Guide for martial Arts parents: 10 things martial arts instructors want parents to know...

As martial arts instructors, we teach all sorts of age ranges. If your school teaches kids, then its important that we teach patience, value of hard work, goal setting, etc. However we must not forget to educate the parents as well.

Unless a parent already has martial arts experience, many parents get their children into martial arts not knowing what it is about....that is what this primer is for.

"10 things Martial Arts instructors want parents to know"

(I will be speaking in terms of my school....)

1. Please use the proper term for the class. I teach Kung Fu, not Karate. While I also carry a black belt ranking in Karate, this class is Kung Fu. If they are cross training in another one of put classes, please use the proper term for the other class(es) well.

2. As stated on your class agreement, please call or email of you child can't make it to class. Just as you would call your child's school when he/she is ill, do notify us as we are a school as well. We plan classes with your child's attendance in mind, and we will need to adjust our class plans accordingly.

3. We  have belt ranks to show a child's progress and to teach the progression to children. Most importantly it teaches children that goals must be worked toward, and that success must be earned, promotion is a privilege (not a right). We didn't make up this ranking system...it has been around for a LONG time. We charge a fee for exams not to make "more money", but to basically pay for that nice belt your child is now wearing. If we have to bring in other teachers and masters to be on the exam board, it helps pay their travel. We make serious decisions about who gets to be on the promotion list, it is not some random name-out-of-a-hat. If you don't wish for your child to be promoted, then my school needs to know BEFORE the fact, not after I put the belt around their waist. However, consider that it is your child that is taking the class, so please consider their wishes as well.

4. I have taken many classes in subjects that relates to what I do and have undergone over 30 years of countless hours of training...please don't dismiss my position as something like a summer camp counselor or recreation leader.  I've studied many things in order to be a good martial Arts teacher.... psychology, accounting, business, philosophy, taken classes in teaching strategies, I take workshops and research many things, study first aid, CPR, and most of all I continue to be a student .....i don't just sit on my laurels as a "Master" The hours you don't see me, I'm practicing hard with my own teachers and putting in sweat and effort to become a better artist and teacher for your child. In many respects, I carry the equivalent of Doctorate degrees....teaching martial Arts is something not all martial artists can do....just because they can do, doesn't mean they can teach well. My goal is to be the best I can at both, to be able to do it well and teach it well.

5. I don't teach martial Arts to make a fast buck. I teach because I love the martial arts and I believe that the self discipline, confidence, and skills of martial arts will continue to be a part of a child's life long after they quit classes. While there are schools out there that charge exorbitant fees....have you noticed that my studio is not 5000 square feet, that I don't have locker rooms, showers, a lounge, and a fancy pro shop? Tuition fees, exam fees, workshop fees, etc pay the rent for our humble studio so that students have a safe place to train.

6. We are an "acceptance" school....we don't take every person off the street. This is why we have the intro trial lessons....it allows the visitor to see if our classes are a fit for what they're looking for, and allows us to see if the visitor is a match for the school. If a visitor has a bad attitude, is cocky or overbearing, they might not be accepted. We've turned away people, but we've always made good references for them to other schools. Doesn't matter if someone offers a large sum of money...if their attitude is negative, demanding (telling me what to teach them, when and how), or boastful, they will he shown the door. I've turned down a $1000 check for a private lessons because the person had a very bad attitude. It's all about the atmosphere of my school and the comfort of my students.

7. On the subject of testing, please don't demand that I test your child or ask when you will test for a rank. You will be notified personally if you or your child is ready to undergo a rank exam. If ready for ranking, then you're ready, if not, you're not.....and we'll let you know. Please leave the decision to the experts. And even if you have previous martial arts experience, allow the chief instructors to make the decisions.

8. We welcome applause and encouragement from parents if watching classes. But please, please please try NOT to correct your child....leave that to the teachers. By shouting across the training area, you take your child's attention away from the trained instructors. Please don't walk onto the floor to change your child's foot placement or posture. We understand that you want your child to do well, but please understand that a child's knowledge kinesthetic sense takes some time to develop. We are happy that you're interested in martial Arts for your child....we have classes where parents can work out with their kids.....you are welcome to do class with us on those days, however even then please leave the teaching to the teachers.

