Perspective Matters

Learning to differentiate between "intuition" and "personal issue influence"

 

Something that I've been working on for some months now, is learning to differentiate between "energy" and "personal influence". It is hard for me to explain my thought, but here goes.

We have all heard the phrase "Energy doesn't lie although words can be deceptive", or "Trust your intuition", and similar phrases. We might have even seen memes of similar concepts on social media. However, although some may wonder "it took you this long to figure it out?", the same people should realize that they wouldn't say that if they really understood. 😂

We're human.....and as much as some of us would like to think we are more 'evolved' than others,....we are all flawed. We make mistakes. We do things that are disagreeable and find ways to justify our actions or blame others. We look for the faults in others, etc etc.

Energy is indeed a powerful thing. Some people are really skilled at feeling out the energy in a room and adapting accordingly. Some are great at noticing vibes about someone that may be scattered, negative, stressed, joyful, celebrative, struggling, etc. Their intuition is strong.

However, I've been learning that there's a difference between "intuition" and "personal influence".

Our very own belief structures, prejudices, anxieties, insecurities, projected negativity, judgements, etc can indeed influence us, yet make us believe that it is our inner guidance, intuition, or as some might think, "Divine Guidance".  Personal influence is sometimes hard to differentiate from true intuition.

The learning curve is figuring out what is our intuition and what is our projected personal influence. 

I'm still learning and discovering.  And its going to be a ride on that rollercoaster on the learning curve.

Hearing vs. Understanding

 

Sometimes, we hear with our biases and expecations, picking out just enough words to from an opinion. These opinions might be based on our beliefs, insecurities, and even formed to justify our beliefs. 

Hearing, listening, and understanding are different things. When we learn to really listen to all the words, and ask for clarification if needed, will we learn to communicate effectively with others.

#confirmationbias

#communication

#understanding

#hearingvslistening

Not wanting to train?

(this was published in Sept 2020 during the COVID19 pandemic, and i've slightly modified it for repost.)

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 I've noticed a surge in online fitness tutorials on social media and more people taking Zoom classes with their coaches and trainers. I too have experienced increased enrollment in my in person and online classes.

However, I've also noticed there are those that have numerous excuses for not exercising. It's not that they are incapable, it's not that they are mobility challenged, it's not that they don't want to set a goal for exercising....it's just they won't do it.

I've heard many "I can't" type of reasons why students are unable to attend their martial arts class, and many of the reasons are legitimate. However there are some that make me wonder if there are other reasons why they cannot train. The same holds true to other types of exercise. Here are some that I've heard from colleagues who are personal trainers, coaches, and instructors:

"I'm too tired"

 Either the sluggishness convinces you to not head to the gym (and stay on the couch), or the tiredness pulls you away from finishing your workout.

Exercise is one of the best and safest ways to give your energy levels a recharge, but we've all felt that pull of the couch and forget that exercise is an energizer. When you're feeling like not going to training, just try saying to yourself "Well, i'll go and see where I'm at". Chances are, you'll be able to finish the session when your energy bumps ups. Or, if you're in the middle of a workout and want to give up even when you have the energy, try saying to yourself "Okay, just try one more squat", or reminding yourself why you started that day's training in the first place.

"I had a crappy stressful day"

Another excuse that actually says "I don't wanna" and "I choose to stay in this stressed out state of mind".

The stress reducing benefits of any type of exercise are many. Being stressed out or angry is a perfect reason why you get some training in. However, don't look at exercise as something you "have" to do. Choose an exercise modality that you like and enjoy, so that you don't look at the activity as dreaded homework. Walking the dog, a short walk after dinner, or even a short 10 minutes "challenge" of HIIT (high intensity interval training), all count as exercise.  You don't have to workout a whole hour or 2 hours for it to count. Just get that body moving!

"It's raining/too hot/too cold...."

.....and Dorothy's house landed on the Wicked Witch in my backyard.....yada yada yada.

If the weather is the main reason that convinces you to skip out, then you might need to ponder the reasons why you started working out/training in the first place. When people are motivated, they come up with creative ways to get their training in during inclement weather.  Now I'm not saying that you have to drive in the snow in Seattle to get to class (and we know Seattle tends to shut down when it snows 😂).  Train at home. Don't have weights? Find creative ways to get the resistance training in. One time I filled a backpack with water bottles and cardio-walked around my neighborhood. Invest in a inexpensive set of resistance bands, or a dumbell set and adjustable bench. Its amazing how much you can do with a minimum amount of equipment. Practice your kata/forms at home.

