Physical Conditioning & Emotional Conditioning

From: www.hardcore-stress-management.com

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." - Victor Frankl

I attended a recent 4 day seminar with Grandmaster Chen Zhenglei, hosted by my teacher, Sifu Yijiao Hong. During the 4 days of training, most of us who attend all 4 days had sore legs from the stance work. Some of us (myself included) even had soreness in the shoulders and torso. On the final day of the seminar, Master Chen asked "Are you sore? Legs sore?" The class chuckled, and we all took a quick mental note of how our bodies felt. Many of us groaned at our sore quadriceps, and joked that we should "finally admit it".....so we said, "Yes, Laoshi!". Byron, our leader for warmups, asked Master Chen, "Laoshi, what shall we do for the leg pain?" Grandmaster smiled, and said "PRACTICE MORE!"

A great lesson. I guess we were expecting a response akin to Qigong healing or stretching, but Grandmaster told us plain and simply: "Practice more". Upon telling my massage practitioner about this amusing exchange, my therapist said "Yes, it allows for the lactic acid to get flushed out, but its the cool down exercises after the workout that are important."  <sup>1  

As it turns out, Tai Chi can help increase muscle endurance because of its slow and controlled movements that activate the slow twitch muscles. 2  Do a Tai Chi workout, then not do it again for days or weeks in the same fashion, and you lose the benefits and get sore all over again. The long term practice is where we gain the benefits. After all, it is not the *techniques* themselves that cause the soreness, it is the body's reaction to the exercise. If we're not conditioned to a hard workout, of course out bodies will balk and be sore.


As I was on the massage table at my therapist's office, I realized that this lesson applies to not just our physical conditioning, but our emotional conditioning as well.  If we were to consider emotions such as anger, greed, frustration, worthlessness, etc, as "Pain", then we could, theoretically, apply Grandmaster's lesson to our emotional lives. 


We will use "anger" as an example. Anger is a secondary emotion, and  is for some, a knee-jerk reaction to some other "primary" emotion (disappointment, embarassment, feeling pressured, etc). Often, it may a reaction to the primary emotion of  "fear", or the anger might stem from an emotional need or desire that has not yet been fulfilled. If we acknowledge what the primary emotion is, and ask ourselves what we can control about the situation (if we're feeling out of control of it), and what our options are, we can think a bit more clearly about the situation and decide whether or not the anger is worth expending energy on. When we can think clearly, we can carry on .


Most people will one of three things when confronted by negative emotion: Run from the stimulus, tackle it head on (i.e. feel the anger and act upon it), or go around it to move forward. Some people would say that options 1 and 2 are negative responses, and the 3rd is the best choice. However there are some things to consider:</sup>

• ^{If you're going to run, don't run backward. Try not to delve into you past and make this current situation a repeat of a long gone past experience. Take time off to cool off, then get back to the situation and address it with a clear head.}
• ^{If you're going to tackle it, don't tackle it all at once. Get angry will not change the situation, and we all are too familiar with the blindness that anger brings. Remember, in order to move a boulder from your path, you have to chip away at it with the right tool.....a paper clip isn't going to do the job, you must have a pick-axe or similar tool. With a clear head, you can better choose the right tools.}
• ^{If you go around it, be sure you aren't just avoiding it. If you just go around it and leaving the "obstacle" there, it will still be there. Acknowledge the "obstacle", observe it as you go around and take mental notes as to how you can clear the path. After all, if you leave the obstacle, then you leave it for someone else.....how lazy does that sound?}

<sup>Remember, in the case of anger, it is not situations or words that make us angry, it is our reaction to them. For some,  emotions are based on past experiences. Some people tend to attach a situation that similar to a past experience, and react with an outburst exactly as they did during the past experience. Many times, these outbursts will be out of context with the current situation, but the pattern happens anyway.

So, how do deal with these  negative patterns and thought processes? PRACTICE MORE. Stay with the situation, let it play out while you acknowledge your primary emotion to the situation or try to figure out what similar past experience is making your negative reaction happen. It takes PRACTICE. 

Anger, despite it negative connotation, does have its good purpose....it is a mechanism for survival....the body's response is to fill the body with the energy to deal with a "fight or flight" situation. Its a mechanism that evolved so that we, as primitive humans in eons past, could use to defend ourselves or our tribes. But if we use it out of context, we sure would look silly wielding our clubs against a wild animal that isn't even there!