9. If you want your child to learn discipline, then please don't be shocked and tell Timmy to stand up if I put Timmy is a one-minute timeout in horse stance for pushing Johnny to floor in order to be the first in line. If little Johnny makes little Jane cry by not sharing an apparatus, I will have Johnny apologize out loud to Jane and give Johnny 5 to 10 pushups....please don't tell him that he doesn't have to do pushups. The words Please, Thank You, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, etc take priority in the class terminology. We teach kids that "self discipline is doing what is right even when no one is looking." We are trying to enhance similar tenets that you may have at your own home, not take over the discipline.

10. Lastly, please don't use my martial arts class as discipline at your home. Try not to enforce a "horse stance" if they don't clean their room....it will only undermine the real class. Do not threaten to take away martial Arts classes if they do something wrong....if they don't attend class how can they learn that their teacher supports your discipline?  Do not use me or the other teachers as a threat (If you don't clean your room I'll tell Sifu!).

Communication is key.....as they say, "it takes a village". Communicate with your child's martial Arts instructors....it is a team effort. Sometimes you might find some statements or rules sort of odd, or that you might initiatially disagree with some rules. Before you form an opinion, be sure to get information and facts before making assumptions about school procedures. This is for the smooth workings of your child's class.

Beat stagnancy in its tracks

"When you're green you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot" - Ray Kroc

(Part 2 of a 4 part series about the internal (mental, emotional, spiritual) aspects of martial arts and self improvement.)

We all hit a stagnant phase in our martial arts training. That feeling of almost being "bored" in our art. This feeling of stagnancy may manifest as a "lack of interest", a feeling of not feeling motivated, or feeling as if things remain the same even if you try hard.

Someone asked me once some years back, "Wow, 30 years studying martial arts....how do you do it for that long? Doesn't it get old?"

"Old? Not really...." I responded. "I guess I got lucky enough to find something else fun and exciting to play with in my martial arts all this time..."

To best explain why I chose to keep going in the martial arts, beyond the "hobby" phase, I'd like you try this simple visualization/meditation:

From the standpoint of being a martial artist in the present time, ask yourself, "Why did I get into martial arts in the first place?" (insert any long term activity here if you're not a martial artist).  How long ago was it? Did you get into it because you saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Did your parents get you into it to learn about fitness and self discipline? Whatever the reason, think back to that time. What was your first lesson like? Try to remember as many moments of that lesson..... Were you excited at the prospect of learning "ancient fighting moves"? Did you start dreaming of using a staff like that one Ninja turtle? (I forgot which one had the staff!).

Now think about one time where you realized you really "got" a particular technique. Allow yourself to feel that sense of satisfaction and pride in yourself that you "did it". Allow yourself to feel that "reward" of being able to do that same new move again, and again. The trick now is, to find ways to bring that sense of excitement back....otherwise, things might start to be "same old, same old"..

Most times, we grow out it, or something piques our interest enough to get back on the bandwagon and go "gung ho" into the training again. 

If you find yourself hitting a stagnant period of your practice, ask yourself "am I really 'training' or am I merely practicing at a comfortable level?" If someone is practicing the same Kata over and over again, it can get a bit monotonous if you don't approach your training with a mindset that motivates you to find a new twist to the Kata or the finding a way to apply the Kata in a way that improves other facets of your training.

For example, let's take the basic Kata or routine from your art. Do it once, as best as you can. Okay, looks great...but how to improve? How about putting a new weapon in your hand, one you haven't worked with before. I taught a basic Eskrima class to people who had little or no weapons experience, and the addition of an apparatus really brings one's awareness back into the form...instead of just "doing the Kara", now you have to think again! Puts a different spin on the same Kata!

Try doing your kata slow. I mean really slow, with stances lower than you normally would. At my school we call this "low and slow" training. The trick here is to not cheat by making the transitions between movements too quickly....instead think of making the pace consistently slow throughout the form. Your legs in the low stances might remind you they are working. :) You might find your balance a little off, or that you might lose your place in the form a time or two. This "tai chi" type of training can aid in keeping your awareness in each movement.

