Pleased to meet you..., I'd shake your hand, but.....

..."If you have a clenched fist, it is difficult to receive. If you let it go and open the fist, you have a hand. Then it is easy to receive...." -John Rogers, Peter McWilliams, from their book "Life 101"

I normally do not blog about topics such as my own personal beliefs, because honestly, I don't think its anyone's business if I believe in Christian beliefs, Buddhist beliefs or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But, here we go on the subject. Lately,  some friends and I have been discussing the topic of "acceptance" and the meaning of "spirituality". Does "Spirituality" only mean that one has to believe in a "one Diety"??. Although our discussions started out talking about different religion's views and wondering about some people's lack of acceptance of other people's beliefs solely because they do not match their own beliefs, I had to sit back and wonder why skeptics of Deity-beliefs are just about as hard nosed about the non-existence of Deities, as the believers are insistent that they do exist.

Either way, folks, its not going to prove your belief wrong if you actually listen to what the other side has to say. Most people would assume that I'm talking to extremist religious folk when I say that, but I'm also talking to the hard nosed skeptics. Both sides want to prove the other side wrong,....admit it already, both sides!. Skeptics will try to bring out tons of "scientific proof" that "God doesn't exist", or provide unanswerable questions to believers, just to stump the believers and make them realize their religious beliefs are merely superstition and are good for nothing except for superstition and ritual.

On the other hand, Religious folk will slate "proven" miracles, asking the scientific side "explain *that* with your science junk! Of course the skeptics will always find a scientific explanation.

Geez, all that work to prove your point. What's the point? Really.....WHAT'S THE POINT? The point really isn't whether or not a God or Higher Power or Source exists.....If you boil it down, all this arguing of "science is King" or "Jesus is King" is really just based on your own ego wanting to keep what you believe in, as your rock of proof. Its your justification for your personality and ego, if you really think about it.

When either side is closed-minded (i.e.....clenched fist), it going to be impossible to see the other point of view. Actually, its not a matter of "seeing" the other point of view (because gosh forbid....others might think you're not a skeptic (or a religious believer) anymore!), but respecting it. Open your hand....at least that way you can meet people properly, by shaking hands. Shaking hands doesn't mean the other person will magically convert you into a believer or skeptic. Get over it, folks.


There are extremists on both sides.....there are those skeptics that will troll the world for information that proves religious believers are wrong, and those that will try to cite timeline parallels between recorded history and their spiritual books to proof to skeptics that their deities exist.  And, on both side, sometimes it can get violent when people get angry that their beliefs are being questioned. Come on skeptics....it is NOT an insult to your intelligence, and your social standing is NOT going to drop a few notches just because you respect a religious person's view without trying to condemn it as "superstition".  And on the other hand, Religious people.....its not an insult to your god(s), nor is your social standing going to drop a few notches just because you respect a skeptic's person's view without trying to condemn them as "going to hell" or something like that.




Oh.....and for those of you wondering where my own beliefs are......I prefer to say that I follow a spiritual path, but I do not practice any orthodox religion. I believe, that the word "spirit" itself, does not necessarily *only* refer to God(s). I believe that the journey of raising awareness toward one's own consciousness of being and our relationship to anyone and everything is a journey toward Source. So there, I said it. 

 "Hi, my name is Restita....and I'm spiritually / energetically inclined....pleased to meet you.

Its a Pleasure to shake your hand."

A lesson from the Tiny Tigers Kung Fu class....

Some time ago (I forget exactly when), in my Tiny Tigers class (ages 4 to 6), it was "300 Day". Their goal was to stay focused, alert, and participative in 100 punches (from a horse stance), 100 jumping jack, and 100 instep kicks. I told them "If you all participated and did *all* the techniques, you can say you did 300 things in 30 minutes!

 

Granted, there were a few interruptions, such as:

 "Sifu.....last time at the daycare, I got my toenail painted...." 

(amazing how kicks can bring up memories like that!). 

"Billy what are you looking at?

"Da bug on da floor...." (points at the floor near my feet)

But, they did all the techniques! Instead of doing 100 punches straightaway, we did set of 10 on each exercise....always pointing out how close we were getting to 300 techniques.