Practice more. Stick with it. As Grandmaster says, it will condition your body and make things easier. Increase your emotional endurance. Even the most healthy body with great physical endurance, will not be useful if our emotion endurance is weak.


And by the way....did I mention....we should practice more.


And before I forget.....don't forget to practice more.   :)</sup>












1. Forum thread on "active recovery: http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/diet-bodybuilding/what-can-flush-out-lactic-acid-muscles-owwwwwww-473883.html
2. Tai Chi or jogging for lower body conditioning: http://www.ideafit.com/fitness-library/tai-chi-or-jogging-lower-body-conditioning

The lesson of the Hummingbird

This wonderful article written by Eknath Easwaran in 1990, is a great lesson in how we may live. Food for thought......http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC26/Easwaran.htm

The fable of the two wolves...

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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I've thrown many a juicy steak to the Evil Wolf.....it approaches with snarling teeth, then snatches the food and runs. Why feed a snarling wolf in the first place? If you have to throw the steak to avoid getting your hand bitten off, what's the point?

On the other hand, if I feed the Good Wolf, I've noticed that the Good Wolf nuzzles my hand before gently taking food, then hangs out for a while, sitting at my feet. There is no fear when feeding a creature that trusts you.

Which Wolf do YOU feed?

Change....the only constant.....

"Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don't want to believe that. But if you're over age twenty-one, your life is what you're making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities." - John C. Maxwell 

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As the quote says, "some people don't want to believe that".

When I was in my 20's, "change" was something I hated. I was, in my mind, in control of everything in my life. When anything changed, be it a slight change to my work schedule even a change in plans for a vacation, I felt the need to "control" the situation again. Granted, I was able to make the necessary changes to my schedules or whatever it may have been, but I wasn't necessarily happy with it.

The biggest change I underwent, was quitting my job in order to run a martial arts school full time. I was scared....."Quit my job? Are you insane?". In my heart, I knew that committing 100% of my efforts to my new school would be the way to start the marketing and find new students to pay the rent. But, in my mind, I was fighting my refusal to quit my job. I tried to find all sorts of excuses to keep my safety and security of my job, while trying to run a full time school. In the end, I took the plunge, quit my job, and never looked back. The first year of not having that secure income from my job, was very scary. I made use of "101 ways to prepare Top Ramen", and I thought about getting another job. But I knew that if I didn't commit myself and make it work, that my dream of having a full time school would go up in smoke. I was blessed to have a supportive business partner that sometimes had to bring me out of my silent balking at such a big change in my life.

That was in 1991, and in the past 19 years I've learned through trial and error, that change is a much needed thing in order to grow. Change provides us with a different way of looking at things, a fresh method of applying our skills or knowledge, and sometimes, change can bring about challenges that make us buckle down and really think about our next course of action. Change allows us to transform from what we "were", to what we "can become". Change allows us to look at things from the outside-looking-in, instead from our self-absorbed egos. Resistance to change, however, can most times prevent us from realizing our true potential and making meaningful changes to our lives.

Lately, I've realized that change is not necessarily just an outward thing, nor is change a radically different situation or attitude than what I'm used to. I've realized, that over the years, I had changed my outward attitude just to cover up my "inward attitude" (interests and goals that have been put on the backburner). Once I realized that my interests and future goals are not going to completely "change" me into a different person (that, was my fear), nor my friends think I'm crazy for having the interests that I do (another fear!), I was able to "change" yet again, and let go of the fear. What a liberating and transforming experience! This "loosening of the binds", makes me more aware of life's purpose, and made me think a bit more about life's priorities. Life is about choices....we can either make the wrong choices, learn from them and move on, or not pay attention to our choices at all and blame the world for our shortcomings or take credit for the successes. No matter what, our choices and changes determine how we make life out to be.

Sound off!....Have you ever been in that state where "change" was something you resisted? Did you manage to get used to "change"? What was scary about "change"?  How did it make you feel? How have you changed?

Fable: "The wise healing sage"

There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who saw he was a sage and told him of a sick child nearby.  She beseeched him to help this child.  The sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a man was a rare sight.  One woman brought the sick child to him, and he said a prayer over her.
 "Do you really think your prayer will help her, when medicine has failed?" yelled a skeptical man from the crowd.
 "You know nothing of such things!  You are a stupid fool!" said the sage to the man.

The man became very angry with these words and his face grew hot and red.  He was about to say something, or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said:  "If one word has such power as to make you so angry and hot, may not another have the power to heal?" 