Sparring: Let your imagination drum up different ways to approach sparring. How about sparring one handed? Maybe not allowing kicks with one leg? How about adding the "push hands" or "chi Sao" sticky hands exercise to your drills? There are many possibilities!

Let your creativity go wild in finding different ways to train your self defense, sparring, forma and fitness. Creativity is one way to beat stagnancy! I would love my readers to share their own methods and ideas for fun alternative training drills and activities.....please post!

Aware mind and Thinking mind in martial arts and other experiences....

This is part 3 of a series about the 'internal' aspects of martial arts training. Its nothing mystical...its simply the mental and emotional components we have that help or hinder our training and motivation. :)

Thinking, or more precisely identification with thinking, gives rise to and maintains the ego, which, in our Western society in particular, is out of control. It believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy. Negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, envy, and jealousy, are products of the ego.

                                                                                                                     - Eckhart Tolle


I was talking to someone about the meditation practice that I open to the public each month. I invited him to a session and he said "I'm not very good at it, I can't get my mind to shut off, I keep thinking."

"That's why its called 'practice'. Its not called a 'meditation master' class." I replied.

"I don't know how you guys do it..." he said. "I just can't get my mind to shut off".

"Its not about shutting off your thoughts....Its about not dwelling on them or passing judgments based on them. If you're not thinking, you're dead." I said. "But...we tend to over-think a lot of times. Meditation balances us out a bit, and allows us to to be open, honest, and aware. Its just sitting and experiencing each moment as it comes without judgement and without goal. Its a quiet awareness....not not overactive thinking. You could benefit from the practice...you should try it out".

I  haven't seen him at a practice yet.

So, what's the difference between the Awareness mind and the Thinking mind, anyway? I'm just going to present my view, based on experiences so far.....pardon me if I ramble.

Awareness is a 'moving stillness'...it moves from one moment to the next, not dwelling on the material from a previous moment, nor judging the moment or material. Our thinking mind can become judgmental or try to convince us that we can predict the future *based on past experiences". There's a catch to this "future prediction"....if your experiences with something are what you consider as "bad", then there is the possibility that you will "expect" the same if a similar experience happens.

Awareness is now, not the future or supposed possibilities. Awareness allows us to recognize and experience the world around us, whereas thought can give us the ability to change how we view the experiences. Awareness is acknowledging each moment and living each moment as it comes without trying to control, prove or disprove.

Thoughts are largely comprised of things we've remembered, imagination, even "pictures" and words. However, the thinking mind tends to bring out the judgmental sides of us. For example, consider the "Vulcans" of the "Star Trek" series.....Logic was a revered trait, and everything was based on this "thinking mind" and logic. It is possible to become obsessive with the thinking mind, logic and reason,... that it affects our ability to feel emotions fully. Some may turn overtly to the thinking and logical mind to avoid past emotions that were painful, or to maintain a sense of "control".

I'm not saying that logic and reason will turn you into Mr. Spock. We all need logic and reason to experience the world in many degrees. However, if we get stuck in logic and become overdependent and obsessive with it, it can probably prevent us from getting "full" experiences.
So, how can we use awareness in our martial arts training? Well, one good exercise is to feel your body as you practice a form or Kata. Feel each stance as you move....check your stance without looking down at it....does it feel correct? If not, correct it the best way you can, based on what you perceive a "correct" stance to be. If you don't know if it is correct or not, ask your teacher. If you make a mistake, don't concern yourself with "did Sensei see that?" or "I'll never get this right"....that negative self talk is your THINKING mind being judgmental. As we practice awareness in our martial arts training, we must be honest with ourselves. If we try to control everything and pay attention to every little thing, that is not awareness....that is merely the need to control. Its as if you impose your opinion on everybody else while saying you will hear others...., that is not awareness, that is still the need to be controlling. Its hard for us to let go....many people see this as "giving up control" or "relinquishing one's power" or even "giving in to delusions".

Awareness, however, is not expecting or waiting for things to happen. In my martial arts classes, we say the "awareness is the most important aspect of training". However many students assume that it means "paying attention to what is going on around us....and most times, they associate this awareness exercise with an exercise we do called "circle drill", where people in a circle randomly "attack" the person in the middle of the circle, who in turn has to defend himself/herself. In this type of attention, the attacks are already expected....the defender just has to react. Is it still awareness? Depends on how you approach the exercise.

