Fable: "The wise healing sage"

There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who saw he was a sage and told him of a sick child nearby.  She beseeched him to help this child.  The sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a man was a rare sight.  One woman brought the sick child to him, and he said a prayer over her.
 "Do you really think your prayer will help her, when medicine has failed?" yelled a skeptical man from the crowd.
 "You know nothing of such things!  You are a stupid fool!" said the sage to the man.

The man became very angry with these words and his face grew hot and red.  He was about to say something, or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said:  "If one word has such power as to make you so angry and hot, may not another have the power to heal?" 

 And thus, the sage healed two people that day.

-Author unknown

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"Thank You", the phrase that pays.....

I was coming out of the grocery store last night, and as I hit a parking lot bump, my potato rolls jumped out of a bag and hit the pavement. A teen walking the other way stopped short, picked up the rolls and said "Here you go, Ma'am", tipped his baseball cap and started to walk away.

"Ma'am? Hat tip?" I thought. "Wow. From a teen, even!".

"Thank you so much!" I said with a grin. Just then, I thought, "Wow..."thank you" is a word that has been ingrained to be an automatic response. Did I say it out of reflex, or did I say it because I meant it?"

I did mean it. I was more thankful seeing a teen, all decked out in teen fashion, using "Sir" and "Ma'am", tipping his baseball cap like days of yore, than thankful about my potato rolls. Potato rolls are a dime a dozen.....seeing such formality and manners with teens, is a jewel! I thanked that kid, not for preserving my rolls, but for renewing my faith in youth manners that I thought was slowly being lost.

I think he knew my "thank you" was heartfelt and sincere....at least I hope so! However... some people have a hard time saying thank you. Have you met people like that?

Some of us have different reasons why we might have a hard time saying "Thank You", but consider this....

A student of mine quoted an an acquaintance of his as once harshly saying "The word 'sorry' is the most overused word in the friggin' English language, get over the sorry part and start doing!" Well, you know why its so overused? Because some people *expect* the word "sorry" to be payment for a perceived affront....those same people don't use or choose not to use the words "thank you" enough to acknowledge the other's willingness to acknowledge their mistake.

Get off the ego high horse...no one really *owes* you the word "sorry". It would be one thing if you loaned a friend your lawnmower, and the friend accidentally broke it by running over a hidden rock or tree root. Yes they might have broke it, and yes the right thing to do is for them to apologize and maybe offer to fix it or buy you a new one. But really, they don't *owe* you anything if it was an accident. Would you demand the same apology from yourself if YOU broke the mower under same accidental circumstances? Why is it that you'd let yourself slide yet demand the World from your friend?

If you see the world in extreme black or white, or if you demand the world always be fair to you, you're in for a shock...the world *owes you nothing*. Its been here before you...if anything YOU owe *it*. Say "Thank you" for the opportunity to live on this particular area of the Universe!

"Thank you" is the phrase that pays.....it acknowedges acceptance for both giver and receiver. Use it often!

The right tools.....

 "If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." -Abraham Maslow.

Today, a friend needed some tools and I was asked if I had a socket set with a spark plug socket. Usually, I carry a toolkit with me in my car at all times, but I left the toolkit at home months ago and never put it back in my trunk. I felt badly that I didn't have the toolkit with me, and it reminded me of a situation that happened years ago......

One day, during my Mighty-Mites class, we were practicing inward strike (or inward block, in other systems), and little Timmy asked "Sifu, why do we do inward strike like that?"

I paused for a second to realize that he wasn't asking "Why is it called inward strike?" but "why its done like that". If he had asked "why is it called?", that would be easy to answer! "Because it goes *inward* toward our centerline!"....but he asked *why* it was executed like that, and honestly, I didn't have an answer because he took me by surprise. Most kids always ask "why is it called this or that?". All the other kids chimed in, "Yeah, Sifu, why do we do it like that?"