 And thus, the sage healed two people that day.

-Author unknown

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"Thank You", the phrase that pays.....

I was coming out of the grocery store last night, and as I hit a parking lot bump, my potato rolls jumped out of a bag and hit the pavement. A teen walking the other way stopped short, picked up the rolls and said "Here you go, Ma'am", tipped his baseball cap and started to walk away.

"Ma'am? Hat tip?" I thought. "Wow. From a teen, even!".

"Thank you so much!" I said with a grin. Just then, I thought, "Wow..."thank you" is a word that has been ingrained to be an automatic response. Did I say it out of reflex, or did I say it because I meant it?"

I did mean it. I was more thankful seeing a teen, all decked out in teen fashion, using "Sir" and "Ma'am", tipping his baseball cap like days of yore, than thankful about my potato rolls. Potato rolls are a dime a dozen.....seeing such formality and manners with teens, is a jewel! I thanked that kid, not for preserving my rolls, but for renewing my faith in youth manners that I thought was slowly being lost.

I think he knew my "thank you" was heartfelt and sincere....at least I hope so! However... some people have a hard time saying thank you. Have you met people like that?

Some of us have different reasons why we might have a hard time saying "Thank You", but consider this....

A student of mine quoted an an acquaintance of his as once harshly saying "The word 'sorry' is the most overused word in the friggin' English language, get over the sorry part and start doing!" Well, you know why its so overused? Because some people *expect* the word "sorry" to be payment for a perceived affront....those same people don't use or choose not to use the words "thank you" enough to acknowledge the other's willingness to acknowledge their mistake.

Get off the ego high horse...no one really *owes* you the word "sorry". It would be one thing if you loaned a friend your lawnmower, and the friend accidentally broke it by running over a hidden rock or tree root. Yes they might have broke it, and yes the right thing to do is for them to apologize and maybe offer to fix it or buy you a new one. But really, they don't *owe* you anything if it was an accident. Would you demand the same apology from yourself if YOU broke the mower under same accidental circumstances? Why is it that you'd let yourself slide yet demand the World from your friend?

If you see the world in extreme black or white, or if you demand the world always be fair to you, you're in for a shock...the world *owes you nothing*. Its been here before you...if anything YOU owe *it*. Say "Thank you" for the opportunity to live on this particular area of the Universe!

"Thank you" is the phrase that pays.....it acknowedges acceptance for both giver and receiver. Use it often!

The right tools.....

 "If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." -Abraham Maslow.

Today, a friend needed some tools and I was asked if I had a socket set with a spark plug socket. Usually, I carry a toolkit with me in my car at all times, but I left the toolkit at home months ago and never put it back in my trunk. I felt badly that I didn't have the toolkit with me, and it reminded me of a situation that happened years ago......

One day, during my Mighty-Mites class, we were practicing inward strike (or inward block, in other systems), and little Timmy asked "Sifu, why do we do inward strike like that?"

I paused for a second to realize that he wasn't asking "Why is it called inward strike?" but "why its done like that". If he had asked "why is it called?", that would be easy to answer! "Because it goes *inward* toward our centerline!"....but he asked *why* it was executed like that, and honestly, I didn't have an answer because he took me by surprise. Most kids always ask "why is it called this or that?". All the other kids chimed in, "Yeah, Sifu, why do we do it like that?"

Wow, simple question, and I had no answer. I could have explained all the academic points of proper weapon placement, mapping, and choice of techniques for a given self defense situation, but the kids were 5 years old.....would they even care about all that academic mumbo jumbo that probably wouldn't make sense till they were at least 8 years old?

At that time, it was getting around time for a short water break, so I said, "I'll answer that question after break...." and I let the kids take their break. As I was walking to my office to get my water bottle, I noticed that the locker that carried all our tools was ajar. As I shut the locker door, I thought "That's it! Tools!" I gathered up a hammer, a few small nails, a screw, a bolt, a nut, a flathead screwdriver, a Phillips head screwdriver, and a wrench, along with some pieces of board from a previous board breaking class.

After break, I called the class together and said "Remember a few minutes ago, when Timmy asked 'why do we do inward strike like that? Who remembers?" All hands raise, all voices ring "I remember! I do!"

"Well, who has ever watched their Mom or Dad use a screwdriver? Who knows what a screwdriver is?" All hands raise. I pulled out the screwdriver and said "This is a tool that is used to put screws (held up a screw) into things like wood or a wall." I showed them the flathead and the Phillips, and started the screw into one of the board pieces with the flathead (single slot screw). I let each of them try to turn the screw a few turns. Then Anne exclaimed "Hey, the other screwdriver won't fit! Its got a different shape!"

