Could Benefit

Martial arts has long been celebrated as a path of discipline, respect, and personal growth. Yet, walk into any martial arts community gathering and ask about teaching children, and you’ll hear a wide range of opinions—from enthusiastic yeses to firm nos with crossed arms and arched eyebrows.

So why do some martial arts instructors shy away from teaching kids? And more importantly… what are they missing out on?


The Hesitation: Why Some Instructors Say “No Thanks” to Kids’ Classes

Let’s be real—teaching kids is a whole different kind of Dojo experience. While adults generally show up for structure, philosophy, and physical improvement, What do young kids show up for? They might show up in Spider-Man pajamas, mid-sugar rush, with no idea why bowing in even matters.

Here are a few common reasons instructors may choose not to teach children:

  • Discipline Challenges: Kids, especially younger ones, can be unpredictable, energetic, and easily distracted. Not every instructor feels equipped—or patient enough—to handle that. 

  • Purist Philosophy: Some instructors believe martial arts should be reserved for those who can fully grasp its deeper meaning. They worry that simplifying things for children waters down the art. Some believe that teaching kids is a "sellout".

  • Training Quality Concerns: There’s a fear that kids won’t take training seriously, or that their presence might lower the intensity or quality of the class environment, and  While instructors will indeed have kids that don't take the training seriously, let's remember that there are adults who don't as well....jumping around from style to syle or treating the classes as just something to do after work.   
    My goal each day is to train everyone with the same quality, regardless of if they take it seriously or not. After all, the ones that do take it seriously will benefit, and I hope that ones that don't, gain some type of skill to carry into their other endeavors.

  • Lack of Experience or Curriculum: Let’s face it, teaching kids requires a different skillset, a different mode of communication, a different attitude, and often a revamping of the curriculum so that it is broken down for a child's learning curve. Some instructors may not feel prepared for that, saying "I'm not good with kids". 


Why Teaching Kids is Actually a Hidden Gem: And it's not just for business

Despite the challenges, many instructors who do teach kids discover something surprising: it’s incredibly rewarding. And not just in a heartwarming way—though there’s plenty of that, too.

Benefits for Instructors:

  • Legacy Building: Teaching kids allows instructors to pass down their knowledge and help shape the next generation of martial artists. That’s not just teaching—that’s creating a lineage. I started martial arts as a little girl, wit h the dream of having my own Dojo....and here I am now teaching people of all ages.

  • Refined Teaching Skills: Do you want to learn how to teach with clarity and creativity? Try explaining stances to a six-year-old. You’ll become a better communicator across the board. You'll need to break down each movement in a clear and simple way, which deepens your own understanding of what you thought you mastered. Doing something and teaching something are two different skills.

  • Business Sustainability: Let’s be real—kids’ classes can be the backbone of a martial arts school’s financial health. Teaching them creates community roots, long-term students and the support and assistance of the kid's parents.

  • Creativity in curriculum: Instructors need not "gamify" every drill or exercise. Sure, you can make learning Kata fun by adding some fun games, but the trick is to balance the teaching of the "serious" material of your style, fostering children's confidence, and making class enjoyable.....without necessarily watering down the art. It takes practice and planning.

  • Personal Fulfillment: Seeing a shy child gain confidence, or an ADHD child channel their energy into focus—that’s the kind of thing that keeps instructors inspired. I know that's what keeps me inspired.


Benefits for Kids:

  • Discipline and Focus: Martial arts helps kids develop self-control, focus, and patience—skills that transfer straight to the classroom and beyond.

  • Confidence and Self-Esteem: Whether it’s learning a new Kata, breaking their first board or earning a new belt, kids learn to believe in themselves through effort and progress.

  • Respect and Responsibility: Bowing, listening to instructions, respecting themselves, their classmates and parents, helping peers—all fundamental parts of martial arts culture that help shape respectful behavior.

  • Physical Fitness: Martial arts is a fun way to stay active, improve coordination, and build lifelong habits of movement.


Final Thought

As martial arts instructors, we often say we’re not just teaching punches and kicks—we’re shaping lives. And that starts young.

“A great teacher doesn’t just teach skills—they shape character. When we teach a child, we plant the seeds of strength, respect, and resilience that will grow for a lifetime.”

