Some Martial Arts Instructors Don’t Teach Children, And Why Others could beneft

 

Some Martial Arts Instructors Don’t Teach Children, 
And Why Others Could Benefit

Martial arts has long been celebrated as a path of discipline, respect, and personal growth. Yet, walk into any martial arts community gathering and ask about teaching children, and you’ll hear a wide range of opinions—from enthusiastic yeses to firm nos with crossed arms and arched eyebrows.

So why do some martial arts instructors shy away from teaching kids? And more importantly… what are they missing out on?

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The Hesitation: Why Some Instructors Say “No Thanks” to Kids’ Classes

Let’s be real—teaching kids is a whole different kind of Dojo experience. While adults generally show up for structure, philosophy, and physical improvement, What do young kids show up for? They might show up in Spider-Man pajamas, mid-sugar rush, with no idea why bowing in even matters.

Here are a few common reasons instructors may choose not to teach children:

• Discipline Challenges: Kids, especially younger ones, can be unpredictable, energetic, and easily distracted. Not every instructor feels equipped—or patient enough—to handle that. 

• Purist Philosophy: Some instructors believe martial arts should be reserved for those who can fully grasp its deeper meaning. They worry that simplifying things for children waters down the art. Some believe that teaching kids is a "sellout".

• Training Quality Concerns: There’s a fear that kids won’t take training seriously, or that their presence might lower the intensity or quality of the class environment, and  While instructors will indeed have kids that don't take the training seriously, let's remember that there are adults who don't as well....jumping around from style to syle or treating the classes as just something to do after work.   
  My goal each day is to train everyone with the same quality, regardless of if they take it seriously or not. After all, the ones that do take it seriously will benefit, and I hope that ones that don't, gain some type of skill to carry into their other endeavors.

• Lack of Experience or Curriculum: Let’s face it, teaching kids requires a different skillset, a different mode of communication, a different attitude, and often a revamping of the curriculum so that it is broken down for a child's learning curve. Some instructors may not feel prepared for that, saying "I'm not good with kids". 

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Why Teaching Kids is Actually a Hidden Gem: And it's not just for business

Despite the challenges, many instructors who do teach kids discover something surprising: it’s incredibly rewarding. And not just in a heartwarming way—though there’s plenty of that, too.

Benefits for Instructors:

• Legacy Building: Teaching kids allows instructors to pass down their knowledge and help shape the next generation of martial artists. That’s not just teaching—that’s creating a lineage. I started martial arts as a little girl, wit h the dream of having my own Dojo....and here I am now teaching people of all ages.

• Refined Teaching Skills: Do you want to learn how to teach with clarity and creativity? Try explaining stances to a six-year-old. You’ll become a better communicator across the board. You'll need to break down each movement in a clear and simple way, which deepens your own understanding of what you thought you mastered. Doing something and teaching something are two different skills.

• Business Sustainability: Let’s be real—kids’ classes can be the backbone of a martial arts school’s financial health. Teaching them creates community roots, long-term students and the support and assistance of the kid's parents.

• Creativity in curriculum: Instructors need not "gamify" every drill or exercise. Sure, you can make learning Kata fun by adding some fun games, but the trick is to balance the teaching of the "serious" material of your style, fostering children's confidence, and making class enjoyable.....without necessarily watering down the art. It takes practice and planning.

• Personal Fulfillment: Seeing a shy child gain confidence, or an ADHD child channel their energy into focus—that’s the kind of thing that keeps instructors inspired. I know that's what keeps me inspired.

Benefits for Kids:

• Discipline and Focus: Martial arts helps kids develop self-control, focus, and patience—skills that transfer straight to the classroom and beyond.

• Confidence and Self-Esteem: Whether it’s learning a new Kata, breaking their first board or earning a new belt, kids learn to believe in themselves through effort and progress.

• Respect and Responsibility: Bowing, listening to instructions, respecting themselves, their classmates and parents, helping peers—all fundamental parts of martial arts culture that help shape respectful behavior.

• Physical Fitness: Martial arts is a fun way to stay active, improve coordination, and build lifelong habits of movement.

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Final Thought

As martial arts instructors, we often say we’re not just teaching punches and kicks—we’re shaping lives. And that starts young.

“A great teacher doesn’t just teach skills—they shape character. When we teach a child, we plant the seeds of strength, respect, and resilience that will grow for a lifetime.”

So to the instructors on the fence—it's okay that you're on the fence, and you own the choice of incuding kids in your style or not.  However, it's good to remember that what you teach any student today… might be what changes the world tomorrow.....no matter what their age.

Meditation: Its not about "thinking of nothing"

 

When most people hear the word meditation, a very specific image often comes to mind: someone sitting cross-legged on a cushion, fingers pinched in a perfect mudra, softly chanting “Ohm” in a quiet room filled with incense. While that’s certainly one version of meditation, it’s far from the full story.

The truth is, meditation isn’t just about how you sit or what you chant—it’s about how you show up for yourself and the present moment. It’s not mystical or reserved for yogis on mountaintops. Meditation is practical, adaptable, and beneficial for people of all ages—including children.

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What Is Meditation, Really?