"That's right! Good eye, Anne! This flathead is the right tool for this job, since the screw only has one slot. The other screwdriver, is that the right tool?"  "NOOOOO!" said the class. "Same type of tools, they both are, but one doesn't work for this job."

Then, I started a nail into the board with the hammer. After I got it a little way into the wood, I pulled out the Phillips screwdriver and tried to "hammer" it with the tip and the handle. The kids laughed. "Is THIS screwdriver the right tool?"  "NOOOOO!"

Then, I took out a bolt and nut, pushed the bolt through several layers of paper and turned the nut on. "Now I gotta tighten this bolt!" I used the hammer, and the kids laughed. "Well that's not gonna work. How about this?" I used the screwdrivers. More laughter. "Well, dang, that's not gonna work either. Let's see, let's try this!" I grabbed the adustable wrench and fitted it onto the nut. "Wait! This thing can fit on the bolt!! Michael, can you turn this and see if it makes the nut go tighter?" Michael turned the wrench a few times. "Its working! its moving!"

"See? We have to have the right tools for the job!". I stood up and said "Michael, I want you to pretend that I'm an attacker, and I want you to show the your best side kick to my knee!.....don't hit me for real though!" Michael got up, assumed his tiger stance, and did his best side kick with a kiai. "Very nice! Now, I'm gonna change my position, and I want you to side kick me in the knee again!"  I fell to both knees, and bent over a little bit to hide my stomach. Michael got into his tiger stance, then said "But I can't side kick your knee, you're hiding 'em!" The class erupted in giggles.

"That's true! So your side kick to the knee is probably not the best tool to use, huh? But the job is, put down the bad guy, so what other tool can I use?"  The class shouted out "front kick!", "Palm strike!", and other weapons. "Those are all correct! But, we can't use all those tools for all the places you can hit. Tell me, what target is open right now?"

"Face!"

"True! Can you kick that high?"

"No! Too high!"

"What could we use, then?"

"Palm strike!" 

"Timmy, show me how you'd use palm strike to face". Timmy ran up, and did a great palm strike toward my nose. (very close! Whew!)  "Right, Tim! You got it!"

"See? We always need the right tools for the job. "How about punch? Can you punch me in nose NOW?" I turned my body to face away from Timmy. "No! Too slow to run around to your face!" Timmy said. So I said "How about inward strike? Where can you strike?" And without warning, he landed his inward strike to my ear. Whew, luckily, not enough power to bust an eardrum, but it woke me up for sure!

"I get it!" Timmy said. "Sometimes ya gotta use other strikes when ya can't do punch!"

"That's right, Tim. Did you feel that inward strike was the best tool that time?"

"Yeeeaaah. It was easy! Is that why inward strike is done like that?"

"For this can't-get-to-my-face-job, Timmy, yeah!"

Little Paul was looking at the pile of tools nearby, and piped up....."Sifu, but this thing....(held up a phillips screw)....you didn't use the other screwdriver! (he picks up the phillips head). Hey, this thing fits in BOTH this one AND the other one (single slot screw)! Hey look!!!"

"We'll......go over that another day, Paul...."

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As adults, we know that certain professions have certain tools that are needed for their jobs. Plumbers tend to have a slightly different toolset than carpenters, and carpenters have a different toolset than, let's say, car mechanics. But as Paul pointed out, sometimes a single tool can span different jobs. In martial arts, we learn how to use all our "tools" for multiple "jobs", in an myriad of ways. In life, the more "tools" you have, the greater the chances you can "fix" what needs to be fixed, or the greater the chances you have for figuring out how to construct something.

Do you have multiple "tools" in life? Or do you carry only one or two tools only because they're the only ones you know how to use? Why not learn how to use other tools? 

Our past experiences, our opinions, our outlooks, even our predictions, are types of these tools. In simple example, If all you know and expect from life is negativity, then guess what....you'll see everything, no matter great it is, as a letdown or a perceived insult.....your perceptions will have operated on only the tools that you know how to use.  On the other hand, if you're overly confident and positive and don't allow reality to come into your mode of thought, then problems that need working on, won't get worked on if you think that the problem will solve itself just with positive intent. There has to be a balance....a point where *all* our tools in our toolboxes will be useful for our specific jobs. We must purchase our tools wisely, and if need be, seek instruction from someone else familiar with a particular tool, on how to use them. 

