Ethics, honor, respect: Important aspects not only in Martial arts, but in marketing your martial arts business....

Marketing....the part of my business I admittedly hate doing. I'm not the type of person that likes to toot my own horn, so many times it feels awkward to "sell" myself. Oh sure, I could hire a marketing and advertisement specialist, but my studio isn't a big name chain that can afford that.

So, you've got a single school and would like to market the school and recruit more students....how do we do that without breaking the bank? Marketing is not merely as simple as putting out glossy print ads, fancy commercials, or using a professional publicist services. Believe it or not, good marketing and building a good reputation is based on a honor, respect, ethics, and a bit of social skills as well. Here are a few simple tips (and a few rants):

1) Word of mouth is always the best spreader of good or bad news. Provide a good curriculum, maintain a friendly yet disciplined atmosphere, train your assistants well, be dedicated to teaching each student to the best of your abilty, and your students will spread the word. On the other hand, if your school is shabby and unfriendly, that news will spread as well.

2) Freebie marketing on social networks: Facebook and Twitter have been great ways that many businesses market their services. However, social networking ettiquette asks that you don't "ego-post" or "flood the network" with only your advertisements.....it would considered "spammy". Poeple on social networks like to see interesting news or material....stuff that makes sense and shows you're human and not money-driven. Of course, making money is part of business, but you don't want to appear greedy either!

Being a Twitter fan, I've seen too many people "Ego Tweet"...only posting their ads,and only RTing ("re-tweeting") people that seem to only benefit THEIR business, ignoring all others if they don't appear to be useful to their own marketing. If someone retweets you, say thank you. Don't be afraid to retweet people that don't even have anything to do with your business...remember word of mouth is important. I've mentioned and RT'd people that have nothing to do with martial arts, and have made wonderful and valuable local networks from seemingly "unrelated " people from across the country..... If you stick to only the people in your niche that are "useful", you've limited your market and it gives you an arrogant appearance on the social media circuit.

3) Remember that nothing a a "waste of your time". If requested to donate a martial arts demonstration for a charity event, children's event or community festival, go ahead and do it....its a good way to get your name out there. Just because you're not being paid for the demo doesn't mean it is a "waste" of your time. If you think so, you've just "wasted" the opportunity to have your school seen and heard by many people, who by the way, may have spread the event via word of mouth. Your loss!

If an event offers to pay your group for a performance, be sure to set a fair price. Remember you're not the only martial arts group in town. And even if you are, if you set too ridiculous a fee, event organizers aren't necessarily going to pay you out of desparation for performers. As your reputation as public performers grow, you'll be surprised at how the events will increase the amount they're willing to compensate you (assuming that it is kept within their budget).

4) If you're a new teacher renting space in another studio, do NOT attempt to steal the studio's students, especially if it is the same category of martial arts you and the other studio is teaching. Many studios will rent their floors during off-hours to new teachers, as the new teachers gain a base to open their own studios. Recruit from outside the Dojo, not from within. If its the established Dojo's students to choose to cross train with you, that's fine (so long as the established head instructor deems it as acceptable), but ettiquette should dictate that you deeply discount the established student's training fee to half or more than half your stated fee, as a token of goodwill and respect for the school who giving you this opportunity. Some new teachers will teach established students for free, so that it motivates them to recuit from outside the school.

5) Professionalism: Carry yourself as a teacher at all times, but do show you're human. You're not perfect so don't act like you are. You don't know everything regardless of your years in practice, so don't look down on students who arent "getting it" yet. Don't attempt to correct other teachers or tell them "better" ways to do things or bad mouth them..., that's just bad form that makes you look arrogant or desparate for upper level recognition.

6) Professionalism II: I've seen people sabotage their own reputation by seemingly "innocent" flirting with students or by speaking to others about their "hot student" or "beefcake new guy". If another teacher was talking to me.....I don't want to hear about how cute you think their student is, how they and a student are "getting along", and I definitely don't want to hear about the tryst they had! They will lose me as a colleague and networking hub if that ever happens.