Ever meet a martial artist or athlete that instantly knows what needs to be adjusted in their movement or technique? Those people have great body awareness. Ever see a beginner or intermediate martial artist be corrected by the teacher in class, only to repeat the same mistake over and over? Its not that they are necessarily "uncoordinated", its just that they need more practice at being aware and present in their own bodies......it is common for beginners to concentrate so much on the outside form of the techniques, trying to get their fist to go this way and their legs to go that way.....and that can prevent the inner awareness from paying attention. This is expected. Practice is the key.

I tell my students all the time about how our minds can trip us up by being tricked by our own need to be in control.....and many have found that the harder they grasp on to control of their goals, the lesser grip they have on the process of getting to the goal. And some have found that if they get too logical and scientific with their martial arts, the less it makes sense and the less intuitive their reaction times are. When I say "stop thinking so hard", I'm often met with a blank look.

Again.....I'm not saying that logic, reason, and the thinking mind are bad. I'm not saying that at all (Did some of the judgmental minds think so??). As I said earlier...."Thought" is part of the content of awareness, and thought allows us to reflect...which in turn, allows us to grow intellectually, emotionally, and even spiritually. Overthink, and you override the process of turning thought to intuition. Many people make the choice to not listen to their intuition or "follow their heart" because they believe that thinking with intuition or emotions only leads to heartbreak. I disagree. Whatever negative things that happen when you follow your gut, has nothing to do with you following your gut! If something doesn't go your way, its usually because you still tried to impose your control over the event or person. That's not following awareness of intuition.

I've taught students who are very concerned about the "science" of martial arts"...the exactness of perfect parries, the perfect stance, etc. To a certain extent, as martial artists we must embrace the science, but allow awareness.of "now" to develop into "intuition". Let's face it....when the crap hit the fan during a physical confrontation, the assailant won't give a hoot about how good your grasp of martial "science" is. You have to pay attention to "right now" if you want to fight effectively.

 I know other's views might be different, I've even been accused of having "negative" views of the overly logical bunch. I'm not looking for judgement or being told I'm wrong or right....to be honest, I don't much concern myself with what anyone else thinks . (And I don't mean that in a mean way....I'm just saying that comments that come from people who feel the need to argue or to prove their point, don't bother me). When the judgmental minds start balking, they really aren't listening. Its kind of hard to listen when you are holding on to listening yourself think,and grasping so tightly to maintain control of your reality.

I'd be interested in hearing your views on Aware-Mind vs. Thinking Mind. Remember though.....no judgments! :)

Academic knowledge, experiential wisdom

*This is part 4 of a series about the internal (emotional, spiritual, mental, etc) aspects of learning martial arts. *

In an earlier blog post, "Is it knowledge, or just your opinion?", I spoke about surface knowledge and actual internalized knowledge. Now I'd like to post thought about "experiential wisdom"....something gained when you truly know and understand something. Experiential wisdom is gained in any subject, but in this case I'll be speaking about martial Arts.

If you're a martial arts teacher, you've met them before...the people who talk more about what they know instead of having skill that matches all that information. When you invite them on the floor, they politely decline, or they have an attitude that screams "inflated perception of one's own abilities."

Memorizing techniques and retaining academic information is great....but I'm a believer that people shouldn't say that they know something unless they've worked at it for a long while and has explored as many aspects of it.....otherwise, its merely thin opinion, not knowledge. True knowledge of a subject can't be gained by merely reading books or scouring the internet....you have to practice it, explore it, feel it.....and all the while keeping an open mind that allows for other variations of information to be considered for your learning. Most of all, you have to give that new found knowledge time to integrate with your experience. It is this time, as well as absorbing the knowledge and experience, that eventually turns into experiental wisdom. The thing to remember is to allow time and practice.

Too many times however, in martial arts, some choose to consider themselves experts at something when they have little experience. Give it time....give it energy and commitment. Accept that you don't know it all and stay motivated to gain actual experience.