So to the instructors on the fence—it's okay that you're on the fence, and you own the choice of incuding kids in your style or not.  However, it's good to remember that what you teach any student today… might be what changes the world tomorrow.....no matter what their age.


Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Meditation: Its not about "thinking of nothing"

 


When most people hear the word meditation, a very specific image often comes to mind: someone sitting cross-legged on a cushion, fingers pinched in a perfect mudra, softly chanting “Ohm” in a quiet room filled with incense. While that’s certainly one version of meditation, it’s far from the full story.

The truth is, meditation isn’t just about how you sit or what you chant—it’s about how you show up for yourself and the present moment. It’s not mystical or reserved for yogis on mountaintops. Meditation is practical, adaptable, and beneficial for people of all ages—including children.


What Is Meditation, Really?

At its core, meditation is the practice of training your mind to be present, aware, and engaged. It’s like going to the gym, but instead of building biceps, you’re building mental clarity, emotional resilience, and calm. Many people feel that they can't do meditation because they "can't think of nothing". It's about being right there, right now. Find a thought about that bill you forgot to pay? Acknowledge it and continue without being hung up on it.

And it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Meditation can be:

  • Sitting quietly and following your breath.

  • Walking slowly and feeling the ground beneath your feet.

  • Washing dishes with full attention to the sound and sensation of the water.

  • Listening to music with complete focus—no phone, no distractions. Most people can do that, that's a form of meditation. Sometimes, I sit with my headphones and follow only one instrument as the music plays. It keeps me in the present moment while enjoying the rhythm of the music.


Why Mindfulness Matters in Daily Life

Mindfulness—the practice of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment—has proven mental and physical benefits:

  • Reduced stress and anxiety: Mindfulness helps calm the nervous system and regulate emotional responses.

  • Improved focus: Training your mind to return to the present sharpens attention over time.

  • Better sleep: A quieter mind means less tossing and turning.

  • Emotional regulation: With regular mindfulness practice, it becomes easier to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

  • More meaningful connections: Being present with others improves communication and deepens relationships.

These benefits apply to everyone—from busy parents and overworked professionals to energetic children and even teens navigating social pressures.  These skills allow us to stay on point with work, school, and everyday tasks such as driving, operating machinery, etc. Staying in the moment is so important when it comes to things like driving!


Kids Can Meditate Too

Children are naturally curious and imaginative, making them perfect candidates for mindfulness—if it’s presented in a way they can understand. Meditation for kids can look like:

  • Guided imagery: Visualizing a peaceful place or favorite animal.

  • Mindful breathing with props: Watching a feather rise and fall on their breath.

  • Mind jars: A glitter-filled jar they shake, then watch settle to represent their emotions calming down.

Even just a few minutes a day can help children manage emotions, build empathy, and improve concentration at school. At my school, our martial arts kids practice Mokuso for a couple minutes after each class. Sometimes we balance a beanbag on our heads to keep aware, sometimes listening for cars passing by and counting them, sometimes counting the ticking clock. After one class, a child muttered "Wow I didn't know there was a clock in the class!" To which i answered, "See? When we really pay attention, we notice things we never noticed before". 


Not All Meditation Is Sitting

Here are a few meditation techniques that break away from the stereotype:

  1. Walking Meditation Focus on the rhythm of your steps, the sensation of your feet touching the ground, and the sounds around you. Each step becomes a reminder: I am here.

  2. Standing meditation Stand with feet shoulder width apart, allowing the arms to hand down at sides (beginners). Let the top of the head rise upward, focus your mind on your center of gravity, and "sit" into the legs. Feel the weight evenly on both feet and let go of body tension as you notice it.

  3. Body Scan Lie down or sit comfortably. Bring awareness to each part of your body, starting from your toes to your head. This promotes relaxation and awareness of tension.

  4. Breath Counting Inhale and exhale—count “one.” Continue up to ten, then start again. If your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring it back without judgment.

  5. Mindful Eating Take a single bite of food. Chew slowly. Notice the flavor, texture, and aroma. This not only enhances enjoyment but helps prevent overeating.

  6. Sound Meditation Sit quietly and listen: birds, a fan, distant voices. Try not to label the sounds—just hear them.


A Practice for Real Life

Meditation doesn’t require robes, incense, or chanting. It only asks that you pay attention. Whether you’re sitting, walking, parenting, or washing dishes, mindfulness is about anchoring yourself to the here and now.