At its core, meditation is the practice of training your mind to be present, aware, and engaged. It’s like going to the gym, but instead of building biceps, you’re building mental clarity, emotional resilience, and calm. Many people feel that they can't do meditation because they "can't think of nothing". It's about being right there, right now. Find a thought about that bill you forgot to pay? Acknowledge it and continue without being hung up on it.

And it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Meditation can be:

• Sitting quietly and following your breath.

• Walking slowly and feeling the ground beneath your feet.

• Washing dishes with full attention to the sound and sensation of the water.

• Listening to music with complete focus—no phone, no distractions. Most people can do that, that's a form of meditation. Sometimes, I sit with my headphones and follow only one instrument as the music plays. It keeps me in the present moment while enjoying the rhythm of the music.

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Why Mindfulness Matters in Daily Life

Mindfulness—the practice of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment—has proven mental and physical benefits:

• Reduced stress and anxiety: Mindfulness helps calm the nervous system and regulate emotional responses.

• Improved focus: Training your mind to return to the present sharpens attention over time.

• Better sleep: A quieter mind means less tossing and turning.

• Emotional regulation: With regular mindfulness practice, it becomes easier to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

• More meaningful connections: Being present with others improves communication and deepens relationships.

These benefits apply to everyone—from busy parents and overworked professionals to energetic children and even teens navigating social pressures.  These skills allow us to stay on point with work, school, and everyday tasks such as driving, operating machinery, etc. Staying in the moment is so important when it comes to things like driving!

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Kids Can Meditate Too

Children are naturally curious and imaginative, making them perfect candidates for mindfulness—if it’s presented in a way they can understand. Meditation for kids can look like:

• Guided imagery: Visualizing a peaceful place or favorite animal.

• Mindful breathing with props: Watching a feather rise and fall on their breath.

• Mind jars: A glitter-filled jar they shake, then watch settle to represent their emotions calming down.

Even just a few minutes a day can help children manage emotions, build empathy, and improve concentration at school. At my school, our martial arts kids practice Mokuso for a couple minutes after each class. Sometimes we balance a beanbag on our heads to keep aware, sometimes listening for cars passing by and counting them, sometimes counting the ticking clock. After one class, a child muttered "Wow I didn't know there was a clock in the class!" To which i answered, "See? When we really pay attention, we notice things we never noticed before". 

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Not All Meditation Is Sitting

Here are a few meditation techniques that break away from the stereotype:

1. Walking Meditation Focus on the rhythm of your steps, the sensation of your feet touching the ground, and the sounds around you. Each step becomes a reminder: I am here.

2. Standing meditation Stand with feet shoulder width apart, allowing the arms to hand down at sides (beginners). Let the top of the head rise upward, focus your mind on your center of gravity, and "sit" into the legs. Feel the weight evenly on both feet and let go of body tension as you notice it.

3. Body Scan Lie down or sit comfortably. Bring awareness to each part of your body, starting from your toes to your head. This promotes relaxation and awareness of tension.

4. Breath Counting Inhale and exhale—count “one.” Continue up to ten, then start again. If your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring it back without judgment.

5. Mindful Eating Take a single bite of food. Chew slowly. Notice the flavor, texture, and aroma. This not only enhances enjoyment but helps prevent overeating.

6. Sound Meditation Sit quietly and listen: birds, a fan, distant voices. Try not to label the sounds—just hear them.

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A Practice for Real Life

Meditation doesn’t require robes, incense, or chanting. It only asks that you pay attention. Whether you’re sitting, walking, parenting, or washing dishes, mindfulness is about anchoring yourself to the here and now.

Just a few minutes a day can shift your mindset, calm your nerves to lessen stress, and bring clarity to the chaos of daily life.

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Closing Thought

"Mindfulness is the key to a happy and peaceful life. It is the miracle which can call back in a flash our dispersed mind and restore it to wholeness so that we can live each minute of life."
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Tai Chi isn't just for your grandparents

 

Tai Chi: It's Not Just for Old People

When you picture someone practicing Tai Chi, what comes to mind? For many, it's the image of an older adult in a park, slowly moving through graceful, meditative motions. And while Tai Chi is indeed a favorite among seniors—and for good reason—it’s time to bust the myth: Tai Chi is not just for old people. 

When I was younger, I believed Tai Chi was an activity that only older people did when they couldn't move as easily anymore.

In reality, Tai Chi is a dynamic, adaptable, and deeply powerful martial art and wellness practice that can benefit everyone, regardless of age, athletic ability, or experience level. Let's explore why.

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What Is Tai Chi, Really?

Tai Chi (or Taijiquan) is an ancient Chinese internal martial art that combines slow, deliberate movements, breathing techniques, and mental focus. Originally developed for self-defense, it evolved into a practice known for promoting balance, flexibility, and inner calm.

Tai Chi literally means “Supreme Ultimate,” and its philosophy is rooted in Taoism and the balance of yin and yang. It’s not just movement—it’s moving meditation, and when practiced with intention, it can be physically challenging, mentally enriching, and spiritually grounding.

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Benefits of Tai Chi—for All Ages

1. Improves Balance and Coordination

Tai Chi trains your proprioception—your body’s sense of position in space—making it ideal for athletes, dancers, and anyone looking to move more efficiently.

2. Enhances Flexibility and Strength

Don't be fooled by the slow pace—holding stances and moving mindfully strengthens muscles, increases joint mobility, and promotes better posture.