Wow, simple question, and I had no answer. I could have explained all the academic points of proper weapon placement, mapping, and choice of techniques for a given self defense situation, but the kids were 5 years old.....would they even care about all that academic mumbo jumbo that probably wouldn't make sense till they were at least 8 years old?

At that time, it was getting around time for a short water break, so I said, "I'll answer that question after break...." and I let the kids take their break. As I was walking to my office to get my water bottle, I noticed that the locker that carried all our tools was ajar. As I shut the locker door, I thought "That's it! Tools!" I gathered up a hammer, a few small nails, a screw, a bolt, a nut, a flathead screwdriver, a Phillips head screwdriver, and a wrench, along with some pieces of board from a previous board breaking class.

After break, I called the class together and said "Remember a few minutes ago, when Timmy asked 'why do we do inward strike like that? Who remembers?" All hands raise, all voices ring "I remember! I do!"

"Well, who has ever watched their Mom or Dad use a screwdriver? Who knows what a screwdriver is?" All hands raise. I pulled out the screwdriver and said "This is a tool that is used to put screws (held up a screw) into things like wood or a wall." I showed them the flathead and the Phillips, and started the screw into one of the board pieces with the flathead (single slot screw). I let each of them try to turn the screw a few turns. Then Anne exclaimed "Hey, the other screwdriver won't fit! Its got a different shape!"

"That's right! Good eye, Anne! This flathead is the right tool for this job, since the screw only has one slot. The other screwdriver, is that the right tool?"  "NOOOOO!" said the class. "Same type of tools, they both are, but one doesn't work for this job."

Then, I started a nail into the board with the hammer. After I got it a little way into the wood, I pulled out the Phillips screwdriver and tried to "hammer" it with the tip and the handle. The kids laughed. "Is THIS screwdriver the right tool?"  "NOOOOO!"

Then, I took out a bolt and nut, pushed the bolt through several layers of paper and turned the nut on. "Now I gotta tighten this bolt!" I used the hammer, and the kids laughed. "Well that's not gonna work. How about this?" I used the screwdrivers. More laughter. "Well, dang, that's not gonna work either. Let's see, let's try this!" I grabbed the adustable wrench and fitted it onto the nut. "Wait! This thing can fit on the bolt!! Michael, can you turn this and see if it makes the nut go tighter?" Michael turned the wrench a few times. "Its working! its moving!"

"See? We have to have the right tools for the job!". I stood up and said "Michael, I want you to pretend that I'm an attacker, and I want you to show the your best side kick to my knee!.....don't hit me for real though!" Michael got up, assumed his tiger stance, and did his best side kick with a kiai. "Very nice! Now, I'm gonna change my position, and I want you to side kick me in the knee again!"  I fell to both knees, and bent over a little bit to hide my stomach. Michael got into his tiger stance, then said "But I can't side kick your knee, you're hiding 'em!" The class erupted in giggles.

"That's true! So your side kick to the knee is probably not the best tool to use, huh? But the job is, put down the bad guy, so what other tool can I use?"  The class shouted out "front kick!", "Palm strike!", and other weapons. "Those are all correct! But, we can't use all those tools for all the places you can hit. Tell me, what target is open right now?"

"Face!"

"True! Can you kick that high?"

"No! Too high!"

"What could we use, then?"

"Palm strike!" 

"Timmy, show me how you'd use palm strike to face". Timmy ran up, and did a great palm strike toward my nose. (very close! Whew!)  "Right, Tim! You got it!"

"See? We always need the right tools for the job. "How about punch? Can you punch me in nose NOW?" I turned my body to face away from Timmy. "No! Too slow to run around to your face!" Timmy said. So I said "How about inward strike? Where can you strike?" And without warning, he landed his inward strike to my ear. Whew, luckily, not enough power to bust an eardrum, but it woke me up for sure!

"I get it!" Timmy said. "Sometimes ya gotta use other strikes when ya can't do punch!"