Now, if I could only figure out what I bought my big impact wrench for.   :)

The Importance of Martial Arts Etiquette , addendum....

I forgot to add a few other points to the importance of etiquette in Martial Arts. These points address the confusing aspects of Wu De (martial ethics):

Students:

1) Try to uphold your ethics even if the seniors and teachers don't do it themselves.
---This can be confusing, because we're supposed to follow our senior's and teacher's leads, right? But teachers are human and make mistakes or might get involved with situations that challenge the ethics of your art or even the morality of the general public. Keep to your manners, and stick to your guns. Don't be the lemming that runs off the cliff just because the others do.

2) Dishonesty is not allowed.
--- Don't lie to your classmates or teachers to cover up something. Unless you're keeping a surprise party a secret, don't tell lies to cover up for someone else.

3) If your school's ethics fall by the wayside, ask yourself honestly: "Can I stick around turning a blind eye to the broken manners and still feel good about myself and my training?"
---If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, its okay to take a leave of absence or leave the school if need be. Its your training....take pride in it but don't tarnish it with bad manners or turning a blind eye to bad manners and ethics. If you're looking merely for the techniques then sure, stick around and deal with it, but you won't be studying a true "art" if you're all about the skill and looking cool and willfully ignoring the manners and ethics.

4) Remember, you are in charge of the work you put into the training. You reap what you sow.
---Your teachers have made a commitment to show you their art....you should make a commitment to doing the best you can while you're at the school. YOU do the work. You'll feel really great about it in the long run.

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Thoughout my own training, I met people who thought that "Training" meant just showing up for classes. They showed "committment" to showing up, so didn't that deserve a gold star or something? Well yes, it could mean that...*assuming the work they do is hard, dedicated, and earnest. "Sweat and hard work brings success....no one will give it to you on a silver platter", My Dad used to say.

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Teachers, its exactly the same as for the students:

1) Try to uphold your ethics even if the students don't do it themselves.
---Remember you're a guide that leads by example. Show them the importance of your school's etiquette and be sure they learn the true nature of it, instead of just having them blindly follow rules for fear of getting punished.

2) Dishonesty is not allowed.
--Do not destroy student's trust in you. (I mentioned that in my previous post). Don't manipulate the students. Remember that one lie begets another, and it will get to the point where you won't be able to keep the lies straight.

3) If your school's ethics fall by the wayside, ask yourself honestly: "Can I stick around turning a blind eye to the broken manners and still feel good about myself, my position, and my school?"
---If the students continually break protocol, you have the right to have them take a leave of absence or leave the school altogether. Its your school and your reputation......take pride in it but don't tarnish it with bad manners or turning a blind eye to bad manners and ethics. If you're looking merely for more students, more money and prestige, then sure, stick around and deal with it, but you won't be teaching a true "art" if you're all about prestige and willfully ignoring the manners and ethics.

4) Remember, you are in charge of the work you put into the training. You reap what you sow.
---Your students have made a commitment to work hard at the art....you should make a commitment to doing the best you can while you're at the school as well. Teach them well, but understand that skill alone doesn't put the label "Martial Artist" on them.

5) Leave your ego and sense of entitlement out of the picture.
--- Your position as a teacher carries many benefits as well as great burdens of responsibility. As much work as you do teaching your students, you do not own them. Don't force them to stay or threaten them if they choose to leave. They too, are individuals and good teachers will let them go if they choose, or dismiss them if they are not upholding a moral standard. Some will stay away, and some will return, and either way you should take it as a learning experience. You are an experienced guide, and good students will continue to follow you if you keep your end of the school's etiquette as well as they. To keep students via manipulation is purely ego-driven.

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I've had kids that were all "gung ho" one minute, and wanting to play on the ultimate frisbee team the next. I had a kid who wanted to play on the frisbee league, and I let him do it, saying "Wow, sounds like fun....I bet your Wushu will help that jumping for the frisbee, huh?". Then, some months later, he returned, excited about how his Wushu helped the games and he also learned new things that made his wushu much better when he returned. On the other hand, I have students who have left for other activities, school, or other life reasons. My wushu class is relatively small due to those who have chosen other paths, but "I don't own them", so no harm, no foul. If they choose to return, the door is always open.

There are two types of students when it comes to manners and etiquette....those who follow them, and those who do not.....

Which one are YOU??