3. Reduces Stress and Increases Focus

Tai Chi emphasizes relaxed breathing, mindful awareness, and flowing movement. That makes it a perfect counterbalance to the high-stress, screen-heavy lifestyle of modern students and working professionals.

4. Boosts Cardiovascular and Respiratory Health

Regular practice increases stamina and oxygen intake. Some forms of Tai Chi even elevate the heart rate to moderate aerobic levels.

5. Sharpened Mental Clarity

The cognitive challenge of remembering sequences, coordinating limbs, and aligning the body with breath builds focus and mental discipline.

6. Martial Application and Self-Defense

Yes—Tai Chi is a martial art. Its techniques are based on physics, leverage, and energy redirection. Practiced with intent, it's highly effective for self-defense.

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Some Styles of Tai Chi

There are many styles, some considered "major Family" styles, and others as smaller branch or lesser known family styles. Here are just a few:

• Chen Style: The original form, with low stances, coiled energy, and bursts of explosive power (fa jin). Great for martial training.

• Yang Style: The most widely practiced, known for its large, open movements and smooth, flowing rhythm. Excellent for beginners and general wellness.

• Wu Style: A more compact frame with subtle internal focus, ideal for practitioners who enjoy internal energy work.

• Sun Style: Incorporates elements of Xingyi and Bagua, featuring agile steps and a slightly upright posture. Popular for its gentle transitions and ease on the joints.

• Wu/Hao Style: Less commonly seen, this style is characterized by small, precise movements and a deep emphasis on internal alignment.

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Getting Started: Practice Points for Any Age

1. Start Slow, Stay Consistent
   You don’t need to master all 108 moves of a long form on day one. Even 10 minutes of daily practice can yield noticeable benefits.

2. Find the Right Instructor
   Look for someone certified and experienced in working with your age group and goals—whether fitness, meditation, or martial development.

3. Dress Comfortably and Focus on Posture
   Soft-soled shoes and loose clothing help movement flow naturally. Pay attention to spinal alignment and relaxation.

4. Practice Outdoors or in a Quiet Space
   Fresh air and peaceful surroundings enhance the meditative quality of Tai Chi. Bonus: You’ll start to feel more grounded and present.

5. Breathe Naturally
   Coordinating breath with movement calms the nervous system and deepens the practice.

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Tai Chi Is for Everyone

From kids needing focus and calm, to teens exploring martial movement or their self awareness, to adults looking for holistic fitness, and yes—even seniors managing mobility—Tai Chi delivers. It's not about age. It's about balance, strength, awareness, and energy. It took me until my early 30's to appreciate the practice, but as they say, better late than never.  :)  I credit Tai Chi practice in helping me recover from a back injury that resulted in bad peripheral neuropathy. Tai Chi helped me become very aware of my limbs, especially in walking, to help prevent my feet from tripping myself, as I couldn't feel my feet very well. And, if I did feel my feet, the sensation of pins and needles was so painful. The practice helped calm my feelings of "being useless" and quell the frustration of not being able to do the things I was doing before the injury. 

So the next time someone says Tai Chi is just for old people, remind them:

Tai Chi is for warriors of every age.

  

Communication & Understanding

 

Many misunderstandings happen when you think something should be a certain way and you assume that others should think the same. Or, misunderstandings arise when you don't communicate yet believe that it has. 

No one is a mind reader. Have the courage to communicate. You might find that misunderstandings, disagreements, squabbles, attitudes of separateness, and yes even discrimination, will turn up less and less.

Training with a purpose

 

One of the questions on the intake/preregistration form of my classes is "What do you hope to gain in the class(es) you chose?". It is a multiple choice list that potential students can choose from, including "self discipline", "weight loss", "recreation", among others.  

The premise behind the question on the intake form, is to jump start a goal-oriented mindset with the potential student. Many people join for something to do or for a hobby, while others join to improve their health, or learn self protection, etc. But what really floats your boat?

 Since parents normally fill out the form for their child, the parent tends to choose what they'd like to see their child gain. Then, during the interview after their 3 intro lessons, I ask the child directly "What do YOU want to improve on? What do you want to learn?"

With kids, the kids don't initially think about "controlling my mind" or "Honor" or even "Respect". It may be hard for parents to find that out, but for the most part, kids want something specific to them.

After his trial lessons, one young boy answered not too long ago, "I wanna move good so other kids at school don't laugh at me". He was so honest....that's what he wanted. It wasn't about "I want a black belt", or "I want to improve my mental clarity" or anything like that. His reason was specific to him.

Quote of the week

 

What's in a name? "Sisuk" (part 4 of a series)

This is part 4 of a series regarding martial arts titles. I started the series with the titles used in my classes. Although the titles may have different context from school to school, I hope this series clarifies things for my own students; in terms of the actual meaning of the title and its context at Seattle Wushu Center's Kajukenbo classes.

In the context of Chinese martial arts (kung fu), "sisuk" (师叔) refers to a junior kung fu uncle. It's a title of respect used for a fellow student or teacher who is of a lower status or ranking than one's teacher.

Traditionally, the title would refer to your teacher's lower ranking classmate (from their own
Sifu's school) and you would call your teacher's younger classmate as "Sisuk". However in
some schools, the title can also sometimes refer to a student of the Sifu that is lower rank than the Sifu.