"That's right, Tim. Did you feel that inward strike was the best tool that time?"

"Yeeeaaah. It was easy! Is that why inward strike is done like that?"

"For this can't-get-to-my-face-job, Timmy, yeah!"

Little Paul was looking at the pile of tools nearby, and piped up....."Sifu, but this thing....(held up a phillips screw)....you didn't use the other screwdriver! (he picks up the phillips head). Hey, this thing fits in BOTH this one AND the other one (single slot screw)! Hey look!!!"

"We'll......go over that another day, Paul...."

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As adults, we know that certain professions have certain tools that are needed for their jobs. Plumbers tend to have a slightly different toolset than carpenters, and carpenters have a different toolset than, let's say, car mechanics. But as Paul pointed out, sometimes a single tool can span different jobs. In martial arts, we learn how to use all our "tools" for multiple "jobs", in an myriad of ways. In life, the more "tools" you have, the greater the chances you can "fix" what needs to be fixed, or the greater the chances you have for figuring out how to construct something.

Do you have multiple "tools" in life? Or do you carry only one or two tools only because they're the only ones you know how to use? Why not learn how to use other tools? 

Our past experiences, our opinions, our outlooks, even our predictions, are types of these tools. In simple example, If all you know and expect from life is negativity, then guess what....you'll see everything, no matter great it is, as a letdown or a perceived insult.....your perceptions will have operated on only the tools that you know how to use.  On the other hand, if you're overly confident and positive and don't allow reality to come into your mode of thought, then problems that need working on, won't get worked on if you think that the problem will solve itself just with positive intent. There has to be a balance....a point where *all* our tools in our toolboxes will be useful for our specific jobs. We must purchase our tools wisely, and if need be, seek instruction from someone else familiar with a particular tool, on how to use them. 

Now, if I could only figure out what I bought my big impact wrench for.   :)

The Importance of Martial Arts Etiquette , addendum....

I forgot to add a few other points to the importance of etiquette in Martial Arts. These points address the confusing aspects of Wu De (martial ethics):

Students:

1) Try to uphold your ethics even if the seniors and teachers don't do it themselves.
---This can be confusing, because we're supposed to follow our senior's and teacher's leads, right? But teachers are human and make mistakes or might get involved with situations that challenge the ethics of your art or even the morality of the general public. Keep to your manners, and stick to your guns. Don't be the lemming that runs off the cliff just because the others do.

2) Dishonesty is not allowed.
--- Don't lie to your classmates or teachers to cover up something. Unless you're keeping a surprise party a secret, don't tell lies to cover up for someone else.

3) If your school's ethics fall by the wayside, ask yourself honestly: "Can I stick around turning a blind eye to the broken manners and still feel good about myself and my training?"
---If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, its okay to take a leave of absence or leave the school if need be. Its your training....take pride in it but don't tarnish it with bad manners or turning a blind eye to bad manners and ethics. If you're looking merely for the techniques then sure, stick around and deal with it, but you won't be studying a true "art" if you're all about the skill and looking cool and willfully ignoring the manners and ethics.

4) Remember, you are in charge of the work you put into the training. You reap what you sow.
---Your teachers have made a commitment to show you their art....you should make a commitment to doing the best you can while you're at the school. YOU do the work. You'll feel really great about it in the long run.

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Thoughout my own training, I met people who thought that "Training" meant just showing up for classes. They showed "committment" to showing up, so didn't that deserve a gold star or something? Well yes, it could mean that...*assuming the work they do is hard, dedicated, and earnest. "Sweat and hard work brings success....no one will give it to you on a silver platter", My Dad used to say.

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Teachers, its exactly the same as for the students:

1) Try to uphold your ethics even if the students don't do it themselves.
---Remember you're a guide that leads by example. Show them the importance of your school's etiquette and be sure they learn the true nature of it, instead of just having them blindly follow rules for fear of getting punished.