Just a few minutes a day can shift your mindset, calm your nerves to lessen stress, and bring clarity to the chaos of daily life.


Closing Thought

"Mindfulness is the key to a happy and peaceful life. It is the miracle which can call back in a flash our dispersed mind and restore it to wholeness so that we can live each minute of life."
Thich Nhat Hanh


Thursday, June 12, 2025

Tai Chi isn't just for your grandparents

 



Tai Chi: It's Not Just for Old People

When you picture someone practicing Tai Chi, what comes to mind? For many, it's the image of an older adult in a park, slowly moving through graceful, meditative motions. And while Tai Chi is indeed a favorite among seniors—and for good reason—it’s time to bust the myth: Tai Chi is not just for old people. 

When I was younger, I believed Tai Chi was an activity that only older people did when they couldn't move as easily anymore.

In reality, Tai Chi is a dynamic, adaptable, and deeply powerful martial art and wellness practice that can benefit everyone, regardless of age, athletic ability, or experience level. Let's explore why.


What Is Tai Chi, Really?

Tai Chi (or Taijiquan) is an ancient Chinese internal martial art that combines slow, deliberate movements, breathing techniques, and mental focus. Originally developed for self-defense, it evolved into a practice known for promoting balance, flexibility, and inner calm.

Tai Chi literally means “Supreme Ultimate,” and its philosophy is rooted in Taoism and the balance of yin and yang. It’s not just movement—it’s moving meditation, and when practiced with intention, it can be physically challenging, mentally enriching, and spiritually grounding.


Benefits of Tai Chi—for All Ages

1. Improves Balance and Coordination

Tai Chi trains your proprioception—your body’s sense of position in space—making it ideal for athletes, dancers, and anyone looking to move more efficiently.

2. Enhances Flexibility and Strength

Don't be fooled by the slow pace—holding stances and moving mindfully strengthens muscles, increases joint mobility, and promotes better posture.

3. Reduces Stress and Increases Focus

Tai Chi emphasizes relaxed breathing, mindful awareness, and flowing movement. That makes it a perfect counterbalance to the high-stress, screen-heavy lifestyle of modern students and working professionals.

4. Boosts Cardiovascular and Respiratory Health

Regular practice increases stamina and oxygen intake. Some forms of Tai Chi even elevate the heart rate to moderate aerobic levels.

5. Sharpened Mental Clarity

The cognitive challenge of remembering sequences, coordinating limbs, and aligning the body with breath builds focus and mental discipline.

6. Martial Application and Self-Defense

Yes—Tai Chi is a martial art. Its techniques are based on physics, leverage, and energy redirection. Practiced with intent, it's highly effective for self-defense.


Some Styles of Tai Chi

There are many styles, some considered "major Family" styles, and others as smaller branch or lesser known family styles. Here are just a few:

  • Chen Style: The original form, with low stances, coiled energy, and bursts of explosive power (fa jin). Great for martial training.

  • Yang Style: The most widely practiced, known for its large, open movements and smooth, flowing rhythm. Excellent for beginners and general wellness.

  • Wu Style: A more compact frame with subtle internal focus, ideal for practitioners who enjoy internal energy work.

  • Sun Style: Incorporates elements of Xingyi and Bagua, featuring agile steps and a slightly upright posture. Popular for its gentle transitions and ease on the joints.

  • Wu/Hao Style: Less commonly seen, this style is characterized by small, precise movements and a deep emphasis on internal alignment.


Getting Started: Practice Points for Any Age

  1. Start Slow, Stay Consistent
    You don’t need to master all 108 moves of a long form on day one. Even 10 minutes of daily practice can yield noticeable benefits.

  2. Find the Right Instructor
    Look for someone certified and experienced in working with your age group and goals—whether fitness, meditation, or martial development.

  3. Dress Comfortably and Focus on Posture
    Soft-soled shoes and loose clothing help movement flow naturally. Pay attention to spinal alignment and relaxation.

  4. Practice Outdoors or in a Quiet Space
    Fresh air and peaceful surroundings enhance the meditative quality of Tai Chi. Bonus: You’ll start to feel more grounded and present.