 

I had many comments from parents, like "Wow! They did that?" or  In 30 minutes?? Wow! Quite the achievement!" Yes, it IS quite the achievement for tots. But......us grownups can do great achievements like that too. As adults, shouldn't we be able to do such things? Let's take a lesson from our little ones....
 

• Perception: The kids had actually no clue what the concept of "100" or "300" meant. They knew it was a number, they knew it was a lot of numbers, but they didn't let the numbers interfere with what they knew they could do. They didn't think it was going to be difficult at all. For them, its was "just punching", "just kicking", and "just jumping". As adults, if we think "100 pushups",  we think of the repititions, the tired sore muscles, and the (gasp!) possibility of not meeting the goal. Don't let the numbers nag you, they're just numbers!

• Initiative: When the tots just stood there watching others, they were reminded that standing there watching others wasn't the same as participating. If they didn't do all ten of say....a set of 10 punches, they would have to choose to take the initiative to"make up" the punches after everyone else was done with their own punches, or sit out and not meet the goal (bragging rights!).   I see this sometimes, in group situations where students must work together for a project. Sometimes, a group might have a few individuals that will allow the rest of the group to do the work, or not submit ideas or feedback for fear of being ridiculed or just being shy....but they're not afraid to take credit for being on the group that made the project a success. Don't be afraid to jump in to those cooperative group projects.....after all, the very worst that could happen is that your idea is not used. That's okay! Try not to be the wallflower that has the rest of the group do your part of the work.

• Set the goal in your mind so that you can see it, hold it, smell it, taste it, etc.: I hyped up the "How many kids do YOU know that can do 300 exercises?"  I allowed them to talk about it for a few seconds, then stated "If you're successfull, I would "autograph" their belts with "Tigers 300 Superstar",  so they knew how special their achievement was. They were sooooo excited.

• Be realistic: One of the kids said "I can do a a bajillion of the jumping jacks all at once!!"  Remember, the kids had no concept of 100, 1,000, or even a bajillion. So of course, they knew they could do it. However, after class, I said, "How about a one-thousand day? That's like doing what we did today, 10 more times!!". Then, they said "Wow, that's a lot!"    As grownups, its great if we think we can do anything, but be realistic in your goals. Set your goals in steps....that way, you won't be disappointed when your ultimate goal isn't met after only a mere few weeks.

"The path to Black Belt doesn't start with punches.

Its starts each time you bow in for class".

Lessons from an injured back....

Last Wednesday, I threw my back out. I'm embarassed to admit it....but I did it....get this....doing TAI CHI.

Okay, okay, before you all throw up your hands and say "Well, there goes that idea out the window! I wanted to learn something that allows for self-reflection and relaxation and stuff, but she threw out her back!"

Yes...I know....its kind of like setting up a skiing lesson with someone, then learning later that he/she can't teach you your first lesson because they broke their leg on the slopes. Hahahaha!

But.....if anything has been learned from this, I'd like to share my findings with you, my friends and students.