7) Just because you have the skills, doesn't mean your reputation should instantly be comparable to the big names right away. You should't expect to charge $100 per hour for private lessons just because the well known Gracie JuJitsu teacher in the next town does. It is not merely about the marketing or advertising...its about the blood, sweat, and voluntary hours that the big names had put in to build their reputation. So be patient and do your thing to build your school's reputation. Many people will argue "Well, I should charge a lot of money for my classes so people gain a sense of value about my school". True, I say, but if you're arrogant and lacking in the teacher skills and social skills department and in it only for the money, then congratulations....You've just added the label "McDojo" to your oh-so-elite school!

Surpisingly, a few months ago, I've had parents ask me "When are you going to increase your monthly fees?". I said "What"? And the parents said "Well, you've had the same price for years and years....and given the quality of instruction and attention the teachers give the students, Its only fair that the school is compensated for that!". Wow, they're asking ME to increase the fees! Interesting what building rapport does for building a good reputation.

8) Ditch the "My way or the highway" method of running your business and allow the feedback and assistance of other people. The adage "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself" is very outdated! Yes, you can have "your way" to do things, but if you don't make use of others who are willing to help you, you've just sent a sign that states "I don't trust you", or "You're terrible at this, I'm the only one that can do this right!". That will surely bump a few people off your network.

The "My Way" thing is not an issue of whether someone else can do the job....really, its a issue of you feeling that you've relinquished control and an issue of you not being accepting of change. If you get the same results through a different method will it kill you that "you" didn't do the great job? No it won't. Will it kill you to give kudos to someone else? No it won't. So leave your Ego at the door.




9) Free events: Not every activity or event you have at martial arts studio should cost people money. Although you'd like more students, it makes no sense that they have to pay to see your school. I've seen a few places that won't even allow you to see a class till you sign the contract! Hold periodic free events such as open houses, free women's self defense, children's bully-proofing, etc. This "giving back to community" is a great way to give you and your students the wonderful feeling of giving! :)

Allow the public to attend free of charge, but be sure to not appear to make the "car sales approach" during these events...hard sell tactics, while they may may work for some schools, will make your "free" events just look like disguises for your hard sell tactics. Have brochures available and have "special discounts" available for those who attended your event, but don't bug the attendees. Surprise them by allowing them to enjoy the event without the sales hype....because chances are, somewhere in the back of their mind, they're expecting the sales pitch.


10) Newsletters: Ask if visitors to your school can be added to the newsletter list. When putting out your newsletters, don't forget to include other linterestin local or neighborhood news that is not related to martial arts.....even non-martial-artists will be more prone to read (and pass on) your newsletters.

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It is a fine line between highlighting your strong points and skills, and arrogantly bragging about yourself. Be proud of what you do but knock that chip off your shoulder!

More tips and rants and raves to come as they pop into my head. :)

If it ain't broke...

Years ago, I bought a brand new Geo Metro after I was involved in an accident that totalled my previous car. The "Little Red Wagon", as I called it, ran like a champ even though it had only 3 cylinders. For the first 2 years, I took all the necessary actions to keep it in tip top shape.....regular oil changes, frequent car washes, checked the belts, kept tire pressures correct, tune up, etc.

As the years went by, I became less and less concerned with the oil changes....I merely added oil as the oil level dropped, but never got an actual oil and filter change. It kept running, and that's all I was concerned about. It was the "if it ain't broke, why fix it?" mentality. In the following 4 years, I think I got an oil change only once each year and a tune up only twice, all the while running it long distances and hauling heavy loads. Needless to say, there came a point where the car started to show its signs of wear....it had a hard time starting, it wouldn't idle (I had to put it in neutral and keep my foot on the accelerator to keep it running), the alternator belt kept squealing, the front end alignment went sour....you get the picture. Then came the day where it just died. I towed the Little red Wagon to a mechanic, and he said "The engine is fried, and its going to cost you some money if you want drop an engine into it, probably more than the car is worth now.".

The "If it ain't broke" mentality finally caught up with the poor car. I knew then, that if I had just taken the time to do the "little things", it would still be running.

Sometimes, we are like that little car. We keep running although we're running low on sleep or food. We try to do too much on our own without asking for help because it might "look weak" or look as if "we don't know what we're doing". We put ourselves through guilt trips when we don't finish a task to our expectations. We become hard on ourselves if we don't make lofty enough goals. Have you been there? I sure have!