However, at our school, the title is given by the Sifu (me) and not an automatic form of address.
The title is given to those of purple to green belt who have expressed interest in becoming an assistant,
a coach or a future teacher. The Sisuk may assist students (with Sifu's supervision) up to their own rank.


Those that want to assist but haven't the time to attend other classes to assist, are called "Jo Lei" (assistant), but that's for another blog post!)

Spring is here, Summer approaching,...its martial arts scam season!

 

I forgot that I had this post in drafts, so I'm publishing it late.
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Had a funny thing happen today. I received another potential scam email. 😆

What made my red-flag ears go up, is the randomness of the message. Normally, when prospective clients first contacts me, they do so by filling out the contact form on my website. Most don't contact me directly at my email address unless they get the email address from a friend who already attends my school, or from a parent of a child that attends my school. I get these types of emails a lot mainly during the summer.....many of them chargeback scams.  Funny that my teacher-colleague, Kathy Long, got the same message the same day, asking about tennis lessons, then the scammer just cut and pasted the text into an email to me. 😂

The scammers usually have 3 or more kids, they want private lessons, and the "parent" cannot speak on the phone or meet on video call due to being deaf, being in the hospital, etc etc. They offer to prepay for the lessons plus 300 to 500 extra, but then just before the transaction clears, they ask that when the children arrive at the stated first appointment (usually "driven to the venue by a hired driver") that they 

be given the cash that was included in the "extra" money that was charged to the card. So, that means you would have given the kids cash (for their "daily expenses") but the card is either bogus or stolen and the charge never goes through. You're out a bunch of cash and the kids never show up. 

Luckily, I was warned about this type of scam well before I started getting the scam emails. Sadly though, some martial arts school have fallen victim to this scam.

Watch out for these scams!

A quote, a brief redirect from the "martial arts titles" series

 

Defeat Yesterday's Understanding

I saw this quote some days ago, and decided to add this blog post in the middle of the "martial arts titles" series. 

Each week, i've been posting my thoughts on martial art titles....what they mean, their uses, etc. I've been posting primarily so my own new students can get an idea of the uses of certain titles that we use at our Kwoon, Seattle Wushu Center (Inner Concepts Method). This is through my own lineage.  

Sifu Kathy Long, our other instructor who has her own method called "Beyond Limits Martial Arts", (based on her many years of experience in Kung Fu San Soo, Kickboxing and a plethora of other training) has titles that she and her own students use in their method.

This week, I'd like to post this quote:

"The purpose of today's training 

is to defeat yesterday's understanding"

I've mentioned to students many times, that one of the goals in training is to try to improve and bet a little bit better than the previous class they attended. 

But "defeat yesterday's understanding"?  I presented this quote to one of my juniors kids classes, and one of the younger students asked "Does that mean we have to throw away what we learned last week?"

To many, it might have sounded like a silly question, but this kid was serious. He wanted to understand.

So, I explained that we shouldn't forget....on the contrary we must remember, so that we can compare our progress today, to last week, and the week before, and so on. I chose to compare the concept to something the kids all knew about.....video games!

I said: "It's like when you picked up a new video game. Sure, you've heard about the game from your friends, but you finally get it and your first game is feeling it out and trying to remember how the controls work in the game. You figure out the purpose of the game and slowly learn to play the game. Each time you play, you make mistakes, but then you remember your mistakes and try different approaches and strategies, and you get better at the game. Each time you make a mistake you learn from it and improve your gameplay. It's the same here at the Kwoon. If you don't remember the mistakes your won't have the means to improve, and you stay right where you are, not progressing. Does that make sense everyone?"

"Yes Sifu!!"

Then of course a bunch of hands raise up and the kids shared stories of their favorite games and how much better they got by just keeping at it even though they got frustrated. It took around 10 minutes of stories, but I found that it was important for the kids to share how they learned in their games and how frustrated they got but didn't quit. I found it was important that they learn from other kids what "attaining goals' was like in each other's perspectives. I was thrilled that the kids learned that Kung Fu is much more than just what strikes, kicks and forms they knew.....they were learning about the actual WORK.

During their discussion, one of the girls said (in an almost "authoritative" tone of voice):  "I like Mario Golf Super Rush", and you have to get your shots just right. It takes practice, but what you thought would work yesterday, probably doesn't work today so ya gotta work to get your timing right. You use part of what you learned yesterday to figure out how to play today."

"That's it, Jaime!" I remarked. "That's how we defeat yesterday's understanding. We make the understanding more complex, we don't throw it away, its a stepping stone."

If we just take what happened yesterday and merely move on without a 2nd thought, we lose some of the education we can glean from it. Yes, it is learning from mistakes, but while many understand the literal sense of it, it is the mind/body aspect and the practical application of it that fosters the real learning.

What's in a name? Part 3: "Sigung"

 

In this post we explore the title "Sigung"(Cantonese), which is used in many Kung Fu schools to refer to a "Teacher's teacher". In the familial hierarchy, the title Sigung would be like saying "grandfather". Traditionally, the term is for male teachers, however females use this title in some kung fu schools.

Keep in mind, that the title is based on a student's direct relationship with the teacher. If you are the student of a Sifu, you call them "Sifu", regardless of any other title that teacher might hold. If you are a black belt and have students, your students would refer to your teacher as "Sigung",....."grandparent". 