• Don't go full board into an activity you haven't done in a few weeks: Take your time warming up into it, then building up again. I hadn't gone to my Master's Taiji class because of having to make appointments or teach here at my studio because my assistant was out of town. When I did get to class, we happened to do class "backwards". The fast forms first (Old Frame 2, broadsword), Push Hands, then Old Frame 1. I was so excited to get "back into the groove" that I did too much, at too fast a speed.
• Its amazing just how much of daily activities involve your back!: I went Downtown to the City Municipal Building the next day, not walking all that well from the pain in my back and hip, tried opening the big door and fell to the sidewalk as a sharp, stabbing pain overtook me. Lucky for me, a gentleman was just coming out as I opened the door....he picked me up, asking "Oh my God, are you okay, Ma'am?". He even pushed on the revolving door for me so I didn't have to push it myself. Thank you, dear gentleman! Driving the car was painful, sitting was painful. I couldn't even lift my leg to kick or punch. Breathing.....breathing hurt too, believe it or not.
• Don't be afraid of asking your support team for help....don't let pride or self reliance prevent your healing:  I've always liked to demonstrate martial arts techniques on my own, and to get right into the middle of the class and correct people as they practiced......and I wasn't able to do that. If I dropped something, I couldn't pick it up. I took a deep breath (as painful as it was!) and asked my students "Can you get that for me?", "John, please demonstrate the proper stance in move 12", "Andrew, please lead warmups", "Class, please team up with a high ranked partner and practice together, high ranks, please coach your juniors". Granted, this is really how a good martial arts studio should be ran, but as much as I ask the help of my assistants, I love to move and work myself! It was hard to be reliant on others during my injury.
• If people offer to assist you, accept the generosity graciously! What do you often hear when someone asks someone else "Need a hand with that?".   You might hear "No, thank you, I got it". I've found that people will usually ask you if they can help *because they WANT to*. Its an honor to have someone offer their time and assistance. Accept the assistance and pay it forward later.
• Listen to your body and your intuition: As I grow older, I realize that I don't bounce back after workouts or injuries as fast as I did when I was 20 years old. As this realization reminds me of my aching joints and muscles, I see I must listen to my body. The "No pain, no gain" adage needs to take a hike now. There are jumps and kicks my intuition tells me "NOT" to do, and I've ditched my intuition many times as of late, and have paid the price. This back injury was the Universe's way of telling me to SLOW DOWN.
• It takes a village..... Just as it "takes a village" to raise a child, it takes a village to grow up responsibly and healthily, and to grow older as well. Just as I mentioned a few paragraphs back, don't be afraid to enlist your "village". It doesn't mean you are weak...it means you are smart.

Well, my back is doing a little better now, 6 days later....but I know the pain and muscle guarding has referred into my neck. Whatever I've done in the past few months to contribute to throwing my back out and with neck pain/migraines, I'm going to have to figure out what it is and be consistent in my wellness options. I have a great team of students, friends, chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncturist, etc that I know are on my side, and it feels good to know that I have a support team. My hope, is that I too, become (or are already) a part of other people's support teams!

"What, ref, are ya blind??"

Easy enough of a concept, but I'm still finding this out: In order to really "see", you should be "looking". We see what we want, and tend to ignore what could be an obvious happening, all in the attempt to "see" what we personally prefer.

I meet people with "selective awareness" all the time. Sporting events, martial arts tournaments, martial arts classes, healing methods, etc. Name an activity, and of course you'll see people that are staunch supporters and fans of what they do or like.

Whatever the thing we support or activity we do, I'm a believer myself of the "whatever floats your boat" stream of thought, so long as "you don't try so hard to sink my boat, and to stop thinking your boat is bigger, faster, has more sails, has better engine, or whatever else."

It is our own thought process that makes something interesting, enjoyable, and full of positive results. It is also our thoughts that make something dull, lackluster, and full of negative results. We will tend to see things in the way we'd prefer them to be....we will tend to gain results from things we prefer to believe in. That's fine. We all do that......

...But, let's all get of our high horses, shall we? Yes, that includes me...and includes you too.

I've heard lots of things.....Karate is better than Kung Fu, MMA is better than Karate, this method of healing gets better results than that method, this religion is better than that religion.....all because we've developed something over the evolution of humans.......

"Personal opinion".

Ironic....that my opinion is that everything boils down to opinion....hahahaha!

"Personal opinion" can also make success. Or make failure....

Recently at a tournament, i heard several spectator shout "What are you, Blind?" as we officials were calling points for a sparring match. Parents are looking for points *their* child makes, ignoring obvious point the other child makes. What made it ridiculous, was that some parents were making the other kid's clean point to the midsection, a sloppy slap to their own kid's arm. Hello! All 3 of us judges saw the other kid make a clean punch to your child's midsection....and controlled too. Meanwhile their own kid was kicking *really* hard and made the other kid cry after a particularily hard roundhouse kick to the stomach. "What! That kid is faking! He's not hurt! That was a clean point! New judges! Get new judges! My kid deserves that point not a contact warning! Wimp judges"

Yep....that's what can go on at martial arts tournaments sometimes. But I can't really blame those blowhard parents. They want their child to win so badly, that all they see is their child's victory......meanwhile, they don't see how embarassed their child is of the shouting his parents are doing at the sidelines, nor do they see they are coming across as opinionated and obviously hoping the other child will lose the match. No sportsmanship there. The desire the support their child was a good thing....their opinion of what it took to win, was not a good thing.