There comes a time, however, where all that stress, guilt, overwork, emotional and turmoil, (and sometimes even making more work for ourselves just to feel "productive") catches up with us. The results may range from getting sick to an emotional breakdown. At this point, its too late....there's no going back and saying "I should do this instead"....you're already sick or had undergone a breakdown...too late!

So, how can we keep our own "Little red wagons" running? It is all about keeping mentally and physically "in the game" without feeling that you have to be the coach and player at the same time, and stress reduction is a good way to combat our "engine failure"! Some ideas......

1) Take guilt-free beaks: Even the most important projects need breaks, even if it is something as simple as stepping away from the computer for 5 minutes to do some deep breathing or walking. Don't feel guilt about take a break. In fact, the quality of your work is dependent on a clear head.

2) Practice mindfulness: Take just a few minutes several times a day, to be mindful of yourself. How does it *feel* to breathe? What do you smell, see or even taste around you? What colors draw your eye to them in your surroundings? Meditation is a good mindfullness exercise...sit quietly and pay attention to how your breathe moves and feels within you...feel how you expand and conract. Our "interal" senses are just as important as our external senses.

3) Have fun: Sounds pretty easy, but many people don't choose to find time to have fun. You don't have to go out with friends or have a big party...as long as you do something enjoyable, it is "fun"! When I feel energetically blocked, grumpy, or stressed, I gear up and go for a ride on my motorcycle or do Tai Chi to my favorite Tai Chi music. They're activities that are done solo, but I enjoy them immensely and they do wonders for my state of mind.

4) When overwhelmed, ask for assistance: The old saying "If ya want somethin' done right, ya gotta do it yourself", it so outdated. Not only does it imply that you're the only on the Earth that can do things "right", but it implies that others are incapable. The real issue here is that you want things done "your way". That big office project's success or bake sale's profit doesn't care what your Ego thinks. Asking for assistance is not a sign of weakness. After all, "weakness" is a relative term based on your Ego's perception. Whatever action you might think is "weak" probably works well for the guy down the the street.

5) Speaking of Ego, tell it to take a hike: Our "self" has no inherent importance....we only *think* it does. It is this sense of self-importance that may cause us to make mountains out of molehills. On the other side of the coin, an underactive Ego (or more exactly, low self esteem) makes everything a failure, every word that comes out of our mouth as "wrong", and our efforts "good for nothing." Our Ego, for many of us, stands in the way of allowing us to see things as they really are and prevents us from clear thinking.

6) Eat well, exercise, and get a good night's sleep: Sounds like the usual advice...we've all heard it before...but maybe we've heard it so many times we just don't listen to it anymore. Eating well and getting exercise keeps our metabolisms humming, and getting a good night's sleep re-charges are "batteries". If you're a frequent insomniac, chances are that your mind is too preoccupied, and if your Ego is indeed in the mix, it will make mundane "molehill" thoughts into sleep depriving "mountain" subjects.

6) Take a course in activities that involve mindfulness: Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, martial arts, chess, etc. There are many sports and activities that bring mindfulness to the forefront. These activities involve being aware of "NOW"....not 3 hours from now, tomorrow or next week, but NOW. These respites from our mental chatter are a great buffer in keeping stress related ailments at bay.

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I bought a sports car after selling my poor Little Red Wagon. It doesn't take all that much effort at all to do its regular maintenance. Oh sure, I've had some big ticket expenses with the car, but had to shell out that money so I kept my transportation. Without the maintenance, it doesn't matter how cool the car looks if it doesn't run! If we can commit to fixing our cars, why can't we commit to fixing ourselves? I've had the car for over 10 years now, and she's still running like the day I bought it.

Speaking of which...I should get new windshield wipers tomorrow.

Armchair Warriors, revisited......and judging a book.....

A few blog posts ago, I posted an entry called "Armchair Warriors and Futon Fighters", which spoke of the pros and cons of learning martial arts solely through media instead of through an instructor. I just want to share an amusing conversation I had with an Armchair Warrior just 30 minutes ago. (statements in brackets and italics are the thoughts that ran through my mind).

A gentleman came in and asked me "What's the difference between Wushu and Tai Chi?" Not a hello, not a "good afternoon", not even an answer to my "How are you today?".

As I started to answer his question, he "gently" interrupted me and  said "...Cuz, I'm asking because there IS a difference between Wushu and Tai Chi, you know..."