Wisdom awaits....what will you discover in the meantime?

Is it knowledge, or just your opinion?

Part 1 of a series on internal aspects of martial arts and self improvement....

Have you ever noticed, that the most opinionated people tend to rant, complain and find fault the fastest? While those who are truly knowledgeable make their points known, but not point fingers and look down their noses at others?

I call the behavior of complainers and know-it-alls, the "attempt to control Universal knowledge".

I get youngsters visiting my studio a lot, many times with previous Karate or Tae Kwon Do experience....usually around 3 to 6 months. When they take their intro lessons at my school, sometimes I'll be interrupted with "Karate does it like THIS..." Or "That's easy, I already know dragon stance...." (when in fact they have never done it before).

So why do young kids blurt things out like that? Adults in the martial arts know that if they interrupted the teacher, they'd get a bunch of pushups. But even if the kids knew this, it doesn't stop them. Why not?

Because there's that point in childhood where everything is about them and what they know...for many youngsters, their world is the world everybody else experiences. This mode of perception could be at 2 years old, could extend all through teenage years. I know some adults that still think their perceived world is the only true world. :)  kidding aside, if kids are exposed to only one thing, one activity, one facet, without seeing the variations, they believe that is exactly what everyone knows....a "universal knowledge". They're not trying to be rude, they just assume everything is Karate.

I had one new 4 year old tell me I needed to get karate belts. "we wear sashes to show our belt rank" I said.   "yeah, but...but. but you should get belts so everyone knows what belt you are." Heh heh!  The child didn't hear what I said....instead made sure I knew the right way to do things. :)

Ever notice too, that the word "you" is used a lot by those who feel the need to prove their point? More "you" refererences than "I" references....usually in pointing out others supposed faults..."You need to do this", "you need to do that."....many times this phrase is used by "academic masters" not true, "knowledge earned though toil-sweat-and-struggle" masters. Hint, teachers....try saying 'that skill needs....(insert points), and here are tips for you in practice"....this allows students to feel a GAIN, not a sense of incompetence when you say something like "you NEED to relax!" They know they 'need' to, but since they know they're not there yet (otherwise you wouldn't be saying "you need to...") , it can make them feel that they're missing something. Just goes to show that just because you know, doesn't mean you can do. Just because you can do, doesn't mean you can teach.

Problem is, sometimes people don't grow out of that mode of thinking. People assume everyone should think like they do, and they look down upon anyone that doesn't think as they do. They make general assumptions, even going so far as to label others with their opinionated "truths".  Personally, I'm getting tired of seeing constant flame wars about which martial arts is best, religion vs. Athiesm, people thinking they're smarter than others, labeling others as stupid or delusional, Tai Chi style arguments, the best way to make a pie, etc etc......In the end no one gives a hoot about how smart you *think* you are or how good you *think* you are....a Get a grip on Ego and the need to be right, people.

. Someone once tried to tell me who I was as a person, what I thought, and what my beliefs were......WRONG WRONG and WRONG. (yup and the words "you you and you" were used a lot)..... It was all based on opinion, not true knowledge about me as a person or an attempt to try and understand my core beliefs. I didn't believe exactly as they did, and therefore I'm black sheep....something they themselves despised being tagged as. Go figure. It is said that knowledge is power.....but be careful that your don't rely on it as your sole support. That would be like relying solely on your pocketknife for self defense, and not going to Martial arts class because hey, you have a knife right? Don't need anymore of that antiquated martial arts stuff. Get that knife taken away from you or get frozen by adrenaline dump....NOW WHAT? You should realize that the knife is a tool in your toolbox of self defense or combat tactics....no one tool will match every job. So the next time you think about being a blowhard, ask "Is this true knowledge or just my opinion based on my biases?"

Book Review: "Beyond Human--Claiming the Power and Magic of your limitless self"

I wrote an editorial review of the book "Beyond Human--Claiming the Power and Magic of your limitless self" by Jaden Rose Phoenix, because I believe that the concepts and insights in this book would be great for martial artists. This book goes beyond run-of-the-mill "self help" books (and I've read a lot of books in the genre), allows the reader an opportunity to feel comfortable in moving the veil of human Ego aside, and take a deep look inside.