  5. Breathe Naturally
    Coordinating breath with movement calms the nervous system and deepens the practice.


Tai Chi Is for Everyone

From kids needing focus and calm, to teens exploring martial movement or their self awareness, to adults looking for holistic fitness, and yes—even seniors managing mobility—Tai Chi delivers. It's not about age. It's about balance, strength, awareness, and energy. It took me until my early 30's to appreciate the practice, but as they say, better late than never.  :)  I credit Tai Chi practice in helping me recover from a back injury that resulted in bad peripheral neuropathy. Tai Chi helped me become very aware of my limbs, especially in walking, to help prevent my feet from tripping myself, as I couldn't feel my feet very well. And, if I did feel my feet, the sensation of pins and needles was so painful. The practice helped calm my feelings of "being useless" and quell the frustration of not being able to do the things I was doing before the injury. 

So the next time someone says Tai Chi is just for old people, remind them:

Tai Chi is for warriors of every age.



  




Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Communication & Understanding

 





Many misunderstandings happen when you think something should be a certain way and you assume that others should think the same. Or, misunderstandings arise when you don't communicate yet believe that it has. 

No one is a mind reader. Have the courage to communicate. You might find that misunderstandings, disagreements, squabbles, attitudes of separateness, and yes even discrimination, will turn up less and less.


Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Training with a purpose

 


One of the questions on the intake/preregistration form of my classes is "What do you hope to gain in the class(es) you chose?". It is a multiple choice list that potential students can choose from, including "self discipline", "weight loss", "recreation", among others.  

The premise behind the question on the intake form, is to jump start a goal-oriented mindset with the potential student. Many people join for something to do or for a hobby, while others join to improve their health, or learn self protection, etc. But what really floats your boat?

 Since parents normally fill out the form for their child, the parent tends to choose what they'd like to see their child gain. Then, during the interview after their 3 intro lessons, I ask the child directly "What do YOU want to improve on? What do you want to learn?"

With kids, the kids don't initially think about "controlling my mind" or "Honor" or even "Respect". It may be hard for parents to find that out, but for the most part, kids want something specific to them.

After his trial lessons, one young boy answered not too long ago, "I wanna move good so other kids at school don't laugh at me". He was so honest....that's what he wanted. It wasn't about "I want a black belt", or "I want to improve my mental clarity" or anything like that. His reason was specific to him.

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

What's in a name? "Sisuk" (part 4 of a series)














This is part 4 of a series regarding martial arts titles. I started the series with the titles used in my classes. Although the titles may have different context from school to school, I hope this series clarifies things for my own students; in terms of the actual meaning of the title and its context at Seattle Wushu Center's Kajukenbo classes.

In the context of Chinese martial arts (kung fu), "sisuk" (师叔) refers to a junior kung fu uncle. It's a title of respect used for a fellow student or teacher who is of a lower status or ranking than one's teacher.

Traditionally, the title would refer to your teacher's lower ranking classmate (from their own
Sifu's school) and you would call your teacher's younger classmate as "Sisuk". However in
some schools, the title can also sometimes refer to a student of the Sifu that is lower rank than the Sifu.

However, at our school, the title is given by the Sifu (me) and not an automatic form of address.
The title is given to those of purple to green belt who have expressed interest in becoming an assistant,
a coach or a future teacher. The Sisuk may assist students (with Sifu's supervision) up to their own rank.


Those that want to assist but haven't the time to attend other classes to assist, are called "Jo Lei" (assistant), but that's for another blog post!)

Spring is here, Summer approaching,...its martial arts scam season!

 

I forgot that I had this post in drafts, so I'm publishing it late.
--------

Had a funny thing happen today. I received another potential scam email. 😆


What made my red-flag ears go up, is the randomness of the message. Normally, when prospective clients first contacts me, they do so by filling out the contact form on my website. Most don't contact me directly at my email address unless they get the email address from a friend who already attends my school, or from a parent of a child that attends my school. I get these types of emails a lot mainly during the summer.....many of them chargeback scams.  Funny that my teacher-colleague, Kathy Long, got the same message the same day, asking about tennis lessons, then the scammer just cut and pasted the text into an email to me. 😂

The scammers usually have 3 or more kids, they want private lessons, and the "parent" cannot speak on the phone or meet on video call due to being deaf, being in the hospital, etc etc. They offer to prepay for the lessons plus 300 to 500 extra, but then just before the transaction clears, they ask that when the children arrive at the stated first appointment (usually "driven to the venue by a hired driver") that they 
be given the cash that was included in the "extra" money that was charged to the card. So, that means you would have given the kids cash (for their "daily expenses") but the card is either bogus or stolen and the charge never goes through. You're out a bunch of cash and the kids never show up. 