In my school's Kajukenbo lineage, the title "Sigung" is bestowed on black belts of 6 and 7th degree. However, it is considered a category of rank.

The Sifu with the title would never refer to themselves as "Sigung", nor should the teacher's students call them that. Sometimes, the public will address the teacher with the title to acknowledge the teacher's experience and position.

I've heard the general public (as with young student's parents) refer to me as "Sigung" (because that was the last known title they remember), or even sometimes "Professor", as it is my current rank category. I've told Parents that "Sifu" is fine when addressing me when their kids are around, to set a good example for the kids, or that they can just refer to me as "Lo-Si"...."teacher".

That being said, a more appropriate term that the public could use for a teacher (regardless of martial arts title) is "Lo-Si" (Laoshi in Mandarin), which means simply "Teacher".  It is a term primarily used for academic instructors or instructors of any subject, but is sometimes used by the public to address a teacher in a polite way. Students of a Sifu should not refer to their own teacher as "Lo-Si", as the term is considered "generic" and moves away from the family relationship within a martial arts school. But, that's for another blog post!

Proper etiquette dicates that a teacher never refers to themselves as any title in the general public, but only when speaking with students or their students. Signature lines in emails often have just a teacher's name, or "Lo-Si" in front of their name (or more traditionally, behind their name). This is to refer to themselves as simply "Teacher John Smith".

Titles are meant as a means for the students and public to address a teacher, or to recognize a teacher's experience. To introduce oneself as "Master John Smith" or "Grandmaster Smith" would make someone appear pretentious or pompous.

As always, ask your teacher about the use of titles if your art uses them. 

Finding Direction

 

It's not the speed of attaining goals that is the priority. Instead, it's figuring out how to attain goals and the quality of work that you put in. It's easy to go through the motions so that your audience sees and you maintain your reputation. Know your direction.....plus it is so much more fulfilling when that direction is for the greater good, not just for yourself.

Getting somewhere is easier when you know which direction to start walking.

What's in a name? Part 2: "Sihing"

 

This series is primarily for my students, but I hope the information presented is of interest to others. 

In this series, I'll be addressing the different titles that are observed at my Kwoon, Seattle Wushu Center, as they apply to our Kajukenbo, Wushu, Tai Chi, and Eskrima classes. Please note that the titles featured in this blog apply to our school, and the uses may differ in other schools.

-Restita DeJesus

What's in a name? Titles in Chinese Martial Arts Part 1: "Sifu"

 

In many traditional martial arts, titles can be sort of confusing to remember.  In the Western world, we tend to use the term "Professor" when addressing a college or graduate school instructor, or the term "Doctor" when addressing a medical specialist. However, many times, the use of titles in martial arts is misunderstood, and somehow the same etiquette tends to fly by the wayside in the Western culture. 

In Chinese martial arts and Chinese-based martial systems, the use of titles for teachers and coaches changes depending on the relationship between individual and the teacher within a school or system. It is the students and general public that refer to a teacher by a title. One typically never refers to themselves by a title.

Of course, in any martial arts nowadays, if a teacher prefers to be called by their given name outside of the school, then that's what the students follow. This post is not to berate martial artists for not recognizing their teacher's titles, but to recognize the traditional connotations behind the titles.

 In this series, I'll be sharing both the general outlook of martial arts titles, and how they apply to my classes at my school. I'll present one blog post per Title.

Sifu: 

A term that can be translated as "Teacher-Father" (or nowadays "teacher-parent"), and the standard term for a head instructor (usually upper level rank) of a school. The term doesn't literally mean "Master", although the title implies that the Sifu is the "master of the house", i.e. caretaker/main manager/main teacher of the school (Kwoon).

Generally, the title "Sifu" had been used for male teachers only, while the title "Simo" was used to refer to female teachers or the wife of a (male) Sifu. Nowadays, many schools choose the use the term "Sifu" for anyone that is head of a school (or has been bestowed the title by their own Sifu).

The students usually call their own teacher "Sifu". However, traditionally, the teachers typically do not call themselves "Sifu", nor do they refer to themselves as a "Master". The general public may refer to the teacher as "Sifu" or "Master" to show recognition of their position and knowledge, but a more appropriate term that the public may use is "Laoshi", which is the general term for a teacher or those with long experience and wisdom in a particular subject.

These days, teachers refer to themselves as Sifu when stating who is writing an email or calling on the phone (i.e. "Hi John, this is Sifu Restita, got a minute to discuss your upcoming exam?). But typically we wouldn't introduce ourselves to others with a title. We should never say "Hi, nice to meet you, i'm Sifu Restita DeJesus"). Nor would we sign emails or letters with a title. 

Titles are meant to be used by students of a teacher, when speaking to or speaking of their teacher.  For example, when introducing your teacher to another person, it is considered etiquette proper etiquette to say "James, this is my Kung Fu teacher, Sifu Restita DeJesus. Sifu, this is James."

At our school, the Sifu title is bestowed by the Chief Teacher to Black Belts who reach 3rd degree level and show an interest in teaching and sharing the arts. However the title is not necessarily automatically bestowed when a black belt reaches 3rd degree. In some schools, a title is adopted if a teacher/Master/Grandmaster refers to them with the title. For example, when I was presented with my teaching certificate in Wushu and Tai Chi at a large  celebration banquet , my Sifu presented me to the audience as "Sifu Restita DeJesus", informing the martial arts community in attendance that it is now my current position within her curriculum, because I was to teach her curriculum outside her school.