2) Dishonesty is not allowed.
--Do not destroy student's trust in you. (I mentioned that in my previous post). Don't manipulate the students. Remember that one lie begets another, and it will get to the point where you won't be able to keep the lies straight.

3) If your school's ethics fall by the wayside, ask yourself honestly: "Can I stick around turning a blind eye to the broken manners and still feel good about myself, my position, and my school?"
---If the students continually break protocol, you have the right to have them take a leave of absence or leave the school altogether. Its your school and your reputation......take pride in it but don't tarnish it with bad manners or turning a blind eye to bad manners and ethics. If you're looking merely for more students, more money and prestige, then sure, stick around and deal with it, but you won't be teaching a true "art" if you're all about prestige and willfully ignoring the manners and ethics.

4) Remember, you are in charge of the work you put into the training. You reap what you sow.
---Your students have made a commitment to work hard at the art....you should make a commitment to doing the best you can while you're at the school as well. Teach them well, but understand that skill alone doesn't put the label "Martial Artist" on them.

5) Leave your ego and sense of entitlement out of the picture.
--- Your position as a teacher carries many benefits as well as great burdens of responsibility. As much work as you do teaching your students, you do not own them. Don't force them to stay or threaten them if they choose to leave. They too, are individuals and good teachers will let them go if they choose, or dismiss them if they are not upholding a moral standard. Some will stay away, and some will return, and either way you should take it as a learning experience. You are an experienced guide, and good students will continue to follow you if you keep your end of the school's etiquette as well as they. To keep students via manipulation is purely ego-driven.

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I've had kids that were all "gung ho" one minute, and wanting to play on the ultimate frisbee team the next. I had a kid who wanted to play on the frisbee league, and I let him do it, saying "Wow, sounds like fun....I bet your Wushu will help that jumping for the frisbee, huh?". Then, some months later, he returned, excited about how his Wushu helped the games and he also learned new things that made his wushu much better when he returned. On the other hand, I have students who have left for other activities, school, or other life reasons. My wushu class is relatively small due to those who have chosen other paths, but "I don't own them", so no harm, no foul. If they choose to return, the door is always open.

There are two types of students when it comes to manners and etiquette....those who follow them, and those who do not.....

Which one are YOU??

The importance of Martial Arts Etiquette in everyday life.....

Wu De, Dojo Kun,....whatever you prefer to call it, "Martial Virtue" is a very important aspect to learning martial arts and important life skills. When I was a youngster on my first day of Karate training, I thought "Cool! I get to learn how to break boards, and beat bullies up, and look cool!". That first day, was my first taste of "Dojo Kun"....the rules, the ettiquette, and the morals of Karate (and other martial arts). The first thing I learned, was not to punch or kick.....but to *bow*. We learned to come into the Dojo with a humble heart and open mind. We learned that bowing to another was a greeting, a token of mutual respect, a way of saying "please" and "thank you".  We learned more Dojo Kun as the months passed, and soon it became a natural part of training. When I think about it....there were a lot of etiquette factors, but we remembered them. It wasn't that it was hundreds of rules to follow....instead, it all boiled down to polite courtesy.

Times have changed, and so have training methods. Many eclectic fighting styles are out there and the popularity of MMA (mixed martial arts) has skyrocketed. However, these days, some people might have the idea that the "old ways" of respect and etiquette are outdated. When I was learning Karate, we knew what happened if you spoke to others or was moving around aimlessly while Sensei lectured or demonstrated....you got pushups. it was rare that Sensei ever gave out pushups, because we all knew the rules. But when those those pushups were given, the offending student immediately did them without complaint, apologized for holding up the class, and it never happened again. 