"Um....forgive me for misunderstanding, but are you asking me about the difference is, or will you be telling me what the difference is?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm asking you what the difference is....'cuz I have a martial arts background and I know what the difference is, and I just want to know if I have it correct...."

"Oh, I see." I said. I proceeded to go through a brief synopsis of the differences between Wushu and Tai Chi, and I didn't get far into the dialogue when the man interjected "....have you heard of pakooah?"

"Yeah, Pakooahchan". 

"OH!" I exclaimed. "You mean Bagua Zhang....Yes, I've heard of Baguazhang".

"Yeah, its all about circles, you know....." he answered.  I'm thinking of getting into Tai Chi because with all my martial arts experience, I think its time to learn the true meaning of martial arts...." 

At this point, he proceeded to "teach" me the meaning of Tai Chi and his style of kung fu. I let him speak for a few minutes till he said.... "then the Dalai Lama brought kung fu to the Shaolin temple..."

I had to interrupt at this point. "You mean "Boddhidharma", right?"

"Yeah, of course....Dalai Lama..." 

"Okay, so you're interested in Tai Chi, right? We have two classes....Yang style and Chen style. I suggest that you try a free lesson in each to see which class you'd prefer."

"I'd like the style that teaches the whole combative applications. Because of of the meaning of Tai Chi, I'd like to get into the combative stuff" he said.

"The meaning???" My voice trailed off because I didn't know what he meant by the "meaning of Tai Chi".

"Yeah, in Chinese, Tai Chi means "Great energy", you know. I want to gain that kind of energy...." he answered.  (he did NOT use the word "Qi" as part of his translation, did he?)

  The conversation went back and forth for another 15 minutes. I was amused by his big confidence in his knowledge, however incomplete it was. Impressed, actually....I was impressed that he was really trying hard to let it be known that he was knowledgeable, I wanted to giggle, actually.


"Well.....I can explain Tai Chi till I'm blue in the face, but I don't want to take up your time, I suggest...-"   I was interrupted by him stating "No, you don't have to, I already know all about it".  (don't roll your eyes, Rusty, don't roll your eyes....)

"If you don't mind me by asking, if you know about all about it, why are you looking for Tai Chi?" I asked

..."Cuz I want to learn the forms. I know with my previous background that I'll be able to understand it quicker than the usual beginners and master it quicker...." he answered.

"So....you're looking to be a teacher?" I asked.

"Yeah, I figure in a couple of years I can help teach at a school or teach on my own" he said.
(Oh my Gaaawwd....)


"Taiji isn't something that can be mastered in a mere 2 years, nor is it something that one can deem themselves skillful in, within such a short time, regardless of previous experience..." I said.    "Um, Sir, how long, out of curiosity, have you studied?"


He stepped forward a tad bit, folded his arms and said in a proud manner "I don't wanna brag, but I've done martial arts for about as long as you are alive..."  (you're kidding ,right??)

  "Thank you for the compliment about my age," I said. It was all I was able to say without giggling.

"How about this..." I said. "As I said, I don't want to bore you with the whole history of Tai Chi, why don't you come in and try one of our classes tomorrow night?"

"Well, I'll be around I'm sure, but I'm not going to say I'll be here tomorrow 'cuz it depends on what I'm doing tomorrow.." he said in an indignant manner.   "Who teaches that class?" he asked as he looked through a Tai Chi brochure. "Will I be able to meet the Sifu?"

"Maybe.....So, out of curiosity....how long did you study?"

"Uh, I did Tae Kwon Do when I was a kid, then Hung Gar.."

"How long?"

"6 months Hung Gar"  (6 months??)

"With which Sifu? Here in Seattle?"

"Uh, no, I learned from a guy who did Hung Gar and came up with his own style" he said.

"And your Sabumnim?" I asked.  


"What's that?"  he asked.      (you did Tae Kwon Do and don't know the terminology?)


"And how long in Tae Kwon Do?" I asked 


"Same, around 6 months. But I've studied many years on my own, you know. I've studied every book by Bruce Lee". Not everybody knows his own art of Wing Chun that he developed."  (Are you serious??)


He continued: "I'll be able to learn from the Sifu, right? 'Cuz I want to learn Tai Chi right, you know. I'm sure you're learning great things too, huh? How long have you been studying with the Sifu?"