Want to move beyond fear, self doubt, and other roadblocks that prevent you from attaining goals? Then is MindBodySpirit book is a wonderful place to learn ways to "get out of your head" and into personal successes.

Don't worry, reading this book won't make people think you're weird or a spacy "woo-woo" New Ager. This fear is what prevents many from reading books like this..... however, Jaden takes the jargon, mystery and "guru mythos" out of it, and explains techniques to make positive shifts away from our control-freak-expectation oriented brain barriers. In my opinion, many of us (if not all of us) program our own thought patterns into belief systems, and hold so tightly onto these patterns that sometimes we work too hard to fulfill our self-made prophecies....it feels good to be "right", doesn't it? But sometimes we want to be "right" all the time and we'll fight tooth and nail to prove ourselves right. Jaden's techniques help guide people out of this self-programming and Ego feeding, and onto success. As Jaden points out... "fear is simply an illusion".

Many of our stumbling blocks to success are based on fear. We've all probably seen the saying: "Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real", right? Well, many people, when they hear this, become motivated to move beyond fear, however they will ignore the fear in a vain attempt at courage.....but this doesn't solve the issues as to WHY you fear situations, people, or things. Nor does it address HOW to move beyond it.  Jaden's book moves you through finding your way through fear, and to a "point of Power".

Its a quick read, entertaining, and the exercises Jaden presents are easy...with no experience in meditation or any other "consciousness practices" required. Give it a look!

Available at Amazon.com

Middle age: Crisis or celebration? For me, a celebration!

I'll be turning 45 this month. Yes, not often do women give away their age, but I'm okay with it. :)

What exactly is the "mid-life crisis" that people so often speak of? Is it where people ask themselves "Am I where I hoped I would be?", "Well damn it, I should be at *this* goal but I'm not, now what?". Is it a realization that we're not as nimble as when we were 20?

Whatever it is, I don't see middle age as a crisis. I see it as a celebration, for me at least. Each year is a celebration, because I wasn't even supposed to be here, actually.....

I was born prematurely, at 6 months. Being that technology for premature baby care in hospitals was still very new at the time, I had to be airlifted from the small hospital in the outskirts of Seattle where I was born, to University Hospital in greater Seattle, where their new wing for premature births had just opened, with all the latest medical technology of mid 1960's. The doctors whisked me away from my mother after I was born, trying to keep my tiny lungs from collapsing and to keep my heart beating. According to Mom, I started to come out breech, then the doctor tried to turn me around, then my foot kicked out (hmmm, sign to be a martial artist?), but they finally turned me around. I did not cry at birth, and my appearance made the doctors realize they'd better do something quick. My Mom says that I fit in the palm of the doctor's hand. Wow, hard for me to imagine!

After being airlifted to University Hospital, I was kept in intensive care for 3 months in an incubator, hooked up to breathing tubes and lines stuck into my arms. According to my Mom, several other preemies were in the same room in other incubators...another 6 month old, and a couple 7 month olds. They passed away a few days later. My parents started to freak out....they didn't even name me yet, because they weren't sure if I was going to make it either. My Mom remembers... "When I would see you with all those tubes sticking out, I would always feel faint!" A small hole in my heart was something that the doctors debated about operating on, being cautious as they didn't know if I'd survive the operation. But apparently, the hole closed up on its own and I started to breathe on my own.

After staying in the hospital till "full term", Mom and Dad finally got to take me home. There's a picture my Mom has of my homecoming, and I still ask my Mom to this day "Wow, that was me? I was soooo tiny!" I definitely wasn't the same size as most newborns when they come home.

What's funny, is that I was told by friends that I "change" as the days come nearer to each birthday. Sometimes this "change" might be "spaciness", sometimes incredible changes in temperament, sometimes even changes in "energy". I used to scoff at it, convinced it was all in their heads. But, oddly, as I think back, I remember many occasions *after* my birthday where out of the blue I'd "hear" odd noises like muffled voices, doors opening and closing..."feel" odd sensations like being picked up, hands on me, being cold (even in the middle of summer!), the feeling of being short of breath....and sometimes, I'll pick up the distictive odors of iodine, alcohol, and "new carpet" out of the blue (I still don't understand the new carpet smell!) ! Some have theorized that somehow I "remember" some parts of my months in the hospital, but I honestly don't remember anything specific! Would these changes in temperament and odd sensations be a result of my body "remembering" the trauma?