Luckily, I was warned about this type of scam well before I started getting the scam emails. Sadly though, some martial arts school have fallen victim to this scam.

Watch out for these scams!


Monday, April 28, 2025

A quote, a brief redirect from the "martial arts titles" series

 


Defeat Yesterday's Understanding

I saw this quote some days ago, and decided to add this blog post in the middle of the "martial arts titles" series. 

Each week, i've been posting my thoughts on martial art titles....what they mean, their uses, etc. I've been posting primarily so my own new students can get an idea of the uses of certain titles that we use at our Kwoon, Seattle Wushu Center (Inner Concepts Method). This is through my own lineage.  

Sifu Kathy Long, our other instructor who has her own method called "Beyond Limits Martial Arts", (based on her many years of experience in Kung Fu San Soo, Kickboxing and a plethora of other training) has titles that she and her own students use in their method.

This week, I'd like to post this quote:

"The purpose of today's training 
is to defeat yesterday's understanding"


I've mentioned to students many times, that one of the goals in training is to try to improve and bet a little bit better than the previous class they attended. 

But "defeat yesterday's understanding"?  I presented this quote to one of my juniors kids classes, and one of the younger students asked "Does that mean we have to throw away what we learned last week?"

To many, it might have sounded like a silly question, but this kid was serious. He wanted to understand.

So, I explained that we shouldn't forget....on the contrary we must remember, so that we can compare our progress today, to last week, and the week before, and so on. I chose to compare the concept to something the kids all knew about.....video games!

I said: "It's like when you picked up a new video game. Sure, you've heard about the game from your friends, but you finally get it and your first game is feeling it out and trying to remember how the controls work in the game. You figure out the purpose of the game and slowly learn to play the game. Each time you play, you make mistakes, but then you remember your mistakes and try different approaches and strategies, and you get better at the game. Each time you make a mistake you learn from it and improve your gameplay. It's the same here at the Kwoon. If you don't remember the mistakes your won't have the means to improve, and you stay right where you are, not progressing. Does that make sense everyone?"

"Yes Sifu!!"

Then of course a bunch of hands raise up and the kids shared stories of their favorite games and how much better they got by just keeping at it even though they got frustrated. It took around 10 minutes of stories, but I found that it was important for the kids to share how they learned in their games and how frustrated they got but didn't quit. I found it was important that they learn from other kids what "attaining goals' was like in each other's perspectives. I was thrilled that the kids learned that Kung Fu is much more than just what strikes, kicks and forms they knew.....they were learning about the actual WORK.

During their discussion, one of the girls said (in an almost "authoritative" tone of voice):  "I like Mario Golf Super Rush", and you have to get your shots just right. It takes practice, but what you thought would work yesterday, probably doesn't work today so ya gotta work to get your timing right. You use part of what you learned yesterday to figure out how to play today."

"That's it, Jaime!" I remarked. "That's how we defeat yesterday's understanding. We make the understanding more complex, we don't throw it away, its a stepping stone."

If we just take what happened yesterday and merely move on without a 2nd thought, we lose some of the education we can glean from it. Yes, it is learning from mistakes, but while many understand the literal sense of it, it is the mind/body aspect and the practical application of it that fosters the real learning.

Thursday, April 24, 2025

What's in a name? Part 3: "Sigung"

 


In this post we explore the title "Sigung"(Cantonese), which is used in many Kung Fu schools to refer to a "Teacher's teacher". In the familial hierarchy, the title Sigung would be like saying "grandfather". Traditionally, the term is for male teachers, however females use this title in some kung fu schools.

Keep in mind, that the title is based on a student's direct relationship with the teacher. If you are the student of a Sifu, you call them "Sifu", regardless of any other title that teacher might hold. If you are a black belt and have students, your students would refer to your teacher as "Sigung",....."grandparent". 

In my school's Kajukenbo lineage, the title "Sigung" is bestowed on black belts of 6 and 7th degree. However, it is considered a category of rank.