I pointed at the "About Restita DeJesus" section on his brochure. "Um....that's me...I teach the Tai Chi classes".

He looked at the brochure, then at me, then back at the brochure. "YOU'RE the Sifu?"   (let the stammering begin)

"You're the teacher?"  he asked.    "And you teach the Wushu classes too?"

"Interested in our free intro class tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Uh, It depends on what my Monday looks like tomorrow." he replied. "Um, I didn't know you were the Master, I uh....uh..."

"Okay then. Have a great day. I'll see you again soon".   (Cue to leave. Cue to leave.)

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So, I wonder if he'll show up tomorrow night. 

Suggestion to martial arts "academics" out there. Its great that you're learning theory and concept from books and videos, but do NOT, I repeat do NOT assume that you can brag to the "office assistant" about your whole 12 months of martial arts classes and academic study done on and off for the past 15 years. Spare yourself the embarrassment of trying to impress the office assistant.

This situation made my day.....very amusing! But all I can do right now is shake my head in pity.

Check out some of my older posts on WordPress

Its been a sloooow process of moving my blog over to Blogger, but if you'd like to see my older posts from years past, feel free to have a look... https://sifurestita.wordpress.com

Initially, my original blog was on Windows Live Spaces, and Spaces was offering an upgrade to WordPress so I went ahead and made the switch. My old posts will live there till I import them over to Blogger.

Situp and pushups and squats, oh my!

 Around 3 weeks ago, I decided to add to my training routine and take on the "one hundred pushups" challenge. This training program involves following a formulated workout regimen, designed to build your strength to be able to do 100 pushups at once. There are 5 sets that you do, based on the day, and every "week" (not a calendar week, as the workouts are designed for every other day) you take an exhaustion test to determine your next level of workout for the following week. I'm currently at week 3, and so far, doing okay.

On the off days, I've also added "200 squats". At first, I thought it would be relatively easy, since I do martial arts stances and workout every day. However, I was humbled by my initial exhaustion test....40 squats, and my legs started to give out. Goes to show that just because I do martial arts, it doesn't mean that my legs are primed for that type of extended use. I'm looking forward to working my way up to the 200 at a time.

Then, just yesterday, I added the "3000 situps in October", suggested by Twitter friend, @LCTKD. He mentioned he was doing it, and asked who wanted to join in. "Me!! I'm in!" I responded. We managed to get another Twitter mutual  friend involved, and also one of my students.

While doing the 100 pushups and 200 squats program is going well, I find that its so much more fun with the 3000 situps in October to have others with you. It is very fun to share our progress online with each other, supporting each other and knowing that we have other friends interested in a common goal. So, I ask the students of my school, Seattle Wushu Center.... "Who's in? Who wants to join us in 3000 situps in October? Its 100 per day, but not necessarily all at once. I'm starting slow, doing them in sets of 25, with a minute rest in between sets. I'd like to get back to being able to do 100 at a time, and I figure I'll be there before October is over. :)

And the pushups and squats....who wants to join me? The pushups and squats programs are here: http://hundredpushups.com/

Meanwhile, this 5 year old Romanian boy is my motivation. 20 "air pushups". Wow. This kid is crazy strong. We'll see him in the Olympics one day, I'm sure of it! http://thebsreport.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/worlds-strongest-boy-5-year-old-breaks-push-up-record/

Okay....who's in?  come on....join us for the fun of fitness!  I'm here in Sacramento right now visiting family, and it doesn't take a noticeable time away from the visiting at all. In fact, while my sister is doing her daily workout with her DVD's, I've been doing mine.  Let's do this!

Armchair Warriors and Futon Fighters.

A friend of mine suggested a subject for one of my blog posts..... "is YouTube killing regular martial arts classes at bona fide schools?"  I liked the idea, but I want to expand on the idea a bit.

I would say....YouTube doesn't kill martial arts class schools. I am not saying that videos can replace a good instructor and classmates. If done correctly, a school's YouTube videos can recruit more students. Videos can be a good reference for students who are already familiar with a particular art. A good video can be a "video notebook"  if a student learned a form and forgot how to do a transition or forgot the exact angle of a form technique.

The issue here is not "is YouTube decreasing martial arts class attendance". The real issue is "Are video viewers thinking they can learn martial arts from a video, without a real instructor?"