"I ate healthy food today, I can skip training today"

Regardless of how advanced we think we are, we are innately reward oriented. However, sometimes our minds trick us into thinking we deserve a reward for very little or no effort. Sometimes we reward ourselves BEFORE the effort ("I'll have this big slice of cheesecake now and get to the gym later to make up for it").

If losing weight is part of your goals, having a healthy diet is only half the battle. The trick is to not confuse "healthy food categories" with healthy eating. For example, having a salad is great, but if you pile on fatty dressing, greasy fried meats, tons of cheese, etc, you've added extra calories that leave you wondering why you're not losing weight. Consult a dietician for advice for your personal goals.

The other half of the battle is building lean muscle to jumpstart your metabolism. If your "healthy food" is overshadowed by unhealthy or empty calories and you skip training, you won't see results.

"I don't have enough space at my house to train my kata/forms"

My house is pretty small. I have enough room to setup my bench and resistance bands to do my weight training, but practicing my forms with the space I have would not be possible unless I modify.

* Upper body only forms practice:  Practice only your upper body movements from a predetermined stance, performing all the moves facing in one direction and simultaneously telling yourself the names of the stances you should be doing for that move. This forces your mind to look at your kata differently and to remember your kata using a different modality.

*Lower body only forms practice:  Same as above, only doing the the stances, adjusting your position when you run out of space, and telling yourself what the upper body is supposed to be doing.

* "Kata in a box": A training method that teach my students, for when they have little to no space at home to practice. It involves switching up your stances and footwork in place, or only moving one stance length in each direction of the form. It is tricky at first, but with practice, you can still practice your forms, and in a way, learn a "new" variation of the from.

"My personal trainer/coach/teacher can't meet with me"

Then learn to train on your own time, using the tips and hints that your trainer gave you at the last training you attended. If you want the gains, you have to work. Not much more I can elaborate on this.

Your work determines your results

 

If you're a martial artist, we've all been there. We've been through days where we just weren't "feeling it", not wanting to go to class, not feeling motivated to work hard that day, just feeling tired, needing some recharge time.  It's fine to take some self care time to oneself, in fact, I always recommend it to my students.  However, when its time to come back to training, it's time to work.

Many times, people tend to base their belt ranks on the years they've been at their Dojo, Kwoon, Dojang, etc. However, being a member for 10 years doesn't mean you have 10 active training years.

An average attendance rate for martial arts is between 2 to 4 classes per week (this is just average, although I know many who attend their classes 5 days a week).  Let's say an average class is 1 hour (yes, I know some hardcore schools will have 90 minute classes or up to 3 hours, but let's just say 1 hour). There are 8,760 hours in a year. That means someone would need to attend that many classes just to equal 1 year.  If someone attends class 2 times per week, that's only 104 hours.

Now I'm not writing this to make people feel bad about not training 5 days a week at their martial arts. We all have lives, we all have responsibilities, perhaps injuries we must take care of, kids to take care of, etc. No teacher or coach should make you feel guilty about not coming to their class 5 days a week.

I'm writing this because I want my own students to understand that it is not the number of classes you attend, it is the EFFORT they put in at each class. If you only put in half effort, it is not going to result in half the results and half the progress.  Half effort produces no real results, because you'd be training yourself to only put in minimal effort. Just do your best at each class, and do your best to practice when you're not in class.

Just as in building muscles, muscles need progressive overload and healthy diet and mindset in order to build and grow. The same applies to martial arts. Skills build with progressive challenges, practicing difficult movements as best as our bodies can while still keeping the standards of the art. Its hard work. And part of that hard work is your mindset. Only you can motivate yourself. Only you can make the decision to push yourself toward the standards of your martial art. Sometimes you might feel like you're starting over and need to push beyond the frustration, dealing with the two steps forward then 1 step back, the feelings of inadequacy, self doubt, and sometimes, even thinking that the teacher owes you promotions for showing up to class. The teacher doesn't 'owe' you anything, and the number of years you've been a member of a school doesn't mean you should automatically get a black belt, if you haven't been putting in the work. You earn what you work for. In doing that, you also "earn more work" (i.e. "earn new material to practice").

THAT is part of the Kung Fu Journey.