You know who the good sports are in any sport? The people that truly understand what getting good at their sport is all about. The good sports are the ones that are thankful there are other people that play the sport in order for tournaments to happen. They're the ones that learn from mistakes instead of blaming the winning team for cheating in a fair and square match.

As I said earlier..."Whatever floats your boat, people." Enjoy the sailing and don't sink mine. Besides, regardless if you have a cool boat while I have a mere kayak, I could easily just put mine on a carrier on top of my car and away I go....., while you have to go through the trouble of putting your big boat on a big trailer with a pickup just to drag it anywhere.


Learn well, Train well,

Restita
http://seattlewushucenter.com

Exploring Martial Arts is like exploring relationships

Martial Arts training, can be a lot like finding relationships.....sort of like "dating". Having been single for a few years now, I've come back to realizing the true reasons why I train and teach. And humorously, I've realized that Martial Arts paths are indeed sort of like the paths experienced through dating or forming relationships (with anyone...doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic relationship)

Think about it,....when you're first attracted to someone and you're on the "pursue" phase, sometimes we take on a slightly different persona during that time. We take on that "good behavior" persona so that the the person we're interested in sees our good side and hopefully, is attracted to us as well. During that "dating persona" time, we generously compliment the object of our admiration, we see the great things about the other (and sort of ignore the less-than-great-things), we arrange our schedules to spend time with the other, we hang on to their every word, and listen for the phone to ring. Sound familiar??

And so...two of you get together, things are going great, communication is good, you enjoy each other's company and all is good. Then, what happens? Time goes on, and the honeymoon phase ends. Although the excitement of being with the other person is still there, it is definitely not like the first few months. Although you care deeply for the other, over time you've seen the other's true self, outside of the dating persona. If you choose to be with the other's true self, you find that the love and caring is indeed always there, but the feeling is not that sense of "urgent" desire to be with the other person.....it is not always that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see them, it is not that feeling of having to say and do all the right things. Instead, if all goes well, the feeling gains a sense of deeper meaning, a higher understanding of the other, a sense of trust, and a true sense of connection. You then begin to truly enjoy the time together, instead of merely being addicted to the activities.

On the other hand....if the relationship gets too one sided, or if your expectations of the other person turn out to be so over-estimated that you become disappointed that he or she is not the epitomy of perfection you so thought them to be, you'll soon be looking somewhere else to satisfy your desire for companionship. Or, you try to keep your expectations of them, trying hard to look for anything positive and ignoring anything that doesn't fit what you're looking for. Also, in some cases, you might meet someone that seems so wonderful, but they show an attractive personality just long enough to secure your willingness to stick around or for whatever ulterior motive they might have.....then they drop the ball and you're left high and dry.

Whether you stay strong in a relationship, you leave the relationship, or the other person leaves you, you learn a lot of things about yourself along the way. Some of these life lessons may not be easy pills to swallow, but hopefully, we learn to look at ourselves with an honest eye. We learn to not place the total blame on the other person, nor do we take all the credit for for a wonderful relationship. We learn that any relationship is based on the efforts of both people.

Martial artists will know exactly how the dating scene relates to our paths in martial arts. I see it all the time. New students are so gung ho about their training. They come to class as often as they can (sometimes every day, and even stopping in to practice during non-class times), and they're attracted to the benefits and challenges that the activity brings. They're making new friends, getting stronger and more skilled every day, and they love it so much that they sometimes say "I wish the school had this class every day". They do their best to show good technique, respect, and gain favorable nods from the instructors. As instructors, we say "This gal or guy is gonna be good!".

Then, with some folks, the initial excitedness wears off. The interest is still great, but they realize that they have other responsibilites outside of martial arts class, and their attendance drops to a more realistic level. Their participation in class then begins to show that they're not trying hard in practice to impress the teachers or senior students....they begin to practice for *themselves*, and that's when we as instructors see their "true colors". If the students sticks around, they do indeed gain a sense of deeper meaning, a higher understanding, a sense of trust, and a true sense of connection with the art of their affection. You begin to learn a lot more about yourself and how to relate to the art. You begin to truly enjoy and experience the time, not just satisfy your need for activity.