I've met some people that claim to know martial arts, having learned from videos and books. Upon seeing such people display their skill, it is glaringly obvious that they learned from media instead of a good teacher. I've even heard of "practice groups" where members (with no actual experience under an instructor) will get together, watch videos or study books, then gather together to practice, spar, or even bout with swords!

Now, its one thing if you live out in the boondocks somewhere and cannot access a school. I would venture to say that if online videos are all you have, then videos would be a good initial exposure. It is when individuals think their skill is growing just because they've memorized a bunch of techniques or forms from video, that it becomes a "iffy" thing.

I see this a lot at an online discussion forum that I frequent or am a moderater for. "I want to do martial arts, but there are no schools near me. Can anyone help?" Usually, as a service, I'll research the location of schools near the forum member's location....and most times, I'll find schools within 25 miles. When I list these schools on a follow up post, and give hints on what to expect or what gear to purchase if they attend the school,  I hear all sorts of stuff. Here's just a sampling of stuff I've heard, and my responses to them.

- - "I want to do Kendo, not Karate or Tae Kwon Do. The nearest Kendo Dojo is too far from me"
          * It wouldn't hurt to get some training in *any* martial art, be it Karate or Tae Kwon Do. It will allow you to learn about body movement and coordinated technique. Ask the Tae Kwon Do teacher if they offer Kumdo, the Korean equivalent to Japanese Kendo. When you do find a Kendo Dojo, see if you can attend once a week to start. Or ask if they offer private lessons. You won't make progress as quickly, but at least you'd learn something.

-- MMA is the BEST! I want that, not wimpy Chinese stuff" (really, someone posted that)
         *See this post: (link to the post that has the smae comment in the above paragraph... "it wouldn't hurt to get some training in *any* martial art...." And by the way....a round kick in MMA is the same as Kung Fu's. Chinese arts have "Shuai Jiao"....grappling and throwing...and its just as hard pounding as MMA. Please refrain from calling an art "wimpy" until you research it.

-- "What do you mean I gotta spend $300 to $500 on a beginner's set of Kendo equipment? Can't the Dojo just let me borrow theirs?"
         * Wow, really? You really want to do Kendo but not willing to invest in the art? You shouldn't depend on the dojo to give you bogu to "borrow". Bogu should be fit specifically to YOU. Besides, the thought of wearing a Men that a bunch of other people sweated in, doesn't sound like fun.

-- "$65 bucks a month....too expensive. Any dojos that have classes for under $30 per month?"
       *$50 to $150 per month at an established school, is the average tuition fee, depending on how many classes you attend per week. If cost is really an issue, try your local YMCA or see if an established school has sliding scale fees. Offer to work at the Dojo as part of your tuition payment, they might take you up on it if it suits both you and the school"

-- "I want the best art that can kill people quickly, like in the , I don't want some traditional art that won't do anything"
       *You're not going to learn how to kill people from videos. And do you really believe everything you see on cracked.com?

-- "I'm good at following videos, why would I need to pay money to someone to learn what I can easily follow on the video?"
      *A good teacher has gone through rigorous and serious training to be able to become a teacher. They have the experience. Tuition itself doesn't pay the teacher, because really, there's no price you can pay for the teacher's experience. The tuition pays for the facility you're in, and the school's bills. Your tuition helps you be able to be in a place where trained teachers can instruct you. You wouldn't expect to learn open heart surgery online and for free, would you? You NEED a skilled eye (instead of one's own overconfident eyes) to correct your mistakes and be a physical example for you."

-- "I'm learning from a friend of mine who studies . He's done it for 2 years so I trust him"
    * Two years is not enough experience for someone to teach. He's still learning himself, so how can he teach you? If anything, what will happen is that you'll end up just being as good as he can teach. And if he can't teach well, then you're not doing anything except for imitating him.

You'll notice that comments such as those listed above, are comments that really mean:

"I want free martial arts training and I don't want to travel"

"I don't want to invest in the gear and accessories...I just want to learn the cool stuff."

"I want to be able to fight and possibly kill people, but I don't want to work for it"

If you really want to learn martial arts, find a way or a means to do so....and be ready for some hard work and even eating some humble pie. Videos and books are great tools for your training, but not a replacement. Once you've practiced a long time at one martial art, you'll find that your understanding of another martial art is easier to grasp, but even then, videos and books should be used as reference, not replacement for good instruction. you might even find that when you get into another art, you'll be working just as hard as your other art.