The Sifu with the title would never refer to themselves as "Sigung", nor should the teacher's students call them that. Sometimes, the public will address the teacher with the title to acknowledge the teacher's experience and position.

I've heard the general public (as with young student's parents) refer to me as "Sigung" (because that was the last known title they remember), or even sometimes "Professor", as it is my current rank category. I've told Parents that "Sifu" is fine when addressing me when their kids are around, to set a good example for the kids, or that they can just refer to me as "Lo-Si"...."teacher".

That being said, a more appropriate term that the public could use for a teacher (regardless of martial arts title) is "Lo-Si" (Laoshi in Mandarin), which means simply "Teacher".  It is a term primarily used for academic instructors or instructors of any subject, but is sometimes used by the public to address a teacher in a polite way. Students of a Sifu should not refer to their own teacher as "Lo-Si", as the term is considered "generic" and moves away from the family relationship within a martial arts school. But, that's for another blog post!

Proper etiquette dicates that a teacher never refers to themselves as any title in the general public, but only when speaking with students or their students. Signature lines in emails often have just a teacher's name, or "Lo-Si" in front of their name (or more traditionally, behind their name). This is to refer to themselves as simply "Teacher John Smith".

Titles are meant as a means for the students and public to address a teacher, or to recognize a teacher's experience. To introduce oneself as "Master John Smith" or "Grandmaster Smith" would make someone appear pretentious or pompous.

As always, ask your teacher about the use of titles if your art uses them. 

Monday, April 21, 2025

Finding Direction

 


It's not the speed of attaining goals that is the priority. Instead, it's figuring out how to attain goals and the quality of work that you put in. It's easy to go through the motions so that your audience sees and you maintain your reputation. Know your direction.....plus it is so much more fulfilling when that direction is for the greater good, not just for yourself.

Getting somewhere is easier when you know which direction to start walking.


Thursday, April 17, 2025

What's in a name? Part 2: "Sihing"

 



This series is primarily for my students, but I hope the information presented is of interest to others. 

In this series, I'll be addressing the different titles that are observed at my Kwoon, Seattle Wushu Center, as they apply to our Kajukenbo, Wushu, Tai Chi, and Eskrima classes. Please note that the titles featured in this blog apply to our school, and the uses may differ in other schools.

-Restita DeJesus

Wednesday, April 16, 2025

What's in a name? Titles in Chinese Martial Arts Part 1: "Sifu"

 


In many traditional martial arts, titles can be sort of confusing to remember.  In the Western world, we tend to use the term "Professor" when addressing a college or graduate school instructor, or the term "Doctor" when addressing a medical specialist. However, many times, the use of titles in martial arts is misunderstood, and somehow the same etiquette tends to fly by the wayside in the Western culture. 

In Chinese martial arts and Chinese-based martial systems, the use of titles for teachers and coaches changes depending on the relationship between individual and the teacher within a school or system. It is the students and general public that refer to a teacher by a title. One typically never refers to themselves by a title.

Of course, in any martial arts nowadays, if a teacher prefers to be called by their given name outside of the school, then that's what the students follow. This post is not to berate martial artists for not recognizing their teacher's titles, but to recognize the traditional connotations behind the titles.

 In this series, I'll be sharing both the general outlook of martial arts titles, and how they apply to my classes at my school. I'll present one blog post per Title.

Sifu: 
A term that can be translated as "Teacher-Father" (or nowadays "teacher-parent"), and the standard term for a head instructor (usually upper level rank) of a school. The term doesn't literally mean "Master", although the title implies that the Sifu is the "master of the house", i.e. caretaker/main manager/main teacher of the school (Kwoon).

Generally, the title "Sifu" had been used for male teachers only, while the title "Simo" was used to refer to female teachers or the wife of a (male) Sifu. Nowadays, many schools choose the use the term "Sifu" for anyone that is head of a school (or has been bestowed the title by their own Sifu).

The students usually call their own teacher "Sifu". However, traditionally, the teachers typically do not call themselves "Sifu", nor do they refer to themselves as a "Master". The general public may refer to the teacher as "Sifu" or "Master" to show recognition of their position and knowledge, but a more appropriate term that the public may use is "Laoshi", which is the general term for a teacher or those with long experience and wisdom in a particular subject.