And...on the other hand, if your expectations of an art are overestimated (or in many cases, wrong altogether), uninformed, or stereotyped, you might be surprised when you begin to find the true nature of the art. I've had many people come into my school assuming that Tai Chi was merely a type of slow happy dance (really, I'm not kidding). Or, they stereotype Tai Chi as only an exercise for the elderly, infirm, or those undergoing physical therapy. Some do learn through a bit of research that Tai Chi is a great exercise for all ages, and a good activity for stress relief and meditation. But when I pull out the combat applications of Tai Chi out of my hat, some people are taken aback in disbelief.....even when I tell them from the very beginning that Tai Chi is first and foremost, a martial art. "What! You mean those movements can actually be used for combat? I'm outta here!". In these cases, I try to refer them to an activity that would best suit them.

I'm not even going to get into studios or teachers that put forth a big attractive personality, then don't deliver what they claim. These schools are very few, thank goodness. For the most part, martial arts schools are professional, staffed with skilled teachers, and honest with their students.

So......Whether you stay strong in a relationship with your art, you leave the art, or the art distances itself leaves you, you learn a lot of things about yourself along the way. Some of these life lessons may not be easy pills to swallow, but hopefully, we learn to look at ourselves with an honest eye. We learn to not place the total blame on the art, nor do we take all the credit for for a wonderful relationship with the art. We learn that any relationship is based on the efforts of both people.

As someone who has been been around the dating scene a little bit in the last few years, I am sort of amused by the parallels between dating/good relationships, and martial arts training / mastery. I'm in no big hurry to find the person of my dreams at a dating service or at the supermarket and have them sweep me away. Nor am I in the biggest hurry to become an Nth degree Grand-Poobah-head honcho master. But one thing is for sure in both cases.....I'm going to keep looking, striving to be at my best and true to my personality, goals, and dreams.....hopefully, it will result in favorable situations in both cases!

So, I ask you, dear reader.....have any of you been through any interesting martial arts "Dating Experiences" lately? Doesn't necessarily have to be in comparision to martial arts.......Let's get your 2 cents! Feel free to comment.

Train well...

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Rewards: Incentives or Distractions?

Just as I was getting ready to leave from from private school Wushu classes, a little girl came out of one of the classrooms, crying.

"Sheila..., what's wrong?"

Sheila struggled to catch her breath between sobs. "I got a missed point on my point sheet because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing....."

(At this school, kids get daily report cards. Kids earn points toward "marks".....)

"Aaw. Can I ask...will it be the end of the world if you miss a point? You can make up the point, you know..." I said.

"Yeah, but......"

"Are you disappointed because you expected all good marks today?" I asked.

"No. Not disappointed".

Puzzled, I asked "You're not gonna get a Minus from this are you? ("minus" mark means "fell well below expections")"

"No. No minus. I just won't make an the "met all expectations" mark"

"So, you're disappointed about missing the "excellent" mark?"

"No....." She sobbed more.

Now I'm really puzzled. Usually, even if you don't get the "met all expecations" mark, you can make up for it in another tracks of that class. Its common for kids to get a check mark or even a minus mark some days. So I was wondering why she was so upset. Then....she told me.....

..."Its just that my Mom told me that if I got all equals until Spring Break, then I'd get to go on a vacation to Disneyland with my friend that I havent seen in 3 months...."

"Aaaah. So, let me understand....you're working on good marks, just for a vacation to Disneyland? I see. You're upset because you know you might not make all 'equals' marks until Spring Break, huh?..."

"Yeah, and that means I won't go to disneyland with my best friend...". More sobs. Its was heartbreaking.

I spoke a lower, softer voice and intentionally breathed in even breaths, to try and get her to follow my rhythm. "Sheila...please listen. You can go back in class and earn that missed point back, or we can sit out here and talk about how you will not go to Disneyland because you weren't on task. I know you can be on task..."

"But what about Disneyland??? If I can't earn that point, I'm not goinggggg!"

More sobs. More erratic breathing.

"Sheila...are you trying hard for good marks for being proud of trying your best in school,...or are you only trying hard just so you go to Disneyland? Remember what I talked about in class last week?"