So in a nutshell, it is not the video sites out there that are preventing people from attending real martial arts classes. It is the attitudes of the viewers. They *think* they can learn from videos. And 9 times out of 10, one's perception of their own skill is greater than their actual skill. If you want You can't get good at any martial art without hard work and possibly taking a few lumps.

If you want to study martial arts and become good at it, don't settle for being an "armchair warrior" or a "futon fighter".

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See this Yahoo! question and answer session for more comments about this very subject:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100303080033AA2nvzG

Can't vs. Won't

Teaching very young children martial arts can sometimes be a challenge....not only must instructors make each activity in class an age-appropriate activity, but we must also be open to a child's attention span, mood changes and learn how to deal with mood swings in a firm yet caring manner. However, the benefit of teaching children, is the many lessons you will learn for yourself while you teach them. :)

One day in my "Tiny Tigers" class (3 to 4 year old kids), we were doing a drill called "pop-up". When a child's name is called, they are to "pop-up" from a seated position and do 2 reps of whatever movement they were taught earlier in the class. After a few rounds, one of the children "Jack", did not pop up when his name was called.

"Jack, aren't you going to pop up and show us your great front kick?"

Jack flopped backwards onto his back as a couple of other kids giggled. "I can't...." he said as his voice trailed off.

"I think you can..." I replied. "You do so well on your front kick. Wouldn't you like to show how strong your front kick is?"

"I can't do it...." Jack said. His voice was a touch shy of being a whine, but he didn't whine.

"Why not, Jack?" I asked.

".....'Cuz I can't...". Jack's father urged "C'mon buddy, you can do it".

"But I can't". Jack said. Odd. Jack was always so good at his front kicks. He started to squirm around on his back, just as little children do as they awaken from a short nap. "I can't do it.".

So as to keep the class going, I asked "Okay, that's fine. But do you remember what you have to do when you are not participating?"

"Uh huh....I sit next to mommy or daddy quiet and not talk...."

"What else?" I asked.

"I gotta ask to join the class when I'm ready..."

"That's right, now go sit down quietly".

After another few minutes of the pop up game, I gave all the kids a short break to get some water. As the kids clamored to their bags to get their water, I saw Jack on the corner of the floor, doing side kicks. I grinned....I thought that maybe Jack just needed a break and now he's back on task.

"Jack! That's a really cool side kick! Can you show me your front kick as cool as your side kick?"

He flopped to the ground. "I can't" he said. I tried to help him up, but he flopped more, make himself heavier.

I reminded him, "Jack, if you cannot participate today, you'll have to go home with Daddy and not do Martial Arts today...."

"But I wanna stay..." He protested.

"Well, sit here a few minutes and we'll see if you can stay on task in a bit", I answered.

After break was over, I got out the "big kids" kicking shield for side kick practice. "Okay! Time for side kicks!, everybody ready for side kicks?"

"Yes Sifu!!" the class shouted. Including Jack. He shouted "Yes Sifu" too.  I cocked my head and gave him a grin.

"Jack, what do you say?"

"Uh....Sifu, I'm ready now.  Can I come in?"

Jack's father grinned "Go on, and listen to Sifu"

Jack did great for his side kicks....they were pretty strong too! He also did great with his inward blocks and evasive techniques for the rest of class.

As I reflected on the class afterward, I realized that Jack had probably reached an important milestone....the ability to recognize that he can make choices for himself. It wasn't that Jack *couldn't* do front kicks... it was just that he *chose* not to do them. I don't know if he just didn't feel strong at them that day, or if he just didn't find them interesting , but he made the choice not to do them. The only thing was, he didn't quite know the difference between the words "Can't" and "Won't". He didn't quite understand that the word "can't" didn't indicate a physical inability (he's done front kicks before), he said "can't" because he simply didn't *want* to do front kicks. Although he made choices that day based on "acceptance" and "refusal", he simply didn't have the concept of what "won't" meant, or what "refusal" meant.