These days, I meet people that see nothing wrong with talking with others while their teacher is speaking or demonstrating. I've even met people that are proud about how brave they were about back-talking their teacher. I've met people that see nothing wrong with people roughhousing, arguing, belittling others,  standing in disrespectful postures (arms crossed, hands on hips) or even sitting down and playing with stuff on the floor while their teachers are lecturing or demonstrating. I've even heard of students that tell the teacher what they should be learning, or threatening to quit if they don't get the belt they want or the special treatment they think they deserve.

Granted, each school is different. I know of schools where the teacher's first name is used, not their title. I've been to schools where bowing is not required. That's great...but the basic tenets of courtesy are followed. That's all that Wu De is....courtesy, acknowledgment, gratitude, and respect for students and teachers.

But what are these "basic tenets"? Well, as I said, each school is different, but the common factors are:

1. Respect your teachers
2. Respect your classmates
3. Do your best in classes, don't be lazy
4. Be the best you can be
5. Come to class ready.....uniform clean and body clean, have all necessary gear
6. Work together to keep the school clean and neat. Don't expect the the seniors and teachers to do it all for you.
7. We are all training together for a common purpose. Work together to make training a good learning experience
8. Do not get angry at other students for silly reasons. 
9. Use proper titles if your school requires it.
10. Don't be arrogant or over confident in your skills. We all have much to improve upon.
11. Set good examples for lower ranked students
12. Be patient in your training. Do not demand more knowledge from the teachers. If you're ready, the teachers will teach you.
13. Be humble, don't brag
14. Don't be afraid to speak to your teachers about questions or concerns you may have. To fear a negative response from your teacher, is unneeded fear. A good teacher will listen and work with you, so long as you don't do rule #12
15. Don't think of any concept or technique as "simple"....again, we all have much to improve upon.
16. Be honest in your training. Are you *really* pushing that stance down, or are you watching others do it and assuming you are as well? Your classmates are not doing your work for you....work hard on your OWN improvement and be honest with yourself. Leave your ego out of your training.
17. Don't take corrections from teachers so personally.
18. Be grateful for the opportunity to train in your art.

Some schools carry many more rules of etiquette, some less, but it boils down to courtesy and basic morals. As for the people that threaten to quit their Dojo if they don't get taught the kobudo kata they want so badly, or if they don't get to test for the next belt they think they so rightly deserve....think about it.....there IS a reason why you're not being taught it yet. You're not ready for it! Oh, you might *think* you're ready, but that's merely ego pushing itself into the limelight. Train hard and show your teacher how hard you are willing to work, don't sit around and wait for instruction.....work for it. Teachers are happy to teach, so long as you're willing to work and take corrections. You'll be surprised sometimes, how much the teachers will teach you when you show the willingness to learn.  As I've always said to my own students: "If I took my Master's corrections personally and got mad because I got corrected, that would be like saying I was better that my Master. How arrogant that would be! In that case, I would be teaching my Master! And I don't see that happening until the day I leave this Earth...."

So far, I've spoke of just the student's responsibilities in Wu De or Dojo Kun. However, it is a two-way street. Teachers should also take the above listed rules to heart as well, with certain additions, such as:

1. Be patient in your teaching. Do not demand perfection from your students....instead, demand that they try their best to be the best people they can be. Your definition of "perfect" is probably different than your students. Be the experienced guide, not the dictator, along the path..
2. Do not destroy the student's trust in you.
3. You are the example for your students.
4. Encourage the students, do not belittle them.
5. Make classes enjoyable yet disciplined......don't sacrifice Dojo Kun to have fun.
6. If your students are working hard to learn, work just as hard to teach! 
7. Be balanced and honest in your teaching. If your student is not quite ready for the next kata (or boxing combo, or whatever else), then don't teach it to them yet and give them good pointers on how to improve their current skillset. Don't teach anything merely because a student demands it of you, and be ready to stick to your guns.