"Yeah.....we study and try hard to earn experience and knowledge, not just points. Points just tell us how we're doing with gaining knowledge".

"That's right. So what is important? Knowledge that will stick with you the rest of your life? Or only a few days in Disneyland?. Disneyland is cool, but I guarantee you'll have lots of opportunities to go to Disneyland. Or 6 flags. Or anywhere else!"

"I guess...Knowledge is more important."

"Yes sirree. Knowledge and pride in you accomplishents are your real rewards. Disneyland is extra icing on the fun cake, huh? Sheila smiled and wiped her eyes.

"Now get back in there and earn that missed point back! And I hope to hear about your Disneyland trip!". Sheila ran back to her classroom.

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Rewards: Incentives or Distractions?

As a teacher, I do use rewards as an incentive for the kids at my martial arts school. Maybe a fun little game for a class's excellent effort, or for little ones, stickers that say "I did my best today!" when they try their best. It doesn't matter that they might've made mistakes...if they try hard to correct themselves, have fun, and put in good effort, they've earned rewards. But I keep the rewards realistic, and I don't do games or stickers every day. I don't want kids to believe that they can get the reward by just showing up to class.

When teaching our own kids at home, let's do the same thing. Keep it realistic. Base the rewards on fun things, yes...but to promise something so big as a trip to Disneyland for an 8 year old child if they are "perfect" in school....that's setting up for a very upset child if he or she realizes they weren't "perfect".

At this age group, the concepts of self-esteem, confidence, and pride through accomplishement, are just starting to make sense to kids. To attach rewards that are associated with things that kids really desparately want to do, want to get, or think are cool, will only result in kids working at goals just to get the reward. Instant gratification. "I got my "A", so give me my vacation". "I got my "A", so buy me a car". When kids are taught from a young age to expect that the World is owed to them if they do one little thing correctly, they will learn to expect the World for *every* little thing done correctly. This will backfire....even though kids will do the correct things, and the right things, they might be apt to get very upset when things don't go their wayc or if they feel their efforts are not "correct". A downward spiral with self confidence, a questioning of self worth, and the questioning of the "fairness" of the World, could result. I'm not saying it *will*....what I'm saying is, depending how the child is taught, it might end up in the child seeing their surroundings as "not fair" when things don't go their way. Or, in extreme instances...resulting in a child obsessed with being "perfect" to avoid disappoinment in anything.

If these traits linger into adulthood, it is possible that it could affect their lives in different ways. It may affect how they work, it may affect how they interact with others, it may affect their own expectations of others.

Support our kid's efforts, and Reward wisely. Let's teach our kids the true meaning of effort and accomplishment...if they understand those, the rewards you give will be that much *more*....rewarding.

Train hard...train well.

Selfishness and Altruism: Two sides of the same coin?

Today in my afterschool martial arts program, all the kids were taking their snack break in the commons area, when I heard a sharp shout above the din of talking and laughter: "I'm in 8th grade! For gosh sakes! I'm not some baby ya know!"

I stopped the class. "Whoa, what's going on?" I asked, while the shouter, an 8th grade girl, stomped away to another part of the commons area and plunked down in a chair with her arms folded and a grumpy look on her face.

After speaking to several boys about what happened, I learned that one of them asked her why she was giving away her snack.

"Yeah, then she started to get all mad and we asked 'why are ya mad?', then she started screamin'"

I was surprised at her reaction to whatever upset her, because a bit earlier, she offered her snack to me, saying "I'm not into animal crackers...you can have them if you want...its called 'unselfishness'. I heard you say earlier that you were hungry even though you had lunch not long ago..."

"Well, thank you! Unselfishness, eh? Sometimes, we can use the word "Altruistic"..."

"I like to not be selfish. But what's that 'altruistic' mean?"

"Well, it kind of means that you're concerned about the interests and welfare of others, and may often offer your service, time, or asstance to help other attain whatever goal or desination they're going for or hoping for....all without expectation of reward or recognition. Kind of like that!!" I answered.

"So selfishness and altru..."

"Altruism..."

"Yeah, Altruism...so they're kinda like opposites?"

"Yeah, you could say that", I smiled. "Actually, I'm not into animal crackers either...maybe you may share with the others??"