Traditionally, there is only one "Sifu" at a school, being the head of the school. However nowadays many contemporary schools recognize other Sifu that were promoted to the title by the "Chief" Sifu, as the term can apply to anyone with much more experience in their field than those who are addressing the teachers. The title Sifu is also used in some schools to refer to teachers that have their own class within the school. 

Keep in mind, that the title of the teacher changes, depending on who is referring to them. As already mentioned, students call their teacher "Sifu". However if a student is a black belt and has students of their own, their students call the teacher's teacher "Sigung" (implying "grandparent"). However that title is for another blog post. 

Other titles a Sifu might hold is "Sibak" (older uncle, although the term"Simo" is sometimes used for older auntie. My school tends to recognize the term " Sibak". For example, if one my junior classmates (that I studied under the same Sifu with) has students and they come visit my Kwoon, their students would technically call me 'Sibak' while the Junior classmate could call me  'Sihing" (elder brother) or more appropriately, 'Sijie' (elder sister).  

But I digress. Those titles are for other following blog posts. 😊

In our lineage, at my Kwoon, it is considered good manners for students to address the head teachers of Sifu ranks, by their title even outside of the school. Many Westerners tend to think they can call their teachers by their first name without the title, outside of the school. However, addressing the teacher by their earned title is like addressing a Doctor if you meet them at a grocery store. If you saw your doctor at the store, most people wouldn't say "Hey Mark, good to see ya!".....you'd most likely say "Wow Dr. Mark, (or Doctor Johnson), I didn't know you shopped at this store too...", etc etc. The same would apply in good manners in martial arts.  Same with kids addressing their teachers at their grade school, middle school or high school.....kids tend to address their teachers as "Ms. Johnson" instead of "Lily" if seeing them at the store. It's something naturally done by kids.  In our lineage, the same applies. This is a kung fu etiquette that symbolizes that there is no difference in respect between Kwoon and outside the Kwoon. For example, regardless of the surroundings, the teacher still has more experience than you.

Generally, the public would refer to the teacher as "Lo Si" (Cantonese) or "Laoshi" (Mandarin) as a term of recognition of an individual's position of a teacher. It is polite to uses the term plus the teacher's last name. 

However, regardless of the title, I suggest that students start by being polite, use a teacher's title, and allow the teacher to request that you call them by their given names outside of the Kwoon. Try not to ask "What you want me to call you outside the Kwoon?" because that puts the teacher in a very awkward position, because even while they're trying to teach you the politeness of titles, they don't want to seem egotistical by saying "call me Sifu". If they request that you call them by their first names outside of the Kwoon, then do so....and it is proper to not forget the position and experience they hold.  If they don't correct you, that's fine too, because perhaps the etiquette is something they in turn follow with their own teachers. Both are fine. 

Titles in the Chinese martial arts can be a confusing thing, especially since the use of them are based on family positions (parent, uncle, older/younger siblings, etc etc). When in doubt, ask the teacher "Can you explain the use of the title _______?" I'm sure teachers will appreciate you willingness to learn. 

Why do Kata (forms) practice? (Martial Arts post)

 

"Kata" (Japanese term, literally meaning "shape", or "model") in traditional martial arts, refers to choreographed sequences of movement, known as "forms". In Chinese it is known as "Taolu" ("routine"). Most traditional martial arts have their own forms as part of their curriculums. These forms have been passed down through the generations, keeping the original format. Some forms are modified by Masters. The practice of form may also include "free form" or "free flow" exercises, so that the practitioner can put what they've learned into a spontaneous sequence.

With the popularity of "realistic" fighting styles and MMA, traditional martial artists have seen an increase in the criticism of the practice of forms, primarily in social media. Many videos or posts on social media featuring traditional martial arts kata are met with judgemental comments, such as:

"Won't work in a street fight" (I wonder how many street fights the commenter had encountered?)

"Unrealistic, they need to learn a real martial art". (How many "real" fights have they been in?)

"Such BS. I would sweep and (insert planned out technique here) and  make them tap out" (perhaps they have a plan after watching the video 5 times to formulate their strategy?)

"My system is all about fighting, no stupid useless forms." (Well that just makes you an ass-kicker, now doesn't it?)

Real fighters don't use forms or free flow practice to learn how to practice good techiniques" (um....why do boxers do free flow shadowboxing?)

What some people do not understand is that forms indeed have benefits. While the practice of Kata originally taught the fighting techniques of a particular art, many people today just see fighting as being grappling, boxing and MMA.

Accountability

Being held accountable for our actions or inaction is often seen as either a blessing or a curse. Accountability can be:

- A source of pride

- A means to determine our efforts

- Or, unfortunately, a reason for dishonesty or deceit.

Sometimes we embrace accountability. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes we get angry that our accountability is questioned. 

Emotions aside, ask yourself:

"Am I secure enough to own up and be held accountable?" 

It can be a hard thing to do. It's too easy to blame someone else for your actions (or lack thereof), difficulties or issues. It's too easy to be untruthful in an attempt to "cover our asses". It's too easy to preserve our reputations through cover-ups. It's too easy to demand accountability from someone else, yet find ways to not be accountable for our own actions.