There's so much more Wu De for both teacher and student....and as I mentioned, each school differs. Learn the protocol for your school or gym, and stick to it as best you can. For me, protocol and etiquette is much, much more than antiquated, old style customs.....they're what make a martial system an "art" as opposed to just a "beat people up" art. You may argue "Well  MMA (or insert fighting-only system here) doesn't have all that outdated etiquette junk!". Well, to these people, I ask.....when was the last time you tried talking back to your coach? When was the last time you didn't say thank you to your training or sparring partner? When was the last time you purposefully was lazy in your training session?  Did you get disciplined when you were being lazy? Well, then.....Not quite so outdated, is it?

Courtesy, Respect, Gratitude. That's all Wu De or Dojo Kun is. Whatever you call it, the etiquette forms a wonderful network between students and teachers, and with other arts as well. Remember, your art is only as strong as its practitioners.....if the practitioners are weak in manners, then the art becomes weak. If you brag a lot about your skill, then blame others when you're defeated, you're not a warrior, martial artist or even a fighter.....you're just bragging and blaming, that's it...period.  Manners of the Martial Arts are what really tests us.

"Are you merely just 'all fists', or are you 'all finesse'?"

Martial Etiquette is what gives us our finesse.

A few sites with Wu De or Dojo Kun examples:
http://www.pathsatlanta.org/index.php/2009/11/28/understanding-wu-de-as-martial-virtue/
http://www.lotusdragon.com/L2/ETIQUETTE.HTM
http://www.clubs.psu.edu/up/shotokan/dojokun.html
http://www.birminghamshotokan.com/page7.htm
My school's Wu De: http://seattlewushucenter.com/wudeh.aspx

Pleased to meet you..., I'd shake your hand, but.....

..."If you have a clenched fist, it is difficult to receive. If you let it go and open the fist, you have a hand. Then it is easy to receive...." -John Rogers, Peter McWilliams, from their book "Life 101"

I normally do not blog about topics such as my own personal beliefs, because honestly, I don't think its anyone's business if I believe in Christian beliefs, Buddhist beliefs or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But, here we go on the subject. Lately,  some friends and I have been discussing the topic of "acceptance" and the meaning of "spirituality". Does "Spirituality" only mean that one has to believe in a "one Diety"??. Although our discussions started out talking about different religion's views and wondering about some people's lack of acceptance of other people's beliefs solely because they do not match their own beliefs, I had to sit back and wonder why skeptics of Deity-beliefs are just about as hard nosed about the non-existence of Deities, as the believers are insistent that they do exist.

Either way, folks, its not going to prove your belief wrong if you actually listen to what the other side has to say. Most people would assume that I'm talking to extremist religious folk when I say that, but I'm also talking to the hard nosed skeptics. Both sides want to prove the other side wrong,....admit it already, both sides!. Skeptics will try to bring out tons of "scientific proof" that "God doesn't exist", or provide unanswerable questions to believers, just to stump the believers and make them realize their religious beliefs are merely superstition and are good for nothing except for superstition and ritual.

On the other hand, Religious folk will slate "proven" miracles, asking the scientific side "explain *that* with your science junk! Of course the skeptics will always find a scientific explanation.

Geez, all that work to prove your point. What's the point? Really.....WHAT'S THE POINT? The point really isn't whether or not a God or Higher Power or Source exists.....If you boil it down, all this arguing of "science is King" or "Jesus is King" is really just based on your own ego wanting to keep what you believe in, as your rock of proof. Its your justification for your personality and ego, if you really think about it.

When either side is closed-minded (i.e.....clenched fist), it going to be impossible to see the other point of view. Actually, its not a matter of "seeing" the other point of view (because gosh forbid....others might think you're not a skeptic (or a religious believer) anymore!), but respecting it. Open your hand....at least that way you can meet people properly, by shaking hands. Shaking hands doesn't mean the other person will magically convert you into a believer or skeptic. Get over it, folks.