"Sure! Its all about altruism, right!" She said, as she walked back to the group.

Fast forward 10 minutes later, after the shouting scene. I walked over to her and found out that she was upset that she wasn't highly commended or complimented or thanked by the kids on her selfless act of sharing.

"Remember what I said about selfishness and altruism being opposites?" I asked. "Sometimes though, we may tend to be so caught up in our own thoughts or our own needs and wants only, work so hard to makes these needs and wants happen that we forget to at what others need and want."

"...But I'm always helping people and sharing. No one really appreciates it!"

"Then, that's not being truly altruistic. If you are looking for recognition and awards for helping others, that's a kind of selfishness." I said.

She looked at me and nodded. "So...I'm being sefish by wanting people to recognize me as a good person?"

"No, not sefish....but maybe wanting to be important maybe. Think about it...do you do good things so people say 'oh! Helen is such a good person!', or, do you do good things just because it feels good or because its the right thing to do?"

"Aah...I guess a little of both" She said. "I like doing the right things, but I want people to know I'm doing it for them".

"Aaah", I said. "Then that isn't really selflessness or unselfishness if you do things just for the gain of recognition. Or, when you're older, if you the do right things only for fame or profit."

She nodded. "So what now?"

"Go over there and apologize to screaming at them. They didn't say anything to make you mad....you allowed yourself to interpret things differently and you got yourself mad. That's the right thing...go say 'sorry'".

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So ask yourselves...."Am I doing right and good, and doing service for my community out of good feeling, love for fellow people and compassion? Or am I doing this for fame, recognition, money, or other profit? Am I doing this for only my personal gain?"

No one would want to think of themselves as someone who is so egotistal. But, you'll probably be surprised, that one time or another, we've all given service for the ulterior motive of being recognized as "that great person" or for personal gain. I've been there....and will struggle for a long time with that question of "Am I really all that and a bag of chips, expecting fame and fortune from all this? Or am I doing good for the sake of doing good?"

There's nothing wrong, of course, if people recognize you as a great person, a great leader, or even a selfless altruistic person.... but don't let it go to your head and don't allow ulterior motives guide your decisions. If you do, you'll only end up make everyone happy *except* for yourself!

Train the mind, strengthen the spirit. Train well!

Another blast from my blog's past: "Vitality in Art"

(Moving old blog posts from my previous location to here on Blogspot....here is one from early 2009)

February 24 2009

Quote of the month:

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost".  -Martha Graham

Who a better person to quote such words, as dance legend Martha Graham? Her ideas and concepts in contemporary dance choreography were innovative for it's time, and set the stage for contemporary dance. Her concepts were fresh, incorporating a raw sense of emotion not often seen before that time. Even the musical scores composed for her suites were very different from the music of the time.....major and minor chords combined, intricate rythym, tapestries of sound that either hit you like a shock, or brought raw emotion to the surface. Dancers of the Martha Graham Dance Company, became masters of bringing a "life force" to dance, translated through action.

Being a martial artist, I feel that the "art" of the fighting systems not only resides in the correctness of movement or even the committment to movement.....the art, I believe, resides in the "vitality" (as Martha puts it) of intent, emotion, and expression. This expression can be evident in any martial art, no matter how rough or it may look.

Don't get me wrong....Martial "art" is simply not the sole idea of looking pretty while you do a Kata.  Nor is it how high you jump, how heavy a sword you wield, how many boards you break, how many tournaments you win. Granted, having a few elements of strength and poise are indeed contributing factors to physical prowess and competitive edge….but in the end if you don’t have “intent, emotion, expression….and the ability to manifest these elements without conscious thought”….it won’t be a true art....it would only be physical skill and in some cases, mere tricks.

 

In my Taiji classes, my students often hear me say “Feel for it…..”, or I’ll compare a motion to an already familiar experience. “Push the beach ball under water” I might say, and their eyes light up with “Oh! Okay!”. This is because I know that not all my words will make sense during a class, and if a student does indeed make the connection between a familiar experience and a newfangled martial arts movement, it will be easier for them to bring forth the sense of intent needed for a movement. When it all comes together and a student can translate intent through action and freely express themselves through movement, then that , is Martial Art.