We, as adults, sometimes do this as well. However, as adults, we should be able to understand the difference between "not being able" / "not knowing how", and "not wanting to".  The lines between our choices aren't quite as blurred as they are when we were children. However, when we say "Can't", we tend to apply the word to our lack of understanding of something or to when we feel we're not up to par with our own expectations or expectations of others. Before you blurt out the word "Can't", do a quick mental note of why you "can't". Is it that you just aren't skilled enough? Is it that you don't understand? Is it that you're not trusting your judgment? Is your intuition telling you to hold off till later? Do you feel that you'll be embarrassed if you don't look good in the eyes of others?

No matter what the reason, get to know what that reason is before your say "can't".  Yes, it is your choice to engage or not....but try not to use the word "can't" when you really mean "I choose not to", "I'm not interested", or "I'm not quite up to par yet". Choose the words that accurately reflect your position. The word "Can't", for many of us big kids, can easily turn into a convenient excuse if we don't check ourselves.

Want to know how to get "Can't" to turn into "Can"? Its simple.....try.. Everyone is capable of "can", albeit at a lesser degree than our expectations. To meet those expectations, we just have to keep plugging along.

I have to disagree with Yoda on his quote "Do or do not, there is no try". "Try" does mean a path to "do", assuming that we're committed to the task. Not everyone is born as a Jedi Knight, after all. :)

A favorite fable from the Philippines, "The upo plant"

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When I was a child, I remember hearing fables that taught moral lessons. Many of these stories were very amusing, but taught great lessons, such as the stories of "Juan Tamad" (Lazy John), which describe the consequences of laziness or making too many excuses. The following fable, however, has always been a favorite:

The Upo Plant *

Once upon a time a wild specie of the upo plant grew in the garden of Tandang Teban. When the old man saw the growing plant, he carefully entwined the stem around a small bamboo post to make a trellis for the plant.

The plant did not like the idea of the old man. It wanted to grow freely like any other plant. So the plant talked to the wind.

"Mang Hangin! Magkaibigan tayo, di ba²? Look at me," the plant pleaded. "I am a mere slave of Mang¹ Teban. I need your help. I want to grow freely like the grasses and the plants around me. Look at the banana, the rose, the sampaguita³, and the other plants in this yard. They are free. So my friend, I beg you to blow hard and loosen the tie around my body till it breaks."

"Your request is not just," replied the wind, "but if that is what you like, I will do what you please." So the wind blew hard. It blew hard some more, thus breaking the knot around the body of the upo.

"Thank you," said the upo gratefully. The vine then crawled freely on the ground.

Just then a dog that was looking for a piece of bone came along. The dog stepped heavily on the small vines and was able to find the bone. In taking the bone away, the dog also carried a part of the vine to a far distance. The poor plant not only became short; every part of it was damaged.

When Tandang Teban visited his upo plant next morning, he saw the poor state of the plant. At once he tied the plant to a thin bamboo post. The plant drew a deep sigh of relief.

After a few days, Mang Teban arranged a trellis for the upo to sling its vines on. The plant blossomed. The leaves gave shade while the flowers and fruits gave joy to those who saw them.

One time the wind blew hard and played with the leaves of the upo. The plant requested the wind to blow softly so that the plant would not fall down.

"When you were still maliit, you asked me to set you free from the bamboo post so you may crawl freely on the ground," the wind replied. "Now you request me to spare you. YOu sound funny indeed."

"I had an unforgettable experience," said the upo. "I know now that all creatures have their own ways of living on earth. Experience is the best teacher."

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* Upo is a common gourd vegetable in the Philippines, that if left to grow, can reach very large sizes. The dried shells of the gourd may be fashioned into utensils, bowls, flutes, and smoking pipes, just to name a few uses. I still enjoy upo in the hearty "pinakbet" stew whenever the local Asian store has it in stock. Especially delicious in Filipino fish stews. :)


1. "Mang" is considered a contraction of the respectful title "Manong", which is formally used as a title for older male relatives. (for women, the title is "Manang"). Nowadays, "Mang" is commonly used in place of the word "Mister", especially in reference to those who are older.


2. Roughly translates as ""Mister Wind! We are friends, aren't we?"

3. The "Sampaguita" is the national flower of the Philippines.  My mother used to tell my sister and I about the beauty of the flower, and how the scent of a Sampaguita field can be smelled for miles . Mom told us that oil made from the flowers is used as a rub for headaches and migraines, and that the flower is used for Jasmine tea in China.