There are extremists on both sides.....there are those skeptics that will troll the world for information that proves religious believers are wrong, and those that will try to cite timeline parallels between recorded history and their spiritual books to proof to skeptics that their deities exist.  And, on both side, sometimes it can get violent when people get angry that their beliefs are being questioned. Come on skeptics....it is NOT an insult to your intelligence, and your social standing is NOT going to drop a few notches just because you respect a religious person's view without trying to condemn it as "superstition".  And on the other hand, Religious people.....its not an insult to your god(s), nor is your social standing going to drop a few notches just because you respect a skeptic's person's view without trying to condemn them as "going to hell" or something like that.




Oh.....and for those of you wondering where my own beliefs are......I prefer to say that I follow a spiritual path, but I do not practice any orthodox religion. I believe, that the word "spirit" itself, does not necessarily *only* refer to God(s). I believe that the journey of raising awareness toward one's own consciousness of being and our relationship to anyone and everything is a journey toward Source. So there, I said it. 

 "Hi, my name is Restita....and I'm spiritually / energetically inclined....pleased to meet you.

Its a Pleasure to shake your hand."

A lesson from the Tiny Tigers Kung Fu class....

Some time ago (I forget exactly when), in my Tiny Tigers class (ages 4 to 6), it was "300 Day". Their goal was to stay focused, alert, and participative in 100 punches (from a horse stance), 100 jumping jack, and 100 instep kicks. I told them "If you all participated and did *all* the techniques, you can say you did 300 things in 30 minutes!

 

Granted, there were a few interruptions, such as:

 "Sifu.....last time at the daycare, I got my toenail painted...." 

(amazing how kicks can bring up memories like that!). 

"Billy what are you looking at?

"Da bug on da floor...." (points at the floor near my feet)

But, they did all the techniques! Instead of doing 100 punches straightaway, we did set of 10 on each exercise....always pointing out how close we were getting to 300 techniques.

 

I had many comments from parents, like "Wow! They did that?" or  In 30 minutes?? Wow! Quite the achievement!" Yes, it IS quite the achievement for tots. But......us grownups can do great achievements like that too. As adults, shouldn't we be able to do such things? Let's take a lesson from our little ones....
 

• Perception: The kids had actually no clue what the concept of "100" or "300" meant. They knew it was a number, they knew it was a lot of numbers, but they didn't let the numbers interfere with what they knew they could do. They didn't think it was going to be difficult at all. For them, its was "just punching", "just kicking", and "just jumping". As adults, if we think "100 pushups",  we think of the repititions, the tired sore muscles, and the (gasp!) possibility of not meeting the goal. Don't let the numbers nag you, they're just numbers!

• Initiative: When the tots just stood there watching others, they were reminded that standing there watching others wasn't the same as participating. If they didn't do all ten of say....a set of 10 punches, they would have to choose to take the initiative to"make up" the punches after everyone else was done with their own punches, or sit out and not meet the goal (bragging rights!).   I see this sometimes, in group situations where students must work together for a project. Sometimes, a group might have a few individuals that will allow the rest of the group to do the work, or not submit ideas or feedback for fear of being ridiculed or just being shy....but they're not afraid to take credit for being on the group that made the project a success. Don't be afraid to jump in to those cooperative group projects.....after all, the very worst that could happen is that your idea is not used. That's okay! Try not to be the wallflower that has the rest of the group do your part of the work.

• Set the goal in your mind so that you can see it, hold it, smell it, taste it, etc.: I hyped up the "How many kids do YOU know that can do 300 exercises?"  I allowed them to talk about it for a few seconds, then stated "If you're successfull, I would "autograph" their belts with "Tigers 300 Superstar",  so they knew how special their achievement was. They were sooooo excited.

• Be realistic: One of the kids said "I can do a a bajillion of the jumping jacks all at once!!"  Remember, the kids had no concept of 100, 1,000, or even a bajillion. So of course, they knew they could do it. However, after class, I said, "How about a one-thousand day? That's like doing what we did today, 10 more times!!". Then, they said "Wow, that's a lot!"    As grownups, its great if we think we can do anything, but be realistic in your goals. Set your goals in steps....that way, you won't be disappointed when your ultimate goal isn't met after only a mere few weeks.