My Mom has always said "There's a reason why you lived through that, even though those other older babies-bless their souls-did not". To this day I still wonder what the reason is, but I'm guessing the path I've chosen to take has led to me several things: Sharing with others, following my passions, experiencing the many lessons of Love, Happiness, even Anger (and other less than savory emotions), and feeling joy for even the littlest of things. If this is what being "alive" is, and if this is the reason I'm here, then I hope for at least another 45 years.

Mob mentality: Vancouver, what happened?

Last night, Downtown Vancouver BC erupted in violence and looting after the Canucks lost the Stanley Cup final. Story here: http://www.lawofficer.com/article/news/vancouver-hockey-fans-run-wild (thanks to Brian King for the link)

I must say....I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. When we had riots here in Seattle in 1992 about the Rodney King verdicts (http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?displaypage=output.cfm&file_id=3054) , it was sort of understandable. I was still disappointed in our city back then, about the lack of emotional control that the citiziens of our city displayed. But, I have a few words for Vancouver:

IT IS A FREAKING GAME, FOLKS!
 A GAME! JUST A GAME!Let me reiterate....I'm not disappointed at Vancouver as a city. I'm disappointed at the citizens that CHOSE to throw a temper tantrum just because their team didn't win. I'm disappointed in the women that crashed through stores and stole Coach bags and stole makeup and clothes. I disapointed in the people that didn't care that there were people that just wanted to get out of the riot area. We'd expect this type of behavior from 4 year olds that don't get what they want.....but grown adults. Come on.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm better than that and spout fortune cookie wisdom. I'm not going to sit here and type about how badly those riot mongers acted and try to give counsel and advice as to how the violence can be "controlled", nor will I spout off about "Its not about if you win or lose, its about how you play the game". You know why? Because we are HUMAN.

Anger is a secondary emotion. In the case of the Canucks loss, the fan's own disappointment (sadness?) played a big factor. Can you imagine?...after all the buildup of the Canucks making it to the finals, and playing on home turf....can you imagine wanting the victory so badly on your own turf that you could literally taste it? Then being soundly defeated on your turf? I'd be disappointed too! We're human and yes its natural to feel that disappointment.

But what separates rioters from those who can just move on, is how we process that disappointment. It is common for anger to rear its ugly head and cause us to want to inflict the same hurt and disappointment on someone else, or in this case, to destroy the streets of downtown Vancouver. The mob mentality is so easy to get sucked into. All it takes is just a few other people to do what you only think of doing....and if you see others doing it, then it tends to trick our brains into thinking that you now "have permission" to do the same ("if they can do it so can I"). There's a lot of news footage of people standing near burning cars and throwing garbage....do you think they actually thought about the video proof that could land them in jail? Of course not....the only thing that mattered was letting loose of that anger about losing the Stanley Cup.

I'm sure that most of the people that were involved in the looting and violence, would never start such actions on their own. "Strength in numbers". But come on Vancouver brothers and sisters....looting is STEALING for gosh sakes. Vandalism is vandalism, doesn't matter that the Canucks lost and you think its okay that trashing the streets is justified.

This is why I practice martial arts....it allows me to remind myself to keep concentration on myself as well as everybody else. Having been a victim of my own anger and fury, I know how it can affect my critical thinking, problem solving skills, and awareness. I've said and done things out of anger that I've regretted ....and I know that I might give in to anger again. But I can only hope that I can recognized myself when I get to the fury point and "check myself before I wreck myself".

Is "mob mentality" necessarily a bad thing? Not really....depends on what type of mob mentality we're talking about. If a group of people are thinking positively and working toward a good goal, then people call it "Group Support". But if the group is feeding anger to each other, then we tend to call it "mob mentality". But in the end, the group thinking and the cohesiveness of the group is the same....they're both "mob mentality"....but its just a matter of what mentality we choose.

Positive Mob for me, please. :)