I often ask myself, "Why is this sometimes so difficult?"

There is a Japanese term, "Setsumei Sekinin":

• Setsumei (説明): This part means "explanation" or "clarification."
• Sekinin (責任): This part means "responsibility" or "duty."
• Combined Meaning: Together, "setsumei sekinin" implies a responsibility to provide a clear and thorough explanation, often in a public setting, for actions taken or decisions made.

Given the meaning, the "duty to explain" might sometimes make way for excuses, hidden truths or outright lies. However I've learned through the years to look within and know i'm secure enough to own up to my mistakes, and be courageous enough to "explain". 

I've observed through the years, that those who try to work hard for themselves and their situations, are the ones who take the bitter pill of accountability, while those whole take only partial accountability or refuse to be accountable at all, are those who already have what they want or need, even when it was gained through questionable means.

I've found, that the real time one should keep accountability on the priority list, is when you already have what you want and need.  Not only when you are lacking. Our actions and morals when we have everything set for us, is the indicator of our reputation. 

It can be a tough thing to do, given that many of us in the Western world are caught up in our own reputations and want to preserve it. 

But think of your INTERNAL reputation. You will always be dealing with "You".  It's not about how other people view you.

It's about how you view yourself. 

It's about being truly honest with yourself.

It's about asking yourself 'Did I really do everything I could for myself,

or did I just move on to a different activity to distract myself

to avoid the uncomfortable work?

Reputations are nothing without "Sekinin"....responsibility"...."duty".

April is Filipino Food month!

 

I urge my friends to try Filipino outside of the popular "Lumpia" (egg roll), "Pancit" (noodles), and "Adobo" (meat stewed in soy sauce, garlic, and vinegar).  There are so many dishes, with vegetarian and carnivore options, This month I will try to post about some popular dishes. Stay tuned!

Perspective Matters

Learning to differentiate between "intuition" and "personal issue influence"

 

Something that I've been working on for some months now, is learning to differentiate between "energy" and "personal influence". It is hard for me to explain my thought, but here goes.

We have all heard the phrase "Energy doesn't lie although words can be deceptive", or "Trust your intuition", and similar phrases. We might have even seen memes of similar concepts on social media. However, although some may wonder "it took you this long to figure it out?", the same people should realize that they wouldn't say that if they really understood. 😂

We're human.....and as much as some of us would like to think we are more 'evolved' than others,....we are all flawed. We make mistakes. We do things that are disagreeable and find ways to justify our actions or blame others. We look for the faults in others, etc etc.

Energy is indeed a powerful thing. Some people are really skilled at feeling out the energy in a room and adapting accordingly. Some are great at noticing vibes about someone that may be scattered, negative, stressed, joyful, celebrative, struggling, etc. Their intuition is strong.

However, I've been learning that there's a difference between "intuition" and "personal influence".

Our very own belief structures, prejudices, anxieties, insecurities, projected negativity, judgements, etc can indeed influence us, yet make us believe that it is our inner guidance, intuition, or as some might think, "Divine Guidance".  Personal influence is sometimes hard to differentiate from true intuition.

The learning curve is figuring out what is our intuition and what is our projected personal influence. 

I'm still learning and discovering.  And its going to be a ride on that rollercoaster on the learning curve.

Hearing vs. Understanding

 

Sometimes, we hear with our biases and expecations, picking out just enough words to from an opinion. These opinions might be based on our beliefs, insecurities, and even formed to justify our beliefs. 

Hearing, listening, and understanding are different things. When we learn to really listen to all the words, and ask for clarification if needed, will we learn to communicate effectively with others.

#confirmationbias

#communication

#understanding

#hearingvslistening

Not wanting to train?

(this was published in Sept 2020 during the COVID19 pandemic, and i've slightly modified it for repost.)

-----

 I've noticed a surge in online fitness tutorials on social media and more people taking Zoom classes with their coaches and trainers. I too have experienced increased enrollment in my in person and online classes.

However, I've also noticed there are those that have numerous excuses for not exercising. It's not that they are incapable, it's not that they are mobility challenged, it's not that they don't want to set a goal for exercising....it's just they won't do it.

I've heard many "I can't" type of reasons why students are unable to attend their martial arts class, and many of the reasons are legitimate. However there are some that make me wonder if there are other reasons why they cannot train. The same holds true to other types of exercise. Here are some that I've heard from colleagues who are personal trainers, coaches, and instructors:

"I'm too tired"

 Either the sluggishness convinces you to not head to the gym (and stay on the couch), or the tiredness pulls you away from finishing your workout.

Exercise is one of the best and safest ways to give your energy levels a recharge, but we've all felt that pull of the couch and forget that exercise is an energizer. When you're feeling like not going to training, just try saying to yourself "Well, i'll go and see where I'm at". Chances are, you'll be able to finish the session when your energy bumps ups. Or, if you're in the middle of a workout and want to give up even when you have the energy, try saying to yourself "Okay, just try one more squat", or reminding yourself why you started that day's training in the first place.

"I had a crappy stressful day"

Another excuse that actually says "I don't wanna" and "I choose to stay in this stressed out state of mind".