"The path to Black Belt doesn't start with punches.

Its starts each time you bow in for class".

Lessons from an injured back....

Last Wednesday, I threw my back out. I'm embarassed to admit it....but I did it....get this....doing TAI CHI.

Okay, okay, before you all throw up your hands and say "Well, there goes that idea out the window! I wanted to learn something that allows for self-reflection and relaxation and stuff, but she threw out her back!"

Yes...I know....its kind of like setting up a skiing lesson with someone, then learning later that he/she can't teach you your first lesson because they broke their leg on the slopes. Hahahaha!

But.....if anything has been learned from this, I'd like to share my findings with you, my friends and students.

• Don't go full board into an activity you haven't done in a few weeks: Take your time warming up into it, then building up again. I hadn't gone to my Master's Taiji class because of having to make appointments or teach here at my studio because my assistant was out of town. When I did get to class, we happened to do class "backwards". The fast forms first (Old Frame 2, broadsword), Push Hands, then Old Frame 1. I was so excited to get "back into the groove" that I did too much, at too fast a speed.
• Its amazing just how much of daily activities involve your back!: I went Downtown to the City Municipal Building the next day, not walking all that well from the pain in my back and hip, tried opening the big door and fell to the sidewalk as a sharp, stabbing pain overtook me. Lucky for me, a gentleman was just coming out as I opened the door....he picked me up, asking "Oh my God, are you okay, Ma'am?". He even pushed on the revolving door for me so I didn't have to push it myself. Thank you, dear gentleman! Driving the car was painful, sitting was painful. I couldn't even lift my leg to kick or punch. Breathing.....breathing hurt too, believe it or not.
• Don't be afraid of asking your support team for help....don't let pride or self reliance prevent your healing:  I've always liked to demonstrate martial arts techniques on my own, and to get right into the middle of the class and correct people as they practiced......and I wasn't able to do that. If I dropped something, I couldn't pick it up. I took a deep breath (as painful as it was!) and asked my students "Can you get that for me?", "John, please demonstrate the proper stance in move 12", "Andrew, please lead warmups", "Class, please team up with a high ranked partner and practice together, high ranks, please coach your juniors". Granted, this is really how a good martial arts studio should be ran, but as much as I ask the help of my assistants, I love to move and work myself! It was hard to be reliant on others during my injury.
• If people offer to assist you, accept the generosity graciously! What do you often hear when someone asks someone else "Need a hand with that?".   You might hear "No, thank you, I got it". I've found that people will usually ask you if they can help *because they WANT to*. Its an honor to have someone offer their time and assistance. Accept the assistance and pay it forward later.
• Listen to your body and your intuition: As I grow older, I realize that I don't bounce back after workouts or injuries as fast as I did when I was 20 years old. As this realization reminds me of my aching joints and muscles, I see I must listen to my body. The "No pain, no gain" adage needs to take a hike now. There are jumps and kicks my intuition tells me "NOT" to do, and I've ditched my intuition many times as of late, and have paid the price. This back injury was the Universe's way of telling me to SLOW DOWN.
• It takes a village..... Just as it "takes a village" to raise a child, it takes a village to grow up responsibly and healthily, and to grow older as well. Just as I mentioned a few paragraphs back, don't be afraid to enlist your "village". It doesn't mean you are weak...it means you are smart.

Well, my back is doing a little better now, 6 days later....but I know the pain and muscle guarding has referred into my neck. Whatever I've done in the past few months to contribute to throwing my back out and with neck pain/migraines, I'm going to have to figure out what it is and be consistent in my wellness options. I have a great team of students, friends, chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncturist, etc that I know are on my side, and it feels good to know that I have a support team. My hope, is that I too, become (or are already) a part of other people's support teams!