These days, teachers refer to themselves as Sifu when stating who is writing an email or calling on the phone (i.e. "Hi John, this is Sifu Restita, got a minute to discuss your upcoming exam?). But typically we wouldn't introduce ourselves to others with a title. We should never say "Hi, nice to meet you, i'm Sifu Restita DeJesus"). Nor would we sign emails or letters with a title. 

Titles are meant to be used by students of a teacher, when speaking to or speaking of their teacher.  For example, when introducing your teacher to another person, it is considered etiquette proper etiquette to say "James, this is my Kung Fu teacher, Sifu Restita DeJesus. Sifu, this is James."

At our school, the Sifu title is bestowed by the Chief Teacher to Black Belts who reach 3rd degree level and show an interest in teaching and sharing the arts. However the title is not necessarily automatically bestowed when a black belt reaches 3rd degree. In some schools, a title is adopted if a teacher/Master/Grandmaster refers to them with the title. For example, when I was presented with my teaching certificate in Wushu and Tai Chi at a large  celebration banquet , my Sifu presented me to the audience as "Sifu Restita DeJesus", informing the martial arts community in attendance that it is now my current position within her curriculum, because I was to teach her curriculum outside her school.

Traditionally, there is only one "Sifu" at a school, being the head of the school. However nowadays many contemporary schools recognize other Sifu that were promoted to the title by the "Chief" Sifu, as the term can apply to anyone with much more experience in their field than those who are addressing the teachers. The title Sifu is also used in some schools to refer to teachers that have their own class within the school. 

Keep in mind, that the title of the teacher changes, depending on who is referring to them. As already mentioned, students call their teacher "Sifu". However if a student is a black belt and has students of their own, their students call the teacher's teacher "Sigung" (implying "grandparent"). However that title is for another blog post. 

Other titles a Sifu might hold is "Sibak" (older uncle, although the term"Simo" is sometimes used for older auntie. My school tends to recognize the term " Sibak". For example, if one my junior classmates (that I studied under the same Sifu with) has students and they come visit my Kwoon, their students would technically call me 'Sibak' while the Junior classmate could call me  'Sihing" (elder brother) or more appropriately, 'Sijie' (elder sister).  

But I digress. Those titles are for other following blog posts. 😊

In our lineage, at my Kwoon, it is considered good manners for students to address the head teachers of Sifu ranks, by their title even outside of the school. Many Westerners tend to think they can call their teachers by their first name without the title, outside of the school. However, addressing the teacher by their earned title is like addressing a Doctor if you meet them at a grocery store. If you saw your doctor at the store, most people wouldn't say "Hey Mark, good to see ya!".....you'd most likely say "Wow Dr. Mark, (or Doctor Johnson), I didn't know you shopped at this store too...", etc etc. The same would apply in good manners in martial arts.  Same with kids addressing their teachers at their grade school, middle school or high school.....kids tend to address their teachers as "Ms. Johnson" instead of "Lily" if seeing them at the store. It's something naturally done by kids.  In our lineage, the same applies. This is a kung fu etiquette that symbolizes that there is no difference in respect between Kwoon and outside the Kwoon. For example, regardless of the surroundings, the teacher still has more experience than you.

Generally, the public would refer to the teacher as "Lo Si" (Cantonese) or "Laoshi" (Mandarin) as a term of recognition of an individual's position of a teacher. It is polite to uses the term plus the teacher's last name. 

However, regardless of the title, I suggest that students start by being polite, use a teacher's title, and allow the teacher to request that you call them by their given names outside of the Kwoon. Try not to ask "What you want me to call you outside the Kwoon?" because that puts the teacher in a very awkward position, because even while they're trying to teach you the politeness of titles, they don't want to seem egotistical by saying "call me Sifu". If they request that you call them by their first names outside of the Kwoon, then do so....and it is proper to not forget the position and experience they hold.  If they don't correct you, that's fine too, because perhaps the etiquette is something they in turn follow with their own teachers. Both are fine. 

Titles in the Chinese martial arts can be a confusing thing, especially since the use of them are based on family positions (parent, uncle, older/younger siblings, etc etc). When in doubt, ask the teacher "Can you explain the use of the title _______?" I'm sure teachers will appreciate you willingness to learn.