The stress reducing benefits of any type of exercise are many. Being stressed out or angry is a perfect reason why you get some training in. However, don't look at exercise as something you "have" to do. Choose an exercise modality that you like and enjoy, so that you don't look at the activity as dreaded homework. Walking the dog, a short walk after dinner, or even a short 10 minutes "challenge" of HIIT (high intensity interval training), all count as exercise.  You don't have to workout a whole hour or 2 hours for it to count. Just get that body moving!

"It's raining/too hot/too cold...."

.....and Dorothy's house landed on the Wicked Witch in my backyard.....yada yada yada.

If the weather is the main reason that convinces you to skip out, then you might need to ponder the reasons why you started working out/training in the first place. When people are motivated, they come up with creative ways to get their training in during inclement weather.  Now I'm not saying that you have to drive in the snow in Seattle to get to class (and we know Seattle tends to shut down when it snows 😂).  Train at home. Don't have weights? Find creative ways to get the resistance training in. One time I filled a backpack with water bottles and cardio-walked around my neighborhood. Invest in a inexpensive set of resistance bands, or a dumbell set and adjustable bench. Its amazing how much you can do with a minimum amount of equipment. Practice your kata/forms at home.

"I ate healthy food today, I can skip training today"

Regardless of how advanced we think we are, we are innately reward oriented. However, sometimes our minds trick us into thinking we deserve a reward for very little or no effort. Sometimes we reward ourselves BEFORE the effort ("I'll have this big slice of cheesecake now and get to the gym later to make up for it").

If losing weight is part of your goals, having a healthy diet is only half the battle. The trick is to not confuse "healthy food categories" with healthy eating. For example, having a salad is great, but if you pile on fatty dressing, greasy fried meats, tons of cheese, etc, you've added extra calories that leave you wondering why you're not losing weight. Consult a dietician for advice for your personal goals.

The other half of the battle is building lean muscle to jumpstart your metabolism. If your "healthy food" is overshadowed by unhealthy or empty calories and you skip training, you won't see results.

"I don't have enough space at my house to train my kata/forms"

My house is pretty small. I have enough room to setup my bench and resistance bands to do my weight training, but practicing my forms with the space I have would not be possible unless I modify.

* Upper body only forms practice:  Practice only your upper body movements from a predetermined stance, performing all the moves facing in one direction and simultaneously telling yourself the names of the stances you should be doing for that move. This forces your mind to look at your kata differently and to remember your kata using a different modality.

*Lower body only forms practice:  Same as above, only doing the the stances, adjusting your position when you run out of space, and telling yourself what the upper body is supposed to be doing.

* "Kata in a box": A training method that teach my students, for when they have little to no space at home to practice. It involves switching up your stances and footwork in place, or only moving one stance length in each direction of the form. It is tricky at first, but with practice, you can still practice your forms, and in a way, learn a "new" variation of the from.

"My personal trainer/coach/teacher can't meet with me"

Then learn to train on your own time, using the tips and hints that your trainer gave you at the last training you attended. If you want the gains, you have to work. Not much more I can elaborate on this.

Your work determines your results

 

If you're a martial artist, we've all been there. We've been through days where we just weren't "feeling it", not wanting to go to class, not feeling motivated to work hard that day, just feeling tired, needing some recharge time.  It's fine to take some self care time to oneself, in fact, I always recommend it to my students.  However, when its time to come back to training, it's time to work.

Many times, people tend to base their belt ranks on the years they've been at their Dojo, Kwoon, Dojang, etc. However, being a member for 10 years doesn't mean you have 10 active training years.

An average attendance rate for martial arts is between 2 to 4 classes per week (this is just average, although I know many who attend their classes 5 days a week).  Let's say an average class is 1 hour (yes, I know some hardcore schools will have 90 minute classes or up to 3 hours, but let's just say 1 hour). There are 8,760 hours in a year. That means someone would need to attend that many classes just to equal 1 year.  If someone attends class 2 times per week, that's only 104 hours.

Now I'm not writing this to make people feel bad about not training 5 days a week at their martial arts. We all have lives, we all have responsibilities, perhaps injuries we must take care of, kids to take care of, etc. No teacher or coach should make you feel guilty about not coming to their class 5 days a week.

I'm writing this because I want my own students to understand that it is not the number of classes you attend, it is the EFFORT they put in at each class. If you only put in half effort, it is not going to result in half the results and half the progress.  Half effort produces no real results, because you'd be training yourself to only put in minimal effort. Just do your best at each class, and do your best to practice when you're not in class.

Just as in building muscles, muscles need progressive overload and healthy diet and mindset in order to build and grow. The same applies to martial arts. Skills build with progressive challenges, practicing difficult movements as best as our bodies can while still keeping the standards of the art. Its hard work. And part of that hard work is your mindset. Only you can motivate yourself. Only you can make the decision to push yourself toward the standards of your martial art. Sometimes you might feel like you're starting over and need to push beyond the frustration, dealing with the two steps forward then 1 step back, the feelings of inadequacy, self doubt, and sometimes, even thinking that the teacher owes you promotions for showing up to class. The teacher doesn't 'owe' you anything, and the number of years you've been a member of a school doesn't mean you should automatically get a black belt, if you haven't been putting in the work. You earn what you work for. In doing that, you also "earn more work" (i.e. "earn new material to practice").

THAT is part of the Kung Fu Journey.